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Tall men “make short roasties’ holes quiver with the thought of eradicating short men” and other insights from Twitter’s Daily Blackpill

Shaq and then-girlfriend Nicole Alexander genociding short men

By David Futrelle

The fellow who runs the Daily Blackpill account on Twitter is the very model of a modern incel — bitter, angry, hopelessly confused, and probably a few inches short of 6 feet tall. He hates Jews, “roasties,” Chad, and men taller than him.

And he’s not just mad at tall men for scoring with the women he’d like to be scoring with. No, he’s convinced that tall men are not-so-secretly working with, er, roasties of all sizes to eliminate short men from the gene pool.

https://twitter.com/pill_dog/status/1247976299924090880

See, because when “tallfags” mate with short “roasties,” their children will all be tall, I guess? At least in his version of genetics.

Daily Redpill is sort of obsessed with “breeding,” though his opinions on the subject, while strong, are helplessly muddled and self-contradictory. He’s mad at Teh Jews — or, as he puts it, (((They))) — for supposedly pushing population reduction, but he also thinks it’s ludicrous for any man to father children in this allegedly gynocentric times.

https://twitter.com/pill_dog/status/1232159141600387077

He complains that short and ugly men — or at least men who think they’re short and ugly — can’t find women who want to date them, much less have children together. But he’s outraged when he sees “low value” men in relationships with women he sees as out of their league.

https://twitter.com/pill_dog/status/1231701715281436673

And he’s also outraged that women he considers ugly are having children.

https://twitter.com/pill_dog/status/1257013136336404482

He thinks that “short jokes” justify mass murder.

https://twitter.com/pill_dog/status/1256051999356805120

Here he seems to come dangerously close to justifying violent rape for “scientific” reasons:

https://twitter.com/pill_dog/status/1253521216561799169

Adding to the long list of qualities that would make him an exceptionally un-fun date, he also thinks women are “repulsive” for wanting oral sex.

https://twitter.com/pill_dog/status/1212967738068602880

He thinks “white knights” go around killing other men who disrespect women, concluding that “[e]mpathy towards females has caused murders too numerous to count.”

https://twitter.com/pill_dog/status/1232100365778157570

Some of his takes are rather original; he thinks the government should supply girlfriends to incels to … protect them from dying in traffic accidents due to their own reckless stupidity..

https://twitter.com/pill_dog/status/1203102635781345280

A consummate incel, he celebrated last Christmas by Tweeting out a picture of incel spree killer Elliot Rodger.

https://twitter.com/pill_dog/status/1209637269662912512

So hard to figure out why no woman wants to date him.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 months ago

@ dormousing_it

Just how hard is it to fasten your seatbelt, anyway?

Bit of movie trivia which you probably all know anyway.

Remember in Jurassic Park when they’re on the helicopter and Malcolm can’t fasten his seatbelt because he’s got the two female ends of the straps. So he just mates them by tying them together thus finding a way.

Nice bit of foreshadowing I think for later with that “the dinosaurs can’t breed they’re all female” bit.

Prith kDar
Prith kDar
5 months ago

For those wondering:

JFL = usually Just For Laughs, though in his usage, probably Just Finished Laughing (at)

JBW = Just Being White

noodle = many, many defs, but here I’m sure he means an Asian woman (it’s not a sex specific slur though). The Chad stole the noodle which rightfully belonged with either the currycel or his JBW self, so he feels hopeless.

Everyone knows GTFO, right?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 months ago

@Naglfar

But ya see, back in the good old days, every man got a wife so it wasn’t all Chads breeding. Then feminism came and now non-Chads can’t get a wife.
/SARCASM (But that’s an explanation I’ve seen them give before, even though it’s total BS)

Firstly, “feminism” as they mean it happened around the 1960s, which is literally 50 – 60 years ago. Incels are generally teenagers and early-twenties. So they are definitely the product of Chads if their worldview were to be accurate.

Secondly, if the “alpha fucks, beta bucks” model were to be correct, then women would be out fucking “alphas” regardless of their marriage vows. All of human history would be a cavalcade of Chads fucking women married to beta providers, who then raise the Chad-offspring as their own.

So their explanation is, yes, BS. I prefer a world of Chad as far as the eye can see, right?

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

Re: Chad

I saw this very wholesome take on the “Chad and Virgin” memes, you may have already seen it but I thought it was worth sharing:
comment image

Cats In Shiny Hats
Cats In Shiny Hats
5 months ago

As I’ve mentioned in a couple of threads now, both my Someone and I are shorter than average (although he might be average for his ethnicity? Not sure, I know he’s the tallest of his family that I’ve met.)

I’ve also dated men over a foot taller than me. I prefer my Someone. We fit together well. He’s just right to snuggle my face into his shoulder. Best of all, height related, when we hug his back doesn’t hurt, leading to the “absently straightening up, hooking my chin and half strangling me” situation.

Perhaps my opinions extra don’t count to these people, though, because I’m Ace. I love my Someone very much, and I am happy to fulfill his desires, but I get exactly the same amount of “tinglies” from him as from every other person ever born. None.

freneticferret
freneticferret
5 months ago

Emerging from my hole in the wall to ask if anyone knows why ‘(((this)))’ is code for ‘teh Jews’ now? I’ve seen it on this blog a lot. Is there some ‘deeper’ meaning?

Anonymous
Anonymous
5 months ago

@freneticferret
Apparently it was first conceived of by the white nationalist blog The White Stuff to symbolize how the actions of Jews “echo[ed] throughout history”.

In one of those moments of irony, doxing by rival Neo-nazis revealed that the founder of said blog had a Jewish wife. Inconsistent and bigoted, what an amazing combo.

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

@freneticferret, Anonymous
It also is because on the site’s associated podcast whenever the names of Jews were mentioned there would be an echo effect. The parentheses are supposed to represent that.

freneticferret
freneticferret
5 months ago

@Anonymous, Naglfar
Ah, weird. Thanks!

An Impish Pepper
An Impish Pepper
5 months ago

Wasn’t there also an advantage of it being difficult to find people using them using search tools because the parentheses would typically be ignored? I think they used some wacky font at some point for that same reason.

epitome of incomprehensibility

Well, this Mr. Blackpill is a nice character. Saying that a woman shouldn’t “breed” because she…has a couple of teeth that stick out? Huh?

But perhaps this reflects how the incels magnify their own perceived flaws. Maybe they just do that with everybody.

As for the height issue: I’m a bit shorter than average (5’3”) and my boyfriend a bit taller (about 6′). I’d prefer it if he were closer to my height – the only other man I really dated was my height exactly – but it’s not that important. (Relatively Short Guy and I broke up, mutually, because we didn’t communicate well. I didn’t dump him in search of someone taller.)

