By David Futrelle
Just a quick little post today to bring you this gem from the Bad Women’s Anatomy subreddit, in which some dude who’s either very inexperienced or simply very bad at sex explains that most women don’t really have orgasms, even if they think they do.
I was unable to track this one to its source but, having read numerous similar theories from MGTOWs and other manosphere dickwaffles, I’m pretty sure this fellow believes his own nonsense.
These guys really like telling on themselves, huh?
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Or … could it be because most men apparently couldn’t find a clitoris with both hands and a map? Combine a likelihood of a mediocre experience with the risks women take (pregnancy, that they’ll be raped, that they’ll be stalked, that they’ll be outright murdered) and it’s a wonder women date very many men at all, or ever have casual sex ever.
Has that dude ever had an orgasm? Because it’s impossible to mistake itching or pooping for one.
The phrase “peanut butter and jealous” comes to to mind, TBH.
I always find it surprising how quickly these men admit that they’re terrible at sex. I mean, I would expect the inverse, that men would brag about sexual prowess. But, I guess when a man hates women* he wouldn’t care about how they felt.
*side note: When A Man Hates A Woman would be a good title for a documentary about the manosphere.
OP: Oh, we care about having orgasms. That’s (one of many reasons) why we *won’t* date you.
I’m autistic. I always was a social outcast and communication beyond the strictly verbal level is beyond me.
I went to an all girls school.
And EVEN I noticed that sex is a very important thing to most female identifying people!
I’m the whole a-spec rolled into one. For me sex is something that happens to other people.
Dude, it’s not that women don’t care about sex. They just don’t care about sex with YOU.
I can usually tell when I’ve had a bowel movement. Does he mean a rumble in one’s intestines or something similar? If so, yes, that is the very same sensation as what I believe is an orgasm. “Wow, that’s so hot, or maybe I shouldn’t have had beans with lunch” is something I’m always saying in the throes of passion. /s
Neither of those things are pleasant feelings and an orgasm is an extremely pleasant feeling.
How do I get ahold of whatever drugs this guy is on that makes BMs orgasmic? Would be nice when my IBS flares up.
@kupo
Well, it seems a link between pooping and orgasm can exist, at least if this reader letter to Savage Love is anything to go by.
Disclaimer: This is in no way an endorsement of Dan Savage, merely a demonstration of what you mention.
HahahahaHAHAHAHA …no.
I’m strongly tempted to go TMI here, but let’s just say that 1.) Orgasms are a full-body experience for me, unlike defecating or a “random itch” which are localized and not especially pleasant. 2.) I have multiple erogenous zones, each of which requires juuuust the right kind of stimulation. For example, one of the more unusual ones is the underside of my wrists. Yes, I can orgasm from that alone.
…It took a *lot* of experimentation to find out where they all are and exactly how to stimulate them, mind, and I suspect that most people never find all of theirs. Though nothing really works very well unless I’m fully turned on, and that’s hard to do without a partner present.
(Okay, some people might have noticed by now that I’m kind of in a “Yes, I’m a slut, yes, I like talking about my sex life, no, I don’t care who knows” kick for the past week, probably due to being irritated about someone else I know having been repeatedly slut-shamed recently. I’ll quit if this bothers people.)
I have never had a woman have a bowel movement whilst having sex with me. I hope to keep this perfect score for the rest of my life.
OP is confusing his own bodily functions and his interpretations thereof with what he imagines those of women to be, I see.
@Snowberry
That’s interesting, I have a particularly strong aversion to being touched there! Makes me squirm in a whole different way.
I like the way you make your body sound like a puzzle. Bodies are weird!
I am absolutely able to distinguish a BM, itch, sneeze, cough or hiccup from an orgasm. Orgasms are long, undulating and amazing. I shit you not.
And I would like to add that among the manospherians who claim they do think, none of them actually do. They just have some random itch or bowel movement and react: “Oh, that must have been a thought or whatever.” This theory may explain why manospherians don’t care about reasoning, being reasonable, or the life of the mind at all.
@Kat, yup the manospherians definitely confuse bowel movements with thinking – perhaps something to do with their having shit for brains? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@Kat
That would explain much about them. Though it doesn’t explain Jordan Peterson. With the diet he’s on, he probably never shits and he also never thinks, but seems to believe he is thinking.
They of the Mind is lost on these folks….
BTW, since this meme about men not finding the clitoris comes up fairly often – Is it meant literally, or more like metaphorically?
I mean, I haven’t seen anyone’s vulva up close with my own eyes, but based on medical diagrams, you couldn’t avoid finding the clitoris – that is, if you know what it is in the first place. And that’s without even asking directions from the owner of said clitoris.
On the other hand, I’d think just finding the clitoris doesn’t help much in actually pleasuring one’s partner. That’s where I’d probably need guidance from my partner, considering all the localized sensitivity and individual preferences I hear about.
So, is it really about men trying to randomly apply pressure on the clitoris, as sexual communication with their partner fails?
Or rather men who aren’t even aware that they’re expected to provide some kind of clitoral stimulation?
Or perhaps men who do attempt cunnilingus, or fingering the vulva, but aren’t aware they need to focus on the clitoris?
(Sorry if this sounds like pedantic nitpicking – it’s something I’ve been long curious about.)
For many men, the prostate is erogenous. And a bowel movement goes close enough to the prostate to tickle it. I’ve never heard of outright orgasm from taking a dump but it certainly can feel *very* good.
@Lumipuna:
I always thought the idea was more that some men don’t know which parts are which, and don’t know what the clitoris looks like in order to find it.
@Lumipuna
I think it’s mostly supposed to be the idea that most men don’t care about their partner’s pleasure and those that do don’t know how to give it.
Yutolia,
It’s certainly possible a man has heard of the clitoris as some “magic button”, but has no idea what it looks like, and no vocabulary or courage to ask his partner. (Or, as I hear, some men are just principally against asking advice in any situation.)
I suppose in that case the man would either decline from trying anything, or try to just fumble generally all around the vulva. I think these would be practically indistinguishable (from the woman’s POV) from the last two scenarios I suggested.
Naglfar – I was also thinking it’s probably that.
I someone were honestly trying to massage their partner’s clitoris, it’d take an epic failure of communication to not even locate it.