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The Joy of MGTOW Cooking: Pancakes and Hot Dogs Edition

This guy isn’t a MGTOW, but he’s got the MGTOW spirit!

By David Futrelle

Men Going Their Own Way want the world to know that they can take care of themselves better than any woman could. Not only do they routinely bathe and dress themselves but they have even mastered some of the most advanced human-care tasks like interior decorating and even cooking.

And, oh are they proud of their cooking. So proud that on the rare occasion when they make something in the kitchen more advanced than a peanut butter sandwich they take pictures of their culinary masterpieces to share with the rest of their MGTOW comrades.

I’ve written about this before, but lo and behold the MGTOWs keep cooking, and they keep taking pictures, so let’s take another look at some of their most impressive recent dishes, courtesy of the MGTOW subreddit.

Here’s a healthy breakfast that covers all the major food groups: pancakes, apples, cheap syrup, and of course hog dogs. (I’m not quite sure what that other thing is; I think it’s an egg or two.)

You may wonder why this culinary wizard decided to substitute hot dogs for the more traditional sausage or bacon. “Didn’t have time or the will to run down to the store and grab sausages…” explained the cook, a fellow called bosslife242, “didn’t make a difference to be honest.”

Not noticing a difference between sausage and hot dogs is one of the signs of a truly refined palate.

This fellow, by contrast, didn’t skimp on the sausage. In fact, sausage is the only ingredient in his delicious sausage breakfast recipe. “Summer sausage is delicious but if you cook it or grill it…..OMFG!!!!!!” he explains. “By the way….this took place at 9am. Why? Because I’m free!”

This hearty dinner below couldn’t have taken very long to cook — if “cook” is even the right word for what happened to this ever-so-lightly braised chunk of manly meat, guaranteed to satisfy the carnivore inside all of us, especially if this carnivore also enjoys cramps, watery diarrhea. and the occasional tapeworm.

This next amazing meal — a wonderful combination of alleged omelet, past-its-prime broccoli and burnt bananas — took the cook only 28 minutes to make, though it’s possible he spent some of that time passed out on the floor of his kitchen, overwhelmed by the beauty of his creation.

Part of the joy of fine MGTOW cooking is the presentation. Here are some delicious-looking chicken wings arranged in a totally rad pattern that just screams sophistication.

Bon appetit!

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Lainy
Lainy
7 months ago

This looks like a heart attack

Naglfar
Naglfar
7 months ago

The first one looks edible, if a bit poorly presented. The rest seem either raw, burnt, or otherwise unappetizing.

It’s Passover right now, so my own diet is rather restricted. I somewhat wonder what the MGTOW take on Passover food would be, but I also can guess it wouldn’t be good and they’re all antisemites anyway.

Victorious Parasol
7 months ago

I can and have made coq au vin, Thai red curry, chicken adobo, chicken tikka masala, baklava, kolach, souvlakia, and many other dishes requiring a certain degree of culinary skill, so I am a bit of a foodie snob. However, all you really need to do to be a good cook is to be careful with your ingredients and pay attention from prep to plate.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I love MGTOW cuisine posts!

The chicken wing circle looks a bit like White Walker artistry

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Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
7 months ago

That piece of meat doesn’t look lightly brazed, it looks like he dropped on a dirt road somewhere.

Snowberry
Snowberry
7 months ago

Feh. I came down with the symptoms for that bug that’s been going around these days, right when I needed to go shopping again. So I’ve mostly been living off takeout in the past few days. Really not in the mood to cook. Can’t afford to do that every day for the few weeks needed to insure that I’m noninfectious, but at least I’m supporting local restaurants a little. I’m getting better, so I should start looking into what my local grocery delivery options are.

As for the topic, if anyone I knew ever took that kind of attitude, I’d tell them that yes, you can learn to cook for yourself and most people probably should, but don’t delude yourself into thinking you can be better than people with decades of practice.

Tyko
Tyko
7 months ago

Those are definitely eggs. That’s how they look when I make them, which I why I don’t take pictures let alone share them.

