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Do women really enjoy sex? A MGTOW Symposium (of sorts)

“An here’s anudda reason youse ladies don’t like sex ..!”

By David Futrelle

Yesterday, I shared with you one MGTOW Redditor’s opinion on why the female orgasm is “the most selfish and pointless thing in the world.” Today, I’d like to share the opinions of a number of equally thoughtful MGTOW Redditors on a related topic: “Do women really enjoy sex as much as men?”

Who better to answer this question than a bunch of dudes who hate women and are probably very bad at sex?

Well, anyone, really, but for the purposes of this post we’ll be sticking with the MGTOWs.

The asker of this important question in the MGTOW subreddit, a gentleman known as psychomantis01, answers his own question with a big “no.”

From what I’ve read, many reasons point in the negative direction.

-Many women lose interest in sex over time http://www.livescience.com/6764-orgasm-desire-top-list-women-sex-concerns.html

-Lack of desire is the most common sexual dysfunction problem for women http://www.livescience.com/18233-women-lose-sexual-desire.html

-Approximately 25% of women cannot achieve orgasm through vaginal intercourse (probably because only a tiny part of the vagina is sensitive)

-Testimony accounts from transsexuals:

‘Im ftm and I have to say,when on ‘female’ hormones the orgasms were pathetic to say the least compared to now,but then I thought they were great. It was like waves of a nice feeling,now it’s extreamly wonderous’

‘MTF here. I have to say I actually think a mans is naturally more intense of the two. This is amusing because of what our culture says’ (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/body-sense/201004/male-and-female-orgasm-not-so-different)

And of course, women only have a fraction of the testosterone amount in their blood as we have.

The more I learn about them, the stronger the impression I get that they are only really interested in childbearing, money, and companionship. It seems to me, as somebody here once put it, they are only really in love with the ‘idea of being in love’, and not in love with the actual man himself.

Emphasis mine. It is true that on many occasions when I myself have been having the sex with a woman she will cry out in passion “Money! Money! Companionship ! I’d rather be bearing a child!”

Other MGTOW Redditors have their own theories.

Zombocom1911 answers psychomantis01’s query with an emphatic “no!”

Not even close. Women are always saying they love sex but in my experience they are completely fucking frigid and really low sex drive unless you are already having sex with them. They never, ever really ACTIVELY pursue or initiate sex with a stranger because they really just don’t care about it, unless its to get something out of a man, like love, affection, dinners, cards, romance.

Women will do anything for cards.

They are so completely disinterested in sex and stuck up about it , it makes me fucking sick. This is why they can charge such a heavy price for it, because they really don’t want it and really don’t need it.

A top 5% male like Chad Thundercock may have pussy literally thrown at him though. I am not him, so I wouldn’t know.

Literally thrown at him.

A fellow called Bartand has learned what he knows about sex from a book — and what a book!

The only reason they enjoy sex at the beginning is because it is their only way to be loved since they have nothing else to offer. Then later she start to wonder if you like her for more than sex so she start to cut off sex. *I got this information from the book “Real time relationship” with Stefan Molyneux. The beginning of the book simply blow me away because it is not only truth, it is predictable!

This, by the way, is a recent photo of the author of that book:

Clearly he is someone who understands sex inside and out. Though he doesn’t seem aware that you’re generally supposed to wear shirts underneath your leather jacket.

Raiden627 is apparently worried about getting a bad sex review:

When they don’t have to do any work and you worship them then yeah they’ll probably enjoy it – only if you make them orgasm though. If you don’t, well you’ll never hear from them again and she’ll tell all her friends about how you have a small penis.

Flaye2 suspects a conspiracy:

Women seem to have lower drives and they use that to control men. Wives would cut off the sex but at the same time not allow him to satisfy him urges elsewhere, that is evil.

Feedmecarrots has a two-part answer:

I think that this has to be answered in two parts. With men well above their sexual league, they unreservedly enjoy it. With men in their league, who they are using sex with as a manipulative tool, they can’t enjoy it. It is too much like work. I have heard that foreign women can enjoy sex with their market equals.