I’m sure the likes of Mr. Blackpill would say that’s just a foid’s hamster brain running (am I getting the lingo right?) but joke’s on them because I have a fully grown capybara up there. Size does matter when we’re talking imaginary brain rodents!

Monzach
Monzach
5 months ago

@Alan Robertshaw

Not to be “that guy” (oh, who am I kidding, this is entirely to be “that guy”), but it’s in fact Dr. Grant in that scene with the faulty seat belt. Just as it is Dr. Grant who finds the shards of a fresh dinosaur egg some time later. :O

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
5 months ago

@Policy of Madness
At least in the mothers’ day post* one incel explained the existence of incels with “low-quality” women breeding with chads, passing on their own inferior genes. I don’t think that’s a popular theory, though, since a lot of these people seem to think that boys always take after their fathers or that a father has a bigger impact on the “quality” of children.

* https://wehuntedthemammoth.com/2020/05/10/incels-offer-touching-mothers-day-tributes-to-all-the-whores-who-opened-their-legs/

occasional reader
occasional reader
5 months ago

> Ohlmann, Policy of Madness and Prith kDar
Thank you for the informations. Damn, it seems there is a lot of meaning for the “fag” term, then. Maybe it is another way to defend yourself when you are called out for a slur “No, i was meaning [insert here less insulting variant of the word]” ?

Anyway, all this stuff about short men seems to remind me of a song about them, but i can not put my finger on it. Oh well, no important.

Have a nice day.

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

@Epitome

Size does matter when we’re talking imaginary brain rodents!

Forget capybaras, I’ve got an ROUS up there.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 months ago

@ monzach

it’s in fact Dr. Grant

Ah thank you. I need to watch that film again. I loved it when it came out. And I miss Bob Peck.

@occasional reader

Anyway, all this stuff about short men seems to remind me of a song about them

Might it have been this one perchance?

Bit of music nerdery; this is the record company friendly version. The original version was explicitly called Short Dick Man and the lyric was a bit less subtle.

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
5 months ago

@Naglfar:

I’ve seen a quite a few Tumblr posts like that in which someone turns an unpleasant but common meme on its head and depicts “Becky” and “Stacey” as best friends or a couple, or the “not like other girls” getting along just fine with the “other girls” even if they have different tastes.

Also people posting videos of young men doing goofy but harmless stuff, like forming human pyramids, with the note “this is the kind of thing people *should* mean when they say ‘boys will be boys’” (mind you I suppose there’s no reason for women or NB people not to participate in those kind of shenanigans as well).

@Alan:

And I miss Bob Peck.

Me too – apparently he did a radio play in which he voiced Inspector Lohmann, from some of Fritz Lang’s pre-war crime films, coming into conflict with the Nazis? I’ve tried to find that for a year or so. And just this morning I learned he was one of the leads in a 1980s SF movie called Slipstream, which apparently flopped so badly in its initial release they never even tried to show it in North America, but it sounds worth seeing for the cast alone.

occasional reader
occasional reader
5 months ago

> Alan Robertshaw
Ah, indeed, that is the one i was thinking about ! Do not know about the original version you are speaking about, but according to what you say, that would have maybe please Walter. Oh well, all tastes are in the nature.

Nice week-end everyone !

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

@Moon Custafer
One I liked was this one that shows the cis and trans* characters of a popular TERF meme as a couple:
comment image

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
5 months ago

@Moon Custafer and @Naglfar

When I first became aware of Stacey cartoons I decided I would use the fact that my name actually is Stacey and that I look outwardly what misogynists, especially incels, think a woman “should” look like (as if they have any fucking right to think that) to mess with them because by acting like jerks that way they deserve that. I love being a Stacey. I love it that they can’t stand that I am. Like when a troll asks what I bring to the table by demanding a guy be hot if he wants to be more than friends like I don’t have same right as any of human being to have my desires but the awesome irony is that the troll only sees what I write here in one post but even the little bits I’ve shared with kind people here since I’ve been part of this awesome group would show that I have a life way beyond what they can even imagine. So I just take pride in thinking “Haha incel jerk” but because they are jerks not because of what they look like.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 months ago

my name actually is Stacey

Please tell your surname is actually smartypants…etc. But that in the real world it’s hyphenated.

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
5 months ago

@Alan

You’re funny 🙂 but you know there really of course is no way considering my life that I would say what my last name is here! I have a common last name but the reality is dangerous as you know.

I am a smartypants but only metaphorically though proud of that. I never wear pants in my regular life anymore. I’m in a bodysuit and tights all the time, outfits are always built around that, no skirt or pants. I always dreamed of being in a place in life where I could go out like that all the time and now because of friends and donors supporting my projects I will be able to once we are free of the pandemic. Only time anything is over that is if I’m cold going to and from wherever 🙂

One exception literally was to the bodysuit part of that I guess is that I have outfits where the base of the outfit is a bikini bottom (workout wear quality so it’s sturdier material since for me it more outerwear than most) and sports bra. On some occasions I want a look that’s kind of reminiscently athletic, like if I’m picking from a group of guys who want to be with me and I need to see how their bodies look moving and so on, so I’ll design an outfit like that with glossy tights that is like a modern version of a retro 80s base but with more up to date accessories and definitely not 80s hair for me! I put my hair in a ballet bun and do stage makeup for a date like that. 🙂 I do like the look of a belt with that outfit because I’ll be using my bullwhip and I like how I look carrying it with an outfit on that theme. But there are definitely no pants involved! 🙂 though I am still a smartypants 🙂

Full Metal Ox
5 months ago

@StaceySmartypants:

I have a common last name but the reality is dangerous as you know.

Conversely, I’m fairly sure I’m the only bearer of my combination of first and last name in the US…but I share it with someone with a track record of posting anti-immigrant vitriol on British political message boards: two reasons that I allow my real name and likeness nowhere near my social media.

Are you familiar with a PBS children’s show called Between the Lions? The following look isn’t exactly glamorous dommewear, but might amuse you:

http://youtu.be/ft53kxCxWAE

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
5 months ago

I loved that show when I came across it a few times. There’s an episode about the Sicilian puppet theatre in NYC that’s been staging serialized shows of Ariosto’s Orlando Furioso since the 1920s.

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

@Full Metal Ox
I think there’s at least a dozen people with my deadname + last name in the US because I checked once, but I don’t know how many people have my new first name and last name.

