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coronavirus empathy deficit gender policing lgbt misogyny TERFs transmisogyny transphobia

Gender Critical Redditor: The coronavirus could destroy fashion … and also “the whole stupid concept of transgenderism”

Working from home, not wearing pants

By David Futrelle

So-called “gender critical feminists” can become quite ingenious when it comes to working their transphobic obsessions into conversaations that have nothing whatsoever to do with trans people or trans issues.

Consider a recent post in the GenderCritical subreddit that’s ostensibly about “fashion in the time of coronavirus self-isolation.” The author, calling herself itsnotaboutewe, sets forth a relatively straightforward argument: since people are dressing like slobs while working from home, maybe they’ll get used to this new sartorial freedom and won’t bother to dress up after the lockdowns come to an end, this bringing about the end of fashion.

“With so many people now working from home,” she writes,

it doesn’t take too long to figure out what to wear to work anymore. Some people wear sweatpants to sit in front of the computer while others don’t even bother to change out of their pyjamas. …

The clothes that our culture dictates we wear to look the part for our jobs are no longer needed. It doesn’t matter if we don’t dye our hair or shave our legs in order to look professional for clients if they can’t see us. There is no boss enforcing an uncomfortable dress code on women of high heels, tight pencil-skirts, stockings, makeup, and push-up bras.

No, but some people are continuing to dress up, even if they know no one will be seeing them, because it makes them feel more normal, more connected to the world before (and presumably after) the lockdowns.

I mean, I personally am dressing like a slob while I work at home during lockdown, but I was doing that already.

Even doing the weekly trip to buy essential groceries doesn’t require us to dress to a certain standard anymore.

No, but again I know that some people who are now making a point of dressing up when they go out, even if it’s just to the grocery store People seem to be divided down the middle on the whole dressing-like-a-slob-because-you-can question.

It’s like we are in survival mode but instead of wearing cammo we are in knitted jersey and crocs with socks. I haven’t worn a bra since February and quite frankly I can’t think of any person or situation I consider to be bra-worthy anymore.

itsnotaboutewe wonders if these habits will stick after the lockdowns come to an end, and concludes that they probably will.

Is this the end of fashion as we know it? By the time we are allowed back in public together again we will have missed at least three fashion cycles. We will all be wearing last years styles but I don’t think anyone will be able to make us care about it anymore. Who will honestly give a rat’s arse if they are wearing last seasons colours?

Either that or they may jump back into fashion even more enthusiastically than before because they’ve been deprived of it for so long.

Regardless of whether or not you agree with itsnotaboutewe’s argument — I obviously have some issues with it — it is at least a real argument. The premises may be a little off, I would argue, but it makes a certain logical sense.

That can’t really be said about where her argument goes next.

“I hope this massive societal upheaval goes some way to destroying fashion as a way of forcing women to conform to stereotypes,” she writes.

Perhaps cross-dressing men will at last realise they can wear whatever they want without having to pretend to be women, and we can leave the whole stupid concept of transgenderism behind us.

What the hell? This is what you might call a stretch, and then some. Trans women don’t dress the ways they do — in clothes ranging from traditionally feminine to androgynous — in order to “pretend to be women” like the stereotypical drag queens that itsnotaboutewe clearly pictures when she thinks about trans women. Trans women dress in these varied ways because they are women. Maybe some trans women dress in more conventionally feminine ways than this particular “gender critical feminist” would like, but so do some cis women.

Indeed, so do some cis women who consider themselves “gender critical feminists.” Though itsnotaboutewe’s post got nearly 80 upvotes from her colleagues in the GenderCritical subreddit, quite a few of those commenting on it disagree mightily with her argument.

“I work from home in general, as well as during the pandemic and I still get up every day, put on makeup, shower, shave and put on leggings and a t-shirt,” notes one commenter.

I find I’m more productive when I like the way I look and feel more “ready to go”. I just feel so BLAH when I pass the mirror and see under eye bags.

No need for pencil skirts and heels (although I live in a city where no one really wears that anyway to work but lawyers because it’s too cold and everything is casual) but spending some effort (to whatever you standard is) I think it still really important because WE see us.

“Getting dressed helps me keep from getting too depressed,” writes another.

