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This NoFap parody of Johnny Cash’s cover of Hurt is possibly the worst song ever recorded

You make Johnny Cash sad

By David Futrelle

Yep, some NoFap dude did a NoFap version of Johnny Cash’s famous cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt,” with the lyrics changed to make a point about the evils of “cooming” while jerking off to porn. Just listen to this mess, if you can:

Every day we stray further from God’s light.

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Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

Okay the comments were a bit long in nature so let me try again, but shortening them quite a bit

@Makroth

studies that properly examine semen retention never been carried out.they can only be carried out if a 1,000 men and women have as much sex and masturbation(mb) as they want while another set of 1,000 go for 12 years without any mb, sex, porn .only then efficacy of sexual energy conservation will be determined .We base our practice on Vedic Hinduism (Buddhism,Taoism also) as well as confessions and anecdotes from thousands of accomplished men through out history

@Naglfar

Andre carnegie’s views on sexual energy is in the book how to increase your salary.That combined with his known sexual history gives an avg. SR practitioner enough data to be convinced ..there is of course Newton,Tesla,Erdos,Lamaitre ,Mohd Ali (2 months before fight) etc…

regarding prostate cancer one group of SR practitioners say that it is better to be celibate till 40 and achieve everything and then engage in vigorous sex

another group says they would rather achieve a lot and have prostate cancer in their late 50s than be miserable through out their lives and die in their 80s

misogyny in SR community is due to infiltrators from Red Pill who still have not gotten rid of their imperative to sleep with as many women as possible. for most SR practitioners, women as sexual beings, figure little to none in their lives…biggest adversaries of SR practitioners are other male who they wish to displace

case to the point Gandhi (many flaws) displaced the dominance of european men to institute dominance of Indians in India

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer

studies that properly examine semen retention never been carried out.they can only be carried out if a 1,000 men and women have as much sex and masturbation(mb) as they want while another set of 1,000 go for 12 years without any mb, sex, porn .only then efficacy of sexual energy conservation will be determined

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Special_pleading

We base our practice on Vedic Hinduism (Buddhism,Taoism also) as well as confessions and anecdotes from thousands of accomplished men through out history

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Appeal_to_ancient_wisdom

for most SR practitioners, women as sexual beings, figure little to none in their lives

It seems rather reductive to see women only as sex objects. Women tend to be complete people, with our own personalities, thoughts, ideas, and memories.

Specialffrog
Specialffrog
4 years ago

@SRLO: I’m sure you could find examples of thousands of successful people who avoided eating carrots. Unless you can show that carrot avoiders are disproportionately represented among successful people you don’t even have evidence of correlation let alone causality.

Thousands of people in all of human history is still a piddling amount.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Specialffrog

I’m sure you could find examples of thousands of successful people who avoided eating carrots.

I can’t think of people who notably objected to carrots, but I know that Pythagoras refused to eat beans.

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@Naglfar

Thank you for putting in better words the point I wanted to make. I was constrained by brevity and lack of hold on English (it’s not even my 2nd language)..There is way more to female identity than the sexual aspect. The sexual aspect of women that is thrust upon society, is something SR men donot interact with….The closest people in my life are three women due to circumstances..They are either blood or (honourary) blood. I owe absolute loyalty to them and no loyalty to any man..So yes women can interlock with men without the sexual aspect

I never said that SR follows the scientific materialist paradigm..Very quickly the justification of SR. (may be ridiculous from Scientific Materialist standpoint) ……..Consciousness is the first,singlemost,irreducible component of Reality (by consciousness also the experience of complete nothingness during deep,dreamless sleep)….Sexual Instinct is intimately connected to Consciousness…So through manipulation of the sexual instinct we can bend Consciousness and in turn our Existence

The best way to refute SR, would be to completely crack the Hard Problem of Consciousness and completely elucidate how a certain configuration of flesh can give rise to living,breathing, full experience of reality….our meat bodies could still perfectly interact with nature without us being conscious of it…..There i gave you the answer how to debunk the practice

@Specialffrog

it’s the confession of those men that SR played a huge role is what SR practitioners base their practice on

regarding Euler, you can still make a family of 13 with just a few dozen ejaculations over a period of 20 years..and still reap the 60-70 percent benefit of complete unbroken celibacy

it’s modern sexual profligacy that leave women with broken heart,broken home,unwanted pregnancies,STDs,mental distress that many celibates are against

(I personally donot care whether other people are having sex, abortions, STDs,children, deep romantic bonds..my entire existence is based on loyalty to these three women and may be my clan)

