By David Futrelle
It’s nice to know that, even in the throes of a massive global pandemic that could leave tens of millions dead, Reddit’s MGTOWs can still manage to find time to indulge in one of their favorite hobbies: yelling about women with body piercings they don’t like.
Today’s target: Nose rings and the women who wear them. And the men who date them.
Someone called throwaway4738299 started things off with a post on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit complaining about an acquaintance who wasn’t happy to hear criticism of his nose-ringed crush.
“It’s so weird watching men literally get angry about you criticizing women,” he wrote.
I told some guy to not date the girl he was talking to because she had a nose ring. You know, because those women are fucking crazy. He started getting defensive and would say shit like, “why should I take advice from you” or “that’s stupid” or “where are your facts” etc. There are more passive aggressive comments that are made, I just can’t remember. They need to wake up and realize the pattern of women like that being low quality partners.
Other commenters had throwaway’s back on the nose ring thing.
“[W]ell you’re not wrong at all,” wrote Edtotem.
the nose ring is a NO NO every goddamned time, it is practically verified via scientific method. i wish i were joking honestly
Someone called Rex-Holes had a somewhat more elaborate theory of nose-ringed women.
Most men don’t want woman with facial piercings. That’s pretty standard. So if men dont find them attractive, why do females get them? It’s a social display of wealth and openness to non social norms. IE “I (my man) can afford a frivolous body decoration and I also have low impulse control which means I’m a slut and i make terrible personal choices”. This is why chicks with poor impulse control always have random little tats everywhere and obscure piercings and dreadlocks. If you see any of those signs, run.
It’s a safe bet that precisely none of these women are going to be displeased to have MGTOWs running from them.
Other commenters saved their venom for male “simps” who allegedly “worship pussy.”
DangZagnut (we’ve met him before) offered a rather graphic take on the subject.
Millenials are the most pathetic white knights, but they were raised in a steady bath of pussy and government worshipping propaganda.
So it’s not their fault they worship pussy, what else are they going to do? Millenials love showing their noses deep into a used pussy, and love licking the chunks out.
MGTOWs certainly have vivid imaginations, don’t they?
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Certain assholes probably feel that any money spent on other people’s hobbies and interests is always a horrible waste.
@masse_mysteria
I’m bi and I can say that it doesn’t really work that way, at least for me. I don’t alternate in my attraction, I just find lots of people attractive at once but I can still have a relationship with one. Of course, if one did alternate, I could see polyamory as a solution.
Lack of understanding bisexuals is fairly common among monosexual folks. I recall J. Michael Bailey, the sexologist best known for transphobia and unethical experiments, remains convinced that bisexual men and trans* women don’t exist. As a bisexual trans* woman, I can prove he’s wrong, but I doubt he’d pay any attention.
@galanx
Not any more so than any other piercing, though cold weather can get a bit annoying. The jewelry is generally less durable than your nose and will break before tearong flesh.
To be honest, I as a bisexual person, don’t understand how someone can just be attracted to one sex or gender of people. My husband has tried to explain to me because I kind of don’t believe that a 100% straight person or a 100% gay person exists. I think there is a lot of culture and social things at play that muck it all up. That being said, just because I don’t understand it, doesn’t mean I don’t respect it.
I would never tell a lesbian that she isn’t a lesbian or tell a gay man that he isn’t actually gay, or a straight person that they aren’t actually straight. The things we label ourselves have importance and should be respected by others, whether they understand it or not.
Similarly I don’t have to understand how a transgender person feels to know that they should be able to live their life how they see fit. Free of harassments, free of pain, doing whatever it is to make them happy and live their lives to the fullest.
@galanx, Dalillama:
Of course, you need to be careful what the rings are made out of. A friend of mine with a steel nipple ring noted that he had to be a lot more careful about magnets these days.
@masse_mysteria, Naglfar, Lainy:
And I’m mostly ace, so my grasp on that sort of attraction to either sex is a little shaky. Same with trans* issues… I’ve role-played as both online, I’ve never had a strong ‘I am X’ feeling so much as just going along as cis by default.
But I’m also firmly of the ‘an it harms none, do as thou wilt’ camp. As long as you’re not hurting anybody else in the process, you do you. (Which applies to piercings and tattoos as well; not something I’m interested in for myself, but I appreciate the artistry some people go to.)
@Naglfar
Considering bi erasure I don’t think that’s any wonder. I can understand lack of understanding, because there are a whole lot of things I don’t understand. True, I sometimes come up with stupid theories for things when I’m just idly wondering about them, but if I’m actually interested or am about to tell someone about things I’ll look it up and not just present my idea as a fact. At least I hope I don’t do that.
