By David Futrelle
It’s time once again to venture into the wondrous world of MGTOW cooking. All of the images below were posted to the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit by proud MGTOW chefs. Look upon these marvelous culinary achievements and weep, ladies; these guys don’t need you evil harpies to feed them any more!
But first, a word from our sponsor, Acme Frozen Green Beans, the beans that are blandly delicious even served completely plain without so much as salt or pepper!
Next we have some delicious steaks and other raw meatstuffs. I just hope these are the before pictures, and not the finished meals. And I wish only the best of health to the dude who’s putting raw steak on the same wooden board he’s serving cheese and crackers off of.
Here is a burrito, insofar as that is the correct term for a bunch of stuff piled atop an uncooked tortilla that this guy has no idea how to fold up into a burrito.
But this last one is my favorite. Some “gourmet” Italian foodstuff carefully arranged in a lovely little tableau with a Febreze Candle Air Freshener and a FedEx envelope and a wallet I think and maybe a boombox, I can’t tell. Because it’s all about the presentation.
The guy posted this under the headline:
These guys are sure showing the ladies that they know how to live!
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Idiot. You don’t drink a red with a cream sauce.
well, at least he drinks Cakebread with his raw steak and cheese platter. That stuff isn’t cheap. The Cakebread, I mean, I have no idea what steak costs nowadays.
Edit: the gourmet Italian MGTOW is using powdered parmesan. My husband would never let me get away with that. Not even in the pesto.
That pasta dish looks like dry fettuccine with just a mountain of Parmesan from a can instead of sauce and pieces of undercooked or maybe raw chicken. WTF is that supposed to be?
It’s great they’re cooking for themselves. Really.
Just not sure how this is “owning” the wimmins….
I think I was a better cook when I was 12. And 12-year old me loved spaghetti with butter and parmesan and still wouldn’t call that pile of pasta at the bottom gourmet.
When toxic masculinity leads to food poisoning.
Eh, that probably is the best of the bunch, though that’s a low bar. At least it looks like it won’t give you food poisoning. And it could maybe pass for a burrito bowl with slight modifications. The other day I made and ate something kind of similar for breakfast and it was good. Though I will say, mine at least had the ingredients cooked together.
I know nothing about wine and I don’t drink, but does anyone know if the wine in the last image is any good/paired well, given how he advertised it in the title?
@NOBODY
Presumably we are supposed to want the food and be sad that these men are not making it for us. I’m just mildly amused, I don’t want to eat that.
LOL shades of the “slightly dry” baked MGTOW chicken of yore.
You know, Gordon Ramsay has some decent “cooking basics” lessons on Youtube. Despite his propensity to shepherd you into the next step by saying “from there,” one can learn a lot (and from a MAN no less) if one swallows one’s pride enough to seek aid from the internets. Gordon Ramsay will, if nothing else, teach you to fucking season your food.
David, you reach so far for things to criticize in your ridiculous little “MGTOW can’t cook” hee-haws that one could almost be forgiven for thinking that you moonlight at Mr. Fantastic (I say “almost” because unlike a true hero, you pick on men who are just living their lives, doing things in the kitchen that have no effect on you or anyone who uses this site whatsoever). Honestly, you’ve made my job of explaining where you’re wrong difficult by providing me with such an abundance of material that finding a starting point would be like searching for the lost city of Atlantis.
First of all, I’m pretty sure that the guy who posted the picture of the burrito *knows* that you have to wrap it up in order to finish – he’s just not doing that, because he wants everyone to see the ingredients, which they can’t do if he wraps it up. It displays a serious bug in your theory of mind that you couldn’t comprehend why he wouldn’t wrap up an item which he clearly had every intention of showing to friends on the internet, a fundamental lack of insight or ability to take another person’s perspective that I would go so far as to say borders on sociopathy. I feel sorry for anyone who gets mixed up with you.
The green beans clearly have some admixture of spices, condiments, or fixings on them; though you’ve mentioned ACME green beans having no salt or pepper on them, it should be profoundly obvious to anyone who takes even a cursory glance at these photos that the beans are, in fact, salted, and one guy even took the initiative to apply butter to his beans. I would take a gander at those spectacles of yours to ensure they’re still functioning properly. Both of these meals that you have for some reason decided to deride actually appear downright tasty, suggesting to me that you possess a pampered palate that cannot so much as let you go one evening without shoving some kind of exotic hooha into your pie hole. Or, maybe you can’t even afford to eat what these guys are eating, so you go all sour grapes to take your ressentiment-poisoned mind off of the plastic tray full of frozen hunks you’ve got spinning in your microwave?
