By David Futrelle
It’s time once again to venture into the wondrous world of MGTOW cooking. All of the images below were posted to the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit by proud MGTOW chefs. Look upon these marvelous culinary achievements and weep, ladies; these guys don’t need you evil harpies to feed them any more!
But first, a word from our sponsor, Acme Frozen Green Beans, the beans that are blandly delicious even served completely plain without so much as salt or pepper!
Next we have some delicious steaks and other raw meatstuffs. I just hope these are the before pictures, and not the finished meals. And I wish only the best of health to the dude who’s putting raw steak on the same wooden board he’s serving cheese and crackers off of.
Here is a burrito, insofar as that is the correct term for a bunch of stuff piled atop an uncooked tortilla that this guy has no idea how to fold up into a burrito.
But this last one is my favorite. Some “gourmet” Italian foodstuff carefully arranged in a lovely little tableau with a Febreze Candle Air Freshener and a FedEx envelope and a wallet I think and maybe a boombox, I can’t tell. Because it’s all about the presentation.
The guy posted this under the headline:
These guys are sure showing the ladies that they know how to live!
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@PoM
At this point it wouldn’t surprise me. His favorite philosophers that he name dropped seem to be a mix of fascists and ancaps (which overlap a lot) and a lot of fascists in the US also claim to be sovcits, so he could be. Plus he talks a lot about “the sprawling state” which, while a a standard mainstream conservative talking point, is also a big thing for sovcits.
The Antarctic Treaty says that Antarctica does not belong to any country and that claims to it are not recognized, so maybe he can go there. I wouldn’t miss him.
Curious now if he’s also an antivaxxer/COVID denier.
That doesn’t meant that the long arm of the government can’t reach you there and you can do whatever you want. You’re still under the jurisdiction of your flag. Murder isn’t legal just because it’s Antarctica.
@PoM
I know, but I feel like your average sovcit weirdo might not know the difference between de jure and de facto. Plus, maybe he’ll go there, I hear they don’t have much internet connectivity.
Naglfar: amusingly enough, contrails are recognized as a warming influence.
To the tune of about 1% of what greenhouse gases are doing.
Also of course they dissipate in a matter of minutes, as opposed to tens of thousands of years.
The whole chemtrails things is amazing. My ex-SIL was a believer, despite being a GA pilot herself — she should understand the science of condensation well enough, since you need to in order to fly safely. She’s of course since lurched into basically all the conspiracy theories, because if you’re susceptible to one you’re susceptible to all of them.
@numerobis
I can see that, what I was poking fun at was his belief it’s a conspiracy to make a NWO government.
Crank magnetism is one hell of a drug. It‘s like there’s some sort of pipeline effect where promoters recruit people into one conspiracy theory, then lead them to others to keep them listening and buying products. Like a conspiracy theory conspiracy or something
Of course, my favorite chemtrails reference is this xkcd comic:
@naglfar
He’s such an idiot it hurts and he seems to really hate you because your actually smart enough to hand his ass to him.
So he pretty much admitted he just made up “Bismarkian pretension” and then got mad when no know knew what he was talking about. And that he’s a fascist. And that he’s easily angered. Also, I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but yes, white supremacy is a form of fascism. What mental gymnastics do you have to go through to get to “white supremacy isn’t fascism?” Like what do you think it is then? A t-shirt aesthetic? And the whole “climate change is an NWO conspiracy!” Dude, really?
Anyway, puff pastry. My daughter is on a serious baking kick. She’s going to try her hand at puff pastry. Any good beginner projects or tips? I really need her to get away from cakes and cookies and buns for my waistline’s sake.
Skimmingway will be back. His kind can’t bare to stay away because like a lot of idiot men he can’t keep his mouth shut even if his life depended on it and he thinks free speech means others should be forced to listen to him.
@texa chick
Tell her not to over knead the dough because then it just turns into bread and doesn’t puff right.
@Lainy
At this point I’m just trying to see how deep he goes. That’s why I suggested he talk about QAnon and chemtrails. Anyway, I’m sure at some point either David will get tired of him and give him the boot or he’ll finally flame out and say what he’s actually thinking about various minorities and get the boot. Either way, I give him 24 hours max.
@Some Chick in Texas
It’s been a long time since I made puff pastry, but one project I can recommend is a strudel. Although historically made with various different kinds of dough, I’ve made mine with puff pastry and it turned out well. And strudels can be filled with all kinds of things, so you have some options in that regard.
