By David Futrelle
So the regulars over on Incels.co are having a little discussion about porn — whether it’s a useful “cope” for inceks or some sort of mind-contro; plot by Teh Jews. (“Porn causes men to be coomers that end up being simps that support whores,” writes one fellow. “If you watch it you’re already brainwashed by the jew.”)
Then a commenter called Wizard32 pops into the discussion with assorted suggestions for artificial vaginas that he thinks will make masturbation much more fulfilling — so fulfilling, in fact, that incels will want to pass them along to their sons. (Gee, thanks dad, a used sex toy that forces me to imagine you masturbating.)
But incels by definition don’t have sons, you might object. Well, Wizard32 has a plan for that and even I have to admit that it’s rather ingenious, if a tad impractical and more than a little rapey.
note: the way to have sons is to sell your sperm to chad, ask him to squirt it inside foids before he fucks them to guarantee that while they will get pregnant, it won’t be with his sperm, so chad won’t have to pay child support.
Uh, how exactly are you going to secretly squirt some day-old incel sperm into your lady while having sex with her? Won’t she notice the squirt bottle and feel the weird cold ooze going into her?
But never mind, because Wizard32 has some thoughts on the long-term effects of his plan.
in exchange, foid never finds who you are, but your chad bro will tell you who your sons are, and you secretly pass your onaholes [Japanese sex toys] onto them as soon as the roasty mom dies of a drug overdose
How exactly do you “secretly” pass along used sex toys to your sons? Leave them in a little bag by the front door with a note? Do you include the squirt bottle you and Chad used to get her pregnant?
Euuuughhhh.
And thus ends today’s episode of Incel Life Hacks.
H/T — @EXPELincels on Twitter
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@Buttercup
Maybe Chad is the opposite of them in every way so he’d be into it?
I hope no incels donate to sperm banks, no one deserves to unwittingly receive incel semen.
Can’t people get paid for selling their plasma? Or is that another “paying for your time” loophole?
I made it as far as the point where the dad passes his used fleshlite to his son….
@ Catalpa:
No, blood is not a body part — remember “a pound of my flesh but not a drop of my blood…”?
@ Talonknife:
No, a more sophisticated arrangement is needed, otherwise the socially skilled friend just gets laid twice….
It’s a real surprise turn of events that the fleshlight gets passed on when the mother dies. I kind of expected that to happen when the incel himself dies. I mean, if it’s such a great toy, wouldn’t you want to keep using it? If you give it to someone else, you’d presumably want to get a new one, and it would make more sense to give the new one to anyone you want have the same experience you’ve had.
Also what?
If you’re selling your sperm to Chad, Chad’s paying you. That means that (for whatever reason) he’d own the sperm and it would be he’s to do with as he pleases. Why would he do what you ask of him?
It seems like paying someone to do something disgusting on your behalf would be easy enough to grasp as a concept, but no. For some reason, when you want something illegal done, people will pay you for the privilege.
@Catalpa
They do, but payment is allowed for plasma because it gets sterilized and broken down into various proteins and pharmaceutical components. Unlike blood and sperm, the end product doesn’t go straight into another person’s body. The rule against payment for other bodily fluids is mainly for the recipient’s safety. If people got paid for donating, it would incentivize donors to conceal bloodborne/sexually transmitted diseases.
Boy, do incels love to overestimate their (and everyone else’s) fertility. Intercourse and baby is not a 1:1 relationship.
Especially under this scheme. Sperm would probably die within an hour (if not minutes) stored at room temperature in a plastic container likely contaminated with trace residues of soap and other chemicals. Heck, a lot of women have trouble getting pregnant even with properly washed, spun, and frozen sperm that are physically inserted into the egg by an embryologist. What makes incels think their sperm is so robust it can spend six hours in a Febreze bottle and still make it across the finish line?
@Masse_mysteria
Even then, random men giving new sex toys is a bit creepy, though less so than giving used ones.
