By David Futrelle
Attention all vagina-havers! Some random incel dude called FrothySolutions thinks your vaginas — or to be more accurate, your vulvas — are disgusting.
“I’m not ready for a real woman’s vagina,” he writes in a post on Incels.co. “Looking at bonafide amateur porn with real vaginas not gussied up for the camera? I can’t do it.”
Oh sure, Frothy here isn’t the first incel to declare his vagina-disgust. These are the guys, after all, who call women “roasties,” a reference to the “roast beef flaps” they think cis women grow down there after having a lot of sex.
And Frothy isn’t the most, er, graphic of the incel vagina-haters. I mean, there’s this guy, who thinks that vulvas are so ugly that they represent a “design flaw” in women.
It looks like an open wound, painful and infected. Its like someone slit open the flesh and then widened it further with a pair of scissors.
Then there’s this guy, who claims the “site” of a vulva causes a nervous breakdown.
Is it just me or can anyone not stand the site of vaginas?
It literally sends my mind into a mental breakdown and I just have to close the tab or my monitor whenever there’s a clear view of one.
I’m not gay, but vaginas are gross.
Meanwhile, this fellow is horrified by any vulva that’s not an “innie.”
Maybe just a low T trait or the roastie meme has consumed my mind but I find 99% of vaginas revolting. It’s almost impossible for me to get hard if it isn’t an innie. When I see those beef curtains and hanging meat I just want to [vomit].
The difference between these guys and Frothy? Frothy knows who to blame for his feelings of disgust: all the women who haven’t had sex with him. (That is, all of them.) Had he enjoyed a “normal sex life,” he thinks, everything would be peachy keen.
Had I had sex at a normal age like a normal person, I’d be acclimated to normal pussy. I’d appreciate it. But absence makes the heart come up with unrealistic fantasies. So if I am shooting for a supermodel vagina, it’s only because I never got the chance to acquire a taste for normal vagina. What am I supposed to do? I’m fucked up, sure. But what am I supposed to do? I happened upon a Twitter GIF of a woman squeezing cum out of her asshole and I literally panicked trying to close the tab.
I don’t know, dude, maybe you’re just following the wrong people on Twitter.
And, more to the point, spending way, way too much time on Incels.co. Seriously, dude, the problem here isn’t that you haven’t gotten used to real-life vaginas yet; it’s that you’re on incels.co literally all the time. I mean, you’ve posted there more than 10,000 times, which is about 10,000 times too many. Incels are very good at turning normal problems of life into catastrophes, so it’s no wonder they can turn normal vulvas into something that makes them gag.
Get off Incels.co, dude. Get some therapy.
H/T — @EXPELincels
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incel deserves nothing but a slap and a thousand wasp stings I think. Dude needs to porn detox and get a life.
The weirdest aspect I find in their “roast beef” theory is that they think labia become “roast beef flaps” after having lots of sex. If this were true, wouldn’t most porn actresses have extremely elongated labia from having a lot of sex? Yet they seem to have mainly gotten their ideas about what labia look like from porn, so they should see that their theory is broken.
Once again, incels and TERFs use the same language. This sounds a lot like how TERFs describe neovaginas.
Maybe he should see a therapist? It’s okay to not want to have sex with vagina-havers but being instantly repulsed by the sight of a vulva sounds a bit unhealthy. It’s just a body part that billions of people have.
So close and yet so far to being self-aware of how the incel community is a malicious crab bucket.
No, then he’d just complain it wasn’t 100% in line with what he wanted.
Not to get TMI, but as a non-vagina-haver, even before I had sex I didn’t assume that all vaginas should look a certain way. I’d imagine the same is true for other people who don’t have vaginas. And even if someone has a preference, they should be able to understand that there is a lot of variety in how all kinds of body parts can look.
Does he know that vaginas and anuses are different? It appears that some misogynists may think there’s just one cloaca-like hole down there, so I’m not sure what this fellow thinks.
Also, if you’re disgusted by semen in anuses, maybe just don’t have unprotected anal sex?
Pretty much any human body part is disgusting if you think about it too much or in isolation. We ARE made out of meat, after all.
@ impudentinfidel
After a recent post lockdown shopping trip I’m about 95% hand sanitiser.
I don’t find vulvas or penis attractive, but the good thing is that I am not supposed to stare at them either. I can sort of agree that the esthetic part of a human aren’t the genitals, but it’s pretty hard to see why it would be a problem.
In fact, if it was the highlight of human beauty, it would be a shame to force everyone to hide them.