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
5 months ago

@Full Metal Ox

Are you familiar with a PBS children’s show called Between the Lions? The following look isn’t exactly glamorous dommewear, but might amuse you:

http://youtu.be/ft53kxCxWAE

That is SO cute, thank you for thinking to post that! I love that because even though it’s so *not* my aesthetic it’s so fun and heart just goes out to all the creativity that it took to make that and produce that. It’s wonderful. 🙂

I love being dominant and love designing my outfits though I don’t usually do the very traditional domme look with leather. Sometimes I do black vinyl; I have a black corset that works well with it. Mostly I like my athletic look as kind of a base because I feel really feminine and really powerful too. Plus in the back of my mind I used to love wearing my ballet leotard and tights when I was little and never wanted to take them off after class. 🙂

Because of how I normally dress I’ve had problems with guy friends before who are interested in me but who I’m not attracted to but I deal with that much better these days and don’t tolerate NiceGuy (TM) bullshit *at all*

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 months ago

@ stacey

As you like outfits this may interest you. We’ve got a Facebook group where people try to recreate famous artworks using only materials they have at home. Some of the outfits people have managed to cobble together are amazing. Some people are just so good it’s genuinely difficult to tell which is the original and which is the homage at first blush.

Although I also like the daft spoof ones.

Here if you want to check it out.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/224247218846890/

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
5 months ago

@Alan

What an interesting idea! I will check that out! Thank you!

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 months ago

I guess anything mammoth related is by definition on topic here.

Yet more mammoth bones found at that site in Mexico!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/22/mexico-city-mammoth-bones-found

We hunted the mammoth; to extinction by the looks of it.

Demonhype
Demonhype
5 months ago

Gid, they always amaze me! Its well known in my circle that I actually find excessive height not so attractive in men. I’m about 5’2”, and anything above about 5’5” is kind of upsetting and unappealing to me–but shorter than that is fine and even kind of adorable (and adorable is very attractive to me and to my mom, you should hear our sigh in unison whenever we see Michael J Fox). I’d literally be more likely to date a little person than a basketball player if it’s based on height alone! So the idea that i,as a woman,must only want men 6′ or taller is hilarious to me.

Of course, these particular short fellas are unappealing to me for reasons that have nothing to do with height. Fortunately, I am mature enough to not paint all short men everywhere with these assholes and their gross attitudes.

epitome of incomprehensibility

@Naglfar – The R.O.U.S. comment made me smile! Haven’t seen Princess Bride for ages.

@Stacey – Haven’t seen you in a while, welcome back!

Alas, my name isn’t Becky, but the resemblance is there: skinny white woman with glasses and a ponytail. (Although I don’t have super long legs and a flat stomach as their Becky seems to.) 🙂

But there’s another depressing thing about incels in the most recent post. I’ll check it out, although it’ll probably make me angry. :/

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
5 months ago

@epitome of incomprehensibility

Thank you so much, it’s nice to see you too! Yes like I said in other threads I was working on some really cool projects before the pandemic hit. Now it’s mostly planning and the stuff I can do from home.

I love ponytails and glasses!

It’s funny you say that because I usually wear contacts but sometimes I wear glasses and do a ponytail instead of a ballet bun with the athletic-y look I was talking about before because it’s kind of a fun way of tricking the subconscious of a guy who has assumptions about how a traditionally cis woman “cute” look means I’m supposed to be deferential. But then their eyes (if respectful) usually go right to the whip and *that* assumption goes out the door, which I love. 🙂

So glad you are here…I love your posts.

Dalillama
Dalillama
5 months ago

There are two living people on earth who share my deadname. My present first-last combo is unique in the world

@Ohlmann

Thank you for the informations. Damn, it seems there is a lot of meaning for the “fag” term, then. Maybe it is another way to defend yourself when you are called out for a slur “No, i was meaning [insert here less insulting variant of the word]”

That’s prettu much why they started using that terminology, yeah.

@Songs about short men
The one that first springs to my mind is Marty Robbins’ Mr. Shorty:
https://youtube.com/4bE6K6_u4DA

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

@Dalillama
Out of curiosity, how did you check the whole world for matches? I was only able to find data for the US.

Dalillama
Dalillama
5 months ago

@Naglfar
All people with my surname have ancestry from a specific, known location and have only spread to a limited number of places since then, all of which are either in the US or Canada or known to me personally. Further, neither of my first names was ever common even in their native milieus, and those milieus are not the same as the origin of my surname. So, basically, the particular first and last name I was born with pretty much only coexist in the branch of my family that produced me and the rest of the people with that name.

Hambeast
Hambeast
5 months ago

I’m 5’7″ and like short men. Never got to date many, though, since they were always reluctant to date me. *sigh*

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
5 months ago

Even just the commenters here show how awfully wrong creepy incels are in thinking all women want only tall guys. Of our WHTM group here I read more who aren’t like me in preferences than who are. Maybe just maybe it’s because we’re human and human vary…wow, what a concept, incels?!

Paireon
Paireon
5 months ago

Okay, just wondering, I’m familiar with the rest of that Blackpill asshat’s lingo or capable of extrapolating (my guess was that “Noodle” stood for “East/Southeast Asian” too), but… WTF does “Roastie” mean?

As for size, I’m 1.72m (about 5’7″3/4 in Your Measurement System Is Bad And You Should Feel Bad – seriously, please, just adopt metric already :P), so pretty average for my generation (a bit more big-boned and broad-shouldered than the average though), but taller than a lot of my friends who happen to be in long-standing relationships which produced kids, and who have very varying levels of “Chadness”, so while I know that this is too small a sampling to have scientific value I still feel fairly confident in calling that size crap bullshit (another Tolkien analogy: one of my friends who’s rather short is nicknamed by his girlfriend/fiancee “my chubby-faced Hobbit”).

Also, love that version of the “Virgin and Chad” meme (oh who am I kidding, I really like the meme in general especially since it’s so easy to hijack and subvert and flip around every which way), especially since it very much reminds me of myself (I even kinda look like the virgin drawing IRL – glasses, dark hair and clothes, slightly less white than sour cream – except with a bigger paunch; I do keep my back and neck straighter though, better for posture and self-esteem) and my Chad-ier friends hanging out.

And all that discussion about names, whether dead, rare, both or neither, has made me reeaaaally curious about those… Must… Resist… Intruding on privacy with my stupid insensitive questions…

Finally: I choose to believe that my imaginary head rodent is a Giant Space Hamster (Google it for a laugh; Spelljammer was a weird D&D setting).

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

@Paireon

WTF does “Roastie” mean?

Short for roast beef, it’s incel-speak for what they think a non-virgin vagina looks like, and by extension refers to any woman who they deem to be non-virginal or promiscuous.

Paireon
Paireon
5 months ago

@Naglar: …Fuck. To quote a line from the movie Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, “I should not have asked”.