Their market equals.

One anonymous commenter has this to add:

they enjoy sex, [inasmuch as] they know the power of it can enslave you for 18 years [in the US] if you fuck up.

Surprisngly, there are a few answers suggesting that women actually do enjoy sex as sex, not just with Chads and not just as a way to get stuff from men. As Antingly, perhaps better connected to reality than some of his peers, notes,

I’m kind of surprised reading the comments. Sure, some girls seem like they don’t enjoy sex that much, but, some girls will black out during an orgasm. I’m sorry, but I have never experienced anything like that – even when it was really good.

Even more unexpectedly, several commenters actually offer some handy sex tips of their own. “If you ever wanted to please a woman sexually,” writes givecake, “it doesn’t hurt to stimulate all 3 areas at the same time.” (Sorry, I’m not sure which three areas he means out of the obviously more than three areas available.)

I fear, however, that Cristoff might be a tad confused in his declaration that “women achieve orgasm similarly to how men do – by stimulating the head of the clitoris,” because I am fairly certain that most cis dudes can’t even find their own clitoris (mostly because they don’t have one).

But perhaps he knows better than me. After all, these guys are the experts on all things sex.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

Lack of desire is the most common sexual dysfunction problem for women

Hmm, I wonder why the wife/girlfriend of an MGTOW might lack desire…

in my experience they are completely fucking frigid and really low sex drive unless you are already having sex with them.

I wonder why they might not be interested…

They never, ever really ACTIVELY pursue or initiate sex with a stranger

Although there certainly are women who pursue casual sex, the reason there aren’t more is probably because the possible rewards vs dangers is stacked against them. Most men looking for casual sex don’t have to worry about being raped, killed, abducted, or getting pregnant.

A top 5% male like Chad Thundercock may have pussy literally thrown at him though.

Am I the only person who read this and pictured someone throwing a cat at a man?

she’ll tell all her friends about how you have a small penis.

I smell projection.

“it doesn’t hurt to stimulate all 3 areas at the same time.” (Sorry, I’m not sure which three areas he means out of the obviously more than three areas available.)

Well, last time you said the three areas were the left nostril, right knee, and a rest stop in Kentucky, so let’s go with that.

I am fairly certain that most cis dudes can’t even find their own clitoris (mostly because they don’t have one).

Isn’t a penis analogous to a clitoris? I would think that’s the closest most AMAB people have. And I know at least a few trans* femmes who call their dicks “clits,” so presumably a cis man could call his the same if so inclined.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

They never, ever really ACTIVELY pursue or initiate sex with a stranger because they really just don’t care about it, unless its to get something out of a man, like love, affection, dinners, cards, romance.

Women will do anything for cards.

Sure, I’ve ACTIVELY initiated sex with many a stranger for dinner. But if I don’t get a card afterward — Thanks for the sex! — I cut him off. Love? Affection? Romance? Nah, that’s for losers.

Anna
Anna
1 year ago

It never ceased to amaze me how men are capable of accept woman as sexual partner but in a way that makes her feel even more worthless than if she had been rejected…

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
1 year ago

One of the part that annoy me is that they consider that frigidity and asexuality just don’t happen in men. I am not sure how common it is, but it’s super shameful from what I have seen.

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
1 year ago

There is a level of irony in someone naming himself after a character like Psycho Mantis to complain that someone doesn’t enjoy sex enough (the dude’s a psychic who is completely disgusted with humanity’s desire to procreate upon reading the minds of a lot of people).

Just GTOW already miggy.

occasional reader
occasional reader
1 year ago

The beginning of the book simply blow me away because it is not only truth, it is predictable!

The truth, certainly not, but predictable ? Yes, definitively a definition of SM. I mean, you could not use it as a zetetic test for precognition, because almost anyone can predict what SM had written in his book.

Lack of desire is the most common sexual dysfunction problem for women http://www.livescience.com/18233-women-lose-sexual-desire.html

Do we need to present him with all the studies that show that happens to men too, especially when the time goes by ?

