By David Futrelle
Over on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit today, the regulars are working themselves into a tizzy over a terrible injustice: one of their MGTOW brothers has gotten a bunch of downvotes elsewhere on Reddit for posting a not-so-nice comment about fat women.
“I just got downvoted like 200 downvotes for saying that fat women are not attractive, what the hell?” complained narmohare. “I’m sorry my hobby isn’t whaling.”
Naturally, there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth amongst the MGTOWs and cries of outrage about the evils of PC culture and its alleged hatred of The Truth about the evils of obesity.
But some of the most visceral hate was directed not at fat women themselves but instead at the men who allegedly enable this fatness by speaking out against fat-hatred and sometimes (the horror!) even dating fat women.
“[T]here [are] men out there that keep fucking these whales,” wrote Incapaisa.
Not only that there are some openly [walking in] public with them with hand in tow.
I have 2 friends who currently have a whale as a gf.
They are in shape , make money and dated hotter ,skinnier thots but according to them from the cheating or money drain they prefer to date down. Way the fuck down .
I in college slayed a whale or two when that was last call. If you can tolerate the sheer mass of size you do get great head and usually they take it in the ass the first night.
I can’t do it long term but some men can hence they have no motivation to be at a healthy weight.
Blame the male sex drive for some of these simps actually not only fucking whales but even [committing] to one
One commenter took this argument a bit further, suggesting that if men continued to tolerate (and date and even marry) fat women it very well might send us stumbling towards the literal end of civilization itself.
“These are dark times,” wrote ilikerelish,
because what these fools are doing is creating generations of men who have been indoctrinated with the idea that fat is attractive. that is going to create a feedback loop where women will then make themselves fat to be what the guys desire so that they can get that attention.
Uh oh!
Guys will continue to want fatter and fatter women until they are so unhealthy as to not support birth, and then maybe we’ll start returning to reality in health and fitness. …
Normalizing unhealthy ideas is dangerous, and may prove to be our undoing.
We’ve been warned, I guess.
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@VictoriousParasol
Congrats! Hope you get it!
@VictoriousParasol
Congrats!
@Naglfar
I remember libertarian/Randian stuff being attractive to me as a young man, but you never had to go far in those circles before you would run in to someone professing “I have deduced the perfect model of how [X] works,” Where [X] might be something like dating, or the job market. And no matter how far from reality the model might be, folks would insist that it was actually correct, and anyone who disagreed was just too stupid to realize the truth. Which caused me to wonder how much of this belief system was just supporting other folks intellectual wankery.
I mention this because, when engaging in intellectual wankery, I suspect folks like manospherians tend toward transactional, zero-sum models precisely because they give you license to pretend you can just deduce everything. If you admit human relationships are complicated, and you might have to use messy trial and error to figure stuff out, then you can’t just explain stuff to each other and pretend you have solved everything.
@moregeekthan
It also means they’d have to acknowledge that women aren’t one-dimensional. And that their pick up artist strategies don’t work.
@David : thanks.
@moregeekthan : yes, the randian models are attractive because they are simple and easy to express, and demand more efforts to be debunked, so it’s an easy way to apparent intellectual superiority.
People usually say that when you have a hammer, every problem look like a nail. The far right actually put on blinders to make sure they only see a single hammer and consequently think there cannot be other solution than hammering.
Also, women are objects, and all objects obey rational laws of physics and economics. You can describe their motion perfectly with graphs and formulas.
If women behave unpredictably and violate those laws, it’s because they’ve been brainwashed by feminism.
Awww, I was too late to mock OxydisedCuttlefish! Who did a splendid demonstration of moving the goalposts and attempted trolling while insinuating we were the ones doing it, by the way. Also: I know and understand why it doesn’t fly here, but personally, as someone diagnosed with Assburgers for the past 23 years, I usually find autism-related jokes pretty funny myself (then again I am a Grandmaster of self-deprecation fu). Not gonna tell any here unless maybe it’s at my own personal expense (A-word privileges, as it were), but you folks tell me if it’s a no-no even then (always good to ask what the boundaries are, plus it pisses off the other side when we do it harmoniously).
Anyway, back to worthier subjects:
@Lainy – Sorry, also late for this, but yes you and your husband totally did the right thing. I think it’s also great that you both have healed enough and are mature/strong enough to have allowed yourself to fall in love with said husband given the circumstances – as we see here all the time, it often takes far less trauma for people to fall in a downward spiral of hate, bigotry and fear. I wish you both the best. And fuck that manipulative little creep, whatever else he is.
@VictoriousParasol: Congrats!
