By David Futrelle
Spare a thought, this Valentine’s Day, for the ones who suffer the most during this celebration of love and candy and consumerism — the Men’s Rights Activists, shaken to their very core by a holiday in which women get jewelry and flowers from beleaguered men who want nothing more than some top quality nookie in return but can’t even get a hand job because all women are bitches, or something.
Anyway, they have a lot to say about it.
Yes, that’s right, they’re mad that that a private charity in Toronto is giving Valentine’s day care packages to women and children in domestic violence shelters.
Happily, one creative Men’s Rights Redditor thinks he has a solution to all this misandry: a new government commission tasked with making sure men get their money’s worth out of Valentine’s Day and, indeed, every other day in which they are in relationships with selfish bitch ladies. As TC1827 laments, V-Day
should be gender neutral but has become all about women. Personally, I think there ought to be government commissions to examine relationships to ensure that each party is getting a fair deal. Men are not ATMs, Men and Women need to realize that.
Somehow I don’t see that happening any time soon. But it does sound like a good premise for the world’s worst rom-com.
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I’ve spent most of this Valentine’s Day dealing with HR paperwork for the new job I start on Monday. I have even less sympathy than usual for men whining that nobody will fuck them.
Here to repeat the perennial suggestion that MRAs could start domestic violence shelters for men…and give them Valentine’s Day packages.
This sounds like Jordan Peterson’s old “enforced monogamy” policy. No thank you.
Forced Love, Actually? Maybe Cassie Jaye could produce it.
These guys are often associated with very macho, neo-stoic memes, and decry when women get or seek help from the government, yet here is one saying the government should step in and ensure his personal relationship is going the way he wants it to.
I think a lot of these movements are made up of uncharismatic guys who haven’t worked on themselves to become interesting or spark any genuine desire or admiration in people, especially their romantic partners, and are sour graping it all the way with all of this angry blame.
OT:
I spending my Valentines Day being conficted.
I got a letter of conditional admissions to CSULB.
Now to worry if my official transcript grades will be the reason why I’m not let in.
I celebrated Valentine’s day with my dad. We went to a museum and my husband sent me the next book in a series I like that I had talked about a month go as a present. It’s been a pretty good day.
I haven’t really done much for Valentine’s Day. Since I’m not currently in a relationship, I went to work, did my normal day to day routine. A fine day, but not out of the ordinary.
I just now, after all these years, realized something funny about the men as ATMs whine that the manosphere always does.
When I go to an ATM and take out cash, I’m not getting free cash. I’m converting to cash my money that I earned. I’m taking out a small portion from the bank of what I put into it earlier.
The manosphere accidentally stumbled into a perfect analogy. They’re entitled asshats who expect women to put everything into relationships, but are outraged when men are expected to give anything in return.
@Ibrahim
I think your second paragraph is partially true. But their real problem is that the only women they want are young and sexy women. Since there is a lot of competition for young and sexy women, they feel misused. Even if they do settle for someone less than gorgeous they tend to treat such women very badly, out of spite, thus quickly ending the relationship (because more and more women are realizing they don’t have to put up with that crap).
There are a hell of a lot of “involuntary celibate” women out there, too. You may hear one mention that they would like to be in a nice relationship or at the very least, get laid now and then. What they don’t do is whine like a three year old who needs a nap.
@otrame
I get what you’re saying. I don’t think we can say that “they ” (women) simply don’t engage in a particular activity at all. There are, of course, all sorts of people, and for all we know, there very well may be women who do whine like three year olds who need naps about wanting the types of relationships they haven’t been able find.
I’ve myself known some very whiny, infantile adults who were both male and female, but no, I haven’t seen a formal movement of women devoted to whining about not being in relationships.
Be careful what you wish for! Can you imagine if an auditor tallied up all the unpaid labor?
@Ibrahim:
r/Trufemcels. To be fair, I’m not aware of a “formal” movement either, and that one appears to be more whining about beauty standards than about lack of relationships.
