By David Futrelle
The newly-minted Christian moralist Roosh V spent many years of his life immersed in a lifestyle that one can only call depraved — using a crude and predatory version of “pickup artistry” that at times seems to have been indistinguishable from rape to “score” with women; he wrote a series of books teaching other men how to do the same.
Now he’s turned his back on his old ways. Not, it seems, because he recognizes the real harm he did to his victims, but because he’s now convinced that “heterosexual fornication,” as he puts it, is too gay.
No, really. In a post on his blog last week, Roosh spelled out his, er, logic.
At a time in my life when I was attacking homosexuals for their degenerate fornication lifestyle, I was participating in a degenerate fornication lifestyle. Outside of the difference that they had sex with men and I had sex with women, our lifestyles, moral outlook, and approach to intimacy were almost identical. I may not have been a homosexual by definition, but I was a homosexual in spirit.
Roosh, in true clickbait style, then lays out 15 reasons that fornicators of the heterosexual variety are acting the same as fornicators of the homosexual variety. And it doesn’t take long to see that the actual behavior of gay men doesn’t really have anything to do with any of this: he’s simply taken his own bad behavior as a pickup artist and projected it onto gays and their, ahem, “doo-doo lifestyle.”
He declares that male “fornicators” use “drugs or alcohol” to “seal the deal” with their would-be conquests.
All potential sexual prospects for the night are plied with drink or pills to get them in a heightened state of lust, and then at the peak moment of attraction, an attempt is made to move to a private bedroom (or bathroom) to complete a sex act. If you’re an active fornicator, I can just about guarantee that you have never slept with a woman for the first time without the aid of a psychoactive substance.
Speak for yourself, you date-rapey creep.
Actually, he has already spoken for himself — specifically, in his book Bang Iceland, where he confessed to having sex with a woman so inebriated that “[i]n America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she couldn’t legally give her consent.”
(Guess what, dude; they have those same laws in Iceland, too. You. Raped. Her.)
The rest of the post is made up with similar half-confessions, alongside brief rants on things Roosh finds distasteful (anal sex, abortion, personal grooming). Apparently the only form of acceptable sex to Roosh these days is the old-fashioned penis-in-vagina variety. “A human mouth is not a place to put a penis,” he explains at one point.
An anus is not a place to put a penis. Your mouth is not intended to slurp up a vagina or anus. … When you’re addicted to gaining physical pleasure, you have to get creative in vile and disease-causing ways just for a little extra shot of pleasure.
He excoriates both straight and gay men who have sex without condoms, assuming that this is pretty much universal behavior.
The ones who say they “always use condoms” are not being honest, because once you hear details of their sexual encounters, you’ll see that they use condoms only when a woman forces them to, or when one puts out severe warning signs like having a facial tattoo, but even then, many men hope they can fornicate without protection.
Roosh is again assuming that his behavior in his “pickup artist” years — when he was obsessed with “raw dogging” — matches the behavior of all other “fornicators.” (Sadly, it does match most American Fornicators)
Roosh goes on to charge both straight and gay men with having “sex with partners they have no feelings for.” This time he uses an example from his own life rather than simply projecting his experiences onto others.
Many times I would dance like a monkey for a girl I didn’t like, to entertain her and maintain her attraction, just so I can access her hole and have an orgasm. … Through fornication, both gay and straight stop viewing human beings as human, but as vessels to a sex act that is barely more intimate than masturbation, and any means will justify that end.
Well, yes, if you’re a manipulative shithead who insists on having sex with people you hate … there’s a pretty good chance that no one is going to have a good time.
As a new convert to Orthdox Chistianity, Roosh makes sure to mention God and his basement-dwelling friend, denouncing the allegedly “Satanic” consequences of the sexual revolution that gave Roosh his career as a (very bad) writer in the first place.
He ends with this uplifting passage from the Book of Roosh.
