By David Futrelle
Today’s insight into (cis) female nature comes from, well, some internet rando with very peculiar notions about childbirth.
Damn those Chad babies ruining MILFs for everyone else with penises!
H/T — r/BadWomensAnatomy
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My love for Satan is public knowledge, so I’m not surprised that this Internet philosopher is aware of it.
But my narassism! How did he know about that. This individual is a deep thinker.
As a mother, I feel I can say with absolute certainty that I have NEVER EVER felt further from orgasm than either time I was pushing out a 9-pound baby.
And the award for biggest anatomy fail goes to…
Someone’s been reading too much pregnancy erotica.
Anyway, apparently childbirth fetishism is a real thing, and according to the linked article some men genuinely do believe that giving birth gives women the biggest possible orgasm. I won’t add further commentary because I have no uterus and as a result have not, and cannot, give birth.
I’m not sure where the narcissism line comes from.
@Ooglyboggles
Projection?
Sweet gods, I need to remember not to read this site after eating. Just… how the fuck. These men are absolutely sick. 🙁
Trigger Warning – if you are grossed out about birth…don’t read this.
As a uterus having woman who has had 1 baby vaginally I can only wonder, how can this guy live in the human world and not know that giving birth hurts? It’s not a sexual experience at all.
Things that happened while I was giving birth: vomit, shit, heartburn, PAINFUL contractions that are worse than any ever experienced during menstruation or other abdominal distress, tearing and stitches in vulva, and all topped off with a full 2 weeks of vaginal bleeding.
Things that did not happen: orgasm.
I love my daughter but not because of the birth experience.
Side note:
Vikings believed women who died in childbirth went to live in Valhalla with warriors slain in battle. (is war orgasmic too?)
@Monday Middlemarch
I think some people fetishize war far too much, but I don’t think it’s orgasmic.
Though that does remind me of this song:
I delivered two children via c-section, and there was neither crowning nor this mythical orgasm. And yet, I adore them. So…hmmm.
So they believe women can orgasm now?
I guess that’s an improvement?
@Naglfar:
And not enough spelling manuals.
Holy shit.
I refuse to believe this isn’t bait. The bulk of the post strikes me as some redpill shit, whereas the little bit about satan at the end goes into conservative, probably traditional, Christian territory. If sincere, then that’s a pretty unusual ideological mix in my experience.
@Perry
I’m not sure it’s that unusual to see cross pollination of red pill and conservative Christian stuff. Roosh Valizadeh seems to have drifted between the two pretty easily, and the underlying misogyny is pretty similar.
Well, I’ve had a gyn dilate my cervix slightly to get an IUD in there back before the hysterectomy, and it was one of my most painful experiences. A baby coming out of there would stretch that tiny damn Ring of Pain out a LOT more than that. I can’t imagine anyone enjoying that even slightly unless there are women out there with magical numb cervixes.
Being in a maternity ward sounds like being in a horror film, you can hear constant screaming from every other poor woman that’s in there with you, and it sounds nothing like fake screaming. Trying to give birth was excruciating. Despite there never being any crowning after hours and hours of agony ( I had to have an emergency cesearean ) I love my child desperately.
This was bizarre because you can usually trace ridiculous MGTOW stories to some overly literal interpretation of a joke, or a misunderstanding of an urban myth. Not “no smoke without fire” but you know they saw some steam from a kettle. I’ve never come across an adult who didn’t know childbirth was painful.
I guess they might be deliberately misconstruing the hormonal bonding thing where a lot of women experience euphoric connection to their newborn AFTER the birth? After all, if you are so misogynistic and misanthropic you can’t understand love except in terms of selfishness the closest comparison you might have to that is a solo orgasm…
I would say two things :
* childbirth is rather painful despite the mother being extremely high on anti-pain hormones (in normal circumstance). That should point out that it’s not a terribly feel good moment
* women are perfectly able to hate someone that give them orgasms. Most, actually, value a lot of thing more than even powerful orgasms.
All else aside, do they realise that babies tend to come out head-first? I’m no expert, and I know baby heads are proportionately large, but there’s quite a bit of baby to come out. If you had an orgasm in the midst of something very painful, why would you remember the orgasm more than the pain?
This seems like the kind of thinking you get if you think that movie births are realistic. I get that people do not usually go out of their way to just hear stuff about childbirth, but how do you avoid it completely? I once had a classmate who liked to tell the story of his birth (because he’d got stuck and the midwife had to break a bone to get him out). I’m pretty sure I had to tell him on two separate occasions that I had in fact already heard the story and did not need a repeat. I’m sure there are other people who will tell you stuff like that even if you don’t ask them to.
Allow me to propose a hypothesis: the only reason you find this even remotely plausible, let alone likely, is because you’re so wrapped up in toxic masculinity as to be incapable of thinking of women in non-sexual terms, so you attribute everything a woman says or does to sex.
Apparently it can happen. According to Ina May Gaskin, midwife extraordinaire. It didn’t happen for me. But then I had an emergency c-section after days of labour.
Her natural childbirth book is fabulous. Though came as a shocker for me to see a mid-birth photograph of a woman I knew socially as a clothed person. Otherwise, the most comforting and informative book I read pre-partum.
Without a doubt the birth and post-birth experience was one of the worst of my life, but I still love my son.
A good orgasm leads me to a desire for more. As I recall, childbirth definitely did NOT.
My auntie had all three of her sons via c-section
As far as I can tell, she’s loved them for all 26 years of their lives.
They’re triplets and early, so c-section was the only option
Hypothetical anesthesiology question that’s semi-related:
Could someone hypothetically still feel an orgasm if they had an epidural?
I had some pretty intense physical sensations as my son squeezed out, but an orgasm most definitely wasn’t one of them.
@Perry
In my experience, such ideological mixes are quite common, because the ideology is only there to act as a post-hoc rationalization for what they person wanted to do anyway.
Consider former US Speaker of the House Paul Ryan’s claim that his two biggest influences were Jesus and Ayn Rand. He has to be lying about at least one of them (spoiler: it’s the first) but he can use whichever one suits his needs of the moment.
The “deeply held beliefs” of conservatives are remarkably fluid, but the one thing that is consistent is “Us Good, Them Bad.” Everything else is window dressing.