By David Futrelle
It‘s amazing what the so-called “Red Pill” can do to some guys’ brains. Consider the case of one myrenaissance, an aspiring pickup artist who recently came to the Red Pill subreddit with his tale of woe: he had found what he thought was his ideal woman, his perfect “unicorn” — until he uncovered her secret flaw.
Myrenaissance — an earnest and impressionable young lad of 21 — told the tale of his sad journey. He began with a confession:
I’ve taken a three year haitus on the Pill since I first discovered this subreddit in 2017. I am turning 21 this coming June, and it has taken another unfortunate, but liberating realization that the Red Pill is the only mindset to keep.
Oh dear. In the intervening years, he reported,
I guess I went on monk mode, or I was being a little bitch. I’m going to be a senior in college now and I haven’t been smashing anywhere near the amount of broads as I want to. Probably a couple.
I love that “probably a couple.” The chance he doesn’t know the exact number of “broads” he “smashed” is zero, which coincidentally is probably also the number of the aforementioned smashed “broads.”
Anyway, his luck had recently changed — or so he thought.
Recently I swiped and matched with this chick on Tinder and we hit it off. We Facetimed nearly every day for weeks and I can’t believe I’ve told her that I think I love her and I may want to marry her, even though deep down I don’t want to, but I don’t mind either. Her face is completely my type and her personality is 100/100.
HER FACE IS COMPLETELY MY TYPE.
She started catching feelings too and I couldn’t stop imagining/fantasizing all the great vacations and experiences we were going to make in the future…until five minutes ago when a conversation topic took me at a complete stop.
As David Byrne once (allegedly) said while being dragged into the bushes by muggers, uh oh!
It felt like a semi-truck of liberation and genuine sadness that this girl is not the one. Or any girl for that matter.
Jesus Christ. Is she a mass murderer? Does she light puppies on fire for fun? What could this revelation have been?
We were talking and the conversation led to the use the “Hitachi Wand.” For some of you who don’t know what that is, look it up. Its basically a vibrator on steroids that makes a girl clit explode. I asked her how she was so familiar with it and I literally had to dig up information from her past using semantics and found out that a hook up partner of hers used it on her. The moment she told me that, I literally lost the sight of her “being the one” and saw a complete whore instead.
She used a Hitachi Magic Wand once during sex and this makes her a “whore?”
I was sad, but I was glad that it hit me.
It comes to show that no matter how innocent or lovely you think a girl is, everyone has a past.
That is “a past?”
To tell yourself that she could be the mother of your kids or even a partner to truly love, is complete bullshit.
Because she once used a back massager to massage something other than her back? This is the worst case of Madonna/Whore syndrome I think I’ve ever seen.
This post is mostly a rant/realization that the one’s you thought you loved, aren’t real. This is a self-reflection post for me to remember this moment. Stick to the Red Pill and focus for the best for yourself.
After inviting his Red Pill colleagues to offer “completely honest roasts and feedback” on his sad tale, he ended with an open letter to his Madonna-turned-whore:
For my girl Jenn: I thought you were the one, but you are another girl riding the CC. I still want to date you for a little bit, but just cause you have big tits and a fun personality.
Yeah, that’s not going to be happening if she sees this, bro.
I can’t believe I almost fell on your unicorn horn. You almost made me forget that the genuine feeling of personal satisfaction is created by myself, my achievements, and my improvements.
Well, bullet dodged, for “Jenn” anyway.
Ironically, for all of myrenaissance’s professed fealty to Red Pill ideology, the Red Piller’s were not kind in their responses to his “field report.” They basically told him he was an idiot and that dismissing a possible girlfriend because she once used a Magic Wand was ridiculous.
“[O]h no not a hitachi!” wrote one commenter sarcastically.
What an absolute whore! How dare she have some other partner before you that was interested in her sexual pleasure! Get you a proper lady who doesn’t know where her own clit is. /s
“[A]re you really expecting to find an experienced virgin innocent hot girl that has a 100/100 personality waiting only for you?” asked another commenter.
And even if in some magical world that existed, I would never marry a virgin, it’s better that she has taken a few dicks or sex toys in your case, than to go nuts in later years of LTR/marriage.
Myrenaissance replied:
Thanks bro, I needed to hear this. Yes, I do have many insecurities to work on and I’m so excited to overcome them. I died laughing when you said “virgin innocent hot girl that has a 100/100 personality waiting only for you.” One line hits home cause the truth hurts and I love it.
I agree that I have a lot of growing up to do. I see it in myself and I get upset over things that I look back on and realize how stupid I was. She did dodge a bullet, but shes catching feelings for me. I’m gonna fuck her silly when I see her.
Not if she ever sees this Reddit post, my dude.
Reddit’s Red Pillers may mock this young Padawan but the fact is he’s the logical end point of their fetishization of youth and purity — and their not-so-well-hidden fear that any women with non-zero experience will compare them unfavorably with their previous boyfriends and/or hookups. I hope myrenaissance’s next discovery is that the Red Pill philosophy itself is a giant pile of shit.
H/T — r/TheBluePill
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On the one hand, fuck this guy for slut shaming over a vibrator.
On the other hand, this kind makes me sad. I think this is one of those patriarchy hurts men too (though to a lesser extent) moments. How many potentially good relationships get ruined because male fragility causes a freakout over some completely silly thing like this. I think this guy would be a lot happier if he’d just accepted that his girlfriend has “a past” and let himself still like and value her. There’s no happiness in the red pill ideology.