Approximately 25% of women cannot achieve orgasm through vaginal intercourse (probably because only a tiny part of the vagina is sensitive)

Wait, is vaginal intercourse the only existing and possible sexual act ? Even if the figure was right, at which point does it answers the original question !?

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
1 year ago

““it doesn’t hurt to stimulate all 3 areas at the same time.”

Primary production, manufacturing and services?

skimmingway
skimmingway
1 year ago

The fact that you saw fit to make a silly remark about Stefan’s apparent lack of a shirt only goes to show that you are uncharitable enough to presuppose that he wouldn’t actually be wearing one under that. Take a closer look, if you will; he actually DOES seem to be wearing a shirt, only, it is a little low-cut. There seems to be what looks like a neckline of a shirt just near where Stefan’s zipper is placed. It is, in all likelihood, a low-cut t-shirt, which would be a very fashionable choice for Stefan to make, as Stefan is not one who is ignorant of things sartorial. I have always found him to be one natty daddy, the kind of sharply-dressed man that women often find themselves drawn to; his rational-minded overabundance of male-brained reason and paternalism, which, in itself, is unattractive to women, is slyly counterbalanced by wise decisions in tailoring, which is oddly indicative of the very self-same reasoning prowess that drives women to despise him, because “omg like fuck u dad, you can’t tell me what to do!!!! im dating roger btw”

Amtep
Amtep
1 year ago

Wait, is vaginal intercourse the only existing and possible sexual act ? Even if the figure was right, at which point does it answers the original question !?

I suspect the complaint is that not all women can get off as a side effect of a MGTOW using them as a masturbation device. They expect extra attention and stuff on top of that. Since sex = being used as a masturbation device by your partner, obviously they don’t enjoy sex.

The true unfairness in this man-hating world is that artificial masturbation devices are encouraged for women’s use, but men who use them are shamed for it. Men are forced, forced I tell you, to constantly pester the women around them for sex, which women then maliciously withhold. Oh, how they would love to Go Their Own Way instead.

C.A.Collins
C.A.Collins
1 year ago

I am willing to consider the theory that people having sex with women enjoy themself more than people having sex with men.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to gather more data.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Amtep

The true unfairness in this man-hating world is that artificial masturbation devices are encouraged for women’s use, but men who use them are shamed for it.

Ah, but most porn is designed for a straight male audience, so that must counter balance this supposed effect to some degree.

@C.A. Collins
I can’t find it now, but I do recall seeing a study that women who have sex with other women report much greater satisfaction than those who have sex with men, so it would appear that theory is supported.

O/T: Roosh has now declared that Bratz dolls are a Jewish plot to groom children to be gay and sex workers.

Shayne O'Neill
Shayne O'Neill
1 year ago

Christ. I’d really like to sit down with some of these lads and just explain it.

Fellas, women DO like sex, your just doing it wrong. Never fear! You happen to have an expert teacher right there in bed with you. Ask her what she likes, then do that shit.

Of course, a lot of these dudes seem hell bent on chasing any potential sex partner away so perhaps , uh, maybe read blogs by sex positive feminist educators or something, theres more than a few who write articles for men explaining it.

Catalpa
Catalpa
1 year ago

Look, I’m a woman who doesn’t ever like or want sex and I can confirm that there are many women out there who do like sex, because, y’know, I’ve actually spoken to other women and listened them.

A top 5% male like Chad Thundercock may have pussy literally thrown at him though.

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/422/621/326.gif

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

Women will do anything for cards.

Are we talking about Magic: The Gathering? Because some of those cards are super rare. If you’re a guy and have a Black Lotus or Ancestral Recall, you can probably have all the sexings.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Moggie
That reminds me of a woman who traded sex with a stranger for 5,000 World of Warcraft gold coins. Although it’s not the same as trading cards, I’d imagine many of the same types of people are into trading cards and games like WoW.

Nicholas C Kiddle
Nicholas C Kiddle
1 year ago

I can confirm that there are many women out there who do like sex, because, y’know, I’ve actually spoken to other women and listened them.

