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Small Dick Energy: Reddit hero stands up for the unwell-endowed

Not everyone has a huge wiener

By David Futrelle

I usually write about the sorts of guys who, let’s face it, society could do with less of. Today, I want to highlight an example of the kind of guy we could use more of — because he’s happy having less of a certain item that too many men see as synonymous with masculinity: the dick.

Today, this brave soldier in the dick wars put up a post in Reddit’s UnpopularOpinion subreddit declaring, nakedly but unashamed, that he actually likes that his rod is smaller than average.

I like having a small dick. (self.unpopularopinion)

submitted 5 hours ago by AlterEagle202

For ages I’ve heard nonstop jokes in media, on the internet, and from others that make it seem like having a small penis is somehow a death sentence or makes for some unbearable existence. I disagree. I have what I’d take to be a rather small member, probably no more than 4 inches when erect, and when flaccid, I get that epic Greek statue look. The thing is, I’ve never once worried about my dick size the way society tells me I should. Some of the strongest primates in the animal kingdom have small dicks, and they’re doing just fine. Also, being insecure about something that pretty much no one will see on a daily basis just seems silly to me.

Bravo for having such a healthy attitude towards Mr Johnson. The size of one’s penis has virtually no effect on the quality of the sex you have; small dicks can bring pleasure to both partners just as effectively as large dicks. And studies show that women overwhelmingly don’t care about penis size — indeed, they worry a lot less about it than men do.

All hail Small Dick Energy!

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Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

The plot thickens re: Allison Bailey. Her crowdfunder was shut down, because it seems that she was not in fact planning to sue but to file an employment tribunal, which is free (and not something that makes sense seeing as she is not employed by the group she is bringing it against). Since she is now still receiving donations directly, this means she is probably just pocketing the money. Unsurprising, but really does show what TERFs are truly like, seeing as she is far from the first to do this.

Tovius
Tovius
4 years ago

You need to be careful with posts like this, Dave: you might bring Walter out of hiding.

Catalpa
Catalpa
4 years ago

As far as I know, Walter got banned after thoroughly wearing out his welcome. And his schtick is pretty damning recognizable, so I expect we’d be able to strike down any sockpuppets pretty quickly.

Kevin
Kevin
4 years ago

Re: Checking out animal genitalia, a bull or stallion is more likely to be difficult for a farmer or a groom to handle than a steer or gelding might be. There’s a sound reason why a mediaeval knight’s war horse would be a stallion.

TacticalProgressive
TacticalProgressive
4 years ago

@An Autistic Giraffe

If someone on youtube claims that they invented a UV light that cures COVID-19 and makes money off this, that means they were telling the truth because if they were lying nobody would believe them.

This may be my inner snark coming out, but to folks such as that: one of my go to responses after deconstructing the flaws of their logic: is asking them to tell me about Kittens on Mars; in order to juxtapose and illustrate how absurd their position is.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
4 years ago

@Catalpa

And [Walter’s] schtick is pretty damning recognizable, so I expect we’d be able to strike down any sockpuppets pretty quickly.

If he hadn’t talked about his shtick so much, we might indeed have some doubts whether the underfilled sock is the same one.

JanHug222
JanHug222
4 years ago

I have never understood the fascination with a huge penis, I’ve witnessed it from both men and women, it really needs to be called out more.

Especially when I’ve come to the conclusion that the larger the penis, the less effort/energy is put in. Is that just me? I’m not meaning to offend the more endowed gentleman around, but that’s just my experience.

I actually had this conversation with a guy a few days ago, he experienced a lot of shame with his own.. Erm.. Member. He realised in adulthood that actually he has a perfectly normal penis after opening up to his partner, they both put it down to porn giving him a warped view of what size a penis should be. Ah porn, the culprit of many warped and deranged views of sex, how people should look, act and sound during… I do wish it was inaccessible to still developing minds.

I’m really glad this guys able to be happy in himself and not let societys wierd standards effect him.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
4 years ago

Regarding height:
I’ll always remember comments from Andre the Giant in interviews about how difficult it was for him to deal with things that shorter people took for granted. Like riding in vehicles. For that matter, there’s always Anna Bates (née Swan), the Canadian 7’11” giantess who toured with P.T. Barnum for years as part of his show; she and her husband (who was the giant in the circus) got a house and furniture made for themselves that was custom-built to be comfortable to two people in the over-seven-foot range.

(They could afford it; P.T.Barnum may have been problematic in some ways, but he knew the advantages of keeping his star acts happy.)

@Alan Robertshaw:
I’ll admit my first thought on that was ‘why is CSIS writing an article on U.S. policy?’ CSIS also standing for the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service up here. (An organization that’s more recent than most of its foreign counterparts, as it previously used to be part of the RCMP until the 1980s when internal abuses caused them to be separated into a different and more directly government-overseen agency.)

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
4 years ago

We share the world’s longest undefended border with the US. Of course our security services are going to be interested in what’s going on down there, including sources of domestic unrest, because it could very easily spill north over the border and become our problem too, even before taking into consideration the possibility of deliberate interference in Canadian affairs (e.g., whatever shadowy forces are backing right-wing propaganda outlets like Rebel Media).

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ surplus

Are you familiar with War Plan Red? It’s interesting history. Hopefully will stay history.

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
4 years ago

@Jenora:

For that matter, there’s always Anna Bates (née Swan), the Canadian 7’11” giantess who toured with P.T. Barnum for years as part of his show; she and her husband (who was the giant in the circus) got a house and furniture made for themselves that was custom-built to be comfortable to two people in the over-seven-foot range.

IIRC Anna taught Sunday school at their local church after retiring from show business. I’ve always wondered what it would have been like to be a kid hearing the story of David and Goliath from a literal giant.