Today I wore a dress with happy tropical fruit on it. It keeps the feeling of the world being totally out of control at bay.

Huh. I wonder if it has ever occurred to any GenderCrits that maybe some trans women dress the ways they do for the very same reason: it makes them feel like themselves?

Just a thought, GenderCrits.

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'mantha
'mantha
5 months ago

Yeah, I’ve had people say to me “Why don’t you just wear what you like, you don’t need to pretend to be a woman”. Telling them I was wearing skirts in public for over 20 years – trying very hard to be a gender non-conforming man as a means of resolving my confusion – before eventually realising that I had to transition because I’m actually female made no difference. Because as usual they’re not interested in evidence.

Believe me, I interrogated my own motives for far longer and more stringently than any GC or anyone else is ever going to!

Also, I like nice clothes (usually from charity shops) but have never had a clue about what’s supposed to be ‘in fashion’ at any given moment. This can’t be uncommon, surely.

Tyke
Tyke
5 months ago

My nonbinary self enjoys fashion as a hobby. I enjoyed it before, I’m enjoying it now, and I’ll enjoy it when the madness is over. I hope more people are able to opt out of fashion in the future and just wear what they want, because freedom of expression.
Her commentary on transpeople is nonsense, of course.

Isn’t this the same person who hoped the pandemic would make transwomen sad?

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

destroying fashion as a way of forcing women to conform to stereotypes

I’m all for ending stereotypes and enforcing them on women (and men and NBs and everyone else), but I don’t think it’s necessary to destroy fashion. In fact, I can see how fashion can be liberating. Since cracking my egg, I’ve realized that I do like fashion, I just hated having to wear men’s clothing, so I’ve been learning more about the world of fashion. Obviously I can’t buy more for my wardrobe right now, but I plan to when it is safe to do so.

Perhaps cross-dressing men will at last realise they can wear whatever they want without having to pretend to be women, and we can leave the whole stupid concept of transgenderism behind us.

I don’t know who this TERF thinks she’s kidding. Even if we ignore trans* people for a minute and entertain this horrible argument, we all know that TERFs relentlessly mock GNC cis people (like how they harassed a teenager who was doing drag).

I find I’m more productive when I like the way I look and feel more “ready to go”. I just feel so BLAH when I pass the mirror and see under eye bags.

Getting dressed helps me keep from getting too depressed

I hate to agree with a TERF on anything, but I can relate with these sentiments. I’ve been showering, shaving, and getting dressed each day because it helps me keep some element of stability in my life. If only TERFs could understand that I’m getting dressed for the same reasons they are.

@Tyke
It does appear to be the same Redditor. Imagine living such a pathetic life that all you do is blather online about why you want bad things to happen to trans* women.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
5 months ago

I was a teenager in the USA when the second wave of feminism hit the shore of my consciousness. This was the late 1960s and early 1970s. Most of the feminists I was familiar with (through feminist meetings, books, and magazines) were young but still much older than me (20s and 30s), and eschewed fashion and makeup as sexist and mainstream. I loved fashion (I read my small-town newspaper for news about the fashion shows in Paris) and makeup, but I certainly understood feminist arguments about women’s restrictive roles, rampant consumerism, and capitalism.

For about five years I didn’t wear makeup. And except on rare occasions I didn’t wear anything fancier than jeans and a T-shirt. But I never lost my love of fashion and makeup. Eventually, I got jobs (low-paying jobs but still . . . ) at companies where most of the women looked more professional, so I did too.

These days, I’m a climate-conscious and socially conscious minimalist. I buy organic, fair trade clothing when possible (Peopletree, Fair Indigo, and Decent Exposures are some of my favorites). And I check the Environmental Working Group online for information on what’s in beauty products.

Fashion has changed a lot since I was a teenager. It used to be that if you wore something old, you were seriously uncool. Seriously. Nowadays, hemlines and colors and fabrics can be worn for quite a while. Decades, if you want to go the vintage route. Nobody wore vintage when I was a teenager. And although I can’t wear vintage clothing (it’s usually dry cleaned and I can’t tolerate those chemicals), it’s the most environmentally friendly way to go.

