Is heterosexuality gay? A confused Roosh V ponders the question

By David Futrelle

The newly-minted Christian moralist Roosh V spent many years of his life immersed in a lifestyle that one can only call depraved — using a crude and predatory version of “pickup artistry” that at times seems to have been indistinguishable from rape to “score” with women; he wrote a series of books teaching other men how to do the same.

Now he’s turned his back on his old ways. Not, it seems, because he recognizes the real harm he did to his victims, but because he’s now convinced that “heterosexual fornication,” as he puts it, is too gay.

No, really. In a post on his blog last week, Roosh spelled out his, er, logic.

At a time in my life when I was attacking homosexuals for their degenerate fornication lifestyle, I was participating in a degenerate fornication lifestyle. Outside of the difference that they had sex with men and I had sex with women, our lifestyles, moral outlook, and approach to intimacy were almost identical. I may not have been a homosexual by definition, but I was a homosexual in spirit.

Roosh, in true clickbait style, then lays out 15 reasons that fornicators of the heterosexual variety are acting the same as fornicators of the homosexual variety. And it doesn’t take long to see that the actual behavior of gay men doesn’t really have anything to do with any of this: he’s simply taken his own bad behavior as a pickup artist and projected it onto gays and their, ahem, “doo-doo lifestyle.”

He declares that male “fornicators” use “drugs or alcohol” to “seal the deal” with their would-be conquests.

All potential sexual prospects for the night are plied with drink or pills to get them in a heightened state of lust, and then at the peak moment of attraction, an attempt is made to move to a private bedroom (or bathroom) to complete a sex act. If you’re an active fornicator, I can just about guarantee that you have never slept with a woman for the first time without the aid of a psychoactive substance.

Speak for yourself, you date-rapey creep.

Actually, he has already spoken for himself — specifically, in his book Bang Iceland, where he confessed to having sex with a woman so inebriated that “[i]n America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she couldn’t legally give her consent.”

(Guess what, dude; they have those same laws in Iceland, too. You. Raped. Her.) 

The rest of the post is made up with similar half-confessions, alongside brief rants on things Roosh finds distasteful (anal sex, abortion, personal grooming). Apparently the only form of acceptable sex to Roosh these days is the old-fashioned penis-in-vagina variety. “A human mouth is not a place to put a penis,” he explains at one point.

An anus is not a place to put a penis. Your mouth is not intended to slurp up a vagina or anus. … When you’re addicted to gaining physical pleasure, you have to get creative in vile and disease-causing ways just for a little extra shot of pleasure.

He excoriates both straight and gay men who have sex without condoms, assuming that this is pretty much universal behavior.

The ones who say they “always use condoms” are not being honest, because once you hear details of their sexual encounters, you’ll see that they use condoms only when a woman forces them to, or when one puts out severe warning signs like having a facial tattoo, but even then, many men hope they can fornicate without protection.

Roosh is again assuming that his behavior in his “pickup artist” years — when he was obsessed with “raw dogging” — matches the behavior of all other “fornicators.” (Sadly, it does match most American Fornicators)

Roosh goes on to charge both straight and gay men with having “sex with partners they have no feelings for.” This time he uses an example from his own life rather than simply projecting his experiences onto others.

Many times I would dance like a monkey for a girl I didn’t like, to entertain her and maintain her attraction, just so I can access her hole and have an orgasm. … Through fornication, both gay and straight stop viewing human beings as human, but as vessels to a sex act that is barely more intimate than masturbation, and any means will justify that end.

Well, yes, if you’re a manipulative shithead who insists on having sex with people you hate … there’s a pretty good chance that no one is going to have a good time.

As a new convert to Orthdox Chistianity, Roosh makes sure to mention God and his basement-dwelling friend, denouncing the allegedly “Satanic” consequences of the sexual revolution that gave Roosh his career as a (very bad) writer in the first place.

He ends with this uplifting passage from the Book of Roosh.

A society of homosexual fornicators, flaunting their behavior in public, can’t be achieved without first having a society of heterosexual fornicators. Both go hand in hand to divide and destroy both sexes while preventing the creation of families. More severely, fornication separates you from God and destroys your soul, one casual hook-up at a time. It pains me to think of how deceived I was to partake in this evil for so long.

Dude, it’s actually a good thing that you feel guilty about what you did. But you’re not feeling guilty over the right thing. It’s not (consensual) fornication that’s the problem; it’s the rapes that you so casually confessed to in your dating guides date-rape manuals.

Your God may forgive you for that, but we won’t.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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