This was what I was thinking. Seems like that’s the only way to answer the question properly, and also a very difficult thing for anyone in the manosphere to do.

Regarding the clitoris, like Naglfar said it’s basically the same structure as the penis. I call mine a dick even though the anatomy textbook would call it a clitoris, and I also know transfeminine people who do it the other way round.

Speaking of trans people, I don’t think the trans man saying orgasms were rubbish before he went on hormones proves anything. Every trans person I know, whatever their birth assignment, reports enjoying sex more once they weren’t, you know, dysphoric. Funny how that works.

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
1 year ago

The MGTOW wrote:

They are so completely disinterested in sex and stuck up about it, it makes me fucking sick. This is why they can charge such a heavy price for it, because they really don’t want it and really don’t need it.

Welcome to free (sexual) market capitalism? The premise (that women are mostly asexual) seems dubious, but granting it, this makes perfect sense. I don’t see how you could blame women for being sexually picky, if they’re inherently less interested in sex than men.

They never, ever really ACTIVELY pursue or initiate sex with a stranger because they really just don’t care about it, unless its to get something out of a man, like love, affection, dinners, cards, romance.

Manospherians often profess to believe this sort of stereotype, yet they also talk like women should be more thankful for having “easy” access to sex, in the sense of just being poked with someone’s penis. It’s like it doesn’t truly register that women want or need something else out of their heterosexual relationships – something that men stereotypically don’t much want or need.

Women seem to have lower drives and they use that to control men. Wives would cut off the sex but at the same time not allow him to satisfy him urges elsewhere, that is evil.

If women are so uninterested in sex that having sex with a them is a scarce opportunity, how’d you satisfy your urges elsewhere?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
1 year ago

It’s interesting how MGTOWs and other related manosphereans explain the so-called sexual marketplace in terms of biotroofs and yet simultaneously blame women for their alleged biological limitations. If it were true that women were biologically less interested in sex, and biologically more picky than men, then how does it make sense to blame women for acting accordingly? That’s like blaming my cat for being a murder machine – she was engineered by nature to hunt and kill stuff, and you can’t really hold her responsible for that. If women were naturally all of the things that manosphereans say, then it wouldn’t make sense to hold them responsible for those traits.

They want to have their cake and eat it too, so to speak, by saying AWALT biologically, and yet resenting and hating women for these supposed biological traits.

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
1 year ago

Speaking of trans people, I don’t think the trans man saying orgasms were rubbish before he went on hormones proves anything. Every trans person I know, whatever their birth assignment, reports enjoying sex more once they weren’t, you know, dysphoric. Funny how that works.

This. I recall reading Julia Serano’s Whipping Girl where she describes the difference in sensation before and after she transitioned. And comes to an opposite conclusion to the quoted trans men.

Wait, is vaginal intercourse the only existing and possible sexual act ?

Well oral sex performed on women makes you unmasculine, you know. And performing hand stuff means you are not having the stimulation of your penis so clearly cannot be a sex-act. If it doesn’t involve a penis it isn’t sex. This is, incidentally, also why gay men exist and gay women do not./sarcasm

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

I really want to know what he thinks the three areas are cause like my ears are one of the most sensitive parts of my body. It’s almost like ever person is different and you got to pay attention to your partner instead of treating them like a how to guide for a mass produced product

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Lumipuna

If women are so uninterested in sex that having sex with a them is a scarce opportunity, how’d you satisfy your urges elsewhere?

Frankly, if buying some sex toys would keep manospherians away from women, I fully support a crowdfunding campaign to buy each one some toys.

Or they could try having sex with each other. But even other MGTOWs don’t seem to want to spend time with each other.

@Battering Lamb

Well oral sex performed on women makes you unmasculine, you know.

I also heard some incels claiming that cunnilingus was gay because a woman might have had other penises in her vagina first.

@Lainy

It’s almost like ever person is different and you got to pay attention to your partner

Ah, but for a MGTOW, paying attention to a partner would mean listening to a woman, and they can’t do that.