Lainy
Lainy
5 months ago

I still wear a dress everyday because I like dresses. Dressing nice and liking how I look really helped me get out of my depression. And I still wear lipstick most days because I like it a lot. I’m also a cis woman so she will probably claim I’m still brain washed. but to be honest if I get into sweat pants or in pjs all day that means I’m either physically sick or my depression is killing me. If I don’t feel good it reflects on my physically appearance a lot.

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

@Lainy

I’m also a cis woman so she will probably claim I’m still brain washed.

I’ve also seen TERFs claim that cis women that don’t agree with them are actually men, so that’s another accusation they might throw out. So much for supposedly being able to instantly tell anyone’s assigned at birth sex without even seeing them.

Bakunin
Bakunin
5 months ago

Once again, TERFs cannot distinguish between GNC men and trans women

Lainy
Lainy
5 months ago

@Naglfar

I’m not surprised. I can’t think of a single actually “feminists” thing that any terf actually does. I try to stay away from them. Since I am a cis woman that was assaulted in a public rest room by a cis gender man, they love to use my situation for the no trans gender people in their perfured bathroom thing. It’s hurtful and I once told a woman that her doing that sounds like the racists people that also use the same story for their agenda since I’m a white woman who was attacked by a latino man. She did not take to kindly to her bigotry being use against her. Terfs will use rape survivors as token for their agenda and then beat that rape survivor if they don’t fit the niche.

A terf is what I would call a fine outstanding bigeot. There nose so close to the grindstone they can’t even see anything else around them. They stick their ignorance as the world changes around them and their proud of that. and they don’t care who they hurt or get killed.

Snowberry
Snowberry
5 months ago

@Bakunin

Once again, TERFs cannot distinguish between GNC men and trans women

Because trans people cannot exist according to their perception of gender, so they have to find other explanations. “Trans women are just confused gender non-conforming men” is one of their common alternatives to “trans women exist”.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent, Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent, Bard of the New Movement
5 months ago

Nonbinary person here. I’ve mostly been thinking about how I want to get more shirts like the undershirt I’ve been wearing, because it looks really good but I only have one.

Also, out of not wanting to fucking bother, I’ve pulled up a long skirt with an elastic waistband up over my chest and used it as a dress so I can go outside of my room without putting anything more on. (I live with my family, so it’s kind of necessary.)

Not to mention, I also have to dress up for online classes–at least wearing a shirt and something below.

That being said, I haven’t worn bra nor binder in weeks now.

What a life we live.

rv97
rv97
5 months ago

Speaking of clothes, I just find myself envious of cis women I consider attractive and what they can wear openly and in more situations. Quarantine kind of isn’t helping that since I’m stuck with parents who are not very accepting of this sort of stuff.

The fact that TERFs piss on GNC men pisses me off as someone questioning their gender and as someone with a ton of self hate for it and other regards too.

An Autistic Giraffe
An Autistic Giraffe
5 months ago

Now I’m not one of those MLP fans, but I did like the show when I gave it a chance and I can’t resist posting my one of my favorite bits

Watching that episode made me realize that fashion is an art form like any other, and that love of fashion isn’t the shallow nonsense that I’d internalized and no different from love of painting, music etc. The reason it’s looked down upon is probably just because it’s associated with women and gay men.

Now I’m not saying that fashion doesn’t have problems, but I can’t help but think this TERFs hoping to see the end of fashion has some internalized misogyny to it. Other forms of commercial art after all have all the same problems but nobody is calling for the end of music or movies.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
5 months ago

I read a thing where a woman said she’d started to pay more attention to her appearance once she started working from home because when she’s in a video conference, she can see herself on the screen. I don’t remember if she said that it made her self-conscious or if she just thought it was nicer to look at herself when she put in more work, though.

I’ve been unemployed since before all this started. The only recent change in my routine is that I’ve started putting my hair up in a bun, because it’s getting to be very long and having it out of the way makes it easier for me to not touch my face. I’ve been thinking I should probably get a beanie or something for when the shaved portion soon gets too long for comfort (though I worry that might be too warm).

I don’t know if that’s me not wanting to look bad in front of people or if it’s just that I keep my hair the way it is for reasons of personal comfort and I’ll have to come up with something else since I can’t maintain it during this pandemic.

occasional reader
occasional reader
5 months ago

Hmm, does it not occur to itsnotaboutewe that for people who have windows opening on streets, you can not wear anything you want when shutters are open ? I know there are far less people in the streets, but even for the occasional passerby, i would rather not to be seen in pyjama (or less).

