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This incel “life hack” involving sperm will repulse and fascinate you

Squirt!

By David Futrelle

So the regulars over on Incels.co are having a little discussion about porn — whether it’s a useful “cope” for inceks or some sort of mind-contro; plot by Teh Jews. (“Porn causes men to be coomers that end up being simps that support whores,” writes one fellow. “If you watch it you’re already brainwashed by the jew.”)

Then a commenter called Wizard32 pops into the discussion with assorted suggestions for artificial vaginas that he thinks will make masturbation much more fulfilling — so fulfilling, in fact, that incels will want to pass them along to their sons. (Gee, thanks dad, a used sex toy that forces me to imagine you masturbating.)

But incels by definition don’t have sons, you might object. Well, Wizard32 has a plan for that and even I have to admit that it’s rather ingenious, if a tad impractical and more than a little rapey.

note: the way to have sons is to sell your sperm to chad, ask him to squirt it inside foids before he fucks them to guarantee that while they will get pregnant, it won’t be with his sperm, so chad won’t have to pay child support.

Uh, how exactly are you going to secretly squirt some day-old incel sperm into your lady while having sex with her? Won’t she notice the squirt bottle and feel the weird cold ooze going into her?

But never mind, because Wizard32 has some thoughts on the long-term effects of his plan.

in exchange, foid never finds who you are, but your chad bro will tell you who your sons are, and you secretly pass your onaholes [Japanese sex toys] onto them as soon as the roasty mom dies of a drug overdose

How exactly do you “secretly” pass along used sex toys to your sons? Leave them in a little bag by the front door with a note? Do you include the squirt bottle you and Chad used to get her pregnant?

Euuuughhhh.

And thus ends today’s episode of Incel Life Hacks.

H/T — @EXPELincels on Twitter

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 months ago

Oh, and pay cash for anything: motel, if you take a bus or subway, etc. — can’t be tracked by the hypothetical mole in law enforcement. Movement by bus and subway paying cash should be completely anonymous.

If you have to make an ATM withdrawal for all of that, do it close to home rather than close to your destination, so the location of the withdrawal doesn’t give them any useful clue, and make sure to get enough to cover every expense you expect, and some margin for error. You don’t want to have to make another withdrawal when it might give away your location. Most ATMs are limited to $500 per withdrawal but a bit of public transit travel and a one night motel stay should be well under that limit.

Lainy
Lainy
2 months ago

@Calmdown

I’m glad your safe and as someone who has a stalker, I can tell you it’s very easy for our brains to trick us. What I mean by that is we want to feel safe and secure. So when something happens that is outside our retee we try to downplay it by saying “oh maybe I’m just being paranoids” But most of the time, it’s better to listen to that little voice in you that says “danger” even if you have an anxiety disorder. It’s better to go somewhere, that is safe, that feels safe, surrounded by people who are safe, then to just keep to our lives like nothing is happening. Even if you are just truly being paranoid. Even if your brain is just picking up on things that aren’t really there, it’s important to be safe, so I think you made the right call.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 months ago

@ calmdown

Glad you’re ok now.

And as others have said, alway trust your instinct. If you feel unsafe then, until proof otherwise, use that as a working assumption for planning your responses.

Don’t need to tell anyone here about how women especially can end up socialised to override the warning signals for fear of ‘not making a fuss’ or looking ‘paranoid’.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
2 months ago

@calmdown

So glad you’re okay! Stay safe.

Brazilian Sigma
Brazilian Sigma
2 months ago

Suggestion about incels https://fstdt.com/G2Q6KM3.GVWW6

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 months ago

Has anyone braved this opaque URL from a non-regular to see what it was?

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 months ago

@Surplus
It’s a link to Fundies Say The Darndest Things, a website that tracks ridiculous or otherwise false things said by religious fundamentalists and other peddlers of bullshit online. In this case, the link goes to an entry about incels talking about how their mothers shouldn’t have been able to vote.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 months ago

Oh.

Friendly Neighborhood Incel
Friendly Neighborhood Incel
2 months ago

Another kook (probably a normie larping as an incel) just to make incels look bad.

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 months ago

@FNI

Another kook (probably a normie larping as an incel) just to make incels look bad.

[citation needed]
https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/No_True_Scotsman

Trust me, incels don’t need help to look bad, they do a good enough job of that on their own.

Lainy
Lainy
2 months ago

@Incel

You do a pretty good job of that on your own since you think I shouldn’t be able to choose my husband