So, a guy whose gonads naturally hang out exposed to the world making them very vulnerable to being kicked, not to mention at risk for causing pain because you sat down wrong is claiming the OTHER side has a design flaw? You want to talk design flaws, let’s talk male prostates…
Feet can be pretty ugly too. I’m sure that’s also women’s fault, somehow.
@Ohlmann
I understand that, my point was that there’s a difference between not finding something attractive and going online to rant about how disgusting it is. It’s fine to find human genitalia unattractive, the problem with these incels is that they have become obsessed with talking about how gross vaginas are, which is an old misogynistic trope.
@Michael Suttkus
That reminds me of a joke about how God wanted to punish cishet men by putting the most powerful erogenous zone up the ass so most men wouldn’t stimulate it due to toxic masculinity and the fear of being seen as “gay.”
Yeah, if you can’t stand the site of vaginas, close the tab.
Also, not wanting to look at something at the Internet = breakdown, apparently.
*on the Internet, not at the Internet 😛
There’s a grain of truth to this, in that it’s pretty clear how alienation from regular people coupled with consumption of media images of idealized people can warp your expectations, and not solely in the context of sex. Of course in this person’s case, his hatred of himself (there’s no “normal” age to have sex) and women kind of taints the whole thing. Obviously he’s never gonna be satisfied with either party because he doesn’t want to be.
Personally, I can see how someone wouldn’t just find genitalia beautiful in and of itself, but obviously such a strong adverse reaction betrays misogyny. I know a lot of people do it, but to me it’s such a weird mindset to hate women so much and still base your identity on having (or not having, and being sad about it) sex with them. It doesn’t seem like it could be about fun and/or intimacy anymore, just a weird status symbol. Which I guess is the point.
As an American, I don’t like having pro-therapy/mental health resource discussions without acknowledging how inaccessible it all is for most people, but does anyone here know what the incel stance is on mental health counseling, just on principle?
I can guess it’s very cynical because their worldview depends on being hopeless, and also sometimes (a majority of the time?) women are counselors. Coupled with the aforementioned inaccessibility, that makes me really sad.
@Perry
They are generally very strongly opposed. As for why, the link has direct quotes but the TL;DR is a mix of self-hatred, ableism, antisemitism, and a total misunderstanding of how antidepressants and therapy in general work. The reality is that they probably don’t want therapy because, like you said, their world view and community is built around hopelessness and refusing to try to work on improving life. Therapy could shatter that world view, and they don’t want that. And they’d probably just dismiss therapists as “bluepilled normies” or “Chads” or “foids” or whatever.
I dumped a guy over the “Roastie” thing. He seemed decent and nice and all was well for over a year. I have strict rules and won’t bring men in my home because I’m a single mom and he never complained so he lasted awhile. I was therefore shocked when he was laughing at how “cute” I was for lying to him to seem more experienced. I asked what he meant and shouldn’t have.
He said, “some girls (I was 29 at the time) REALLY need sex and are incredibly horny so they naturally take to sex and have to lie about past partners to cover their deviant little minds. Don’t look worried, it really turns me on, I’m not mad.”
I tried to clarify how he could know my past partners if he didn’t believe me.
He goes, “oh baby, I know you have a tight Korean p*ssy but even a Korean p*ssy would grow stretched long lips after two or three partners and yours is tucked up. It’s proof you’ve had very little experience. It just makes you hot to me.”
He stressed AGAIN that he wasn’t mad I lied to him. So I stressed I hadn’t lied, I was VERY experienced and he didn’t know shit about vaginas. He blew up at me and no matter what I showed him, he insisted I’d be a “roastie” if I’d had almost a dozen male partners and close to three dozen women. I laughed and told him I was experienced enough to know he was fair to middling in bed and I’d kept him around because I thought he was mature enough to handle my schedule but now me and my “Korean p*ssy” were going to find someone else and he could get TF away from me. He flew into a rage and I refused to deal with him. I still don’t know what makes a Korean vagina different from an Irish one. I’ve seen variations regardless of race. I’m more Irish than Korean so…not sure what the hell that is. I’ve been with Korean mixed women before and each one has a completely different appearance. There aren’t 10 vagina molds for all the women according to race. I’ve yet to see two vaginas that look alike. Ever. Freaking weird how some guys think that. I also admit I was insulted about his nuanced racist view of MY vagina.
In fairness to his threats about how old and dried up and undesirable I would be without him, it took me over a year to find someone comfortable with my schedule and rules again. But damn this one is GOOD in bed and I’m not having to settle for any reason. Which feels wonderful!
Savanah,
Yikes! I’m glad you got away from that weirdo.