I really, really hope this horrible factoid will be forgotten or very, very deeply buried in my mind before the next time I get to eat roast beef.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
5 months ago

Well, folks, I think I might be well and truly circling the drain now. A bunch of things have happened in the past week or so, plus some ongoing trends, that are combining to make my life both increasingly difficult to live and decreasingly worth living. What will actually get me first I don’t know, but it will probably be either COVID, exhaustion or some similar thing, or even starvation.

First, it’s getting more and more difficult to get supplies. I’m finding that the trips into town take a lot out of me lately, to where I feel I can barely stagger the last mile or so home sometimes, especially now that we’re getting some bona fide hot weather here. I think the difficulty is a combination of a few things: I used to rest for a good half-hour-ish between outbound and return legs, but that’s not been possible since the lockdown started; there are only a very few suitable places for shorter (~5min) rests along the way; and possibly changes of some sort in my underlying physical condition, as I slowly get older. The mask I’ve been using should be a nonissue since I found it annoying enough to exert while breathing through it that I’ve been compromising lately, pulling it over my mouth and nose to go into indoor public areas, but pulling it down when outdoor and easily able to stay well away from other people.

I also am running into problems with pack capacity fairly often. It’s a mix of things: I used to typically take two trips a week to the store and infrequently a third to get bulkier frozen stuff, but we’re not supposed to be shopping too often, so that’s dropped to one a week with an occasional second to get frozen stuff; plus no eating out at all anymore increases the frequency with which I need to get frozen stuff.

I worry that I will soon lose the ability to get supplies on foot, and possibly suffer some sort of collapse or other medical episode on one of the trips at some point; and failing that, or if I survive such an episode, be forced to resort to taxis not to starve. The latter would drain my savings and at some point I’d have no way to bring food home at all … bam, starvation. Of course, either landing in hospital or frequent taxi rides will also increase substantially my risk of exposure to COVID, which brings me to:

The COVID situation in my area is becoming alarming. The province of Ontario is losing control of the virus. The active case count had peaked in late April and begun to decline, but starting about a week ago it’s been climbing back up again. Somebody somewhere has seriously fucked up, most likely that piece of shit Ford, and based on my observations this setback will already have extended the time-until-things-return-to-normal by almost a full month, as case counts are back up to where they were in early May now. And that’s if this alarming trend reverses again literally starting tomorrow.

My own region of the province had spent much of mid-May with zero new day-to-day cases reported, and only about four or five active cases in self-isolation. No community spread occurring … again, until a week or so ago. It’s begun slowly ticking up since then, with a new case or two each day. I don’t know how this is happening, but at least one of the retirement homes in my area declared an outbreak yesterday after someone there tested positive. Most likely an asymptomatic carrier isn’t distancing properly and has been infecting people haphazardly for at least two weeks now, with the first of those cases becoming symptomatic about a week ago.

So much for any likelihood of my getting out of this without being infected at some point. If I’m going to be forced to significantly increase my exposure risk (with e.g. taxi rides — 10+ minutes twice a trip in a confined space with a random stranger, and a different random stranger each trip) at the same time the province, and my region of it, lose containment and the virus begins to explode Italy-style, then I’m probably going to get sick, and then I’m fucked, because even if it’s a mild case then I’m supposed to self-quarantine for 14 days, and I’ll run out of food maybe halfway through that period and starve since I’ve no reliable way to have anything delivered to my own doorstep. And of course heaven only knows how my weird constellation of conditions, and medications, will interact with the fucking virus should I get infected, but I doubt any of it improves my chances …

At the same time, it’s looking increasingly like I won’t be missing out on much if my tombstone ends up reading HERE LIES SURPLUS, 1976-2020, CASUALTY OF COVID-19, REST IN PEACE instead of HERE LIES SURPLUS, 1976-2058, DIED PEACEFULLY IN BED OF HEART FAILURE, REST IN PEACE.

Someone or something is now systematically dismantling what passed for my social life. It started about three weeks ago when the screen on my phone started glitching, increasingly often, and the only way to un-glitch it was percussive maintenance. The glitching became more frequent and worse, and eventually the phone succumbed either to its underlying condition or the percussive maintenance.

During a COVID lockdown. So, no taking it to the nearest Staples of Office Depot to be repaired and no shopping for a replacement there either. Someone with a decent-enough-paying job to have decent enough credit to have a credit card could perhaps have ordered a replacement, and perhaps somewhere out there someone else with a broken phone did, but meanwhile I’m stuck with a broken one until and unless the less unreliable of my 2 remaining relatives violates the quarantine rules by traveling to my area to do some arms-length transaction to exchange a replacement for some money. (Law enforcement must hate COVID. Everyone’s doing weird suspicious drug deal like stuff, like leaving objects in fencing and coming back after ten minutes to collect money.) This relative promised to do something on Saturday, last minute postponed it on Friday to Sunday, and then on Saturday to Tuesday, i.e. tomorrow; I give the odds at less than 50/50 he actually shows up.

But it gets way worse. About a week ago, I woke up to find my Facebook account “deactivated”. I hadn’t done anything unusual the previous day, or even recently at all, and had not gotten into any controversies or had any posts removed lately, so either they suddenly considered something nonunusual to have gone from nothing to super-heinous crime, or someone found a way to impersonate me and did something extremely naughty. Naughty enough for them to jump straight to deactivation without any warnings, post removals, or “Facebook jail” type escalating responses first.

The message I saw did not state any reason beyond an extremely vague reference to “community standards”. I had not had any recent complaints about my conduct; not in months, if not longer, and those were individual group admins removing a post infrequently that was innocuous in my view but they didn’t like for whatever reason, not anything involving FB’s own administration.

No specific post of mine was pointed to, quoted, or anything, nor any specific charge specified.

The only recourse offered was to click a “review” button, which wants me to give my login credentials. I use 2FA (which makes this whole situation all the weirder: it seems likely someone impersonated me, but 2FA should have made that impossible), which means it wants me to use the authenticator app on my phone.

You know, the broken one I can’t get repaired or replaced during this fucking lockdown.

I did actually save a set of “one time codes” (also for Google and a couple other things) just in case, but weirdly FB didn’t provide any option to use those as an alternative 2nd factor, even though they are supposed to.

So I have no way to even try to fix the situation at Facebook, no confidence they would reinstate me if I could, and in fact am almost incommunicado now. I have a couple of web forums, including here, and I have email, and that’s basically it. My social life, such as it had been, is over, with no promise of being able to ever get it back.

This is clearly an extreme attack on me, and a deliberately and cruelly targeted one. I have no idea how to identify the perpetrator, or even where to begin with investigating this. I have no idea how to fix this or even if it can be fixed. I’m pretty sure I have the moral right to this being fixed, but I would be surprised if FB had any legal obligations at all to speak of, the way giant corporations are mollycoddled these days.