As for every person being different, one would think they could at least understand this from their own bodies, as presumably they have different areas of sensitivity as well. For me, my inner thighs are hypersensitive sometimes but not other times with no clear reason why. As is a part of my lower abdomen.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
1 year ago

… anyone want to tell them about the whole Tiresias thing?

When they don’t have to do any work and you worship them then yeah they’ll probably enjoy it – only if you make them orgasm though. If you don’t, well you’ll never hear from them again and she’ll tell all her friends about how you have a small penis.

Conversely, we all know that if Raiden627 had sex with a woman and did not have an orgasm, he’d be totally cool with it, would not give his partner a “bad review” and would be delighted to hook up again.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

I also heard some incels claiming that cunnilingus was gay because a woman might have had other penises in her vagina first.

Ironically I got told by a terfy lesbian type that it was disgusting and heterosexual to do oral on a bi woman because she might have had a penis there at some point. Words can not describe how happy I am that I left her dorm and did not have sex with her that night.

vaiyt
vaiyt
1 year ago

“Gentlemen, are people besides us really human? Let’s debate.”

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

And out of nowhere, a Molyneux stan appears!

@Skimmingway

The fact that you saw fit to make a silly remark about Stefan’s apparent lack of a shirt only goes to show that you are uncharitable enough to presuppose that he wouldn’t actually be wearing one under that.

It’s a joke. You are reading way too far into it. I don’t see a shirt, so it seems fine to make jokes about it.

which would be a very fashionable choice for Stefan to make

Fashionable enough to counteract his weird leather jacket and sunglasses aesthetic?

I have always found him to be one natty daddy

I don’t know what this means and I’m not sure I want to.

the kind of sharply-dressed man that women often find themselves drawn to

comment image
I wonder why most of his fans are angry single men, then.

his rational-minded overabundance of male-brained reason and paternalism

Putting aside the creepiness factor of describing a romantic interest as “paternal,” he doesn’t seem very reasonable. If he was, why would he be so into weird conspiracy theories?

which, in itself, is unattractive to women

True. I don’t find conspiracy theorists to be attractive.

“omg like fuck u dad, you can’t tell me what to do!!!! im dating roger btw”

I don’t think many women call Stefan Molyneux “Dad.”

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

I have never told my dad I hate him. Never told my parents i hate them. My dad was never an asshole who treated me unfairly and told me who I couldn’t date. My parents were good,loving, understanding as much as they possibly could have been and patient. When my rebellious stage happened it was towards society, not my parents. They never tried to make me be anything I wasn’t, even when I went through phases. So um…. Creepy dude if you think most woman hate and rebelled against their dads. Probably shows what shit parents those dads are instead of some biological thing. And your stan thinks that when i wear black lipstick and black nail polish I’m trying to attract a man.
Also… Roger? You couldn’t think of one sexy name?

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Lainy

Roger? You couldn’t think of one sexy name?

I was a bit curious about that myself as well. Is Roger another character in the incel mythology, like Chad, Stacy, and Tyrone?

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
1 year ago

*blinks a lot at Skimmingway*

Uh … not every woman who is attracted to men is attracted to the same kind of man. And how a man dresses can be quite varied. A sharply tailored suit can be attractive, but so can a casual t-shirt and jeans. For this woman, it’s all about the man inside the clothes, and specifically Mr. Parasol, because he’s smart and funny and loves me and has stood by me through life’s tribulations (and we’ve faced some doozies together).

Also I never rebelled against my dad.

Also also, I don’t think that jacket is very well tailored … anybody else think the fit around the shoulders needs to be adjusted? Admittedly, leather jackets have never been my thing so YMMV. But he looks like the kind of man who dresses the way he wanted to in high school, now that he can afford his own clothes.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Victorious Parasol

Not every woman who is attracted to men is attracted to the same kind of man.

Indeed. Maybe it’s just me, but Stefan doesn’t look all that attractive. He’s not my type at all physically, but it’s really his personality that turns me away. He could be the most beautiful man ever and I wouldn’t want him because he’s a dirtbag.