Though is this the first time an incel has shown altruism (even in an icky way)?
Or why would he buy it in the first place? Incel jizz isn’t a great investment. On the other hand, incel tears are.
@Buttercup
Probably the same thing that makes semen retainers think their sperm gives them superpowers.
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Oh, that’s fascinating! I didn’t know that, but it makes sense! Thanks for explaining!
Hey guys! I know its been a while but I could really use ur help. I have reason to believe that alt right activist are coming for me like, tonight. I live in portland OR has anyone heard of a weird tinder scam happening there? to threaten or harass SJWs?
some kind of sex trap
Hey guys if they get me you will tell my story right? Tell them I never wanted to hurt anybody i swear to God I am not a bad person!
Guys it’s all true, they are coming to get us this is fuck real as shit.
They are trying to doxx me I need a record of this somewhere
Inceks? Mind contro?!?
David!!! Plz edit and fix
@calmdown
Do you have an alternate location where you can be for a night? Like a friend’s house or relative?
Yeah
@calmdown
If you can get there safely and you think you are at risk of immediate harm tonight, it might be a good idea to stay there for the night. Be careful on the way not to draw unnecessary attention.
Thank you.
Chad, who allegedly has consensual sex all the time, will pay Incel for a substance with which he will then stealthily rape his hitherto consenting sexual partner?
Why?
Why would anyone want to do that to anyone?
@calmdown
I’m so concerned for you. I don’t know much about doxxing, but I do have some suggestions:
Look in the right column of this blog. You’ll see this. Click on the subjects:
If You’re Being Harassed
Speak Up & Stay Safe(r)
Crash Override
DIY Feminist Cybersecurity
Without My Consent
9 Ways to Dodge Trolls
Contact David Futrelle, who writes this blog. He may have some suggestions:
[email protected]
How about calling a rape hotline? A domestic violence hotline? Or maybe this:
Victims Rights Law Center
VRLC Oregon Office:
Phone: (503) 274-5477
Toll Free: (855) 411-5477
Legal assistance intake line: x6
Live intake hours:
Mondays 11:00 am – 1:00 pm (English and Español)
Tuesdays 3:00 pm – 5:00 pm (English)
Wednesdays 2:00 – 4:00 pm (English and Español)
Fridays 9:00 – 11:00 am (English)
Fax: (503) 715-2183
520 SW Yamhill, Suite 430
Portland, OR 97204
Get directions to our Oregon office
PLEASE NOTE: the VRLC cannot conduct walk-in meetings due to the high demand for services and to protect client confidentiality and safety.
E-mail Disclaimer: Transmitting information to us by e-mail unilaterally does not establish an attorney-client relationship or impose an obligation on either the Victim Rights Law Center or even the receiving lawyer to keep the transmitted information confidential. By clicking “Send”, you acknowledge that we have no obligation to maintain the confidentiality of any information you submit to us via e-mail unless we already represent you or unless we have agreed to receive limited confidential material/information from you as a prospective client.
https://www.victimrights.org/contact-us
Can any other Mammotheer offer suggestions to calmdown?
Good luck! Let us know how you’re doing.
@calmdown
I’m so concerned for you. I don’t know much about doxxing, but I do have some suggestions:
Look in the right column of this blog. You’ll see this. Click on the subjects:
Contact David Futrelle, who writes this blog. He may have some suggestions:
[email protected]
How about calling a rape hotline? A domestic violence hotline? Or maybe this:
https://www.victimrights.org/contact-us
Can any other Mammotheer offer suggestions to calmdown?
Good luck! Let us know how you’re doing
@Daughter:
Incels, like many other empathy-deficient people, believe that their views are universally held, and people who claim otherwise are just lying about their beliefs for some reason: self-delusion, misguided dating strategy, riding the feminism money train, or (((da JOOOOOOOS))), for instance.