Ah, nevermind.
This year easters are going to be a tad sad.

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

@An Autistic Giraffe

nobody is calling for the end of music or movies.

TERFs haven’t called for the end of music yet, but their attempts to make music are so awful they might make people want an end to music.

Another long-time lurker
Another long-time lurker
5 months ago

Trans women don’t dress the ways they do — in clothes ranging from traditionally feminine to androgynous —

… and masculine. Let’s not forget butch trans women exist. You’d think that would blow TERFs minds, but sadly no. They hate trans women no matter how they look or what they do after all.

Also, this is not going to kill ”fashion”. A lot of people have always cared about their looks and clothes no matter when. The world has seen even more deadly epidemics throughout the ages, yet people didn’t suddenly abandon dressing up for good. This will be true even if the fashion industry collapsed tomorrow.

vaiyt
vaiyt
5 months ago

But if women and men are free to look however they want, how will the terfs play femininity police?

Cats In Shiny Hats
Cats In Shiny Hats
5 months ago

@vaiyt
They’ll base everything on what they see as far as breasts, hips, and facial features; there by perfectly categorizing all people accurately forever. /s

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

@Cats in Shiny Hats
There’s also a very present racial aspect in the patriarchal sorting of body shapes and parts. Very often the “perfect proportions” selected arbitrarily are those of wealthy white women, and very often cultural indicators of femininity are based on whiteness and being wealthy.

This might be part of why I can only think of one TERF who is a POC (Linda Bellos), and the rest are all white. You don’t attract many POC to your movement when your movement is white feminism.

Yet another reason TERFs are in the service of the patriarchy, whether they know it or not.

Cats In Shiny Hats
Cats In Shiny Hats
5 months ago

@Naglfar
This is true, and my white privilege is showing since that didn’t occur to me. Thank you for calling me on it, I will strive to do better.

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

@Cats I’m Shiny Hats
I wasn’t calling you out, I was calling TERFs out. No worries.

rv97
rv97
5 months ago

@Naglfar

I feel like the sort of entities who want to end music and movies are those who lock them behind DRM, use them for profit, aggressively file infringement lawsuits and lobby for more restrictive copyright law including longer and longer terms. This includes companies like Disney and Nintendo.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
5 months ago

@An Autistic Giraffe:
I first saw that clip when it was shared by a sketch and comic book artist I know who did a fair bit of commission work, and the whole ‘dealing with commissioners who are either wildly over-detailed or under-specific but expect you to be a mind reader’ aspect of that clip was what people were talking about.

(Sadly, said person had issues with nerve damage in her hand and is no longer drawing as a result.)

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

Sort of OT: I found a tool that analyzes subreddits and finds out how much overlap between subreddits there is. I put in r/GC and the results are somewhat interesting. People who post on r/GC are most likely to also post on r/femaledatingstrategy, which is ostensibly dating advice for women but is anti-casual sex and seems to be rather racist and transphobic (e.g. trans* women are not allowed to post, multiple cross-posts from r/GC, posts complaining about going on dates with trans* men who didn’t say they were trans* first, bashing r/twoxchromosomes for not being transphobic enough, etc). The next subreddit on the list of overlap is one mocking the Duggar family, which was somewhat random but not too strange.

The third, however, is r/PurplePillDebates, which is in theory for red pillers and non-misogynists to discuss for middle ground, but in practice is another red pill subreddit. I just find it illuminating how TERFs on Reddit spend more time on MRA/red pill subreddits than any actual feminist subreddits. Not surprised, but interesting to note.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 months ago

“The apocalypse will destroy everything I hate, and leave everything I love untouched” seems to be an evergreen fantasy among reactionaries.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 months ago

Well as they hate everything, even themselves, and love nothing they’re arguably correct.

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 months ago

I’m pretty sure our culture (and practicality, to varying extents) still dictates what essential workers have to wear to “look the part.” The many people who cannot work remotely and are now out of work have not formed a new association between working attire and sweatpants. I myself can work remotely, but on the two occasions I have done so in the last month* I have had to get just as fancied up as usual, minus the shoes.

