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The Joy of MGTOW Cooking: Pancakes and Hot Dogs Edition

This guy isn’t a MGTOW, but he’s got the MGTOW spirit!

By David Futrelle

Men Going Their Own Way want the world to know that they can take care of themselves better than any woman could. Not only do they routinely bathe and dress themselves but they have even mastered some of the most advanced human-care tasks like interior decorating and even cooking.

And, oh are they proud of their cooking. So proud that on the rare occasion when they make something in the kitchen more advanced than a peanut butter sandwich they take pictures of their culinary masterpieces to share with the rest of their MGTOW comrades.

I’ve written about this before, but lo and behold the MGTOWs keep cooking, and they keep taking pictures, so let’s take another look at some of their most impressive recent dishes, courtesy of the MGTOW subreddit.

Here’s a healthy breakfast that covers all the major food groups: pancakes, apples, cheap syrup, and of course hog dogs. (I’m not quite sure what that other thing is; I think it’s an egg or two.)

You may wonder why this culinary wizard decided to substitute hot dogs for the more traditional sausage or bacon. “Didn’t have time or the will to run down to the store and grab sausages…” explained the cook, a fellow called bosslife242, “didn’t make a difference to be honest.”

Not noticing a difference between sausage and hot dogs is one of the signs of a truly refined palate.

This fellow, by contrast, didn’t skimp on the sausage. In fact, sausage is the only ingredient in his delicious sausage breakfast recipe. “Summer sausage is delicious but if you cook it or grill it…..OMFG!!!!!!” he explains. “By the way….this took place at 9am. Why? Because I’m free!”

This hearty dinner below couldn’t have taken very long to cook — if “cook” is even the right word for what happened to this ever-so-lightly braised chunk of manly meat, guaranteed to satisfy the carnivore inside all of us, especially if this carnivore also enjoys cramps, watery diarrhea. and the occasional tapeworm.

This next amazing meal — a wonderful combination of alleged omelet, past-its-prime broccoli and burnt bananas — took the cook only 28 minutes to make, though it’s possible he spent some of that time passed out on the floor of his kitchen, overwhelmed by the beauty of his creation.

Part of the joy of fine MGTOW cooking is the presentation. Here are some delicious-looking chicken wings arranged in a totally rad pattern that just screams sophistication.

Bon appetit!

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Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

This looks like a heart attack

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

The first one looks edible, if a bit poorly presented. The rest seem either raw, burnt, or otherwise unappetizing.

It’s Passover right now, so my own diet is rather restricted. I somewhat wonder what the MGTOW take on Passover food would be, but I also can guess it wouldn’t be good and they’re all antisemites anyway.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
4 years ago

I can and have made coq au vin, Thai red curry, chicken adobo, chicken tikka masala, baklava, kolach, souvlakia, and many other dishes requiring a certain degree of culinary skill, so I am a bit of a foodie snob. However, all you really need to do to be a good cook is to be careful with your ingredients and pay attention from prep to plate.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I love MGTOW cuisine posts!

The chicken wing circle looks a bit like White Walker artistry

comment image

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
4 years ago

That piece of meat doesn’t look lightly brazed, it looks like he dropped on a dirt road somewhere.

Snowberry
Snowberry
4 years ago

Feh. I came down with the symptoms for that bug that’s been going around these days, right when I needed to go shopping again. So I’ve mostly been living off takeout in the past few days. Really not in the mood to cook. Can’t afford to do that every day for the few weeks needed to insure that I’m noninfectious, but at least I’m supporting local restaurants a little. I’m getting better, so I should start looking into what my local grocery delivery options are.

As for the topic, if anyone I knew ever took that kind of attitude, I’d tell them that yes, you can learn to cook for yourself and most people probably should, but don’t delude yourself into thinking you can be better than people with decades of practice.

Tyko
Tyko
4 years ago

Those are definitely eggs. That’s how they look when I make them, which I why I don’t take pictures let alone share them.

The bananas look good to me, tbh. But not photo-worthy. None of this is photo-worthy. They want adulation for basic (and even bad) cooking. Ay yi yi.

Snowberry
Snowberry
4 years ago

Also, I’ve never cooked eggs which looked like that even when I was a kid, so I don’t know what’s going on there.

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
4 years ago

Hey, I make eggs that look like that! Because they are easy. Since they’re cooked through, they don’t make a mess of your plate. Since they aren’t fully scrambled, they usually just slide out of the pan nicely.

I am lazy and hate scrubbing egg off pans. I am also under no delusions of grandeur or competency and do not share pictures of my ugly eggs. That one pretty spinach omelette? Yes! My ugly eggs? Nope.

Only, I usually add some basil and garlic salt and sometimes oregano? And Freshly diced onion if I’m feeling snazzy or dried chives if I’m lazy.