@Lainy
Thanks! I’ll let her know.
@ Naglfar
Ooo, strudel, that’s a great idea!
Ooh, are we talking about baking now? Cool!
My favorite bread cookbook is Bernard Clayton’s Complete Book of Breads. The kolach recipe is one I wish I could still make … lemon zest and eggs and pecan halves. Alas, it’s harder to manage portions when you’re looking at a big braided loaf, and with bread this tasty, it’s like trying to eat one potato chip.
The good news is, I found a tasty diabetic-friendly/gluten-free recipe. It’s not the same as being able to enjoy a homemade loaf without having to do serious math, but it hits enough enjoyment points for me.
@Some Chick in Texas
I’ve never made puff pastry but I’ve watched a ton of the Great British Baking Show and that makes me practically an expert.
The secret to puff pastry is to refrigerate the dough and butter after each layer turn-and-fold step. It takes a minimum of an hour and a half to make it, because of this don’t-skip refrigeration step. The key is that you want the butter to melt into the flour IN THE OVEN and not before it reaches the oven, but of course butter melts in your hand and on the counter especially once it becomes very thin. So don’t skip or half-ass the refrigeration steps.
Also, if you fold the dough like a book (fold each half over inward first and then fold in half with the “pages” inside) each time you turn-and-fold you get more layers per turn than if you fold into thirds. This is straight out of the mouth of Paul Hollywood.
@Policy
We love the Great British Bake Off too! I think that’s what started her current obsession.
Puff pastry in Texas in the summer might be a little challenging is what I’m hearing.
https://bakingamoment.com/crusty-french-baguette-recipe/
This recipe is probably my favorite when it comes to bread; it makes a lovely crusty baguette with just 4 ingredients. Though I do knead the dough more than the recipe calls for, mostly because I use all purpose flour and it doesn’t have as much gluten as bread flour.
Looks like I missed a troll that was either really gross or the takedown of the troll was entertaining. Seems like maybe he was talking more about other stuff in addition to women having the right to have sex with only the people we’re attracted to, which my big cause 🙂 but I know with misogynists it’s all related. I do pride myself on being good at tormenting trolls because of how I live and what I do and doing it so unashamedly so I regret missing him.
Oh no, wait. I don’t.
@Stacey
I’m sure he’ll be back this evening. The takedown has been somewhat entertaining but he’s quite dull.
He started out talking about how MGTOWs are good cooks, actually, then slid into a weird thing about how real men™ can eat raw meat, then from there it wasn’t too far to get to defending fascists, all while projecting very hard. Oh, and he has a lot of conspiracy theories.
The main thing that seems to make him obnoxious is his purple prose. Everything he writes is so verbose and bloated with unnecessary flourishes he is quite hard to read. He thinks he sounds profound, but really he sounds pompous and like he’s overcompensating with style for his lack of substance.
What Naglfar said; in fact, the guy was dishing out the violaceous fustian so thick that I assumed he was a parody account. (Aside: “violaceous” and “fustian” are fun words, but really those are the sorts of words that, like many spices, should be used sparingly.)
He is a bit of a roynish scribe.
@Naglfar
Heck, speaking as someone who has a larger than normal vocabulary due to being a ravenous bookworm since childhood and using such vocabulary due to habit; even the terms and vocabulary I use while participating in mutual discourse: I at least try to make half way comprehensible and remotely discernible parlance and terminology to at least ensure the layperson can understand just what it is I’m saying and what point I’m trying to get across.
All he has done, besides using ad hom, projection, strawman, and other retinue of logical fallices (the lowest, weakest and worst forms of discourse mind): is use a Neo-reactionary in group virtue signal via incomprehensible lexicon of alt-right glossary that you would need an Enigma Machine to decode.
Indeed, his tedious pedantry is the height of puerility. I’d wager he’s most amusing at fetes!
He is of no honorificabilitudinitatibus.
But does he remember to spell “abhominable” with an “h”?
Do we think skimmyboy has finally stuck the flounce? He seemed pretty annoyed in his previous post that we weren’t taking in his, erm, lessons, so maybe he’s left for good. In that case, he falls into the rare category of trolls that stick around long than the comment-and-run ones but leaves before getting the banhammer.
Of course, since he was never banned there is still the possibility he’ll show up uninvited in another thread.
I predict he’ll show back up in a new thread 6-8 weeks from now.