Also also, I don’t think that jacket is very well tailored … anybody else think the fit around the shoulders needs to be adjusted?

The shoulders look off, the sleeves are a bit big, the whole jacket looks maybe a size or two too big for his frame. And it’s unzipped a bit far.

I also think there’s a few issues with the photo itself, though this is just my opinon. The glare reflecting off of it really clashes with the black background, which similarly seems to make the jacket look weird as I can’t tell easily where it starts and the background ends. It all looks a bit tacky. He also just doesn’t seem to be the kind of guy who can pull off the Morpheus look anyway, nevermind that that movie came out over 20 years ago yet Stefan is acting like it’s cool for the kids.

Oh, and he has the wrong kind of sunglasses to be Morpheus. It looks like he vaguely remembered what Laurence Fishburne looked like as Morpheus, then just picked whatever he had in his wardrobe that looked vaguely similar. I guess this is why he isn’t at cosplay conventions much.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
1 year ago

@Naglfar

Indeed. Maybe it’s just me, but Stefan doesn’t look all that attractive. He’s not my type at all physically, but it’s really his personality that turns me away. He could be the most beautiful man ever and I wouldn’t want him because he’s a dirtbag.

I think that if somebody is physically your type but has a personality that just turns you off, it’s worse in a way, because here’s somebody who ALMOST meets your expectations. That’s so disappointing.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)

@VP

Also also, I don’t think that jacket is very well tailored …

It’s fucking horribly cut. Straight up and down, the zip an afterthought with shitty stitching, jack-shit lifting or shaping on the shoulders (which desk types tend to need desperately), no movement or flow … I’d be ashamed to even touch that bit of crap, never mind buy it. You’d be stuck moving in it like the damned tin woodman with a bad case of rust.

Congrats on the job, BTW – missed congratulating you in the right thread.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I mean, to each their own, everyone has different taste. But it really takes a special kind of manospherian self delusion to look at Stephen Molyneux and think he’s just exactly the type of guy all women want.

I’m a woman, and I’ve got to say…

No.

Hard pass.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
1 year ago

@Threp

Thanks for that breakdown! I may’ve watched a lot of Queer Eye, but I’m no Tan France. And thanks for the congrats, too.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@WWTH
As far as I can see, the only woman who is into Stefan is the one he pretended to be in his comments section (and failed hard).
comment image
This screenshot will never get old.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

“Being an attractive young woman…” is about as convincing as in Red Dwarf when Rimmer is posing as Kochanski and blows it by stating “I’m having a woman’s period.”

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)

@VP

My pleasure! Sister’s a costume designer and got two of our kids into designing clothes, so I get chapter and verse on this stuff all the time. Me – I just sew! 😀

It’s pretty interesting.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
1 year ago

I have no doubt it’s the experience of most miggies that women don’t enjoy sex with them. Women likely don’t even enjoy their company.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
1 year ago

Stefan doesn’t wear his egg vs. shoe jacket well. He just doesn’t fill it out enough. As for his “intellect”? It provides plenty of fodder for this site, so, well, I guess he doesn’t fill that category out completely either.

Just noticed the comments about the jacket’s cut. That could be the problem. It’s a fashion fail, any way you look at it.

Ledasmom
Ledasmom
1 year ago

“It doesn’t hurt to stimulate all 3 areas at the same time.”

Executive, legislative and judicial?

Also, Yelp for sex would be hilarious.

Cats In Shiny Hats
Cats In Shiny Hats
1 year ago

It doesn’t help that the egg and shoe aren’t anchored to his hands with shadow.

Fast and loose Photoshop tip: To cast a shadow double the layer you want to have a shadow, then on one layer block in the colour you want the shadow to be. Take that layer and give it a nice blur effect, side it in the direction the light is facing, and put it behind the colour layer. It’s not perfect but it’s a good quick way to blend two layers together.

dr. Jearene Binet
1 year ago

In fact, this is a very common case that over time a woman loses interest in sexual intercourse. And for some reason, men think that this is because this man is no longer attracted to his girlfriend, but this is not at all the case. Women do not want sex with all men, and not just with a specific one. This is interesting and sad, because at the beginning of a relationship, desire overflows, and the more time passes, the less desire becomes.