This shows up here because, in addition to the idea that the Chad will go for this whole cockamamie scheme, he also necessarily shares the incel’s beliefs on the worth of women; namely, that their only value comes from their reproductive organs and they are entirely replaceable. Remember, in their mythology, Chad has sex with different women as often as he wants, and will dump a feeeeeeemale as soon as she’s used up.
Also, the woman being consenting has never mattered to an incel’s thought processes. Some incels say consent is something that alphas always get and everyone else never does. Others hold that consent is a fiction, all sex is rape, and a “foid” who sleeps with an alpha will just claim that she liked it afterwards.
I just wanted to hop on here and let you know that I’m ok. I was very paranoid last night and i did really think someone was coming to get me. However, I have already contacted authorities and there’s nothing else to do at this time. Basically got catfished online and gave away some personals so I thought I was going to get murdered. I am physically fine but will need some time to regain faith in humanity. Thanks for the concern and I wish you all the best. Again I apologize for the disruption!
I still believe I may have been catfished by some form of MRA for an “experiment” of some kind. I’ll probably never know for sure what happened. but I can tell you all that online deception is an extremely real thing and to always play it sane. Never mix weed, a mid-life crisis, and COVID instability.
@calmdown
Good to hear you’re safe now.
“Catfished”?
No apologies needed.
And in case more trouble materializes, a bit of technical advice:
* I assume you fear they won’t be deterred by a lock on a door, or you’d be OK with just staying home with the door locked.
* Bring with you anything that contains clues to where you went, if possible, including any phone, tablet, or laptop used to look people up, search for shelters, or find and review area motels. If they break in, find you missing, and look through your things they might otherwise figure out where you went.
* If possible, avoid doing such a search on a device you’ll have to leave behind (e.g. desktop computer). If you have to, wipe the browser history afterward. Likewise, bring or wipe anything with your contacts list in it, to avoid potentially putting those people at risk.
* Since the far right often has moles and sympathizers in law enforcement, call them only as a last resort if faced with imminent bodily harm.
* Since the far right often has moles and sympathizers in law enforcement, they may be able to track your mobile devices. So once you leave, do bring them with you (as they have your searches and contacts in them) and do deactivate them: pull batteries, put in airplane mode, or something. Do so as you leave, not after you get somewhere, or the history of your devices’ movements could lead the bad guys right to you.
* Don’t meet up with a friend at a known or habitual hangout. Use somewhere you don’t regularly go, or just meet them at their place.
* Depending on how paranoid you are, go on foot or by bicycle or get picked up by a friend rather than using a taxi (could blab to that law enforcement mole) or your own car (GPS tracker, etc. etc.) — one reason to maybe meet at a neutral location, so they are not put at risk in case they happen to get to your place right when it gets attacked, and you can switch vehicles there. In that case the location should be somewhere it’s safe to leave a locked vehicle parked overnight. Or, if you have one, use an old clunker of a car that doesn’t have any GPS or other modern gizmos in it. Those are no more trackable electronically than a bicycle.
* And, of course, don’t forget to check from time to time that you’re not being followed the old-fashioned way.
Note: though they can possibly track your phone and car through law enforcement contacts, they shouldn’t be able to intercept voice: that requires a warrant, and a white supremacist cop won’t be able to do it all on their own off the books the way they can some searches and GPS tracking. However, they might be able to determine numbers you have called. There are a few ways to limit the use of this. One is to have short calls with a sizable number of people, exactly one of which (buried in the middle of the sequence in some random spot) is to set up to stay with them. Then there’s no way for the bad guys to know which call was the salient one. Unless they’re willing to go door to door checking out everyone you called they won’t find you that way. Another is to use messaging apps rather than legacy telephone voice calling, especially if the app encrypts. Those can’t generally be traced by the cops without, at the very least, judicial branch cooperation. And nobody will bat an eye at someone making a zoom call in the middle of the pandemic, so the network traffic blends right in with commonplace stuff right now.
Others, feel free to improve on this where possible.