So, basically, this is the end. Even if my flagging endurance somehow holds up, and I find some way to continue getting supplies, and I somehow dodge the COVID bullet in the middle of all of that, I can never know friendship again; my dismally low and decreasing-year-by-year chances of ever having a romantic relationship have flatlined outright; I can’t so much as share news snippets or random observations with the people I know/knew; I might hear from a relative or two once in a while by email and maybe even will regain the ability to phone or be phoned by them, but I’ll never actually go out to dinner with them or anything again, since the lockdown here will never end, since Ford fucked up; and I certainly no longer have any way of meeting actually new people, in addition to being cut off from basically everyone I ever knew before. All because of a) some asshole either impersonating me or massing a sockpuppet army to “report”-bomb some post of mine; b) Doug Fucking Ford; c) a system that never afforded me the “normal” opportunities to do much of anything, work, socialize, or even cheaply transport my ass around my town; d) a faceless, unaccountable monopolist that doesn’t give a shit and isn’t legally forced to pretend that it does; and e) whoever sabotaged my phone, though this is almost certainly the same asshole who attacked my Facebook access, since how else would they have known when to time that attack for maximum disruption, seeing as how only three people in the world know my phone is out of action, him, me, and that relative?

I am not even going to bother to ask for suggestions. It’s pretty obvious that I’m completely and totally screwed, and besides, doing so just seems to annoy everyone anyway. I’m just posting this so if I disappear in another week or a month or two, you’ll know why.

Glug, glug.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
5 months ago

Well, it looks like if I don’t ask for suggestions, what happens instead is it just sinks without a ripple.

Figures.

Oh, and of course Mr. Reliable failed to show up today, with or without a replacement for my phone. This time without even the courtesy of notifying me more than a couple of hours in advance that he wasn’t going to show up.

What is it about me that telegraphs to people that I don’t matter? That I’m not worth the bother or effort of actually keeping promises to? Or so much as explaining what they’ve been accused of before rendering a summary judgment after a trial in absentia? Or, for that matter, after doing so? Or allowing to have any kind of a social life at all?

This treatment of me is almost universal, as if it’s instinctual. People who know me or new people who’ve never met me before all behave alike. Consider a group conversation: I’ll quickly be pushed to the margins and treated as a fifth wheel. The threshold levels of calling-attention-to-myself where I stop being ignored and where people get annoyed with me are not even distinguishable, leaving no level strictly in between where I get included in a positive way. Since group conversations happen, the same can’t be true of everyone in them, ergo I’m being subjected to a double standard like a child in an old-fashioned home who’s expected to be “seen, but not heard” when the adults talk at the dinner table.

It’s as if I’m carrying a label, invisible to me but visible to anyone else, that prompts different (and shoddier) treatment. It can’t be some hygiene issue, because it still has effect in text-only online environments much of the time. Ditto anything along the lines of accent, ethnicity*, or even the usual incel bugbears of height, wrist circumference, and canthal tilt.

* My surname would give some clues to this, but the effect persists when using online handles that don’t give such clues, and even when using ones that are potentially misleading as to such.

It’s too late for me, now. That much is clear. I don’t have enough remaining lifespan to recover and have any semblance of a normal life even if this … thing were to disappear tomorrow. But if I could understand what happened to me to lead to this situation, where I’m now nearly completely cut off from humanity and ignored and dismissed by the handful of people I can still get my words in front of at all, perhaps something could be done to prevent it from happening to anybody else ever again.

But no, even that is futile. This very same thing means that anything I learn about this will die with me, ignored by everybody else, including the very people it might otherwise save from eventually suffering the same fate.

At the same time, I can’t do nothing. Not in good conscience. Even if all I can do is add another comment to this thread that nobody is apparently reading anymore …

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 months ago

@Surplus

If you’re having difficulties traveling to the store, is it possible to look into having groceries delivered? I imagine that even if your town lacked the option before the crisis, it should have come up now.

Is it because you do not have a credit card that you can’t order groceries online to be delivered? I know you’ve posted that you do not trust credit cards before, but if it’s an option between that and starvation, isn’t the credit card a better option? You could even get a prepaid one, if you’re heading difficulties overcoming the anxiety of having the card stolen.

Some phone repair centers are doing curbside drop off, maybe check the websites of your town and see if any of them have some options for fixing your phone?

In terms of Facebook, while you’re waiting for your account to be restored, you could make a new account and re-add your friends, with a “hi, I’m having some technical problems with my old account, please contact me with this one!” explanation or something.

And finally, a lot of what you’re posting is exposing a really worrying mindset and I highly recommend looking into some mental health services or helplines.

Allandrel
Allandrel
5 months ago

@Surplus

As many people have explained to you, no one is targeting you. You should get professional help.

Likewise, people have repeatedly explained why they no longer wish to offer you advice: because when they do, you reject it as worthless and call them unhelpful because the advice did not meet restrictions that you hadn’t told people about, but nonetheless expected them to be aware of.

And you did not receive responses to your post because you posted it in a topic that was far down the queue and had not seen any activity for days, and so was unlikely to be looked at.

Ask yourself: Are you seeking solutions to your problems, or are you seeking ways to feel more hard done by? Because your pattern of behavior here has led a number of people to conclude the latter.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
5 months ago

Last time I checked, prepaid credit cards have steep extra fees associated with them that I could ill afford. It’s too late even so, since I’m pretty sure all the banks in town are closed to in-person business (aside from maybe the ATMs) for the foreseeable future, and of course to order something online requires a credit card.

Meanwhile, not addressed is the question of why almost everyone’s instinct seems to be to shun me. Do you know of a single other person anywhere whose isolation is as extreme as what I’ve described, short of someone who retreated to some mountaintop somewhere by choice, or else was sentenced to solitary confinement by some judicial system somewhere?

I assume it’s not normal for FB accounts that have had normal usage patterns and activity for 10+ years to be abruptly closed without so much as a word of explanation let alone escalating warnings and lesser sanctions first? That too fits a general and pervasive pattern of hostility to my having any kind of social life at all. Apparently I am now to be denied even an online one, by decree of God-knows-who. It’s another reason everyone here shouldn’t expect me to be around much longer. Most likely I’ll be blocked from here soon, too, either by some mysterious “tech malfunction” or even by unprovoked use of David’s banhammer. If neither happens, it would be a violation of the pattern of recent events.

The weird thing is, it’s not a universal or uniform thing. Once in a while I’ve had someone who seemed completely unaffected and liked, or at least didn’t mind, communicating with me. But of the rest, some so strongly feel that I should never be communicated with that they will even take action to obstruct someone else from freely doing so. It will be some such person who caused the Facebook block. And I know that such people are present here too, because a few months ago someone (I forget who) actually suggested out loud here that I ought to be locked up. I don’t recall what it was in response to, but I certainly hadn’t done the one thing that could conceivably warrant such a response, which would be “engaged in homicidal ideation”.

