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This NoFap parody of Johnny Cash’s cover of Hurt is possibly the worst song ever recorded

You make Johnny Cash sad

By David Futrelle

Yep, some NoFap dude did a NoFap version of Johnny Cash’s famous cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt,” with the lyrics changed to make a point about the evils of “cooming” while jerking off to porn. Just listen to this mess, if you can:

Every day we stray further from God’s light.

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weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Uh, Obama’s foreign policy wasn’t really different than any other US President. Also, western men oppressed western women plenty before 2008.

I mean, there’s definitely a backlash against social justice, but the election of Barrack Obama was one small part of the push and pull, not some giant catalyst.

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
4 years ago

abstention from orgasm will give a regular average woman after a few years way more energy, wealth, brain power, political power, military power than she would know to do with

Given that around 10 to 15 percent of women report being unable to reach orgasm, and also that married straight women tend report lower sexual satisfaction than other demographics, if that was true, the planet would be dominated by straight married women.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
4 years ago

Oh, look, he’s already begun laying the groundwork for his flounce.

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
4 years ago

Is this guy a bot?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

Oh, cool. So in addition to nuns and menstruating women and asexuals, over-50s are also doomed to failure. Children too, presumably.

Maybe I’m dense, but I don’t see the point of promoting an energy harnessing technique that’s only possible for a very specific demographic group.

@Autistic Giraffe

The energy that powers our bodies comes from the food we eat for example, but not exercising doesn’t give us more, it makes you weaker and less healthy.

That’s why Trump doesn’t exercise, other than griftgolfing. He believes that people are born with a finite amount of energy, like a battery, and exercise only depletes it faster.

I think he should be encouraged in that belief.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Buttercup

That’s why Trump doesn’t exercise, other than griftgolfing. He believes that people are born with a finite amount of energy, like a battery, and exercise only depletes it faster.

Does he actually believe that? It doesn’t surprise me, but it is still a very strange belief.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

@Naglfar

Yup. This article is a bit old, but I haven’t seen any recent indication that he’s recanted:

https://www.cnn.com/2017/05/15/politics/donald-trump-exercise/index.html

TacticalProgressive
TacticalProgressive
4 years ago

@Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer

So long story short: you and your ilk believe in Pseudoscience nonsense that’s divorced from reality, kind of like Miasma theory

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
4 years ago

Wait so western women weren’t oppressed until OBAMA???????????

I just… you’re SO wrong, you’ve entered the ‘not even wrong’ territory.

Another note, regarding English – we say ‘people of colour’, because we are putting ‘people’ first. That’s what PoC is. WoC is woman of colour.

I hope you come away with an understanding that the ideology you’ve espoused here is needlessly limited, and limiting.

We all know you won’t, since you’ve opened up about even MORE ridiculous stuff (and i thought ‘ejaculation is the male equivalent of a period’ was ridiculous) but this is ultimately for the lurkers anyway.

:/

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
4 years ago

I think the semen retention guys are misunderstanding a minor point about some of their claimed historical teachers. For the religious ones at least, the celibacy stuff wasn’t the main point of their philosophies; it was a side effect of trying to get closer to their respective god(s). In those cases, sublimating assorted physical desires for a higher purpose makes sense.

As for Anandamayi Ma (the extra ‘a’ on the second word didn’t seem to make any difference in the search results), if her Wikipedia page is anything to go by, she wouldn’t qualify as a SR as defined by the SR Liaison guy posting here. She appears to have been an atypical child in some ways growing up, and according to SR guy only typical people with typical sex drives can tap the power granted by voluntary sexual retention. Based on that article, her celibacy might not have been 100% voluntary, though what else might have been going on there likely can’t be discovered anymore, given she’s dead and everything.

Otherwise, she sounds like a fascinating woman to read up on. She seems to be a fairly progressive person overall, at least in regards to women and spirituality.

Bastethotep
4 years ago

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer

The continued protection of Rome (the city not the empire) for 800 long years is attributed to the spiritual power of an unbroken line of female celibates within the SR community ….known as Vestal Virgins who would be celibate for 30 years before marrying in mid or late 30s

And the evidence in support of this hypothesis is?