Dried spices are easy touches to add and make boring cheap food (eggs) less boring without increasing the cost too much. Especially if half the spices in your spice cabinet are raided from relatives-who-never-cook’s cabinets.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Tyko

They want adulation for basic (and even bad) cooking.

As a whole, the manosphere wants applause for every tiny thing. It seems much of the time like they are expecting to be serenaded by the world just for getting out of bed. So much entitlement.

@Snowberry
Hope you feel better soon.

Perry
Perry
4 years ago

Genuinely don’t understand how making pancakes and chicken wings once in a while just like everyone else is somehow indicative of male freedom. Is there some sort of phenomenon were women at-large don’t allow their male partners to cook meals? Or is it the fact that they might be expected to share?

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Perry
I think it’s because they think women are only good for sex and cooking, so they see being able to (sort of) cook as rendering women useless. I could be wrong, but the whole thing does seem to have that kind of attitude to it.

Correction Automatique
Correction Automatique
4 years ago

Do any of these culinary masterpieces come with a side of Nexium?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I also think that even though it’s considered a fact in the manosphere that women are bad because we don’t cook for our men anymore, they still think that women view cooking as something we’ve cornered the market on. So if men can manage to feed themselves, we’ll feel really terrified that they won’t want us anymore.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@WWTH

So if men can manage to feed themselves, we’ll feel really terrified that they won’t want us anymore.

Well, I can’t speak for everyone else, but if learning to cook keeps MGTOWs away from me, I say go for it.
As we’ve discussed before, the MGTOW attitude is basically expecting people to care when they leave, repeatedly telling people how much they’ll miss them, then never leaving because on some level they realize nobody would miss them.

Hexum7
Hexum7
4 years ago

It’s simple, really- in their minds only simps, fem-men and foids care about what they eat, how it looks and take the time to prepare even the most low-rent versions of culinary arts (arts= teh gays)

So, by showing off barely edible, disgusting looking food that looks like a fire lien child prepared it they are proving they are manly he-men who are sticking it to….the man?

galanx
galanx
4 years ago

Not only do they routinely bathe and dress themselves

I’d want confirmation on this, but I’d hate to see the visuals.

mark stephen grieger
mark stephen grieger
4 years ago

I cook everyday for my 87 year old mom. I post pics of the good meals as do a lot of my friends, none of us are mgtows (as far as I know) a lot are married and myself, my ex and I get along fairly well. Before the corona thing she would cook for us every Thursday and occasionally help us when going to doctor appointments. (you hit a sore point, I like cooking and when the meal looks good, I take pics and share them!)

TB Tabby
TB Tabby
4 years ago

Sheesh, I could do better than this, and the limit of my culinary wizardry is adding Campbell’s grilled chicken & Sausage gumbo to Prego pasta sauce.

gijoel
gijoel
4 years ago

That steak was so raw a werewolf wouldn’t eat it.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
4 years ago

“Summer sausage is delicious but if you cook it or grill it…..OMFG!!!!!!” he explains.

It’s true. The raw stuff is delicious. Kinda, sorta. But if you cook or grill summer sausage and serve it on a paper plate — that’s an amazing breakfast.

“By the way….this took place at 9am. Why? Because I’m free!”

His ex-wife wouldn’t let him in the kitchen before 10 a.m. Just another one of her stupid rules.

Katzentier
Katzentier
4 years ago

My omelets do at times come out like that too, usually when i have decided that its too much effort to not break it up to turn it around. One of my favorite quick meals is omelet/scrambled eggs with spinach (and whatever other good stuff you have at home… tomatoes, onion, nomnom). I do love spinach. Mine are much yellower tho… courtesy to my neighbours happy, free roaming chickens. <3

Men that can cook a decent, healthy meal are quite attractive. These guys… yeah, not so much.

Moggie
Moggie
4 years ago

I thought we wanted MGTOWs to talk about their hobbies, rather than complaining all the time?

Alyssa
Alyssa
4 years ago

The MGTOW cooking posts are my FAVOURITE.

Really makes you wonder what some of these guys are eating on the regular, considering that these are the dishes they choose to spotlight as examples of culinary mastery. What on earth do they normally eat, if basic cooking is such an accomplishment rather than a basic adult expectation?Were their moms cooking for them up until now? Do they just live off of beef jerky and take-out?? I am truly concerned ?

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
4 years ago

I always have mixed feelings about these, because I don’t really know how to cook and don’t really care either. Anything outside of my usual routine is like a huge chore that I don’t wan to take on. But I don’t really expect anyone to praise me when I do get round to it.

It’s like they think cooking is some sort of forbidden feminine art and their stumbling towards it in the dark is worthy of admiration and documentation. Like it’s not something you could just learn.

Plus I’m just really confused if 9 am is supposed to be too early or too late for that sausage fest. If the point is that he’s so free he can do whatever he wants at whatever time he chooses, why not say that instead of 9 am specifically, without saying if it’s the time the picture was taken, or when the project started or when it was finished. So many questions!

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