I remain confused about the mechanics of how having sex changes the shape and size of the labia. I just can’t make it make sense. I mean, the trope of the vagina being stretched out from multiple penises is wrong, but at least it makes sense. The roastie thing? I just don’t get how it’s physically supposed to work.
I wonder how they would react if a woman told them she doesn’t like penises. Would they be OK? Or would they feel offended?
What torment this incel is suffering. And clearly he is helpless to change his situation. Won’t some female porn star please fall desperately in love with him and take him to bed. Only this could ease his suffering. And once he wearies of her, won’t she please pass him on to another female porn star. Or several.
Savanah – Yikes indeed!
(general pondering)
In patriarchal folklore, the traditional hymen myth transformed (or was extrapolated) into a myth about generic “vaginal loosening”, probably in association with constructing a false dichotomy between “virgins” vs. “whores”*. (To start with, the idea that tight vaginas are always sexually desirable to men was probably heavily influenced by the traditional virginity fetish via the hymen myth)
*The original idea was probably just a lazy mental conflation between “having sex with many partners” and “having sex many times”, combined with the intuitive assumption that repeated mechanical stress could cause progressive stretching of the vagina.
Then, someone accustomed to the common aesthetic ideal of a “modest” looking vulva saw a vulva with prominently hanging labia minora, and their intuitive association was with the patriarchal meme about “loose” or “spread out” vagina. Without any rigorous thinking or concern for logic, they then felt that the hanging labia minora could be a potent visual metaphor for the “loose vagina” meme. This realization probably occurred to many people over time, but it only really got viral after one of these people invented the roast beef metaphor and shared it on social media. Then, people familiar with this metaphor started increasingly taking it literally and discussing it accordingly, without ever bothering to ask how sex or promiscuity could actually cause labial growth.
I’m fairly convinced that the “roast beef flaps” delusion came about because incels don’t know that the labia minora and vulva is supposed to be there, and on the outside, and totally separate things to the vagina itself.
Basically, a bad sense of women’s anatomy.
You need to avoid women. At all costs.
That will leave you lots of time to further complain about their genitals on Incels.co. Win-win.
In addition to having limited experience with vulvas/vaginas (which is fine), this sounds like knowing nothing about wounds (also fine), which makes me wonder why you’d choose to compare them to each other (not fine at all). How does it look painful? Where’s the infection? It’s like a weird mash-up of things you find disgusting but that are not related, like globs of snot and roadkill or something.
I also wonder if there is any case where an infected wound could possibly look like a vagina. I probably didn’t see the worse possible infected wound, but I remember something far more … messy … to take the lightest euphemism ever.
@Savannah
That guy sounds awful on so many levels. Between his weird racial fetishism, his ignorance, and his refusal to listen, he sounds like one of the incels or MGTOWs we talk about here.
What I find especially strange about the whole “roastie” myth is, even if it were true, unless a man spent long periods of time staring at women’s vulvas, I don’t know why he would care about what someone’s labias look like. These don’t seem like the kinds of men who would give oral, so I can’t imagine they’d they’d even spend much time seeing vulvas anyway.
@Happy cat
They would probably fly into a rage and demand that she be correctively raped or something like that. I don’t think they would be very accepting of any woman who doesn’t want to have sex with them.
@sunnysombrera
It could be added to by how in porn, women often have surgery to make their labias smaller to conform to a standard, so they probably saw that and assumed that that was what labias should look like. This doesn’t make sense, though, because presumably if sex made labias grow, porn stars would have massive labia from having lots of sex on camera.
@Masse_mysteria
The idea of vaginas as wounds is a pretty old misogynistic trope, which is why in English (and possibly other languages as well) there are are a lot of misogynists who call vaginas “gashes” or “axe wounds.” In perhaps the ultimate demonstration of how TERFs are just recycling old misogyny, they also use this comparison to refer to neovaginas of trans* women.
Wait, what? Are these dudes really so delusional that they think that penises will magically cause permanent stretching, more than giving birth to a child? (Admittedly I don’t know your situation and you may have adopted or had a c-section, but still.) There’s no dude out there who has a dick bigger than an entire human infant.
And I still don’t understand the logic that leads them to believe that having sex with 100 different penises will cause drastic physical changes, but having sex with the same penis 100 times won’t result in any change at all (beyond maybe the first time).
@Catalpa
I’ve heard someone try to explain this one by saying that vaginas recognize penises and won’t stretch for the same penis over and over again. This is of course still a very flawed statement that is obviously and blatantly false, as it implies that vaginas have a mind of their own separate from the person they are attached to and suggests some sort of penis-recognition feature with no explanation as to how or why it would work.
No, but there are men who are huge dicks and are bigger than infants.