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This NoFap parody of Johnny Cash’s cover of Hurt is possibly the worst song ever recorded

You make Johnny Cash sad

By David Futrelle

Yep, some NoFap dude did a NoFap version of Johnny Cash’s famous cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt,” with the lyrics changed to make a point about the evils of “cooming” while jerking off to porn. Just listen to this mess, if you can:

Every day we stray further from God’s light.

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An Impish Pepper
An Impish Pepper
4 years ago

Yeah this guy is most likely just cherry-picking ideas from various ideologies and religions rather than basing his ideas on a particular tradition. Buddhism and Hinduism have had thousands of years to hash things out, and I doubt that a practitioner would have to resort to arguments like “my friends are autistic/women” to counter accusations of sexism and ableism. Nor would I believe that either religion could be reduced down to “semen retention” to begin with.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@An Impish Pepper

Yeah this guy is most likely just cherry-picking ideas from various ideologies and religions rather than basing his ideas on a particular tradition.

That seems to be a common thing people do to justify practices like this. Each one contains tons of other stuff, so it’s easier to pick parts from each that only have what you want and have just those parts.

Catalpa
Catalpa
4 years ago

@SRLO

Out of curiosity, how does this statement:

The continued protection of Rome (the city not the empire) for 800 long years is attributed to the spiritual power of an unbroken line of female celibates within the SR community ….known as Vestal Virgins who would be celibate for 30 years before marrying in mid or late 30s

Jive with this statement?:

…I personally don’t think periods or orgasms hurt women …..But in some men orgasm and ejaculation tends to bring about an utterly devastating effect …even erection leaves me drained emotionally..so women have the luxury of being sexually active but men don’t

Does semen retention/”spiritual practice” work for cis women as well as cis men, or doesn’t it?

Also, as an asexual person I’m more than a little uncomfortable with the idea that I’m somehow more cosmically “pure” than an allosexual. Sexual desire is a thing that some people have and some people don’t, and neither state makes you better than the other one.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ naglfar

it’s easier to pick parts from each that only have what you want and have just those parts.

In fairness that’s probably the history of the evolution of religion generally. I’d love to see a ‘family tree’ of world religions; like some linguists have attempted for language.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw
Well, I found this map:comment image

I’ve seen differing maps for language, it appears many languages are rather difficult to place due to not fitting well into other families or being hard to tell how it was influenced.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ naglfar

Oh wow thank you; that’s exactly what I had in mind!

Although is suspect, like human evolution generally, the real pattern is a bit more like like a bush than a tree. Lots of continuous cross fertilisation.

TB Tabby
TB Tabby
4 years ago

Every day we stray further from God’s light.

Refreshing to hear that phrase used in response to something actually horrible, and not just a thing made by furries regardless of quality or content.

Meteor
4 years ago

I made it 26 seconds in.

Nope.

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

I am to damn sick for this level of disrespect from the idiot nofapers

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Pregnancy is not voluntary female sex energy retention because the sex energy already got transformed into pregnancy ….and there was no conscious spiritual effort to stop the monthly loss—

Why would it matter whether it was voluntary or not, though? Energy retention is energy retention. Shouldn’t the effect be the same?

And a further question, why is female sex energy linked to menstruation rather than orgasm? Those are totally different processes. Why do women get the involuntary one? Why is libido only a male sex energy?

Another Laura
Another Laura
4 years ago

Dear Semen Retainer Liaison Officer –

Oh, sweetie. I can assure you that if one lives to be over about 55, there will be 4, 5, 6 months or even longer when even those of us who are still married and in love with our spouses have no urge to have sex or even sexual thoughts. Illnesses, injuries, family duties, overwhelming job responsibilities, or some of these together or all at once can make even non-sexual cuddling something that just doesn’t happen. I assure you, it does not make me stronger, more creative, or more enlightened. All it does is piss me off.

I mean, you do you. But if I could send a message back to my younger self, it would be, “have more sex. Whenever, however you can. Enjoy all the pleasures your body can offer you as often as possible, because some day you won’t be able to enjoy them.”

Giving up sex before you have to is just a dreadful waste.

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
4 years ago

Fava beans contain high levels of tyramine, as do liver and Chianti. High tyramine foods are contra-indicted for some types of anti-depressants/anti-psychotics. Hence the in-joke in Silence of the Lambs.

OK, I’m a bit slow on the uptake here, but does this imply Lecter counteracted anti-psychotics with this particular selection of food? (I never knew the line was a joke, more an indication of self-perceived refinement on Lecter’s part).