The bananas look good to me, tbh. But not photo-worthy. None of this is photo-worthy. They want adulation for basic (and even bad) cooking. Ay yi yi.

Snowberry
Snowberry
7 months ago

Also, I’ve never cooked eggs which looked like that even when I was a kid, so I don’t know what’s going on there.

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
7 months ago

Hey, I make eggs that look like that! Because they are easy. Since they’re cooked through, they don’t make a mess of your plate. Since they aren’t fully scrambled, they usually just slide out of the pan nicely.

I am lazy and hate scrubbing egg off pans. I am also under no delusions of grandeur or competency and do not share pictures of my ugly eggs. That one pretty spinach omelette? Yes! My ugly eggs? Nope.

Only, I usually add some basil and garlic salt and sometimes oregano? And Freshly diced onion if I’m feeling snazzy or dried chives if I’m lazy.

Dried spices are easy touches to add and make boring cheap food (eggs) less boring without increasing the cost too much. Especially if half the spices in your spice cabinet are raided from relatives-who-never-cook’s cabinets.

Naglfar
Naglfar
7 months ago

@Tyko

They want adulation for basic (and even bad) cooking.

As a whole, the manosphere wants applause for every tiny thing. It seems much of the time like they are expecting to be serenaded by the world just for getting out of bed. So much entitlement.

@Snowberry
Hope you feel better soon.

Perry
Perry
7 months ago

Genuinely don’t understand how making pancakes and chicken wings once in a while just like everyone else is somehow indicative of male freedom. Is there some sort of phenomenon were women at-large don’t allow their male partners to cook meals? Or is it the fact that they might be expected to share?

Naglfar
Naglfar
7 months ago

@Perry
I think it’s because they think women are only good for sex and cooking, so they see being able to (sort of) cook as rendering women useless. I could be wrong, but the whole thing does seem to have that kind of attitude to it.

Correction Automatique
Correction Automatique
7 months ago

Do any of these culinary masterpieces come with a side of Nexium?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I also think that even though it’s considered a fact in the manosphere that women are bad because we don’t cook for our men anymore, they still think that women view cooking as something we’ve cornered the market on. So if men can manage to feed themselves, we’ll feel really terrified that they won’t want us anymore.

Naglfar
Naglfar
7 months ago

@WWTH

So if men can manage to feed themselves, we’ll feel really terrified that they won’t want us anymore.

Well, I can’t speak for everyone else, but if learning to cook keeps MGTOWs away from me, I say go for it.
As we’ve discussed before, the MGTOW attitude is basically expecting people to care when they leave, repeatedly telling people how much they’ll miss them, then never leaving because on some level they realize nobody would miss them.

Hexum7
Hexum7
7 months ago

It’s simple, really- in their minds only simps, fem-men and foids care about what they eat, how it looks and take the time to prepare even the most low-rent versions of culinary arts (arts= teh gays)

So, by showing off barely edible, disgusting looking food that looks like a fire lien child prepared it they are proving they are manly he-men who are sticking it to….the man?

galanx
galanx
7 months ago

Not only do they routinely bathe and dress themselves

I’d want confirmation on this, but I’d hate to see the visuals.

mark stephen grieger
mark stephen grieger
7 months ago

I cook everyday for my 87 year old mom. I post pics of the good meals as do a lot of my friends, none of us are mgtows (as far as I know) a lot are married and myself, my ex and I get along fairly well. Before the corona thing she would cook for us every Thursday and occasionally help us when going to doctor appointments. (you hit a sore point, I like cooking and when the meal looks good, I take pics and share them!)

TB Tabby
TB Tabby
7 months ago

Sheesh, I could do better than this, and the limit of my culinary wizardry is adding Campbell’s grilled chicken & Sausage gumbo to Prego pasta sauce.

gijoel
gijoel
7 months ago

That steak was so raw a werewolf wouldn’t eat it.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
7 months ago

“Summer sausage is delicious but if you cook it or grill it…..OMFG!!!!!!” he explains.

