By David Futrelle
If you’ve been reading this blog for long, you probably know how terrified many manospherians are of getting spermjacked — that is, having some woman they’ve just had sex with fishing their used condoms out of the trash and using the sperm to impregnate herself so she can live the high life off of the sweet child support cash.
So you also know that these guys often share tips on how to avoid this dire fate — by flushing the condoms down the toilet, for example, or by squirting a bit of tabasco sauce into them. (Some dedicated anti-spermjackers claim to carry tabasco sauce with them at all times in case sex suddenly breaks out.)
But this isn’t enough for some wary men. In a discussion today in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, one commenter suggested microwaving used condoms “so she doesnt hit you with the dumpster dive baby.”
But another commenter by the name of fmanly isn’t sure this would be enough.
Honestly, I’m not sure how effective a microwave would be for this purpose. It might just mess the DNA up just enough that you’ll be paying medical bills on top of the regular support.
Now, obviously if you heat it to boiling/etc that will probably kill the sperm, but the effects would be more thermal – putting it in boiling water would have the same effect.
I suspect a few seconds on high probably wouldn’t do much. Microwaves aren’t ionizing – they’re lower energy than visible light.
UV-C is another story if you can penetrate through everything (I’m sure the latex would absorb a lot of it though). Gamma rays are really the only way to be sure when it comes to EM sterilization – well, that or X-rays.
Now, I realize that fmanly here is probably making these last suggestions somewhat tongue-in-cheek. But on the off chance that one of his readers might take him seriously, I would like to strongly warn anyone contemplating this strategy: DO NOT PELT YOUR SPERM WITH GAMMA RAYS.
Because you know where that can lead:
You’ve been warned.
Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.
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