By David Futrelle
Yesterday, we looked at the “fellas, is it gay” meme — specifically, the way it highlights some of the preposterous (but real) beliefs that some men have about masculinity and gayness, finding examples of “gay panic” tied to everyday activities that are decidedly not related in any way to sexual orientation, like washing between your ass cheeks or ordering dessert in a restaurant.
But a lot of people doing this meme do it in a different way, mocking the very idea of asking “fellas is it gay” by making their questions deliberately absurd and often surreal. Here are some of my favorite ones in this particular genre.
If so, I am gay as hell.
Actually, that one might be a real question.
This poor woman has been scarred for life by this meme:
And speaking of butts, here’s a question for all you cat owners out there:
Huh. My cats, both ladies, just sniff each others anuses. Not sure what that means.
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If so, is it still gay if you use an InfoWars brand tactical butt wipe?
This reminds me of a Jay Smooth video.
An Old Person’s Guide to “No Homo”
Maybe not, but you’re on a dangerous path. Yearning leads to pining, which leads to longing, which leads to poetry. Could be bad poetry. Could be terrible poetry. You’ve been warned.
@Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Is it gay to not rhyme?
Is it gay to eat
the plums
that were in
the icebox
@Moggie
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
@Kat
The poetry will be bad. Bigots always write shitty poetry.
And they were next
to the white chickens
Goddamnit.
https://www.cp24.com/news/ontario-extends-state-of-emergency-until-may-12-1.4895867
It now looks like I’m going to miss the next MCU film because of this fucking virus. I’m pretty sure the release date was sometime in May, and the shitty little cinema here never holds onto a film for longer than three weeks, so if I haven’t seen it by three weeks after its release date, I never will. At least not until the blu-ray comes out a YEAR LATER. Grr!
It seems that Ontario’s anti-COVID measures are not doing a good enough job. The case growth rate, formerly a steady 12-ish percent a day, has been halved to 6% a day, but that is all. Only enough to delay the inevitable: that most of the population gets sick, and three or four percent of the population dies. What I can’t figure out is why it’s not been stopped in its tracks? The same degree of lockdown has squashed this thing dead in many other places after a few weeks, long enough for the existing cases to resolve and for the virus to die on surfaces that it had contaminated. Somewhere in the province there must be people moving around too much and meeting too many other people, keeping it spreading. Or is all the case growth now happening in institutional settings where people can’t isolate? Nursing homes (which this thing seems to turn into death traps), prisons, the hospitals themselves … Unfortunately I don’t see anywhere that breaks cases down by “where exposure most likely happened”, or even just by occupation and noting if the case was nosocomial or the patient was/is a prisoner.
If I had a certain glove and a certain six colorful stones this virus would not even exist anymore …
@Surplus
Can you get it online somehow?
@Moggie, Naglfar – Yay, I got the Mulan reference in the tweet and now I also get the William Carlos Williams one!
I’m not used to understanding so many cultural allusions at once! Quick, someone – allude to something I don’t know about so I can feel like myself again 😛
…On a less happy note, today I learned someone I know has COVID-19, a neighbour’s father. She hasn’t seen him in person for weeks so it’s not likely she’d catch it too, but he’s older and has kidney problems so his life could be at risk.
@Surplus – the virus is highlighting how terrible some nursing homes are. I don’t know if it’s as bad in Ontario as in Quebec, but there was one near my home where not only did the virus kill 30 people, but when some staff didn’t come in, the owners/senior staff/govt. (everyone seems to be blaming each other) didn’t call in extra workers and residents were left without food or water for a long time.
There were already damning reports of neglect in Quebec nursing homes, like people only getting baths once a week and getting infections because of unhygienic conditions. That was what, 3 years ago? Why do people put money ahead of human life so often?? 🙁
Streaming? a) no credit card b) not good enough broadband out here.
Torrent? Have to wait for the blu-ray to be out to get a rip of decent quality.
And neither results in seeing it on the big screen with the big sound, of course.