Also “continued protection […] for 800 long years”? You know that The City suffered plenty of catastrophes, of which the Great Fire of 64 was just the most infamous, right? Yes, not many foreign invasiouns, but the reason is pretty obvious: Rome was the sacred heart and centre of an expansionist martial empire that, through ruthless pragmatism,, cultural assimilation and unpredenced supremacy in military technology, discipline and logistics, conquered first all of Italy (giving it natural barrierrs on all four sides), and the entirity of the Mediterranean and Western Europe, including all its rival empires (save Parthia, but that was distant, and the asymmetries between the two empires meant that neither could achieve much in the way of lasting conquest). There simply was no external threat left that had any chance to get to the city of Rome. The only threat to Rome was Rome itself. Of course, until the Empire started to fall apart and Europe began to suffer the turmoil of the Migration period…

A Vestal Virgin cursed Rome and its elite ruling class in the 380s after the Christians desecrated and shut down the Temple of Vesta….within a few decades of that Rome was overrun by Visigoths under Alaric after 800 years of peace

Only a few decades? Wow! What a strong causal link!

Also, again: THE HISTORY OF THE CITY OF ROME WAS FAR FROM PEACEFUL, YOU IGNORAMUS!

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@LindayIrene

Their sex energy creation is nullified because eventhough they cannot physically orgasm they do try to have sex, inculcate sexual thoughts in their minds, have foreplay with others

cheers,

@Bastethotep

by continued spiritual protection I meant the time period between two sackings of the city

cheers,

I think I have answered all queries and my work here comes to an end

An Autistic Giraffe
An Autistic Giraffe
4 years ago

You missed my question of where sex energy comes from and how it enters the body.

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@An Autistic Giraffe

It’s a mix of food energy, conscious energy, genetic energy, muscle energy

to get a baseline of sex energy best would be to measure the orgasm strength of a man and a woman after 12 years of strict clean celibacy

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@SRLO
How does one measure the orgasm strength? And wouldn’t that end the celibacy?

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@Naglfar

There has been genuine scientific studies measuring orgasm strength on PubMed….and the result measured in watts

Yes that would end the celibacy, but once you complete 12 years of celan unbroken celibacy, you would have maxxed out and have gotten permanent benefit..after that you may resume your normal sex life if that’s what you want

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
4 years ago

Their sex energy creation is nullified because eventhough they cannot physically orgasm they do try to have sex, inculcate sexual thoughts in their minds, have foreplay with others

Soooooo… the it’s really not about the orgasms?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

This makes zero sense. Zero. You keep hand-waving away all of our counterexamples with ad hoc explanations that contradict themselves. Having sexual thoughts nullifies the sex energy, so that doesn’t count. Not having sexual thoughts means there’s no base sex energy, so that doesn’t count either. Women who are capable of orgasm but too busy for a sex life don’t count, men who are too old to win a UFC championship don’t count (because spiritual clarity is directly correlated with one’s ability to axe kick), all nuns are secretly jilling off, and I have lost my ability to even with this.

If every single person is disqualified from becoming a SR shaman because there’s always a loophole, then it’s an utterly pointless practice.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

O/T, but interesting twist on wives taking their husband’s name…

http://www.advocates.org.uk/news-and-responses/news/2020/feb/new-judge-honours-mother

An Autistic Giraffe
An Autistic Giraffe
4 years ago

https://skeptoid.com/episodes/4002

Here’s a good test. When you hear the word energy used in a spiritual or paranormal sense, substitute the phrase “measurable work capability.” Does the usage still make sense? Are you actually being given any information that supports the claim being made? Remember, energy itself is not the thing being measured: energy is the measurement of work performed or of potential.

@ Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer

It’s a mix of food measurable work capability, conscious measurable work capability, genetic measurable work capability, muscle measurable work capability

Okay so only two of those four make any barking sense. What the hell does “conscious measurable work capability” mean?

And with food and muscle energy, like I said not using that energy is bad for you. Regular exercise makes your muscles stronger and “food energy retention” is not a healthy lifestyle. Why would sex energy be different?