In the past few years the family members who have retained some contact with me out of a sense of obligation have pared that down steadily until I hardly ever see any of them except one … the one who is now systematically and repeatedly failing me in my hour of need, natch. My mother was the only family member to appear immune to this thing, and she’s been gone for about ten years now. I can see the day getting closer and closer when I am completely and totally isolated.

The desire to avoid communicating with me present among the rest has always been quite remarkable, to the point that even when people specifically want something from me, they have generally avoided telling me so. By the end of childhood I’d lost count of the times that someone had, apparently, spent a good 20 minutes or more furiously thinking at me to do something, or sometimes to stop doing something, without uttering a word about it out loud, getting more and more frustrated when I naturally did not respond to their unspoken request, until they’d eventually just explode like a pressure cooker with a faulty valve. Most likely I’d have responded positively to a politely-worded request but no, in my case they refuse to be seen speaking to me so telepathy it was … which, of course, didn’t work. The weirdest variant of this was the Doorway Explosion. Everything seems normal enough until some group with me in it went through a doorway somewhere and then out of nowhere half the people in it are mad at me out of the blue, yelling and screaming typically about some incident that happened half an hour ago without anyone having particularly remarked upon it at the time. What the fuck? They must have expected some additional response to it on my part, but failed to actually communicate that expectation, until it was too late to rectify whatever-it-was as we had left the place. And then of course it’s somehow all my fault that someone else failed to communicate adequately their expectations of me …

I’d also be sometimes banned from something or ejected from something with, if any explanation at all, a claim that I’d done something that in some cases I’d definitely not even done and in other cases nobody had complained about it to my face, or in any way communicated that it was against the rules or anything. The general rule was: a) if an argument ever developed between me and more or less anybody else, then it was all my fault, b) if something happened that someone didn’t like and I had had nothing whatsoever to do with it, then it was still all my fault at least 30-40% of the time, and c) if nothing had happened at all that seemed noteworthy, and everything seemed normal with everyone going on with business as usual and no signs of ruffled feathers anywhere, then something was still all my fault around 10% of the time, after a completely random time-delay since I got there.

Presumably, in case a) I was sometimes actually in the wrong back then, and the rest of the time and in case b) I was scapegoated because I was seen as a safe target for scapegoating, or even a desirable one — whatever had happened, regardless of who the evidence said was actually responsible, furnished a handy excuse to get rid of me, on behalf of whatever subset of the people there quietly harbored an active hatred of me (and again, there’s always at least one of these active haters). As for case c), the obvious supposition would be a frame-job by one of the active haters, though the lack of my getting any sort of warnings of admonishments about “my” actions before things escalated to more serious sanctions is odd.

That kind of lunacy mostly stopped at the end of my childhood, but obviously the cause of it is still out there stalking me, or I would still be able to log into Facebook normally, now wouldn’t I? Apparently, the “nothing at all noteworthy” case can have a time delay of approximately twelve entire years sometimes.

The pattern did remain that I’d be sided against in pretty much any controversy. Indeed I wonder to what extent the extreme shift to the political right the whole fucking world seems to be undergoing is because that’s the other side from mine. It seems the more politically aware I got, the more the world has tilted to the right wing even as I tilted further left. Coincidence? Or cause and effect? I will note this much: the rightward shift dates back at least to Reagan’s 1980 election, and many consider Jimmy Carter to have started a rightward shift in the Democratic Party. I was born right about the time Carter was elected, and although you wouldn’t have found me articulating a position for either side in the 1980 election, you would have found me holding a firm moral compass and in favor of things like fairness and sharing over double-standards and hoarding … even if that was hoarding toys on the playground and rigging the rules of some hopscotch game to disfavor certain players (and, of course, “no girls allowed!”, which always baffled me — why exclude people you haven’t even gotten to know yet?).

The message of the past few weeks is very clear, though: I’m no longer welcome in most of human society. I don’t know why. I don’t know what they think I’ve done this time. I do know no harm or slight was intended, and I don’t think those who have in shadowy rooms made this decision would believe me, or would care even if they did believe me. But the decision itself is starkly obvious from the events that have transpired: the phone breaking down, then FB abruptly cutting me off without explanation, and now a pervasive and systematic pattern of obstruction to my only viable option for replacing the phone. The virus and lockdowns must have furnished the perfect opportunity to put an end to what faint shadow of a social life I had. I am just surprised that whoever is orchestrating this waited as long as they did, instead of striking in mid-March right after Ontario first locked down. Perhaps it took that long to arrange for the sabotage of my phone? That would have been a trickier thing to arrange than the rest of it. A word in the right (i.e., an instinctive active-hater’s) ear at Facebook’s moderation team and my account there goes poof. A word in the right ear somewhere else and deliveries of phone hardware into my area keep getting “misrouted”, or whatever, much like the hijacked PPE shipments that have resulted from Trump’s tug-of-war with blue state governors. But getting at my existing phone required physical access to my apartment, an opportunity when the phone was left unattended and I was outside (during a lockdown!), and so forth.

The real headscratcher is why they didn’t instead just get Bell to terminate my service? That was the single point of failure: strike there, and no more phone, no more Facebook, and during a lockdown, no more anything else at all. Hell, no more TV, even. The only thing I can figure is, since phone service is considered essential, and even internet these days, Bell had an immovable policy not to cut off those services for any other reason than nonpayment, and during the lockdown not even for that (which I’m sure those behind this could easily fake — it’s just numbers in a computer somewhere, and computers can be hacked, or people convinced to input false data).

Of course, they could be working on that even as I speak. If I disappear and it’s not because somehow David was convinced I deserved banning, it’s likely because “they” convinced Bell of that instead. If that happens, I won’t be coming back. During the lockdowns and with no phone or internet there’s no way I’d be able to sign up with Rogers or another of their competitors, and doing so would presumably only postpone the inevitable anyway. I will be permanently cut off from all human contact at that point, which will leave me with only one option that doesn’t amount to enduring perhaps as much as 40+ years of torture.

I’d ask you to promise that some one among you would then hunt down the bastards who did this to me and make them pay, and remove their capability to ever do it to anyone else, but then there are no bastards who did this to me, are there? This isn’t a conspiracy like you see in the movies. This is something structural. People dislike me, especially in meatspace. They dislike talking to me in meatspace so much they’ll stew for 20, 30, 40 minutes until they explode in frustration rather than make a simple, clear and understandable verbal request of me that I’d probably say yes to. A great many of them dislike me sufficiently strongly that after I come to their attention in any way, shape, or form, they will proactively do things to sabotage me or bring about, by manipulation or force, my exclusion from any spaces they inhabit. And it’s not a conspiracy when it’s a broad societal consensus. It’s simply policy.