A society of homosexual fornicators, flaunting their behavior in public, can’t be achieved without first having a society of heterosexual fornicators. Both go hand in hand to divide and destroy both sexes while preventing the creation of families. More severely, fornication separates you from God and destroys your soul, one casual hook-up at a time. It pains me to think of how deceived I was to partake in this evil for so long.
Dude, it’s actually a good thing that you feel guilty about what you did. But you’re not feeling guilty over the right thing. It’s not (consensual) fornication that’s the problem; it’s the rapes that you so casually confessed to in your dating guides date-rape manuals.
Your God may forgive you for that, but we won’t.
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Considering his refusal to wipe his own ass, I’m not at all surprised that Roosh finds the thought of anal sex distasteful.
Poor thing, it’ll starve. There’s nothing in there.
This is almost on the verge of a breakthrough. He almost sounds like he’s realizing that gay people have much in common with him and shouldn’t be his enemies. Then we remember that this is Roosh and of course he doesn’t actually realize that and is just as much of a homophobic dirtbag as he was before.
Even without laws, violating a person sexually is rape. Of course, Roosh doesn’t recognize that because that would require a conscience.
Hands are not “intended” to type on a keyboard. Yet that doesn’t stop us from using keyboards. What a body part evolved to do does not limit what it can do.
Telling on himself again.
My theory is that now that Roosh is in his 40s, he’s having a bit of a midlife crisis, as he’s gotten tired of random hookups and realizes he can’t keep living as a pickup artist. So, searching for a new form of misogyny, he’s fallen into the deep end of religion.
Go Skoptsy, Roosh.
I’m pretty sure most gay men aren’t rapey assholes, Roosh. Stop projecting.
…. Maybe there’s a use of this term that I’m unaware of, but in my experience, “to slurp up” implies that you consume whatever you’ve slurped up. You know, like soup, or a slushie. And I would certainly hope that people’s mouths are not intended to ingest anuses and vaginas. That’s more than a little cannibal-y.
@Catalpa
I’ve heard “slurp” used in reference to oral sex (similar to how “eat” is used despite not literally eating the vagina or anus), but then again Roosh doesn’t sound like someone who would know anything about cunnilingus or anilingus.
TW: sexual violence
There was also at least one serial killer who cut out the vaginas of sex workers and ate them, but I also doubt that’s what Roosh is referring to.
I’ve maintaned for a long time that while religion can sometimes save you, most of the time it amplifies you. If you’re a good person, religion can make you an even more wonderful person. If you’re a piece of crap, religion can make you even worse.
To paraphrase Slacktivist, just consider the tale of two Freds. Fred Rogers + religion = one of the most genuinely wonderful people ever, and Fred Phelps + religion = one of the most horrid individuals ever.
“Slurp”, sure. “Slurp at”, yeah, that makes sense. But “slurp up”? That just sounds odd. I dunno, maybe I’m just being nitpicky.
And because at that age being a pickup artist makes you look increasingly like a stereotypical “dirty old man” in a way that even put culture struggles to justify.
Lol. But I have heard it used in erotica, [tmi]basically in reference to “slurping” up sex juices.[/tmi] Maybe that will be Roosh’s next job after religious crank, erotic fanfiction writer?
Notice how he said you shouldn’t put your mouth on a vagina or anus but he said nothing about putting a penis in a mouth.
I always need to lighten my mood after reading about Roosh the Rapist’s output. Today I’ll do that by delving into literature and offering a house point to anyone who can name the fictional bank that ran guided tours of its basement to view the ‘fine fornication’ there. I’m pretty sure there are Mammotheers who know this.
Roosh unintentionally recreated a medieval theological belief! See, medieval scholars condemned “sodomy,” which is the term they used for all non-procreative sex. So straight couples can be sodomites, as long as they are having something other than piv sex or are taking steps to not get pregnant. More info here:
https://going-medieval.com/2019/08/16/thats-not-what-sodomy-is-but-ok/
Honestly this nonsense just reminds me of what The Lonely Islands ‘Spring Break Anthem’ mocks.
@Moogue
I certainly hope not, if for no other reason than Dave would have to cover it, and he doesn’t deserve that.