The most laughable part of this whole exhibition is your feminine squeamishness regarding to consumption of raw meat. These are not comfy little pajama boys, bedtime sailor brats kicking and squealing in anticipation of momma bringing them some warm milk before they set sail for Never Never Land. These are the one thing that the flabby castrati that flock to the left like children anticipating a chance to sit in Santa’s lap, and the library science degree-holding ballbusters that keep them salivating on leashes while getting worked over by horny giga-chads fear most: MEN. Hard MEN. MEN who will not bow to the ignorant, freedom-hating finger wags of flippant fancy boys and their high-minded nonsense. MEN who would not find themselves classified along with the superfluous should the state cease to exist. MEN with immune systems which have not been compromised by government-supported food pyramid propaganda, yet another way in which men find themselves assailed by gynocratic powers that would have them docile, and pliant to their whims. MEN can handle raw meat.
I can’t really begrudge the MGTOWs their presentations in most of the photos; the majority of food that I cook is probably as ugly, if not uglier, and it’s generally good that they’re picking up the basic life skill of being able to feed themselves.
That said, the raw meat pictures are baffling and gross and seem to be purely taken to indicate how MANLY and HARDCORE these dudes are for cooking/eating meat. (The unnecessary gendering of food continues to annoy me.) It’s a cooking thread, actually show your cooking. I don’t post a photo of a bag of flour to show off my baking skills.
We Hunted the Mammoth … and then ate it raw, dammit. Cos we are MANLY MEN. FIRE IS FOR FEMININE SQUEAMS.
@skimmingway
Who appointed you this job? Whoever did should hire someone else, or reevaluate why they needed it.
He was making fun of a photo of a burrito. You can disagree, but don’t you think this reaction is a bit extreme?
Or maybe this is a blog that mocks misogynists, and David is doing what he does?
Ah yes, the feminine squeamishness of not wanting to get sick. Real men™ only eat raw roadkill. /s
Wow, you have some mighty specific fantasies. There’s probably porn for that, but you won’t find it here.
Ah yes, the ones who refuse to wear masks and insist it’s their constitutional right to infect others. We think better of men here, so we call the ones who do that “assholes” to distinguish them from other men.
Well, that took a turn. Care to elaborate? I’m almost curious.
Contrary to “just living their lives”, these are men who market themselves as “going their own way”(from women)….yet never seem to actually GO.
Oh, look. Man’s Whine is back again.
Sorry, your rant just reminded me of this
@WWTH
Are we sure this is the same guy? He previously showed up on a post about Molyneux defending his fashion choices, which would be in character, but his language seems a bit different. He directly addresses things to David, which MV/M&B didn’t do, and he seems to use more purple prose, so I’m not sure he is the same person.
The boombox thingy is a bike helmet. 😛
I’ll admit, top two dishes are plated out nicer than I usually manage.
O/T: I just stumbled across this clip from a conservative TV channel and it might be the worst song I’ve ever heard:
https://twitter.com/existentialfish/status/1287908714658377728
If this is MV, he’s putting more effort into his sock this time.
I mean, there’s no misandrist like a misogynist, but the fact that he jumped from “I’m showing you my ingredients” straight to “STEAK TARTARE IS A REAL MAN’S FOOD” doesn’t feel like MV to me, personally.
@PoM
To me, the thing that seems odd is how longwinded this is. MV was never this verbose and didn’t use as many weird metaphors.
Maybe skimmingway is an incel who got off the leash.
MV was more about lording over his supposed “superior intellect” over the rest of us plebs.
Skimmingway is much more of the “you are all weak, simpering cucks who wouldn’t know True Manliness if it smacked you in the face” type, which is a different flavor of misogynist.
Although honestly that last paragraph about how “unweakened’ men are apparently capable of consuming raw red meat with no adverse effects was enough to make me briefly wonder if the troll was actually a Poe. Sadly, I don’t think that’s the case.
May I just say that skimmingway shore does have some mighty fine writin.
(they said mockingly)
@Catalpa
A man can, in fact, live off a diet of raw meat. They have done it before, and there presently exist men who are doing it at this very moment. Now, I only take my meat raw on rare (haha) occasion, but I applaud any man who can eat meat like this regularly – a fine display of old world, masculine zest if there ever was one.
@Catalpa
I doubt he’s a Poe because of his previous comments about Molyneux, which he seemed dead serious about.
@skimmingway
I assume they are also experiencing salmonella and trichonosis at this very moment.
Sure, but only for a short time before the e. coli crawling all over that raw slab wins the battle. Have you ever seen how gross the meat-packing industry is?
@Naglfar
I assume that they are experiencing a fullness of stomach and purpose, coupled with the joviality that comes from doing what sheltered naysayers with their faces surgically attached to their books say is impossible.