It’s true. The raw stuff is delicious. Kinda, sorta. But if you cook or grill summer sausage and serve it on a paper plate — that’s an amazing breakfast.

“By the way….this took place at 9am. Why? Because I’m free!”

His ex-wife wouldn’t let him in the kitchen before 10 a.m. Just another one of her stupid rules.

Katzentier
Katzentier
7 months ago

My omelets do at times come out like that too, usually when i have decided that its too much effort to not break it up to turn it around. One of my favorite quick meals is omelet/scrambled eggs with spinach (and whatever other good stuff you have at home… tomatoes, onion, nomnom). I do love spinach. Mine are much yellower tho… courtesy to my neighbours happy, free roaming chickens. <3

Men that can cook a decent, healthy meal are quite attractive. These guys… yeah, not so much.

Moggie
Moggie
7 months ago

I thought we wanted MGTOWs to talk about their hobbies, rather than complaining all the time?

Alyssa
Alyssa
7 months ago

The MGTOW cooking posts are my FAVOURITE.

Really makes you wonder what some of these guys are eating on the regular, considering that these are the dishes they choose to spotlight as examples of culinary mastery. What on earth do they normally eat, if basic cooking is such an accomplishment rather than a basic adult expectation?Were their moms cooking for them up until now? Do they just live off of beef jerky and take-out?? I am truly concerned 😟

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
7 months ago

I always have mixed feelings about these, because I don’t really know how to cook and don’t really care either. Anything outside of my usual routine is like a huge chore that I don’t wan to take on. But I don’t really expect anyone to praise me when I do get round to it.

It’s like they think cooking is some sort of forbidden feminine art and their stumbling towards it in the dark is worthy of admiration and documentation. Like it’s not something you could just learn.

Plus I’m just really confused if 9 am is supposed to be too early or too late for that sausage fest. If the point is that he’s so free he can do whatever he wants at whatever time he chooses, why not say that instead of 9 am specifically, without saying if it’s the time the picture was taken, or when the project started or when it was finished. So many questions!

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
7 months ago

@Moggie

I thought we wanted MGTOWs to talk about their hobbies, rather than complaining all the time?

We do. And I enjoyed these MGTOWs’ offhand narratives about their culinary creations. It was a nice departure from their usual conversation: threats against women. Recipes, please!

Victorious Parasol
7 months ago

@Masse_Mysteria

I was wondering about the 9 AM brag, too! ‘Cos … have breakfast whenever you want to. That has nothing to do with being a man and everything to do with being an adult who can make decisions about food. Sometimes when I just need a quick dinner, I’ve had WAFFLES. Because being an adult means I can make my own choices about what to eat. Besides, my grocery’s store-brand multigrain waffles are a delicious way to get my regulated intake of carbs.

Naglfar
Naglfar
7 months ago

@galanx

I’d want confirmation on this

I doubt you’ll find much, seeing as they could quite easily be just like those guys who don’t wipe their butts because they think it’s gay.

@Masse_mysteria

It’s like they think cooking is some sort of forbidden feminine art and their stumbling towards it in the dark is worthy of admiration and documentation.

What makes me laugh about this is that when I was growing up, my father did all the cooking, so I know that men can cook. It just seems weird to me that MGTOWs see this is sticking it to the women, seeing as most women (myself included) would probably like a partner that can cook (though certainly not an MGTOW).

I read the 9 AM brag as saying he’s independent and implying that he can do breakfast whenever. Evidently he doesn’t know that 9 AM isn’t a very unusual time to eat breakfast. In fact, many people who host brunch host it later than that. Though I guess brunch wouldn’t be manly enough.

occasional reader
occasional reader
7 months ago

So, that is what they call sausage parties…

Anyway, in the first picture, rather than egg/omelet, could not it be a foiled crêpe ?

Simon
Simon
7 months ago

Pfft, real men cook pig’s blood pancakes. And they don’t half-arsedly warm a steak, they go full steak tartare.

Naglfar
Naglfar
7 months ago

@Simon
I recall a while ago someone making blood pancakes with their own blood.