I hear some people’s experience of their gender can vary from day to day or moment to moment. Not that it’s the same thing, but it makes me think someone’s sexual attraction could alternate. It would be really interesting read/hear about that, but I still can’t understand why anyone would think that the default setting for bisexuality.
@jenora
First I would like to say your identity as an ace person is valid and I’m sorry if I implied that it wasn’t just because I was talking about sexual attraction. Lack of sexual or romantic attraction is just as valid as any other sexuality.
Second I’ve always looked at this way, that if I as a cis woman woke up in a man’s body tomorrow I would feel incredibly wrong and out of place and would want to get back to my own body as soon as possible. I imagine it’s much like that for a transgender person with their body.
@Jenora
That’s basically my position as well. I don’t have any body art or modification and am not really interested in getting any, but I support others doing what they like in that regard to themselves.
@Masse_mysteria
For me, my sexuality (not my gender, my gender is constant) changes slightly in that sometimes I feel slightly more attracted to certain people than others and at different times it’s different, but I think even straight people have that with regards to certain types of appearances or features. I don’t know anyone who swings from being exclusively attracted to women one day to exclusive attraction to men the next and alternates every other day, for me it’s never that extreme, but I could see it being possible.
If y’all were curious about how slow the postal service is with long distances, my husbands valentines day present just got to him.
@Lainy:
No worries, I didn’t see what you said as invalidating. I just thought I’d bring up a different take on it, as somebody who is sometimes confused by all of this.
(Oddly, I’m ace, but not aro, as far as I can tell; it’s not as if there are hard and fast tests for much of this. Then again, I suspect my uncle who first started living with a girlfriend when they were both in their sixties is the same way.)
@Naglfar:
Granted, one of my favourite tattoos ever I saw while standing in line for the Toronto Island Ferry, and it was more silly than artistic as such. A woman in front of me had tattooed up the back of her leg, all the way from her ankle to just visible under the line of the shorts she was wearing, a single line of text in a Fraktur font: “Aren’t you a little short to be a stormtrooper?”
@Lainy
It might also be additionally slowed by COVID-19, seeing as a lot of people are ordering a lot of stuff and a lot of people are not at work.
@Jenora Feuer
I’m not aro or ace, but from what I know a fair number of ace people are alloromantic, seeing as of the asexual people I know quite a few have romantic attraction and engage in romantic relationships. I don’t know if anyone is aro but allosexual, but I would imagine that would be possible.
When I got my first tattoo I got told a lot (mostly by my much older family members part of the baby boom generation or older) that men don’t like tattoos on women. my only response was “wait so you’re telling me that I can get a image of something very meaningful and beautiful to me on my skin, AND it will keep man away from me? my god it’s like carrying around salt for demons, why didn’t any of you tell me this sooner!?” because at the time I didn’t really want to interact with men outside of my family in my personal life. I actually still don’t, my husband is basically the only man I want to talk to in my personal life.
@Naglfar
Probably, he likes it though and it fits him. Just took forever to get there.
I personally don’t understand male-attracted people or people who are not female-attracted, but I certainly understand that they exist. What with there being so many of them. Just how are MRAs so myopic?
It’s like if I declared that nobody actually likes shellfish, because I find them vile and therefore they are objectively vile, so all those people eating shrimp are liars with ulterior motives.
MADHURI DIXIT, FTW!!!!!!!
@Pablo – Thanks! She’s the person in the picture? I looked her up and saw her on Twitter, wearing cool earrings.
@Lisa – speaking of Twitter, I’m @ xylitolcyclone if you see a follow request.
…As for the other discussion, a surprising number of people decide “bisexuals don’t exist” or just go with random ideas about what bi/pan people are like.
*Example – CW for homophobia and slightly stressful family dynamics*
Last year my dad was showed me something he wrote where he was talking about the debate over LGBTQ+ clergy & marriages in the PCC (Presbyterian Church of Canada). He was asking for compromises between the two sides but he also worried about the church having to accept all sorts of sexual practices. Example? Bi people with two partners at once!
This annoyed me and he asked why. I said, Well, not all bi people would want two partners at once. Polyamory is a thing but it’s not what the majority of people are into, in general.
(I didn’t mean to marginalize poly people and I’m sorry if I did. I was trying to say why his newsletter gave an inaccurate view of bi/pan folks.)
And then Dad, awkwardly, “But you’d have to kind of, experiment, to decide you liked men AND women.”