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@Naglfar

Thank you for putting in better words the point I wanted to make. I was constrained by brevity and lack of hold on English (it’s not even my 2nd language)..There is way more to female identity than the sexual aspect. The sexual aspect of women that is thrust upon society, is something SR men donot interact with….The closest people in my life are three women due to circumstances..They are either blood or (honourary) blood. I owe absolute loyalty to them and no loyalty to any man..So yes women can interlock with men without the sexual aspect

I never said that SR follows the scientific materialist paradigm..Very quickly the justification of SR. (may be ridiculous from Scientific Materialist standpoint) ……..Consciousness is the first,singlemost,irreducible component of Reality (by consciousness also the experience of complete nothingness during deep,dreamless sleep)….Sexual Instinct is intimately connected to Consciousness…So through manipulation of the sexual instinct we can bend Consciousness and in turn our Existence

The best way to refute SR, would be to completely crack the Hard Problem of Consciousness and completely elucidate how a certain configuration of flesh can give rise to living,breathing, full experience of reality….our meat bodies could still perfectly interact with nature without us being conscious of it…..There i gave you the answer how to debunk the practice

@Specialffrog

it’s the confession of those men that SR played a huge role is what SR practitioners base their practice on

regarding Euler, you can still make a family of 13 with just a few dozen ejaculations over a period of 20 years..and still reap the 60-70 percent benefit of complete unbroken celibacy

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
4 years ago

SRLO (I hope you don’t mind the abbreviation):

studies that properly examine semen retention never been carried out.they can only be carried out if a 1,000 men and women have as much sex and masturbation(mb) as they want while another set of 1,000 go for 12 years without any mb, sex, porn .only then efficacy of sexual energy conservation will be determined

Just out of curiosity, how exactly would a study measure the conservation of people’s sexual energy? Or its health effects, assuming “sexual energy” is a metaphor for some putative causal agent that isn’t directly measurable by known science?

(Also, if it can be only measured after a 12-year abstinence protocol, how did Mohamed Ali beat his opponents with only a two months’ protocol?)

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@Lumipuna

Tie an electric wire around the member of men and see how many times he volunatriy or involunatrily sported an erection…voluntary sporting of erection (erection during waking hours) would disqualify him as a celibate

It’s all due to genetics..some people are genetically gifted..the ones who we say have high crystallized sexual energy…these men can achieve great things with no celibacy or few weeks f celibacy…

other men may no be genetically gifted and may need a lot of celibacy to accomplish great stuff …Prafulla Chandra Ray, the great chemist, comes to mind (attribued his greatness to celibacy like Newton,Leibniz)..that is called fluid sexual energy

Ali was gifted that’s why he needed only 2 months of power up..someone else would need few years of power up

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
4 years ago

To amend my previous comment in light of SRLO’s latest reply,

I now see that, for the purpose of supporting SR, scientific method is not considered “difficult to apply” but rather entirely irrelevant. You could have said that outright in the part I quoted from you.

you can still make a family of 13 with just a few dozen ejaculations over a period of 20 years..and still reap the 60-70 percent benefit of complete unbroken celibacy

…Though reference to percentage still implies something you could and would measure?

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@SRLO

completely elucidate how a certain configuration of flesh can give rise to living,breathing, full experience of reality….our meat bodies could still perfectly interact with nature without us being conscious of it

I’m not sure what this has to do with sexual abstinence. I am sure one day we will understand how the brain works, but I’m not quite getting how semen factors into this.

regarding Euler, you can still make a family of 13 with just a few dozen ejaculations over a period of 20 years..and still reap the 60-70 percent benefit of complete unbroken celibacy

But we don’t have evidence that that’s what he did. For all we know, he could have had sex twice a day and those were just the times his wife got pregnant.

it’s modern sexual profligacy that leave women with broken heart,broken home,unwanted pregnancies,STDs,mental distress

It couldn’t be the current political situation, capitalism, systematic bigotry, lack of access to healthcare, or climate change? It seems like those are more likely causes of anguish.

Side note (TMI): searching for details about Euler’s sex life (I was unable to find any) I found that there is a surprising amount or erotica about mathematicians. Rule 34, I guess.

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@Lumipena

The best way to how much sexual energy is being conserved is to measure the frequency and intensity of waking hours erection in a man during waking hours…by tying an electric ring around his member…then we can surmise how much energy he has conserved or lost based on his achievements in that time as well as comparison with other similar celibates

That would be my way of quantifying male sexual.energy ..just a start ..may be others can chip in…I already gave you the outline how to debunk the entire practice in a previous comment…that would make such cumbersome experiments entirely irrelevant

Cheers

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
4 years ago

Tie an electric wire around the member of men and see how many times he volunatriy or involunatrily sported an erection…voluntary sporting of erection (erection during waking hours) would disqualify him as a celibate

My question wasn’t about enforcing experimental celibacy, but never mind.