As for why this is so, I really don’t know. I actually find it difficult to hold grudges or to wish harm on others, even those who have wronged me, for longer than a few minutes after an incident of being harmed. I don’t tend toward maliciousness. As someone with an ASD diagnoses, I do sometimes inadvertently offend, usually through omission of some bit of politeness, and will try to avoid future such omissions when one has been pointed out. The general things that would make such a policy of pervasive mostly-low-grade hostility rational, and even perhaps deserved, are absent in my case (and those in whom they are present, the psychopaths and other dark-triad types, seem to be, if anything, lavished upon by society). The ASD furnishes no clues: other people with such diagnoses do not seem to come in for the pervasive and systematic ostracism that I have endured, and that is now apparently escalating yet again. The only logical explanation is that I’m setting off some kind of “uncanny valley” effect, about which I can likely do nothing — and certainly not if no-one will ever be willing to actually communicate what it is they find off-putting. The people willing to proactively associate with me, rather than at-best tolerating my presence and affording the bare minimum of interaction necessary to not be open to an accusation of rudeness, are the very people who do not perceive the thing in question and consequently cannot tell me anything useful. Either they don’t see it at all, or they see it but consider it unremarkable.

Perhaps it’s like misophonia: some people get a perception off me that irritates, and in some cases eventually induces an irrational anger that can result in proactively hostile behavior directed toward the perceived source. It can’t be that, though. Whatever this is, a majority seem to perceive it, and the trigger is something much rarer than typical misophonia triggers. And again, it is detectable even over text-oriented online media somehow, which a sound wave would not be. It’s a higher level thing, detected at a higher cognitive level. Perhaps it’s a sort of “misolexia”: something that ought to be innocuous in the words someone speaks or writes, rather than just in a sound wave, but triggering the same sort of reactions. It would explain a great deal. The only things I’ve ever done that have gotten widespread positive reactions (rather than only from that narrow slice of people I’ve met who have proven they are immune to my anti-charms) have been works of a visual nature: drawings and such. Wordless. “Misolexia” would neatly explain this observation, and another: that the people who react negatively to me will not, or cannot, apparently teach me not to irritate them, and couldn’t even in my childhood. If they can’t themselves describe what it is then they can’t very well describe to me what I should be doing differently. They’d just feel a grating irritation any time I talked, or they read something that I had written (regardless of its attribution), and not be able to find any specific thing in the words themselves to fault, because it is something subtle in the gestalt that they are reacting to, subtle patterns of word choice or order or whatever. It’s in the unused entropy “between” the actual semantic content. And, unable to explain their irritation but equally unable to deny feeling it, they’d react to something more superficial, never the real underlying cause, if not deliberately finding an excuse then confabulating something unwittingly. So on the occasions I did get a specific explanation or accusation, it would be false, or it would be not-actually-wrong, and regardless, avoiding doing it in the future would not prevent future incidents.

If this is really what it is then … I really don’t know what to do about it. Again it’s obviously too late to salvage my own life. If other people are triggering “misolexia” I have no advice to offer them as to how to not do so, or even if they can. I can ask if anyone here had always felt some sort of negative thing whenever reading comments by me, even when it was the very first time they did and the comment in question was objectively innocuous, and if so what exactly is irritating them, but they probably cannot really answer that question anyway: either it’s not something they can put into words, or they’ll attribute the irritation to some incidental feature of the comment-instance they’re looking at, but that won’t be the cause, as comments by me without that incidental feature would nonetheless be causing them to feel the same way. And of course it would be further clouded by them developing a negative association with my name over time, an anti-halo effect. This anti-halo effect would explain why there is always an escalation over time, and eventually someone dislikes me strongly enough to actively subvert the rules and norms of the venue if necessary to have me excluded from it. I’m like an allergen: unlike a virus, quite harmless, yet provoking an unconscious immune-like response that works to exclude or quarantine me away from the host organism. Sentient parts of the host organism will participate without correctly understanding their own actions, and will if confronted either refuse to answer out of their own confusion and cognitive dissonance, or will confabulate an explanation for their actions, but that explanation will be disproved because even if the “allergen” promptly ceases doing the specific thing cited as allegedly irritating, the irritation will persist so long as the “allergen” is present.

So … the conclusion is unchanged. I’m fucked. Not only will I never be able to experience anything close to a normal social life, the host is getting increasingly sensitized with every passing year. Now I can’t make phone calls or use Facebook. Soon I won’t have Internet or be welcome anywhere in meatspace … and three weeks after that I’ll be dead, since I won’t be able to obtain food once that threshold is crossed. Unless I get arraigned on specious charges and tossed in solitary instead, of course. Then it’s decades of torture, but three square meals a day. And that isn’t especially unlikely. Someone here thought I ought to be locked up once. All it takes is for a cop to think the same thing, and to find a crown attorney and 12 jurors who feel the same way strongly enough to be willing to overlook or bend rules to get the verdict they want. And all my life I’ve run afoul of people willing to overlook or bend rules to get rid of me. Frankly, it’s a wonder it hasn’t happened already, but once it does, it won’t be much longer before the prison guards find an excuse to put me in “the hole”, and then that’s that.

So there is one thing I have to make sure of: that when they do come for me — and they will, even if I just sit at home most of the time and make occasional grocery runs while never so much as shoplifting or hurting a fly — they don’t take me alive. Better to die on the spot than spend decades in the hole slowly withering away, I think.

And until then … well, I don’t really know what to do. Keep myself entertained, I suppose, for however long I have left. It’s all that has been left to me, at this point. And, of course, be ready with some way to end it when they pull the plug on my internet, or start breaking in the door. I should probably grab a bottle of sleeping pills the next time I’m at the pharmacy, to stash in a cool, dry cupboard corner until that day.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 months ago

@ surplus

My heart goes out to you. It’s so distressing to read how awful you feel your life is. But please please please seek out some professional help. Even if that’s just some sort of telephone counselling service. Do you have something like the equivalent of the Samaritans there?

I know we’re not supposed to remotely diagnose; but I am so worried for you. I don’t have the skills or ability to help you; it would be irresponsible of me and probably anyone here, to even try. That’s not because people don’t care; this is a space with a lot of compassionate and sympathetic people. Many of whom may be able to relate to some of your experiences. But to try to offer advice over the internet would be like trying to vicariously perform surgery. It’s not lack of compassion for you that holds people back; it’s that you’re in such a vulnerable state we could only make things worse.

I know there are all sorts of obstacles in your life; but I think people here have suggested available help lines before. Why don’t you at least give one of them a call? What have you got to lose by that?

