By David Futrelle
Priorities, we’ve all got them. For example, my top priorities for the next year and a half are to 1) not die and/or 2) go completely broke. By contrast, the top priority of a Reddit “pickup artist” known as RedPill_Swinger is to procure himself as many potential future “lays” as possible, worldwide pandemic or no.
But alas, he’s not doing so well, and so he has turned to the Ask The Red Pill subreddit for advice on how to handle the “huge drop in the ROI of online dating apps.”
“I used to average one new girl/week before the outbreak of coronavirus and had (maybe have?) 6 plates,” he writes. “Plates,” for the uninitiated, is the oh-so-respectful Red Piller way of referring to women they date casually (“spinning plates”).
I told the plates I’m not gonna meet them until the quarantine is over cause I don’t wanna risk but I don’t mind fishing for new ones. So since the outbreak of coronavirus I only had a new entry who came over and we had sex. I was an idiot, I shouldn’t have risked.
Mr. Swinger, who says he’s an Italian living in Eastern Europe, puts part of the blame on “racism,” by which he seems to mean that women in his area are wary of people connected to one of the countries hardest hit by the virus.
This being said I’m not trying to shift the blame outside of me but I notice a huge change in the ROI. When they ask I don’t DEER [NOTE: Deny Everything? Even I don’t know what this acronym means –DF] but know that the “where are you from shit test” is hard to pass because my name is easy to link to Italy.m, and I also know that coming out is a deal breaker even though I have the same odds of being infected as them and I’ve got a OCD about following the quarantine rules (the new entry came over before the “curfew”), washing everything, sterilising and all.
He wonders if he should just lie and say he’s from Colchester instead.
Should I change my name and let them assume otherwise? I’ve got the plausible deniability that I’ve lived in Colchester and, no, people can’t tell the difference when I speak.
Yeah, I’m sure no one can tell the difference between an Italian and a British accent.
Even the Red Pillers think Mr Swinger’s post is a bit much.
“Jesus Christ, get over yourself,” writes one. “There is a pandemic going on.”
“You can’t possibly be that dense,” adds another.
And then there’s this fellow, who ignores the OP and offers his risk-reward assessment of casual sex in the age of coronavirus. In his mind, the virus
Doesn’t mean you can’t have sex. Let’s look at it this way:
Door #1: You have sex with a girl, get COVID and die. No big deal.
Door #2: You go around like a fucking sperg with a face mask and try to stay isolated, then die because a random guy sneezed in your face. Congrats.
I would rather take door #1.
I would suggest that he indeed take door #1 if doing so wouldn’t put others at risk.
Math is hard.
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