I see the discourse is generally drifting away from reason and logic, so I take “60-70 percent benefit” as a metaphor for something nebulous and spiritual, and leave it at that. Good night.

Rastafas
Rastafas
4 years ago

I made it to the first “coomed”. Then I went in search of ear bleach. This is what I settled on, A young Steve Goodman singing Red Red Robin.

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
4 years ago

Wait back up here, i would very much like an explanation of this bit:

another interesting tidbit. Women who have stopped their monthly energy loss through spiritual practice, even in their fertile years, are considered even more powerful than celibate semen-retaining men ….

Anandamayi Maa from Eastern India comes to mind in this regard ..She chose to go full on celibate even while being recently married

The first paragraph talks about stopping a ‘monthly energy loss’ through spiritual practises.

The second paragraph links that to being celibate.

@SRLO – you know that celibate uterus havers still have their period, right?

There is actually no way for SRers to see women as anything other than ‘the enemy’, when it is thoughts of women that make you (as a stated heterosexual male) lose your ‘streak’.

Humans gonna human, and if thinking of a pretty woman messes up something you apparently work in 12 year blocks on… People will be resentful of women.

We only have your word, and no corroborating links that SR is so deeply ‘spiritual’, with these 12 year commitments. Some supporting evidence would be good.

I also love your ‘gotcha’ about the vestal virgins, as if (because these are women), we would automatically be on your side.

I believe they believed they had supernatural power, and i believe that they had political power because the population believed as well.

I don’t believe their curse brought down Rome. I also am pretty sure that ‘the fall of rome/end of the roman empire’ is a date that is still debated among scholars.

Oh, and ‘all the misogynists are red pillers!!!’ Is a ‘no true scotsman‘ fallacy.

I hope you keep responding for a while, it is fascinating to see this from someone who *believes*.

Viscaria
Viscaria
4 years ago

another interesting tidbit. Women who have stopped their monthly energy loss through spiritual practice, even in their fertile years, are considered even more powerful than celibate semen-retaining men ….

They would have to be pretty powerful, wouldn’t they, since no spiritual practice can stop menstruation in those who menstruate, though some hormonal medications, malnutrition, and I believe a few other physical concerns (IANAD) can. The good news is that menstruation is neither a “monthly energy loss” nor a sign of moral or spiritual impurity. There’s nothing wrong with being a person who menstruates. (Except that it can really suck sometimes for the person, of course. But that’s not a sign of moral failure.)

You tried really, really hard to be less misogynistic than most of your semen-retaining buds, but you still threw in a classic bit about how menstruating people, who you presume are women, are dirty and impure for menstruating, so I’m going to give you a D+.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Rhuu

I also am pretty sure that ‘the fall of rome/end of the roman empire’ is a date that is still debated among scholars.

The predominant theory I’ve seen is about lead poisoning, which doesn’t really have anything to do with sex. I’ve seen other theories as well, still unrelated to sex.

@Viscaria

They would have to be pretty powerful, wouldn’t they, since no spiritual practice can stop menstruation in those who menstruate

Even Jasmuheen and the Breatharians know this to be true. She claims she can subsist with no food but admits she couldn’t stop her period.

you still threw in a classic bit about how menstruating people, who you presume are women, are dirty and impure for menstruating

That one is so old, it’s in the Old Testament.

Leviticus 15:19

And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be in her impurity seven days; and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.

Sounds familiar.

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
4 years ago

If you’re post menarche and pre menopause and your period stops you’re either pregnant or sick.

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
4 years ago

Perhaps i should leave some links on menstruation, what it is and how it works?

First two are from Doctor Mama Jones, on youtube. IIRC, she makes an effort to not gender period havers.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cDA5z4z-8gM

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez88w5dd1oU

(Might need to have a VPN set to ‘Canada’ to see this one)

Jensplaining Ep 1 – Menstruation.

They try to be inclusive as well. (Though there’s a lot of ‘women’. It’s a work in progress.)

Eta – @Knitting Cat Lady – you can skip periods, due to stress and things. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re sick, but you can talk to your doctor if you are concerned.