There are a whole lot of people in the world who are not white-collar office workers. I guess itsnotaboutewe hasn’t ever met any of them.

*This is such a yikes number. So many yikes.

Talonknife
Talonknife
5 months ago

I used to like fashion until I grew out of my preferred style. Now I just wear whatever’s on top of the clean laundry pile.

Allandrel
Allandrel
5 months ago

There’s a line in that MLP episode that perfectly describes what dealing with client feedback feels like. Rainbow Dash sees the first version of her dress and says:

“Just make the whole thing, you know, cooler. It needs to be about 20% cooler.”

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

@‘mantha

I like nice clothes (usually from charity shops) but have never had a clue about what’s supposed to be ‘in fashion’ at any given moment. This can’t be uncommon, surely.

Fellow trans* woman here. Didn’t see your comment until now, but I feel the exact same way. I like clothes that I deem to look good (which varies based on the situation), but I don’t really follow fashion shows and the like (plus I can’t afford the super expensive fashion stuff they show).

Nentuaby
Nentuaby
5 months ago

Aside from the transphobia, the premise is fundamentally extremely silly. In WWII, most of the population wore military, auxiliary, and factory uniforms for quite a bit longer than we’re going to be sheltered in place, and somehow that didn’t leave us all wearing nothing but jumpsuits from thenceforth.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
5 months ago

@Allandrel:
Which falls into the ‘under-specific but expect you to be a mind reader’ category I noted above. As well as generating a meme that lasted for a while after that episode.

As for ‘over-detailed’… I’m not an artist, but I know several who could tell stories of what, in the furry fandom, is often known as the ‘sparkledog’, otherwise known as the person who will come up with a multi-page and exceedingly detailed and ‘unique’ character description that becomes an absolute horror to any artist that gets asked to draw it.

Naglfar
Naglfar
5 months ago

I’m not very familiar with MLP, but from what I know of the show, the pony I relate most to is Twilight Sparkle. The one I relate least to is Pinkie Pie.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I’m also a Twilight Sparkle from the episodes I’ve seen. There’s a piece of Rarity and Fluttershy in me too.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
5 months ago

Fashion is quite the multi-billion dollar industry….

I doubt that it’s going to disappear because we discovered we could work in our PJs

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
5 months ago

Cautiously optimistic again: only a 9% increase in Ontario today, and the hospitalized count (which may be more reliable as a gauge) has been level-ish in the low 600s for four days now.

On the other hand, I’m a bit worried that nicer weather will cause more people to go outside and weaken the social distancing. My last two supply runs I saw a lot more pedestrians and even cars moving about than the previous two.

The less-densely-populated little chunk of Ontario where I am has had 12 confirmed cases thus far and one death.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
5 months ago

@Surplus:
Well, in many ways, the hospitalized count is one of the most critical measurements. The entire point of ‘flatten the curve’ and the lockdowns is preventing that number from getting high enough to overwhelm the system.

@Naglfar, weirwoodtreehugger:
Well, as a friend of mine noted, fundamentally the arc of the first season at least was ‘sheltered bookworm/geek is forced to move to new town but makes some great new friends once there’, and when framed that way it’s no wonder that it hit a lot more than the originally intended market.

epitome of incomprehensibility

Also, I like nice clothes (usually from charity shops) but have never had a clue about what’s supposed to be ‘in fashion’ at any given moment. This can’t be uncommon, surely.

@’mantha – Same.

A bit OT, but I like Karolina Żebrowska’s YouTube channel. She studies fashion history and does vintage-related fashion stuff as well as funny sketches.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
5 months ago

@Nentuaby

and somehow that didn’t leave us all wearing nothing but jumpsuits from thenceforth.

This honestly seems like a missed opportunity. Think of all the advances the field of jumpsuits could have made. Jumpsuits for all dresscodes and occasions!

Because surely people will try to fancy themselves up with anything they happen to have, if they just have the time and the energy to do so.

impudentinfidel
impudentinfidel
5 months ago

Personally “dressing to feel more like yourself” and “dressing down in self-isolation” both mean “walk around naked”, but you do you.