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
4 years ago

I’m curious on how you defend your statement that women were not-oppressed, until Obama was elected.

(all of this is cis/binary, sorry)

Women weren’t actually considered people, under the law, until pretty recently. Women couldn’t vote. Women couldn’t get divorced. Spousal rape wasn’t illegal. Reproductive health is demonised. Woman are forced to bring a child to term, no matter the consequences to their health, or the cost of birthing/raising a child, or the limited opportunities they now have as a parent. Etc etc etc.

But you would claim that all of those are results of… not oppression?

If you think you’ve explained anything, unfortunately it’s just that SR are either people who really, really hate women and are misogynistic, or are people who will cherry pick bits of ‘spirituality’ to buoy their misogyny.

(You’re the second, I’m sorry to say.)

I’m very much agreeing with @Buttercup Q. Skullpants. Re-read your explanations here, and then look at your clarifications. You need to look at them both at the same time, and then try to figure out how you can hold two such contradictory beliefs.

This is a thing that humans do. Cognitive dissonance. We can believe two utterly contradictory things are both true, because we somehow separate things from ourselves.

An example would be basically everything in Buttercup Q Skullpant’s post above, honestly.

Your belief system doesn’t work. It doesn’t hang together. If you find that not having sex/whatever makes you feel better about yourself, cool. No one needs to have sex, that is super important. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. Own that.

But give up on this ‘sexual energy is a measurable thing’ and ‘crystalised energy’ and other bullshit. It’s all bullshit!!!!!

I hope you manage to extricate yourself from this. I hope that you don’t ruin your streak, and have to go in for another 12 year stretch, and then feel super angry at yourself and at whatever ruined your streak. I hope you are happy.

:/

An Autistic Giraffe
An Autistic Giraffe
4 years ago

PS I hope that my post didn’t come off as fat shaming, I meant the Trump approach to health by my last comment but realized it might come off wrong. Sorry if it did.

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@everybody

I explained everything from the framework of semen retention philosophy ..of course it won’t make sense from the Standard Model of Physics..I understand that much

@Rhuu

white western women were nowhere near oppressed by white men as black and us aboriginal men (non-African blackish looking) were

White women always tend to make everything about themselves

In fact white women teamed up with white men to kill these men

Now if you are talking of black women, I am more than ready to consider they may have faced even greater oppression

cheers,

goodbye everybody…thanks for the discussions

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
4 years ago

You’re describing intersectional feminism, @SRLO. Yes, white women (in majority white countries) have it easier than WoC. But they still weren’t people. No women were *people*.

It took longer for WoC to be considered people, because all the Nice White Ladies said “hey, don’t agitate about the racism you experience, be nice and we’ll eventually get to your problems” and then never did.

But you’re just being willfully blind, friend.

You didn’t explain the framework of SR philosophy. You explained the framework of what it means to you, with no supporting articles/arguments/examples from other SRers.

Honestly, I know no more about SR than when we started, because you’re claiming to represent all the ‘non-western’ (I think?) adherents, with no proof that you are representative of a group.

To us, you look like a lone voice.

If you’re done with this conversation, that’s fine. No one is obliged to stay longer than they want, and we all know we’ll never get you to see the contradictions you’re so obviously missing, because that’s not how humans work.

You won’t see our logic, because you believe.

That’s why I wish you good luck with your life, and I wish the people around you good luck in their dealings with you, in the future. You, and they, are going to need it.

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@Rhuu

Are you seriously going to tell me that in 1930s germany a white woman was more oppressed than a Jewish Man…Heck a Jewish Man was more oppressed than a white woman THROUGHOUT THE HISTORY OF Continental Europe since the later centuries of Rome….Pope declares a Crusade against Muslim occupation of Jerusalem…what do the Germans do? kill thousands of jews who are totally unconnected….German woman Catherine becomes Czarina…what does she do? oppress to the ends of the earth a bunch of Jews

Please donot try to sugarcoat the sins of the white woman…it is best we end this discussion cordially here, as it would open up old wounds for me and my ancestors