They don’t seem to understand the concept of loving yourself for Valentine’s Day
My V.D. was made whole by seeing a ‘toon showing a couple seated at a fancy restaurant, wine, tablecloth…
A dude in a Roman-looking robe was addressing them, head in hand… no, really… disconnected head in his hand
“Hi, my name is Valentine. I was brutally beaten and beheaded in 276 A.D. I’d like to thank you for romantically remembering me on this day. Enjoy your dinner!”
… I’m just… not right… I guess
My beloved surprised me with a lemon tree! We haven’t generally done much on VD because it is silly and consumerist and heteronormative. But despite my ambivalence about the whole enterprise, it was a lovely and thoughtful gesture. He made me a card too (which would have been plenty). I made him a silly paper rose.
I bought myself an inexpensive pottery wheel for vday. Not in a relationship right now, but I will throw a thousand imperfect pots in honor of messy imperfect love and romance, dedicated to all the people I love who have found such and in the hope that I might one day find it as well. And I will revel in being single and independent until then, lol.
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie, thanks for reminding everyone of the reason for the season, to borrow from the fundie Christians. Anyway, I bought some scrumptious, hand-decorated cupcakes from a local baker to share with family, friends and co-workers today. That was my VD. Husband and I had to work today and tomorrow. And a DV shelter for men with Valentine’s gifts sounds awesome. If anyone starts one, it’ll probably be a feminist. It sure wouldn’t be one of the whiners in Dave’s post.
Ooglyboggles, wishing you luck with your CSULB application. I’m a grad of the Cal State system. The status in the letter you mention may be due to your chosen major being impacted. That happens a lot at schools like Cal Poly. My son attended that school.
@Katherine
For sure. For all their talk of lack of DV resources for men, MRAs have openly said they prefer targeting feminists over opening shelters. And I can recall at least instance where MRAs attacked a feminist group that happened to run a men’s DV shelter.
https://newrepublic.com/article/156411/end-gop
Good on you, David Rose!
Thank you, Susan! I hope your lemon tree is fruitful for many years to come.
This hurts every single brain cell that I have. Are they suggesting some government agency be given total control over every aspect of their lives in so far as it could relate to something within a personal relationship? Like, would this require access to financial records? And a log of household chores? And sex? And? What even is being suggested here?
OT:
I’m a giant sap, and happen to know that my crush is too. We share a fondness for a certain pair in a popular television show. So, because I’m a decent writer with a flair for dramatics, I prodded him for what he likes in stories, wrote him a story about the couple with all his favorite things, and included a confession letter at the end. The whole thing is nearly 2000 words, and I sent him it today.
I do hope that he’ll go on a date with me. I’m optimistic because he’s called me “dear” before, and likes to send me sparkly hearts. I did make sure to include the honest sentiment that it’s just fine if he wants to keep being friends- I care for his company more than whether or not he dates me. But it would be nice if he’s willing to give it a shot!
The wife and I went to see Birds of Prey at the luxury cinema. The usher serenaded everyone with some French poetry (he later admitted it was down to just 2 weeks on Duolingo, so well done! As someone with over 400 consecutive days in French on Duolingo I’m not sure I could have memorised it as well as he did) and then both my wife but especially me ate way too much while watching the movie (which we thoroughly enjoyed, I don’t honestly get the poor showing here).
Strangely at no point did it ever even occur to me to feel guilty about any MRAs missing out.
In Japan, it’s customary for women to give men gifts on Valentine’s Day. So the retailers invented another B.S. holiday, White Day, March 14, when men reciprocate by giving white-colored gifts (usually chocolate, but sometimes more expensive things).
Taiwan has Valentine’s Day, but the traditional Chinese Lovers’ Day is in August. Vega, the weaving maid, and Altair, the cowherd, neglected their Heavenly tasks because they were so much in love, so the Celestial Emperor created the Silver Stream (Milky Way) to keep them apart . Once a year (when the actual stars approach) a flock of magpies make a bridge with their wings so the two lovers can be together for one night.