C.A. Collins
C.A. Collins
7 months ago

I’d happily eat that steak, not just during a full moon. I like raw meat, or mostly raw meat.
Can’t say I’m fond of cooked summer sausage, but hey, to each their own.
Hot dogs=\=breakfast sausage.
The omelette might work better with the broccoli chopped fine and cooked in, but fried bananas are exquisite.
And now I’m hungry. I think I’ll fry a banana.
Later.

Dr. Potatoes
Dr. Potatoes
7 months ago

I think the brag might be about the breakfast beer on the counter there. Which I’m not particularly impressed by, I’ve been known to make a great beermosa with my breakfast on the weekends, or if I’m making scotch eggs a nice porter or oatmeal stout will go along with that straight up.

Of course, I’m the exact thing these guys hate, so maybe my opinion isn’t valid here. I’m a lady who loves to cook and have a particular set of tried-and-true recipes I’ll bust out if I’m really trying to win a guy over. I’m living in a community setting right now (military barracks) with a common kitchen and after a handful of times letting people sample what I’ve cooked, if I walk into that kitchen the guys start to hover around like moths to a flame. Turns out if I feed enough of them, I don’t have to do the dishes, so it’s a great trade off in my opinion. And I’ve been teaching some of them to cook. It’s astounding what some guys will settle for to feed themselves (grilled spam and a bagel? For dinner, dude?) and still bitch about the food at the chow hall.

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
7 months ago

Grilled bananas are nice. With cinnamon and vanilla ice cream.

I cook as much as my spoon supply allows.

Sometimes I experiment. That works out about 90% of the time. When it doesn’t, the results are dire.

Chris Hall
Chris Hall
7 months ago

That banana and egg mess; is it just me or has the plate it’s served on got the most un-MGTOW pattern on it?

@Simon
Pig’s blood pancakes are called black pudding here in the UK and are an essential part of a full English breakfast, and are quite frankly delicious.

I once accidentally ordered andouillette in a Parisienne cafe. It was my own fault, the descriptions were complete and in English. It did say that it was sausage made with intestines, and I thought that I know full well what goes into sausages so it shouldn’t be a problem. I was mistaken.

But, I certainly wasn’t going to show myself up as an idiot Englishman in front of the locals so I did eat it. To be honest it didn’t taste too bad, but the texture…

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 months ago

@ Chris

I thought that I know full well what goes into sausages

People who admire sausages and law avoid seeing either being made.”

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 months ago

this took place at 9 am

This sounds like someone describing a crime scene to the police.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
7 months ago

Speaking of blokes and cooking…

comment image

indigotea
indigotea
7 months ago

The summer sausage guy looked like he had a bottle of beer as his beverage.

Which might explain his excessive pride in being “free” enough to pan-fry meat at 9 a.m. That’s the one the really puzzles me. I’ve never felt enslaved by the time of day I cook breakfast food? It’s 10:57 a.m. and I’m going to start making shrimp broth…why? Because I’M FREE! (And because that stock has *got* to reduce if I’m going to have it for dinner).

The plantains look good, they’re actually better if they’re a little burnt, at least to me. I love plantains for breakfast but they’re always a gamble in that you have to cook them after the skins turn black but before they’re actually spoiled. They’d be better if they weren’t encircling the rest of that crap, though.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 months ago

Imagine if these guys were like “I was raised to believe that my wife would do all the cooking for me, and then I found out that’s not actually how the world works. Now I’m really trying to develop these skills that I didn’t learn as a kid. This is an early attempt. What do you think?” Or “I’m a pretty poor cook, but I’m still learning. Does anyone have any advice?” Or “I hate cooking, but I know enough to keep myself alive and so can you!” I feel like my reactions might include some sympathy or happiness as they continue to grow.

But instead they’re like “Hey, look at this terrible meal I made. FUCK YOU, WOMEN.” Mocking is the only available response.