So I told him I knew I was bisexual since I was 14, when I hadn’t even held hands with anyone in a romantic way. (I mean, I kind of suspected since I was 11, but I didn’t know the word for it so I just thought I was sort of gay but not completely.)
@Naglfar
If I recall correctly, I believe that WWTH is aro but not ace.
As an ace person myself, I find bisexuality easier to understand than monosexuality. I also experience equivalent chances of being attracted to people of all genders, it’s just that the chance is zero for me. (Not to say that all bi people experience equivalent levels of attraction to all genders! It’s my understanding that a fair number of bi people do have preferences and different chances of attraction to different genders, and that’s valid!)
Though to be fair most of my understanding of sexual attraction is “sounds fake, but okay”.
Now if only I had a more firm grasp on whether I was aromantic or biromantic…
A question about/for ace people: do you basically have no sex drive at all? Or just no attraction to most or all people, the way a 100% straight person has none to their own sex? Or some are one way and some are the other?
@Catalpa
I’m certainly not an expert and you know yourself best, but you mentioned having no attraction to anyone romantically, so wouldn’t that mean you are aromantic?
Nose Rings now?
Jesus Christ.
I have seen some asinine shit on this site, but that’s gotta be up there.
This talk of understanding the sexuality spectrum?
I don’t know if I understand much about it.
I do know I don’t much care.
So long as all parties involved are consenting adults, I have always taken the view that that aspect of someone’s life is THEIR business, not mine. I leave you alone, you leave me alone.
Sorry for rambling. It’s late, I am kinda bored, and this place is a refreshing change of pace after spending most of my week on YouTube speaking truth to powerlessness on the videos of ComicsGate trash.
@Surplus
Lacking sexual attraction and lacking a sex drive are different things. Some ace people still have a libido, and some masturbate, we just don’t feel attracted to other people. (Some ace folks also have sex with others, because of a desire to please/be intimate with their partner, or because the sensation is pleasurable, or some other reasons. I can’t really speak to those reasons because while I do occasionally feel the urge to engage in, uh, solo activities, I’ve never once wanted another person to be involved in any way and don’t really understand it.) I imagine it’s kind of like the way that a straight person might feel if they were only ever around and exposed to the gender they weren’t attracted to, though I couldn’t say for sure since that’s not my experience.
Some ace folks don’t have a sex drive, or have a very low one, though that’s not what makes them ace. It’s a spectrum.
@Naglfar
It’s kind of more complicated than that, because I don’t know for sure what romantic feelings are supposed to feel like. Like, there are some people who I think are really cool and great and I want to be around them, but I can’t tell for sure if that’s only in the “holy shit I REALLY want to be friends with you” way or the “I have a crush on you” way. What is the line, how can I tell? No idea. It’s baffling.
Like, at this point I’m fairly sure that I’m also aro, since I probably wouldn’t be so confused if I actually felt the feelings, and since romantic attraction is so normalized it makes more sense for me to be falsely confusing my platonic feelings for romantic than visa versa, but I’m still not 100% sure.
It’s kind of a moot point because I’ve decided that unless I figure out for sure I’m alloromantic I won’t be dating anyone, in order to be fair to them and the potential relationship, so, eh.
@Catalpa
Thank you for your great explanation!
Yes! I understand that people may not have a lot of knowledge on asexuality, but the amount of times I’ve seen people dismiss it by going, “Well I’m not saying your identity is invalid, just that there must be something wrong with you if you’re X years old and have no sex drive” is just baffling. Because surely everyone wants to discuss their sex drive, lack thereof or medical examination of said with complete strangers.
(This is not meant to criticise Surplus’s question, just an observation.)
Yeah, I’m also in the situation of ‘have a sex drive, but it doesn’t really connect to anyone’. Also ‘the brain is my favourite sexual organ’.
(Which is also something I don’t normally mention, because conversations like this are the only times where it doesn’t seem creepy to talk openly about it.)
I hate the idea that even if you don’t have a sex drive that it’s a problem that has to be solved. My libido did some weird stuff after i was raped. I got hypersexual for a while and it was like a type of drug for me. Or more like a new way to harm myself since at the time i was already cutting and starving myself. This was a new way to inflict pain upon myself that I felt o deserved because I felt worthless. After I begin to heal and went to a counselor. I lost any sex drive I had at all. I didn’t want to be touched or even looked at in a sexual way. I didn’t want to masturbate. And this lasted a couple years. But it wasn’t an issue that had to be fixed it was a symptom of my path to healing.
Even if you don’t have a sex drive it isn’t a problem that necessarily needs to be solved. As long as you are okay with it and it doesn’t bother you. It becomes other people that have an issue with it.