Freaking stress!!!! The Worst.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

you can talk to your doctor if you are concerned

Would be nice if my doctor took my concerns seriously and didn’t suggest I should just lose weight to get my estrogen levels under control, whatever that means. But on the plus side, googling the blood test results she never went over with me led me to taking daily supplements which seems to have helped reduce the severity of my symptoms and I’ve stopped skipping. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

Semen retention isn’t a “philosophy” or anything. It’s a bunch of stupid peoples trying random stuff.

As for having any kind of proof that it work, remember the absolute first rule of any demonstration : you have to have a working hypothesis of why it would work, and SR don’t have one (that’s why it default to a bunch of sciencey bullshit words about energy).

If you don’t have an hypothesis and just try to look at data, you can transform a lot of random correlation into strange, surreal laws. Like the price of health insurance in America being linked to obesity in India, because the energy lost in insurance coverage have to go somewhere ! Less whimsically, correlation between two variable can often mean they are the consequence of an unseen third variable. For example, birds on small islands tend to both lose the ability to flight and are less eaten by predators, but both are consequences of being on a small island, there is a correlation but no causation between the two consequences.

(of courses, thoses same correlations shown by SR are all either wrong or unprovable anyway. How they did not catch up on that is beyond me)

Dalillama
Dalillama
4 years ago

@Naglfar

I can’t think of people who notably objected to carrots, but I know that Pythagoras refused to eat beans.

There’s a good chance he was allergic to them. The beans in question would have been fava beans, and favism is a genetic condition that makes those poisonous.

Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
Semen_Retention_Liaison_Officer
4 years ago

@Rhuu

It’s something Anandamayi Maa herself said. and since she was considered the most powerful spiritual figure of an area of roughly 300,000 sq kms during her time, people took it at face value (that her spirituality stopped her monthly loss. and she said eventhough she was married she refused to engage in physical intimacy with her husband due to her spirituality)

I would respectfully disagree with your contention here that SR would automatically and inevitably lead to misogyny. This a product of modern SR when modern western men started thronging to SR in their thousands.This mentality is only a few years old that women are worthy of contempt since it is thoughts of women that leads to breakage of streaks..The correct attitude has been laid down by Shakyamuni buddha 2,500 years back..Specifically the Yodhajiva suttas (or Warrior Banner suttas)…even if a beautiful thick woman (to use modern lexicon) gyrates her derriere in front of me in a suggestive manner while being in the skimpiest of clothes, it would be improper for me to become angry at the woman or her behaviour..the correct response would be to observe the fluctuations of my own mind in light of this new sensory input..Just as a man doesnot get angry at a falling tree and wisely sidesteps it, it behoves on the SR man to just wisely sidestep the situation

I just wanted to paint a broader picture at the outset that sexual energy conservation has been practiced by various genders in various cultures..but I myself would from now on would comment from the coloured,non-white,non-western heterosexual male perspective

i would be happy to contribute on SR threads as long as other members feel that I have a useful perspective to present here

cheers

@Naglfar

I personally feel state machineries, govt policies, big programs only benefit the ones who are already priviliged. For the the not-so-privilged ones its best to form unbreakable blood oaths between kindred spirits to go through life..Looking back at my sexual phase of life, i would say it is best to engage in intimacy when there is 101 percent trust involved..By that i mean the other party is ready to marry the first party at the drop of a hat, if the first party wishes so…That’s just my opinion…and also an irrelevant opinion as I have moved away from sex…

cheers

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@Ohlmann
Reminds me of this site: https://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations

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Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Dalillama
Possibly, there are multiple theories, but it seems the prevailing one was that beans looked too much like human genitals or fetuses and therefore had the potential for life (evidently he didn’t think plants were alive). It also may have meant to stay out of politics, as the Ancient Greeks used beans to vote.

@Ohlmann

If you don’t have an hypothesis and just try to look at data, you can transform a lot of random correlation into strange, surreal laws.

When I was in a statistics class in high school, my teacher showed us a number of examples of correlations of clearly unrelated things, like butter consumption in Maine and divorce rate in Kentucky. Correlation doesn’t imply causation, but even less so when no plausible mechanism is shown.

Like the price of health insurance in America being linked to obesity in India, because the energy lost in insurance coverage have to go somewhere !

Sounds vaguely like something Marianne Williamson would say.

@kupo
I kind of like finding weird correlations like that. Reminds me of the aforementioned statistics class where we did that. I must say, though, those particular ones are rather morbid.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I really hate this trope of unwanted pregnancies and STIs being some sort of modern phenomenon. 30 seconds on Google can shatter that myth.

Also, how can we compare the state of mental health hundreds or thousands years ago when there weren’t studies measuring it back then? Of course, religions wouldn’t have rules and opinions about suicide if suicidal ideation wasn’t a thing.