@Kevin, it’s the bank of Ankh-Morpork, as taken over by Moist at Vetinari’s behest (vaulted ceilings in the basement where the Glooper is later installed).
Do I get the house point? 🙂
And yes, much more palatable than Roosh (as indeed are most things … :-/ )
I like to think he means this literally, as in a facial tattoo which reads “no condom = no sex”.
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Oh good, now Roosh is into guns. Big, fancy, kills-lots-of-victims guns. And are those children’s toys I see in the background. Roosh, you have no children. You’re not protecting your family. Maybe take up stamp collecting?
@Kevin
Mrs Lavish would chop Roosh up and feed the remains to Mr Fusspot for his supper.
Oops, the first paragraph of my preceding post is a quote from an ad on Roosh’s blog. That ad is of course for Roosh’s blog.
Here’s the URL for Roosh’s new blog, where you can view the pic of him defending his phantom family:
https://archive.vn/WIC4i
@Naglfar
Totally agree! I remember poking around Return of Kings a couple of years ago (god knows why I do this to myself) and he’d written a post about how, in his late thirties, women in their early twenties simply weren’t interested in him anymore on nights out – they just thought he was a sad old man. It was hilarious and tragic, as he grappled with the idea that maybe men don’t all age like fine wine, becoming ever more powerful and attractive in their seductive powers well into their fifties, and he wanted to warn his readers that this red pill staple might not be as true as he once thought.
After that, in a moment of “even Roosh has a limited form of humanity left in his husk of a brain”, I think losing his sister to cancer pushed him into full religious fanaticism. Although he seems to have missed the bit where you are meant to be kind and forgiving.
I’m sick of this guy – every time I see him mentioned here I want to do something that is against the terms of this website. It’s already bad enough for me to see that mainstream religion already stigmatizes even consensual sex between two adults outside of marriage, in addition to the homophobia, where homosexuality and adultery are actually fucking illegal in a number of countries worldwide still.
I prefer to not be associated with religion but considering I came from the Philippines, being uninvolved with religion can be sometimes seen as worse than being a Muslim in the Christian-majority nation (could be different but I don’t know). “Fornication” and homosexuality aren’t illegal in the Philippines but contraceptives are difficult to access and discouraged for use I think, abortion remains illegal and religious influence in daily life remains quite high.
I live in the UK which is far more permissive with regards to sexuality and gender even among more religious folk, but racist fucks would like to see me and my family go back to the Philippines someday just because, even though I’m a naturalized British citizen only. I’ve changed too much from people of my birth nation to really want to.
Every time I see the name “Roosh V” I am terrified that there might be four more of him.
@Moogue
Please no, there’s enough terrible erotica in the world already.
(Though the existence of Chuck Tingle somewhat makes up for it).
@Lainy
He did say that “A human mouth is not a place to put a penis,” though since he previously has praised blowjobs I’m not sure whether he actually thinks this.
@Mrs Obed Marsh
It’s possible that this is also the Armenian Apostolic Church definition, seeing as Roosh has joined that church.
@Kat
I shudder to think what the “invigorating” memes are. Maybe David could do a post mocking them?
@LollyPop
That is one of the more ridiculous red pill ideas about men. Sure, there are older men who still look good and/or maintain active sex lives, but the idea of 20 year old women falling over for 50 year old men is just not the case for most. I understand Roosh’s crisis, I just wish he’d taken it as an opportunity for self improvement rather than this.
People ran the number on his public hookups (the weird obsession they have with documenting everything comes back and bites them in the ass) and he didn’t get laid that often, and considering the huge amount of money he spend on traveling to places, then standing around in bars, and well basically not enjoying anything, he would have had a better life if he just had spend his time working 40 hours a week, and hiring sex workers, and going on vacations. (Not that this is a solution, as his womanhating just puts sex workers at risk).
It is just sad. (And he also just lies in his books about his success rate in the books he claims ‘success’ with 1 in 3 women he approaches).
@Ledasmom
Same here.