@moregeekthan: Good for you to escape that trap; as for the “simplicity” of the models/theories I suspect it’s how so many young people with more ‘net savvy than intellectual/rational savvy got ensnared into alt-right and other such crypto-fascist claptrap ideologies. While I doubt I’d have been attracted to such concepts for long even if my circumstances had been different, the combination of being raised in a fairly progressive milieu and only finding out about objectivism and libertarianism when well into my twenties likely helped guarantee I would never find them attractive.
And whatever else, I gotta say that I’m not particularly proud of myself for going over the 250 pounds mark for the first time ever during the holidays. And given how I actually notice some differences (none of them positive), I’m reasonably certain that in my personal case, it’s not a healthy weight to be. And with how much I love food it’s not gonna be easy to cut back. Oh well, can’t complain about not having any challenges in my life, I guess!
I’m coming into this late, but @Lainy
You did the right thing by disengaging with the ex-friend. In my opinion, having feelings of guilt was unnecessary, but not exactly wrong-I think the reason you had those feelings of guilt is because you’re a kind person who doesn’t want to hurt anyone. They’re a sign of your empathy, which is something the ex-friend is quite deficient in.
@Knitting Cat Lady
Being overweight and/or obese is indeed a known risk factor for several disorders. Me, I blame the combination of readily available junk food pushed by often-corrupt megacorporations and the fact our genes have yet to realize that the sugars and fats that were once hard to come by are now ubiquitous. (Think about it- when has having too much food ever been a problem for any form of life until now?)
That said, it’s not 100% clear if the reason for the risk factor is due to the actual excess weight, some kind of altered immune response, a hormonal/endocrine thing, or one of a dozen other things in which weight is just the first link in a long chain of casuality. Even then, one should keep in mind that increased risk alone doesn’t mean that you’re fated to get whatever condition you’re at risk at- and that other activities can compensate for said risks. More importantly, if future research can figure out the mechanisms in which obesity would cause issues in all those disparate body systems, we can neutralize the parts of it that would be a risk factor.
@Ohlmann:
“For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, elegant, and wrong.” — H. L. Mencken.
Amusing how RustyChump never noticed that Hilda has done a far better job of Going Her Own Way than he and his ilk ever will.
I haven’t a clue how to pronounce IronCthulhu, so in my head he’s IronCityBeer. I can’t help it — I’m from Pittsburgh, PA, the home of this very bad, very weak beer. Kind of like this troll’s posts.
@FlyByKiwi:
Have you considered learning to sew? It’s not so hard once you learn the basics, you can choose your own fabrics and styles and tailor them to fit. You can also avoid the depression of clothes shopping, and feel good when you make something you really like that’s comfortable and that fits.
You can probably find classes in your area or at a community college, maybe even a crafts center at university. If you don’t live in a city, or don’t want to learn in a class, you can find videos online. You can also probably find cheap fabric at thrift stores to practice on while you learn.
It’s fun, and a useful skill for anyone.
I have big feet and even learned to make my own shoes. 🙂 When the market won’t provide, DIY.
@IronCthulhu-
“It’s this whole idea of how they think men should consider ALL body-types sexy & beautiful or else they’re shallow, narrow-minded, chauvinist, etc while at the same time thinking it’s their right as women to expect a man to look like Jeremy Meeks”
What you fail to understand is that the world doesn’t revolve around your boner. Fat women aren’t asking for your feedback. Inquiring minds don’t want to know about your preferences.
Likewise, just because you don’t fall within what someone else considers attractive, doesn’t mean they expect you to strive to become their type to appease them. It’s a fact of life that shouldn’t need to be spelled out. Sometimes people just have no plans to fuck you, and it is what it is.
This whole doublethink act where chauvinists make insufferable demands that fat people and random women in public cease and desist not being sexy and existing in general, but then claim some outlandish dystopian nightmare scenario if they don’t get sex and validation was kinda funny at first, but its wearing reeeeeeeeal thin.
Don’t forget the part where they declare that male on female violence – either existing RL cases or part of their “men will rule” dystopia – is the fault of women for not putting out.
Though on the topic of “women getting hurt is their own fault” I saw a Facebook post linking an article stating how men are less likely to perform CPR on women due to a fear of “accidental groping.” The comments were chock full of dudes proclaiming that they would never do it because “there’s a risk of being accused of sexual assault and it’s all because of #MeToo.”
Literally, they were announcing their willingness to potentially let a woman die because they didn’t want the vanishingly small risk of being accused. Mentioning Good Samaritan laws did nothing, they’d come back with: “won’t stop her from trying to sue me!”
@sunnysombrera
To me that just sounds like a convenient excuse. It covers up that they just want women to die and allows them to sound slightly more palatable.