Nicholas Kiddle
Nicholas Kiddle
5 months ago

I’m trans masc, which as usual the terf has forgotten all about. I’m also depressed, which means I dressed like a huge slob even before this. Somehow doesn’t stop me feeling dysphoric when I catch sight of the mirror and see how feminising my new absence-of-haircut is, or panicking that I’ll die without ever having the chance to grow bum fluff. Because oddly enough I’m still trans when I’m staying at home.

Also I masked up with a scarf to go to the supermarket the other day and the employee in charge of the queue called me sir. Which a) made my day and b) suggests it’s my hairless chin that gets me read as female more than my chest.

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
5 months ago

I still have to leave the house to work. Even though it’s scary, I prefer it because staying at home by myself all the time after what happened with my cousin feels very dangerous right now.

I only have to wear workout clothes because I’m working with dogs but it’s still a big deal to me to look presentable at least, even if no one else sees me. The depression, anxiety and PTSD get far worse if I don’t, and right now they’re really bad anyway so getting dressed is a must.

Lainy
Lainy
5 months ago

Everything is blooming here on my parents farm and my body thinks pollen is a personal attack. I haven’t gotten out of my sweat pants and tank top yet. No bra. No make up. I feel like trash and look like trash. So I just wanted to take this moment and say no terfs this isn’t desirable at all. I miss my dresses, miss my lipstick and miss being able to breath out of my face.

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
5 months ago

@Lainy: I’ll be feeling the same about a month from now.

Lainy
Lainy
5 months ago

@Yutolia

my body : oh it’s nice and warm, we don’t have to be burred in clothes anymore. oh this is nice
Also my body: what’s this pollen! intruder, this is the plague. Rally the troops we attack at dawn and die like men!

Moogue
Moogue
5 months ago

Is no-one here going to obsessively quote Miranda Priestly? No-one? Really? Fine I’ll start doing it, consider it my sacrifice.

” ‘This stuff’ [fashion]? Oh, ok. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don’t know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don’t know is that that sweater is not just blue, it’s not turquoise, it’s not lapis, it’s actually cerulean. You’re also blindly unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn’t it, who showed cerulean military jackets? And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic “casual corner” where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you’re wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of ‘stuff.'”

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
5 months ago

OP’s opinion is so uninformed, because while people sometimes have to wear the most stereotypical outfits to be percieved as the gender they are for gatekeeping reasons, they also wear them because they *personally* are most comfortable wearing what they like.

For instance, i don’t have to wear a binder, i’m not ‘fooling’ any random person i could possibly interact with. I only really interact with my room mate, and occasional video calls. But i’m not going to go either binderless or braless, because the thought of not binding is personally really upsetting.

I also get dressed, just as if i was going out to work, because i feel less sad when i have ‘pyjamas’ and ‘daytime clothes’.

One thing i did recently was to order an aligator clip. It’s to hold the long hair on the top of my head i want to keep, while i hopefully get up the courage to use my trimmer and shave down the sides. Nothing fancy, just an undercut. I would feel happier with that! And if i mess it up, there’s time for it to grow out and get trimmed by a barber. No better time to try, right?

I do it for me, is what i’m saying, so i feel better about my body + appearance.

@Nicholas Kiddle – HMMM! I wonder if wearing a mask would get me the same result, assuming i don’t speak first?? Now i want to try! Another thing to sew, lololllll.

Bakunin
Bakunin
5 months ago

@Rhuu
I wish dysphoria transplants were a thing. Give a cis person a bare idea of what it’s like to never recognise your own body as yours, even if just for a bit. Hopefully they’d realise why it isn’t “mimicking gender roles” or whatever

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
5 months ago

@Bakunin: I wish that existed too.

There’s a scene in a movie called Powder where the main character, who has special powers, puts the pain of a dying deer into the hunter that shot her. It was to prove that the hunter’s assertion that the deer wasn’t feeling pain was wrong.

I’ve always wished I could do that with all sorts of things. Not to harm, but to show someone how it feels to be treated the ways we treat all marginalized people in this society. Maybe make people think twice about their actions toward others.

Frederic Christie
5 months ago

There is no need to say the argument is self-refuting. The only way gender “ends” is if we stop policing it. That means everyone not caring what someone else does. Wear a skirt, a kilt, heels, flip-flops, sweats, whatever. They want to enforce gender in the way that appeals to their biases.