By David Futrelle
It can be hard to date when your hate gets in the way — and even more so when the people you’re most attracted to turn out to be the very same people you spend your life hating the most.
Consider a recent thread in the so-called Gender Critical subreddit — Reddit’s main hub for TERFs — in which lesbians and straight women alike confessed their love for “gender benders” of all sorts, from “cute” enbys (non-binary people) to literal men in dresses. It’s almost as if they have some sort of — dare I say it? — fetish?
“It feels like half the lesbians i find cute identify as some flavor of trans,” laments a commenter called leifteim.
it’s so annoying because it’s hard enough to date as a lesbian as it is without nonsense politics eroding our community
Someone called mouse-and-mouse agrees:
Every time I see a cute girl on a dating app she ends up being an “enby”
“Same here,” agrees –backdrifter.
So many of the lesbians I find attractive in my age group turn out to have a “gender identity” or “they/them” pronouns. It’s definitely discouraging when our dating pool is already so small, like you’re saying. It feels like there’s just so much bullshit to wade through when trying to date now.
The world’s smallest violin strikes up a tune.
Meanwhile, assorted straight GenderCrit women confess their love and, perhaps more to the point, their lust for gender bending guys rocking “guyliner” and sometimes even dresses. Just so long as they identify as men. There are mentions of glammy musicians from David Bowie to Trent Reznor to the guys in Motley Crue. There are several mentions of Irish actor Robert Sheehan, of whom one commenter writes, “I want him to fuck me in eyeliner and a dress lmfao”
“My bf wears eyeliner, glitter, sparkly tank tops, and and colorful leggings to parties,” writes mouse_and_mouse,
and I think it’s super hot and awesome. And he … very much identifies as a man (he finds the whole trans thing too weird to even contemplate).
GCnewb feels the same way about her crossdressing Nigel:
I love it when my husband wears dresses and other clothes that are flattering on him. (We’re a couple of goths.) If he started wearing fake boobs, acting like a male stereotype of a “woman” or trying to get in women’s spaces I would be revolted.
“I’m bi,” writes crustdrunk.
and both sexes gender bending is a hard swoon from me, especially if they have the confidence required to do so without inventing magical genders.
And so what if they do “invent a magical gender?” I mean, if you’re attracted to them, you’re attracted to them. What does it matter whether they call themselves male, female, or something else? What does it matter if their self-identification matches the gender they were assigned at birth or not? What difference does it make to you if a person you call a “man in a dress” calls themselves a man or a woman or neither?
What would be the problem if one of GenderCrit Reddit’s proud lesbians were to date one of those “cute girls” who identifies as nonbinary? Or if GCnewb’s dress-wearing hubby were to come out as trans?
Might it inspire some GenderCrits to reexamine their views of gender — and possibly even of their own sexuality? Or would they refuse this sort of self-examination, much like the (fictional) gentleman who wrote the famous Onion article “Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?“
For now, it looks like the GenderCrits are going to continue to traverse this second route. Shame.
H/T — r/GenderCynical
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