At least I’m in distinguished company. Billions of people might end up missing this one’s theatrical run. Which creates a whole new problem: the studio will consider it to be a flop and might cancel the whole rest of the series. OK, maybe not after just a single one bombs but if this drags on long enough the one scheduled for November will bomb as well and then it will not only be two, but two in a row.
@epitome
In relation to the post:
“What’s my problem, here’s my problem,
My problem’s that I’m too yearning to be straight,
Too straight to be gay, Too pre-occupied to wipe my ass,”
Rather doubt anyone will get that reference.
Unfortunately, that’s how capitalism runs. Here in the US, Republican senators are now openly declaring that it’s more important to save the economy than people.
@Surplus
So there’s no chance of torrenting it earlier? Someone out there must have access to early release copies and be willing to upload to torrent sites.
I think that’s unlikely seeing as the series has been quite profitable so far. It seems unlikely they’d cancel it just because of something rather unrelated to the films. More likely they’d postpone it for later, as other films and albums have been.
@Surplus
Best wishes that Ontario’s curve flattens quickly.
As for the MCU movie-I’m assuming it’s Black Widow-here’s the information I have so far. The virus delayed the US release date from May to November 6. Is this different in Canada?
My advice: It looks like your best bet would be to watch it on Disney+. If you don’t want to subscribe, you might be able to get a free trial around the time the movie hits the service.
Sorry, Surplus-just saw your comment about theaters or Blu-ray being the only options. I can’t see my comment to edit it, so I’m leaving this apology as a separate comment.
Yearning and poetry: To judge from ‘Hitch – Hiker’ even Vogons can yearn…
@Surplus – According to the Marvel website, Black Widow will now release November 6, 2020. The Marvel movies all got their release dates pushed back one slot on the calendar.
Fellas, is it gay to not drink a glass of water contaminated by cholera if another man will insult your manhood if you don’t?
Fellas, is it gay to be an egyptian peasant ?
I don’t think lockdown has stopped the virus in its tracks anywhere. The best it can do seems to be to hold it down to a 2% daily spread rate. (Comparing daily new cases to active cases, not to total cases)
There are a few countries doing better, but they’re doing a whole lot more than just issuing stay-at-home directives. South Korea is doing contact tracing on a massive scale. China did full-on population monitoring, with fever checks everywhere and enforced quarantine of everyone who who had it.
A 2% daily spread doesn’t necessarily mean everyone will get it. By my naive calculations, I think it’s low enough for the disease to die out. 2% daily would mean that the average sick person infects about 0.3 others over a 2-week period, right? (0.02 * 15 days)
And 2 weeks is approx the recovery time. So it’s going to take months but the disease will die out at that rate.
I live in Austria:
https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/austria/
Looks like we´re flattening the curve. So now the question is if we want to open things up again and un-flatten it…
@Naglfar:
Sorry, but skill at poetry is no guarantor of decency. T. S. Eliot has been argued to have been anti-semitic, Ezra Pound was openly fascist, ee cummings was a McCarthyite and arguably racist, and Philip Larkin was clearly racist and classist. I have no doubt there are plenty more examples.
Eliot: The poetry of prejudice
Pound: Ernest Hemingway Writes of His Fascist Friend Ezra Pound: “He Deserves Punishment and Disgrace” (1943)
cummings: Noted McCarthyite e.e. cummings Also Apparently Racist
Larkin: Philip Larkin, racist, bigot and poet
@Moggie
Fair enough, I was primarily referring to the type of internet hate mongers we discuss, I see how maybe other bigots could still write decent poetry.
It’s moved from ‘crab bucket’ to ‘crab bucket after Klatchian coffee or CMOT Dibbler’s sausage in a bun’.
@Moggie
Have you seen Lindsay Ellis’ video essay on Cats? She discusses the stage musical as well as the latest movie adaptation (with brief looks at the filmed stage performance), but also touches on Elliot’s worldview.
That video on cats was great. I also loved the one by Maggie Mae Fish.
Currently I am more obsessed with Lindsay’s latest video. Though admittedly the runtime gives it more replay-value.