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@Mabret the Virile Maiden

I was under the impression that I had to explain the efficacy of transgender semen retention within the FRAMEWORK of semen retention philosophy. I am not here to canvas for SR or to convince people to go for temporary celibacy. I am only here to clear misconceptions about SR so that people may understand SR on its own terms..May be SR is right, may be the Egyptian Sex spirituality you cited isright, may be Qadishtu philosophy is right..may be all of them are right, may be none of them..it really doesnot matter…if you feel naturally drawn to SR, then you may undertake the practice in steps…that’s it nothing more…

best way to quanitfy sexual energy would be to measure the strength of the orgasm of a man or a woman who has not masturbated, sexed, fantasized, seen porn, edged for 12 straight years…That would be the base line from which all other measurement units will follow

cheers,

@Catalpa

Periods or orgasms donot hurt women…but women abstain from orgasm they build up massive reserves of extra energy…this energy was used for spiritual protection of Rome by Vestal Virgins—->that would be the logic from point of view of spiritualists or sexual esotericists

But erection, ejaculation and orgasm surely do devastate a large swathe of men including me

semen retention/sex energy conservation work for men, women,non-men,non-women as long as they feel that visceral sexual tension in their whole being after a few days of clean celibacy

semen energy retention or sex energy retention has nothing to do with purity…you can have an orgy with 5 other human beings and then choose to be celibate for the ensuing hundred days and you would be conserving your sex energy, before engaging in sex again …..It’s the transmutation of this energy into other fields of work while you are retaining that matters the most…some also call it sublimation

if an asexual person feels visceral sexual tension in his or her body after a few days of clean celibacy, that means extra energy has been generated that needs to be channeled somewhere else…This means semen retention/sex energy retention is working…if not then not so much…for the same reason semen retention/sex energy retention would have little effect in an elderly if he doesnot feel any sexual energy coursing through his body to begin with

cheers

@Buttercup Q Skullpants

without the conscious connection…no it won’t be the same..cuz sexual energy is connected to consciousness energy…

female sex energy is linked to menstruation as a cognate for male ejaculation..ejaculation is seen as the male period in the sexual esoteric community…both result in the loss of creative material ..though many believe abstention from orgasm will also confer a woman with great spiritual powers even if she may not be able to stop her monthly loss

cheers

@Another Laura

I donot think sex,mb, orgasms hinder women from operating comptently in this world. But physical touch,sex,mb,orgasm surely do devastate a lot of men, to the point they are barely able to function as living beings …So women have the liberty to have as much sex as they want, men (or at least a significant subsection of them) not so much

cheers

Catalpa
Catalpa
4 years ago

So if I understand correctly, only voluntary/intentional abstinence which causes sexual frustration is an effective form of SR, but also menstruation, an entirely involuntary process that has nothing to do with sexual tension, causes the loss of this energy.

http://i.imgur.com/IbPGYG0.gif

Does urination also cause a loss of sexual energy? You’re also losing matter from your body out of your penis when that happens. How is it different?

I am not here to canvas for SR or to convince people to go for temporary celibacy.

You aren’t? That’s funny, you sure seemed like you were shilling it to Ohlmann a page ago.

the principles behind SR are equally applicable for both men and women…how about you or anybody else here go 100 days without sex,self-pleasure,touching onseself,porn,edging,romantic literature,romantic movies,fantasization

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Apparently SR makes one really long winded and boring.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

I guess I should SR less then.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

It sounds about on a par with midichlorians and thetans, this primitive belief in a vital energy that is depleted when biologically normal fluid loss carries it out of the body. Now I’m afraid to blow my nose.

I think I’d respect SR a lot more if it was “hey, I feel a lot better when I don’t watch porn and masturbate all the time” instead of “sexuality is EVIL WITCHCRAFT!!” (Nofappers seem to be rather obsessed with succubi). Why invoke supernatural causes and moral judgments? Why construct a nonfalsifiable hierarchy of spiritual enlightenment that, from the get-go, excludes women (who can’t – and shouldn’t – consciously shut off menstruation), asexuals (who can never achieve shamanhood because their abstention isn’t consciously chosen), and the ~80% of men who have involuntary wet dreams?

It’s just…I don’t know. Incels flock to any worldview that encourages them to look down on women and sex-havers as weaklings. There’s a reason SR is so popular with them. It turns their hatred of women into a grand spiritual quest.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

@Buttercup : exactly that. In addition, since nobody can check out the claims of someone abstaining from masturbation, it also allow them to feel special without actually changing anything about you.

That being said, I personally think the hatred of women is more a side effect of hating everything including themselves. They choose an easily recognizable priority target, but they could (and do) change it at the drop of a hat if it’s convenient for their internal narrative. It just need to be vague enough that you can pretend to be persecuted regardless of what happen.

They want to feel special and non mediocre. The quickest way to do that is A – pretending to have powerful ennemies and B – pretending to have a special quirk. Here, the ennemy are evilz women and the quirk is semen retention, but it would work just as well with jews and being an aryan.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Buttercup

Now I’m afraid to blow my nose.

Well, I did jokingly suggest snot retention a few months ago, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.

