By David Futrelle
It’s time once again to venture into the wondrous world of MGTOW cooking. All of the images below were posted to the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit by proud MGTOW chefs. Look upon these marvelous culinary achievements and weep, ladies; these guys don’t need you evil harpies to feed them any more!
But first, a word from our sponsor, Acme Frozen Green Beans, the beans that are blandly delicious even served completely plain without so much as salt or pepper!
Next we have some delicious steaks and other raw meatstuffs. I just hope these are the before pictures, and not the finished meals. And I wish only the best of health to the dude who’s putting raw steak on the same wooden board he’s serving cheese and crackers off of.
Here is a burrito, insofar as that is the correct term for a bunch of stuff piled atop an uncooked tortilla that this guy has no idea how to fold up into a burrito.
But this last one is my favorite. Some “gourmet” Italian foodstuff carefully arranged in a lovely little tableau with a Febreze Candle Air Freshener and a FedEx envelope and a wallet I think and maybe a boombox, I can’t tell. Because it’s all about the presentation.
The guy posted this under the headline:
These guys are sure showing the ladies that they know how to live!
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Today’s Episode of MGTOW Cooking brought to you by Acme Frozen Green Beans
Recipes, MGTOWs. I need recipes.
Off-topic, but it’s just been confirmed within the last hour that Herman Cain is dead.
Of COVID-19. He engaged in risky behavior including attending the Tulsa Trump rally without a mask or any social distancing, because MAH FREEDUMS and I guess it caught up with him.
Well, play COVID games, win COVID prizes. Can’t say I’ll miss him. Anyone else remember this gem?
Ah, 2011, those halcyon days when sexual misconduct was seen as a problem for a GOP candidate.
On the food angle: I bought a giant bag of rice.
Food moths found it.
Fuck.
I wonder if mgtows would have done the manly thing and just boiled the maggots alive then eaten them for extra protein. My masculinity is secure, so I just dragged the rice to the compost.
@numerobis
Invest in a good size plastic bin with a clamping lid, and a pack of weatherseal (that flexible rubber strip stuff used for doors, in case it’s got a different name where you are). Weatherseal round the rim of the bin, rice inside, clamp the lid on. It’s not really long term storage, but it keeps the bugs out and the rice safe and dry for a year or so. Or a bunch of 5 litre screw top jars will work – used to get them from the local sweet shop, until it dodo’d.
@Threp
I do something similar with flour. Since I usually have multiple kinds around, I bought containers that stack and made a “wall of flour” on my kitchen table.
Is it just me, or was the site down for a few hours? It kept showing an error message about an error with a database, but it seems to be working again now.
@Naglfar:
Not just you. Another case of us all becoming collateral damage in a mysterious plot against Surplus.
Threp: I had no issues for a long while, but I woke up a few weeks ago (during a heat wave) to find maggots coming out of my compost.
I went and did all the sealing things *after* that incident, along with putting most things in the fridge or freezer to kill whatever stowaway maggots they might have acquired. Unfortunately my rice didn’t fit in the fridge, so they ate it up from the inside of its sealed container.
They don’t appear to have spread anywhere else at least.
Sounds like your compost heap isn’t getting hot enough or has too much air – it shouldn’t be hugely friendly to maggots normally. Not an expert on compost, though – I use a composter. 😛
They’re right little pains though, aren’t they?
This is just my little bin in the kitchen that I throw stuff in to take out to the heap out back. I should empty it out more often — but then, things move fast when it’s 30 degrees every day.