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 months ago

@Surplus

You could try googling prepaid credit cards to see if they were something that you might be able to use, instead of immediately assuming the suggestion was worthless. I don’t know what your budget is, but usually the activation fees and annual fees aren’t that much.

Also, I’m pretty sure that part of the reason why the infection rates are going up in Ontario is because there has been some opening of businesses. As of a week ago, retail stores have been allowed to partially open. I think it’s a damn fool idea, but since it’s happened, you might have a store open near you that can provide you with a prepaid credit card or help fix your phone. https://www.ontario.ca/page/reopening-ontario-stages

As for why people shun you? Well, if you treat them the same way that you treat me whenever I try to offer suggestions, then I think I have a pretty good idea why people don’t want to interact with you.

Yeah, yeah, I know that doesn’t explain why you got banned on Facebook or why the power keeps going out or why your prescriptions have had problems or why all those things are definitely things that have only ever affected you, personally, specifically in order to cause you pain, and are never issues that anyone else has ever had to deal with in their lives.

Honestly, I do hope that you get help. I hope that your situation improves. I hope that you can pull through this. But the one form of assistance I can offer, suggestions on how to try to tackle some of your problems, is clearly unwelcome, and every goddamn time I try, I only get berated for not being able to magically fix all your problems at the press of a button. I should have learned my lesson by now, really. I can’t help you further. You need to look for assistance elsewhere.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
5 months ago

@Alan Robertshaw:

Even if that’s just some sort of telephone counselling service.

<headdesk>

OK, I’ll repeat this one more time.

No phone. No credit card. Coronavirus lockdown.

Oh, and no insurance coverage for therapy-like things, and significantly less than the several hundred bucks of discretionary income per month that would be needed to pay for it out-of-pocket.

At this point, if it’s not either freely available on the web or else for sale in a grocery store or pharmacy where it’s physically sitting on a shelf with an actual physical price tag on it and everything, and it’s not something I already have one of in working order, then it’s as out of my reach as if it were on Mars.

I understand that it beggars belief that this would be the case for anybody living in an allegedly-first-world country in the allegedly-21st century, but … it is.

Thank you for the compassion, though.

@Catalpa:

You could try googling prepaid credit cards

I did, a few weeks ago. They don’t just typically have steep fees; there are a panoply of confusing options from various big banks, all of them with a panoply of confusing rules and fees, and no doubt all of them designed to absolutely soak the shit out of anyone poor enough to resort to them. The only thing I expect would be even worse would be a payday loan.
<shudder>

I wouldn’t touch any of the offers I did see with a ten-foot pole without consulting a lawyer first, and you know how expensive those are.

To put it simply, I could not, after reading the info that was available, come to a clear decision to get any one of them that was guaranteed not to end up turning out to be a mistake.

Also, I’m pretty sure that part of the reason why the infection rates are going up in Ontario is because there has been some opening of businesses. As of a week ago, retail stores have been allowed to partially open.

Foolish of them, and yet, not the cause, or at least, not the sole cause. The uptick in cases started at the same time, which given this thing’s incubation period means the loss of containment happened around a week earlier, when nothing much of note was going on that I observed, and no changes were being made to the lockdown rules yet. That being said I won’t be surprised if this easing aggravates the loss of containment further.

I think it’s a damn fool idea, but since it’s happened, you might have a store open near you that can provide you with a prepaid credit card or help fix your phone.

Since it’s not business as usual, I’m not particularly sanguine about the prospect, and it would cost me two hours of hard physical labor to try. Unless success is guaranteed I won’t pay it. I’m operating way too close to the edge now to have any discernible margin for error, with either money or my dwindling reserve of physical stamina.

At this point I doubt anything short of a near-literal miracle will help me. Someone will pretty much have to just hand me something on a silver platter, more or less literally, unless I were to make a “Hail Mary play” and get lucky. And I don’t have a history of being very lucky.

Thank you for the compassion, though.

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 months ago

There are some online crisis chat options. This is one that I could find.
https://edmonton.cmha.ca/programs-services/online-crisis-chat/

There are also online options for placing phone calls, though even I find those websites sketchy, so you’ll probably hate them even more. It might be an option for you to call ahead to a place to check if they can do phone repairs or other services you need, though. Less of an opportunity cost than 2 hours of labor, maybe?

If a prepaid card is unacceptable, you could consider a regular credit card or a visa debit card, as those can also order things online. You can also buy Visa gift cards and put them into a PayPal account. Though I’m sure you have a reason for not getting those, either. I would think the risks involved in at least one of those four options would be considered lesser than starving, but that’s just me.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
5 months ago

Online counseling chat options? Who on Earth thought that was a good idea? People won’t open up without the guarantee of confidentiality, to the point they have to disallow even cops with a warrant from being able to pry into therapy sessions … and then someone thinks they can just offer something like that over IRC or the web where any Tom, Dick, or Hacker can listen in (and the NSA certainly will) and expect that to work? Yeesh.

I guess though I should have expected that level of idiocy from someone. Just because it’s instantly obvious to me that it’s too stupid and doomed-to-failure to even try doesn’t mean it’s obvious to everyone else, or even to everyone who has enough money and/or influence to actually try to implement it.

Needless to say, I’m not going to try getting counseled over the ‘net anytime soon. It just wouldn’t be safe.

At least they weren’t dumb enough to not even use https …

As for assorted card types, PayPal, etc. … The fact is, I don’t know the first thing about how to do most of this, being completely inexperienced dealing with anything beyond a garden-variety checking account, and I couldn’t afford to screw up either, not with real actual money at stake. Anything at all of that sort is more-or-less asking me to do something completely new, without much instruction, and get everything 100% right on the very first try. Even for me that’s a big ask.

Oh, and what instruction there is will be coming from sources that may have a vested interest in n00bs making expensive mistakes (i.e., profitable mistakes for somebody other than the n00b). So the instructions that are provided must be assumed to be biased and of limited usefulness (if not indeed being worse than useless) for avoiding making expensive mistakes.

Frankly, I really don’t know how to do much of anything in life beyond the highly circumscribed stuff I already do do without having to trust someone else, and in many cases someone there’s a solid reason to distrust, such as bankers. If I trust someone, I’ll get hurt. And if my ability to put bread on the table tomorrow is at stake, I can’t take that risk, not even to ensure being able to put bread on the table in 2021.

I just don’t see a way out of my situation other than to get ahold of a time machine, go back to 1976, and make myself be born as someone else somehow. Someone who’ll be treated normally, have normal experiences, get a normal education, be offered all the normal opportunities, and end up close to the median in regard to experiences, outcomes, and life events. And then this me would disappear in a puff of logic, never having been.