That said, I hope Jenn finds someone better.
I’ve never used a Hitachi Magic Wand myself, but I’ve heard good things about it.
This is the rare situation that makes the Red Pill subreddit look to be the voice of reason. That’s the real unicorn.
This might be the first time I’ve seen a red piller acknowledge that women can have value for their personalities. Generally they seem to want sex and domestic slaves. Granted, it still sucks in context, but it’s something.
That gives me an idea: a vibrator shaped like a unicorn horn. Certainly someone would want it. Maybe someone with a fetish for mythical creatures?
Considering how many incels claim this, there’s been a disappointing dearth of Illuminated manuscripts.
@Naglfar
A quick google search revealed a few, some of which do not look comfortable at all. Though I’m sure that’s some people’s thing.
@Alan Robertshaw
To be fair, I’m not really sure I want to see what an illuminated manuscript by an incel would look like. Though it would give them something to do.
Note to the reader: making your clit explode is not recommended and possibly quite painful. Do not try this at home.
Reminds me of this:
Well there are the ‘bad dragon’ toys so I would say there is a market for unicorn horns (edit) just did a search the unicorn horns already exist .
He gets to “smash broads” but she doesn’t get to have a hookup. And once he finds out she did have a hookup, he’s going to use her for sex — and entertainment.
In the meantime, he’s already said this, something she no doubt remembers very clearly:
But not to fear, his Reddit brethren have shown him the light:
No, it’s not so much insecurity as it is hatred and fear of women, his immediate default position when it turns out that a woman is actually an autonomous being. What happens when it turns out that Jenn was once in love with another guy? Or has a second or maybe a tenth hookup in her past?
Jenn: In the story of your life, this guy is a villain. Don’t waste any of your precious time pitying him, even though he is pitiful. Run.
How depressing that a 21-year-old is reviving misogynistic slang of yore.
“Wow, I can’t believe that I was so into this girl that I told her a complete lie!” ?????
It seemed like his complaint was less about the wand and more about “one of her hook-ups” allegedly being the one who introduced her to it (which raises a couple questions in my mind, but I’m not going to examine that further).
I admit, I kinda want to know how that conversation went down…
Red Pill ideology is based, well primarily after the fear that no one will love you if you aren’t masculine enough, but second taking the virgin-whore dichotomy and applying that to all women everywhere and taking it to the extreme that if they aren’t purely good then they must be purely bad. For the talk of colorful pills, they are extremely guilty of black and white thinking.
@Naglfar I owned one very briefly. It was just too powerful for me to enjoy it – it was like trying to rub up a rocket engine or something. To me it was painful even with a thick towel over it. I ended up carefully disinfecting it and sending it to a friend with anorgasmia who apparently liked it much more than I did. Admittedly, I’m not that into vibration compared to other stimulation types.
This was a journey to read lol. Poor girl.
@Alan
I loved the illuminated manuscripts bit.
@everyone
When I was reading this, I could only think:
@Guy
Dude you need to be careful, the air you are in right now has probably been around people who were masturbating. You should stop breathing just to be safe.
This gets me thinking about all of those times when I received shocking new information and briefly thought it would mean my life as I knew it had come to an end and there was no salvation. Then, in a completely unexpected turn of events, it turned out that I had been overreacting and life actually went on.
So I guess I’m just glad this wasn’t one of those posters who make a big deal about women being irrational and lacking in composure?
Otherwise “wait you’ve used a sex toy during partnered sex???” sounds kind of like freaking out over finding out that someone might be used to good times and fearing that you won’t measure up — which, clearly, can’t be your fault, so she has to be a [bad word of choice].
What does that even mean?
Outside the “She uses a wand, she is a witch ! Burn !” thing, what puzzle me is that, if he says that literally, is first thought is : “Let us post about this intimate revelation on Internet !”.
You will probably tell me “Ok boomer”, but am i the only one who find strange to immediately come and post on the web when experiencing something, especially when it comes to personal relationship ?
@Amadaun
“I literally had to dig up information from her past” means that he used some sort of implement, probably a shovel, to extract something from the ground, most likely documents, that revealed details of her past dealings with a vibrator, those details being that another human being was with her when she used that vibrator.
But then there’s that thing about “using semantics.” So I guess he didn’t use a shovel. Instead, he used some sort of tricky wording to extract those documents from the dirt. Maybe Abracadabra?
Oh hell. I’m as mystified as you are.
@Kat, maybe Semantics is a brand name of a tool company?
Just based on the symbolic meaning of unicorns as symbols of virginityI approve of this idea.
My guess over the semantics thing is that he more than likely argued over ‘what the definition of ‘is’ is’ and kept pushing this girl over her past relationships until she finally told him what he wanted to hear. And did it to get him to shut. up. about. the. other. guys. ALREADY! instead of sharing that level of stuff willingly. Because it does sound like that tidbit about who she was using that wand with wasn’t something that she volunteered to tell him, just the bit that she had used one in the past.
Just my guess; could be miles off on this more than likely.
I heard some years ago that Hitachi actually sold the Magic Wand brand to another company (now sold as Magic Wand Original), apparently because it was making their company brand too much sex toy associated. It seems Hitachi prefers to be known for, er, industrial grade power tools.
I’m honestly wondering if he got his Red Pill “philosophies” confused. He probably would have gotten the affirmation he was looking for on an Incel or MGTOW board.