By David Futrelle
So there’s a new Nissan ad featuring Brie Larson, and the internet’s biggest babies want you to think that they’re OUTRAGED.
I mean, maybe they really are outraged, I don’t know, but whether they’re sincere or just faking it, these performatively angry dudes (and a few dudettes) want us all to know about it. They’re trying to make Nissan into the next Gillette, yelling and screaming on social media, making videos, and doing all they can to convince the folks at Nissan that getting “woke” will make them broke.
The subject of all this alleged outrage is actually a rather tame commercial, a generally uninspired and unoriginal attempt to use “girl power” to sell cars. In the ad, we see a woman and her boss standing outside eating tacos from a truck. He tells her she’s not getting a promotion; she looks crushed. Suddenly Brie Larson appears in a brand-new NISSAN SENTRA!!! and tells her to “drop the taco, get in the car.”
Larson then takes the poor office worker on a speedy tour of the nearby streets, highlighting the car’s allegedly superb handling and some new feature that keeps you from backing into things. The idea is that if Nissan doesn’t “compromise” in kitting out this new model Sentra, the office worker shouldn’t compromise at her job. Larson deposits her new friend back at the taco truck and she stalks back to her boss to (we assume) demand the promotion she was unfairly denied.
Somehow this is supposed to make all sensible people FURIOUS. And indeed, a quick survey of some of the spots inhabited by the internet’s most furious reveals the standard outrage. In the comments to a YouTube video in which Larson explains her thoughts about the ad, internet piss babies drop their little bombs.
“Nissan. You went Full Gillette. You never go Full Gillette. “
“Nissan: Get In loser, we’re going bankrupt.”
“Just like that I’m no longer considering Nissan for my next car”
“‘He who goes woke, inevitably goes broke.’Old /pol/ish proverb”
“Now I have to sell my Nissan, thanks Brie. You blank face plank of wood.”
“I love watching companies burn to the ground. It’s quite entertaining.”
“Thanks to women like this, and companies like nissan, we are ushering in a new conservative age around the world!! Please, keep making ads like this, it will ensure atleast another decade of conservative rule. “
“BRANDS BE ADVISED, Going “woke” will lose you my business, I understand on the surface this whole “social justice” thing might seem like a positive force that promotes equality, but I assure you it’s not. Wokeness is an authoritarian extremist ideology of moral absolutism with nearly all the characteristics of a cult.”
And so on and so on.
On Twitter there were similar cries of anguish and anger.
“Congrats on your misandry, Nissan! Great marketing!” complained one Tweeter sarcastically.
“Dammit I just bought a Maxima and now it’s tainted with Brie Larson’s narcissism,” whined another. “Why, Nissan? WHY!?”
“Customers ain’t playing with Nissan acting like a simp for flatbooty clout,” added another.
No, I’m not quite sure what that last one means either, unless “flatbooty” is a synonym for feminist or something.
And if course there were the YouTube videos from the professional outrage-sellers.
It’s all a bit pathetic, really.
Yes, I rather doubt any of these outrage merchants care what I think. But this particular outrage campaign doesn’t seem to be catching on in some places where you’d think it would be an easy sell. Take the Men’s Rights subreddit, where the commercial has elicited some of the requisite outrage but also some yawns.
“Ehhhhhhhhhh… No,” wrote one commenter of the outrage campaign.
[The ad is] saying nothing different than what Jordan Peterson says when it comes to assertiveness and the wage gap. ..
Good for girls isn’t necessarily bad for boys.
“I see no issue with this,” added another commenter. “It’s just ‘don’t let women compromise.’ It doesn’t hurt men AT ALL.”
If this is the reaction from people in the Men’s Rights subreddit, maybe this manufactured outrage is getting a little stale, huh?
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