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
1 year ago

@Cats In Shiny Hats:

Alternately, you can open “Layer Style” (in the menu that drops down from “Layer” in the menu bar along the top), select “Drop Shadow” and play with the sliders till you get the angle, opacity, etc you want.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@dr. Jearene Binet

Women do not want sex with all men, and not just with a specific one.

I don’t understand. Wouldn’t that mean all women are lesbians or asexual then? I can verify from my own experience that I am sexually attracted to men, so I’m not sure how this theory works.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
1 year ago

@Naglfar, dr. Jearene Binet
I assumed it meant wanting to have sex with a couple of random guys every now and then? That’s not all men and not a specific man.

Though I thought that most men also desire sex less as they age, so I don’t really see why this is a problem with women only.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@Dr. Jearene Binet

No! it’s not sad, its beautiful. Couples that have been together for years will lose sex drives because as we get older we lose sex drives. people have what’s called passionate love for the first 8 months to a year of a relationship. Things are all rose color glasses, sex is active, their our butterflies, your learning about a new person, but that’s just the start of falling in love. See after that stage, comes the commit stage, this is when a relationship either falls apart, or it becomes something more. You might not have those powerful feelings anymore, but you have something better, you have trust, you have bond. You have a deeper love. Sex might take more work then, life gets in the way of things.

I have been with my husband for three years, he is still the most beautiful man I have ever seen. I am still greatly sexually attracted to him, and he can still turn me on like a light. Part of that is that we are both in our early 20’s and it’s easier. I expect it to fade away as time goes on, but I know I will still have a deep love for him and he will for me. Even if at times the most sexual thing we will do is hold a hand and snuggle through out the night.

I will always be there for him, his support when he needs it. A partner through life to navigate all the things that aren’t great about it. He will do the same for me. To have a family with, grow old, and have burial plots right next to each other so I can spend eternity with him by my side. I will take that over raw sexual passion any day. I don’t care much that our sex life has gone from the raw “I got to fuck you, I have to have you now, right against this table counter, in this elevator, or in this church grave yard.” we still have those days but it is more staring into each other eyes, slow movements, listening to moans, and heart beats, and breaths. tangled up with each other like the world outside doesn’t even exists.

You don’t lose desire, you gain love.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Masse_mysteria

I assumed it meant wanting to have sex with a couple of random guys every now and then?

Even then, it seems there are a lot of women in stable long term relationships with men. Although some may prefer to hook up or have one night stands, many others do seem to like long term relationships.

The other reading of “women do not want sex with all men” is that women do not want to simultaneously have sex with all the men in the world. This I can understand, as I am not really interested in an orgy with billions of people. Maybe it’s someone’s thing, but not for me.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)

@Lainy

Perfectly said.

44 years for us next Sunday … 😛

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Threp
Happy anniversary!

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@Therp

Congulations. I feel like a lot of people see the passing of sexual desire as the death of a relationship. Sex is nice, it feels good, the desire for sex is a powerful feeling for a lot of people, and the commitment stage seems really boring to a lot of people. They don’t understand that the commitment stage can be better then the sexual desire.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
1 year ago

@Naglfar
To be clear, I didn’t mean to imply the idea made sense, just that I didn’t think it excluded heterosexual women altogether.

And, rereading dr. Jearene Binet’s comment, I noticed that this bit

And for some reason, men think that this is because this man is no longer attracted to his girlfriend, but this is not at all the case.

seems to suggest that men never lose interest in their girlfriends over time, which would be interesting if true. To say nothing of the fact that losing interest in sex (with a specific partner or people in general) isn’t really the same as being somehow unable to enjoy sex, so I don’t actually understand how the comment was supposed to be relevant to the topic.