Naglfar
Naglfar
7 months ago

@Viscaria

Imagine if these guys were like “I was raised to believe that my wife would do all the cooking for me, and then I found out that’s not actually how the world works. Now I’m really trying to develop these skills that I didn’t learn as a kid. This is an early attempt. What do you think?” Or “I’m a pretty poor cook, but I’m still learning. Does anyone have any advice?” Or “I hate cooking, but I know enough to keep myself alive and so can you!”

I’d feel very differently then, but I think that that’s pretty unlikely. MGTOWs will never change unless they leave the toxic movement and the conservative death cult.

Moggie
Moggie
7 months ago

At the moment, I’m baking, for the first time in years (a simple wholemeal loaf, nothing fancy). I’m not going to crow about it, because I’m using a bread machine: no skill involved. But the smell alone is making me think I should do this more often!

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
7 months ago

@Moggie

I’m not going to crow about it, because I’m using a bread machine: no skill involved.

Didn’t Roosh do a whole bit about how he was a manly bread scientist or something when he started using a bread machine?

That took me for a spin because when I was a kid, my family had a bread machine and I think the selling point with it was that it had a timer or something and we could have freshly baked bread first thing in the morning, which was sweet.

Naglfar
Naglfar
7 months ago

@Masse_mysteria

Didn’t Roosh do a whole bit about how he was a manly bread scientist or something when he started using a bread machine?

Yeah, he did. And the bread wasn’t even very good-looking in his pictures. His masculinity is so fragile he had to make up the whole justification about how it is manly man science to put ingredients in a machine and let it do all the work.

I have a bread machine, and the majority of the bread I’ve made with it looks much better than Roosh’s. Now that he’s a fundamentalist Christian, I wonder if he’ll try putting fish in the machine to attempt to turn them into loaves

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
7 months ago

This morning I had a cheddar and green Chile scramble. Wonderfully tasty, yes, but photo-worthy? Absolutely not.

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
7 months ago

green Chile… thanks autocorrect!!

Seth S
Seth S
7 months ago

ehh that prime rib looks pretty okay to me. Prime rib is most tender and juicy when it’s on the rare side and you’re definitely not meant to go past medium or it gets dry and tough. Have you never had prime rib??? I mean, if you just don’t eat red meat for whatever reason, please disregard, you do you, but if you do eat red meat on occasion and you haven’t had a really good prime rib, you ARE missing out.

It is, however, the only thing here that looks plausibly palatable to me. That lonely little sliced dry potato with the prime rib is just sad. I can’t fathom frying a summer sausage. Hot dogs the same as sausages?!
Can we please get Burnt “Fried” Banana Broccoli Guy to team up with Questionable-Omelet Cheap Syrup Pancake Guy for an attempt at some Bananas Foster pancakes and chop the broccoli to put INTO the omelet? And everything else… what were they thinking? These are crimes against food, someone call Gordon Ramsey.

Seth S
Seth S
7 months ago

On second thought at least these guys are taking up a more constructive hobby than bitching about women, so I’m all for them attempting to make food and showing it off. And if they actually learn enough to turn it into a skill, so much the better for everybody because then they’re that much closer to ACTUALLY going their own way or else, God forbid, learning to appreciate the people who are expected to automatically have the food-making skill.

Gordon Ramsay could still help with that. Apparently he’s got a whole youtube series meant for teaching newbs to cook. And he’s a guy so they might actually take him seriously and learn.

Allandrel
Allandrel
7 months ago

Funny thing is, I’m a forty-year-old single man who, for the last two weeks, has started cooking due to, y’know, THE PESTILENCE.

I signed up for one of those meal kit subscriptions. Along with not having to go to the grocery store as much, it’s been a way of expanding my limited and incurious palate.

And while the service that I went with touts how easy it is, it’s still WAY beyond anything these guys are trying. We’re talking combining multiple ingredients into a single dish and use of seasonings. Really advanced stuff.

And yet at no point have I stood back and thought “Take THAT, femoids!”

Naglfar
Naglfar
7 months ago

@Seth S

learning to appreciate the people who are expected to automatically have the food-making skill.

Eh, I wouldn’t get my hopes up too high. It seems more likely that they’d just declare themselves to be better at it because they’re men.