By David Futrelle
Fellow penis-havers and potential semen retainers! The resaon you find it so difficult to refrain from cranking your hog is *checks notes* WITCHES!
Damn those Kardashians and their witchy ways!
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As in, Gwyneth Paltrow candles?
Witches, they’re everywhere, on the streets, in the cupboards and even on the internet. Some say they are even witches amongst us.
(This might be a bit Brit-centric)
It’s that darned Mrs. Stephens up to something strange again!
Ah yes. The Bible. Which has absolutely nothing to do with Judaism.
A lot of mistakes in very few sentences.
1) The Ancient Hebrews were patriarchal.
2) The Bible is the Hebrew holy book.
3) It’s Wiccan not Wicken.
4) Gardnerian Wiccan, the eldest coven and founder of the movement, is patriarchal. Other forms of Wiccan arre gender equal and Dianic Wiccan is indeed misandrist (and also transmysoginist).
5) According to most theologians of abrahamic faiths, the greatest obstacle between man and God is pride not lust.
6) lust is a sin commited in the mind as much as in the body. If one obsesses over sexual denial and over the power of that denial, that person is making a sin of lust.
This reads like someone skimmed a Kabbalah primer and then skimmed the Book of Revelations and tried to combine the two while totally missing the point of either.
I can’t tell if he’s trying to say that Jewish witches are the problem or if Jews and witches are separate but both matrilineal. If the former, I’m a Jewish woman and I have a penis, so I’m not sure what this means for my prospects as a witch.
I’m also pretty sure the Kardashians aren’t Jewish, so that’s just odd.
@ naglfar
I don’t know about any individual family members’ religious beliefs, or even if they have any such beliefs at all, but the Kardashian family in Armenia were Spiritual Christians.
Armenians aren’t super-Aryan looking (see also Anita Sarkeesian) therefore, they are Jewish. That’s just science!
@WWTH
Anita Sarkeesian has been called out by GamerGaters as secretly Jewish and caricatured as such, so that wouldn’t be the first time fascists have compared the two.
In reality there are a few similarities I can think of between Jews and Armenians, like that both have historically been persecuted in many countries, were the victims of genocides, and have historically lives as diasporas. Not that that makes the Kardashians Jewish or justifies the antisemitism, but interesting to note.
Sounds like somebody mistook this for a documentary again:
@ naglfar
Indeed, and Hitler specifically cited the Armenian genocide as an inspiration.
I do find it a bit ironic that so many progressives today are happily on board with ‘The Young Turks‘.
In 100 years time maybe people will be saying “Hey, check out the Proud Boys!”
@Alan Robertshaw
Then it will have all come full circle, seeing as the Proud Boys were named after a running gag on Gavin McInnes’s podcast.
The only Babylons that are still relevant are Kenneth Anger’s “Hollywood Babylon” and J. Michael Straczynski’s “Babylon 5.”
@ naglfar
I guess that’s appropriate as even the word Nazi derived from a joke.
[BTW, sorry, I edited the years in my first post as I realised I’d got my maths wrong.]
@Justin Campbell: Maybe also Pat Frank’s Alas, Babylon.
I don’t want to cause controversy or anything, but have the semen retainers considered that maybe why they are tempted to have orgasms is because they enjoy orgasms? There are a lot of people who think orgasms feel good. Anyways that’s my hot take; I hope it’s not too out there.
@Alan
“Progressives”. They were the dirtbag left before that was a thing, and Cenk Fucking Ughyr is a genocide denier.
@Naglfar
Both groups are stereotyped as having large, beaky noses, olive skin, and curly dark hair. These guys have an idea in their heads of what Jewish people look like, and a fair number of Armenians roughly match it, so any prominent Armenian is likely to catch antisemitic shit.
@Justin Campbell
Because it so easily got large numbers of people to believe blatant lies?
Mr. Morden would only have needed ask Trump “What do you want?” once and he would have the greatest servant of the Shadows ever, utterly convinced that he was conning Morden and his “associates.”
@Viscaria
Indeed, and I would say people who enjoy orgasms should enjoy them guilt free. I feel like the semen retainers would be better off if they just accepted that it’s okay to masturbate and have sex and that semen isn’t going to make them superheroes.
That was a very hot take, I apologize for anyone who got burned.
Last year he finally recanted and apologized for that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Xib49Opls0
I still can’t stand the guy, but it’s nice to see someone make progress.
I think he’s confused because modern Judaism is matrilineal (with in most streams), solely in terms of determining Jewish status, but descent was patrilineal up to the Romans or thereabouts, and status as a Cohen or Levi is still patrilineal.
OK, mostly I think he’s just confused.
@Naglfar:
The point of the latter was “Nero is evil and Rome will soon fall”, as I recall. Which means anyone making a big fuss about it is probably busily still waiting for an apocalypse that happened 1500 years ago.
@WWTH:
Well, except that Hitler’s concept of “Aryan” (basically, tall blonde Swede) was wrong. Here are some actual Aryans, i.e. Indo-Iranian in ancestry:
Funnily enough, they actually do look a bit like Anita Sarkeesian. Both Jews and Armenians are probably more closely related to (real, actual) Aryans than tall, blonde Swedes are, since their historical homelands are quite close to Iran. Whose name, incidentally, shares the same etymological root as the word “Aryan”.
You can’t swing a dead cat around fascists without hitting something they got really, seriously ironically wrong.
Shit, guys there on to us. Their going to alert the church if we’re not careful.
@Podkayne Lives
In theory it does work that way, but in the modern day it’s mainly fundamentalists that would be insistent on that basis. In practice most modern Jews would accept either having a Jewish mother or a Jewish father as making someone Jewish.