Why invoke supernatural causes and moral judgments? Why construct a nonfalsifiable hierarchy of spiritual enlightenment that, from the get-go, excludes women (who can’t – and shouldn’t – consciously shut off menstruation), asexuals (who can never achieve shamanhood because their abstention isn’t consciously chosen), and the ~80% of men who have involuntary wet dreams?

Because these people have to make everything sound more grandiose and pompous.

@Ohlmann

In addition, since nobody can check out the claims of someone abstaining from masturbation, it also allow them to feel special without actually changing anything about you.

And I’m sure none of them ever lie… /s

Paireon
Paireon
4 years ago

@Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer- First of all, tell your fellows to stop ruining great music for the rest of us, then we’ll talk. Johnny Cash is the only country singer I actually like, too.

Second, periods don’t hurt women? Really? Never heard of menstrual cramps before? At the risk of going TMI, my mother once told me that her periods were actually more painful than giving birth for her (she had very easy births though, fortunately – still means periods hurt like hell for her). So right there you’re talking out of your ass in fine Dunning-Krueger fashion. To say nothing of medical risks such a haemorrhages or infections and other less pleasant stuff. Periods haven’t just hurt women, at times they’ve killed them.

Third: Weird, but really, in my case I tend to feel pretty good after fapping (either using my imagination or porn). If late in the evening, it helps me get a good night’s sleep. If at another time of the day, after 10-15 minutes I feel better rested, energized and motivated. Does that mean I’m some freaky mutant by your standards? Because “cooming” is usually a pretty positive experience in my life.

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@Catalpa

I personally don’t feel any energy is lost by fem menstruation, as I feel energy is stored through abstention from orgasm…so most probably female orgasm avoidance would have the same effect as male semen retention….whatever I wrote earlier would be the mainstream view of major sexual esotericism/sexual tantra schools

Urination, perspiration, panting etc donot cause loss of sexual energy in a man..only fantasizing abt women (for hetero),touching onseself sensually, sporting an erection, masturbation, sex, ejaculation,foreplay,kissing (french) ,cuddling leads to loss of sexual energy (for a man–most of the same thing will apply for women, non-men,non-women,m2f transgender,f2m transgender, hermaphrodites)

A big destroyer of sexual energy is wet dreams…I suggested only to Ohlmann because our discussions hit the doldrums and that’s why I gently suggested her the only way for her to be convinced of SR/Sex Energy Retention is to try it pefectly for 100 days at a stretch..I didnot start the conversation with the intention of “converting” him(her?) to SR or sexual energy retention…This is just a loose community, where the sense of strong community is only among the lifelong celibate ones—->they share apartments, financial resources, undertake joint meditation and joint fasts etc.

@weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

English is not my first language…not even my second..it barely comes in as my third…So sorry if i am long winded and boring in english..I am just forced to use it because of the domination of the white man ..If given a chance i would rather use the language of my tribe

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

Re: Johnny Cash

May I be forgiven for raising my usual bit of trivia that Johnny Cash was the first Westerner to learn of the death of Stalin.

(He was an army radio operator tasked with intercepting Russian military transmissions)

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@Paireon

I would tend to agree with you..I had a gf once who said to me that next life she would become the man and I the woman since the cramps were becoming quite painful for her every month..but other women on the net especially here said that the monthly loss doesnot hurt women…I would also believe that…I guess varies from person to person..I personally tend to see the male ejaculation as the male period..so at worst I would be okay with having a male period only once every couple of months

cheers

Monzach
Monzach
4 years ago

@SRLO

I’m sure that the inhabitants of Rome would have been surprised to hear that they had lived in peace for 800 years by the time of Romulus Augustulus, the last emperor. Even if we don’t consider things like Hannibal’s march across the Alps during the Second Punic War to have truly threatened Rome itself, there was that little thing when Brennus lead the unified tribes of the Cis-Alpine Gaul on a raid on Rome itself. And that would have been considerably less than 700 years before the fall of the Western Empire.

@all

I know I haven’t been around for…a long time now. I’ve been in and out of the hospital since last September. I’ve had a couple of very nasty surprises, health-wise. Let’s just say that I’m starting to feel a little bit like a human being now so hopefully I’ll be able to post a bit more often on here.

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@Paireon

if you are a woman…it doesnot surprise me..Orgasms, sexual arousal donot devastate women as they do most of the men ….This is why women are at liberty to fully explore all aspects of their sexuality, but unfortunately most men are not , as their body breakdown when subjected to arousal,erection ,orgasm and ejaculation …Many a Hindu Yogi are known to have died seconds after experiencing intense sexual arousal…So for few men it is best to have a simple life without meat, without milk, without smoking, without alcohol, without drugs, without much luxuries (sleeping n hardfloor like monks), without romance, without sex…Only in that ascetic stage they may be of any help to themselves and the wider humanity

If you are a man , I bet you will feel much better if you engage in clean celibacy and transmute that energy towards your endeavour in other fields

cheers

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