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Bad news, lesbians: You aren’t real, according to some dudes on the internet

That’s what you think, lady!

By David Futrelle

Lesbians around the world face a deep existential crisis today as it has been revealed that they do not, in fact, exist. At least according to some dudes on the internet. Specifically, some dudes on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, long a hotbed of Lesbian Denial.

In a recent discussion, a commenter by the name of NathanHollister explained that so-called “lesbians” are just straight women who can’t find quality men.

Lesbianism is not real. It’s just women who are sick and tired of unmasculine, wussy, spineless soyboy men. They will magically turn straight for a real sexy, charming man.

Basically, women who cannot find a top 20% man become lesbians. Women who can find a top 20% man but also are kinky sluts become “bi”, but mainly because they know a threesome with another girl would turn their man on.

Other commenters agreed with the “can’t get a man” theory.

“Lesbians only exist because Chad said ‘no’ and didn’t give them attention,” declared edgysecularist.

Still others feel that lesbianism is more about the hatred of men than the lack of them. According to bbhuntt:

Any ‘lesbian’ Is really a straight person who doesn’t like men and is willing to have intercourse with women rather than not have intercourse. …

Being a lesbian is the ultimate move of feminist and nothing more. It’s all a giant game

Sir_manalot suggested that it was also about status, as no one apparently has more status than women today.

[W]omen just fuck whoever they believe is highest on the social chain. Right now, women are being given a bunch of unearned power and so lesbianism is in.

Fortunately for men — or at least for the cis men who make up the overwhelming majority of MGTOWs — they have one great advantage over all these fake lesbians. And it can be found in their pants.

“You have a dick and they don’t,” wrote rejac218.

They will never know what a woman’s pussy really feels like from balls deep. You should laugh right at them.

But of course as MGTOWs they don’t spend any time at all fantasizing about said pussies. Nope! As SprinterLyfe reminded his fellow Own-Way-Goers:

Pussy is all women have to offer. By placing little or no value on pussy, we regain control of ourselves, finding legitimate freedom from feminized cultures bent on enslavement and domination of men by women.

And there’s no greater proof of the freedom these men have from women than their tendency to discuss these completely unimportant-to-them women angrily on the internet all day every day while talking about how cool their dicks are. That’s what male freedom looks like!

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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242 Comments
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Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Eric

Friendly suggestion: don’t try to “blackmail” with “agree with me or I’m not going to have sex with you” people who doesn’t even remotely show sexual interest in you.

How the fuck is that blackmail? She’s expressing disgust, not trying to coerce you into sex.

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

@Naglfar

you can never be creepy in my eyes.

@Rhuu

I think eric might just see any woman clearly saying no as a sexual advance which would explain a lot why he thinks for some reason a woman having sex with another woman is an invitation for a man to suddenly join the chat.

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
4 years ago

@Eric – Uh, Lainy was saying that she would not have sex with you. So her being interested in women would not give you, a bi guy, a shot. Because she thinks you’re gross.

Even if you did agree with her, she wouldn’t have sex with you. Because she probably thinks your ideas are gross. (don’t want to put words in her mouth)

You not understanding the obvious conclusion of your point doesn’t make you look good, my dude.

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

Eric, I wouldn’t have sex with you if someone held a gun to my head and tried to make me do it. I would tell the to shoot me. I wouldn’t fuck you even if you behavioral changed drastically. This is not me offering sex. This is me as a bi woman telling you . I. Would. Never.Want.To.Have.Sex. With.You.

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

Yeah cause I’m the one who looks pathetic and week eric. You the one that thinks if I kiss another woman in public I’m asking a man to come and fuck me.

Basically I’m saying my attraction to women has nothing to do with you or other men, especially men like you. Incase anyone but Eric was seeming to miss that.

Eric Lauder
4 years ago

@Rhuu

It was a very polite response to someone hypothizing to have sex / not have with me and implying that I could be attracted to her.

Actually, it’s the other way around: a woman have to do some effort if she want to attract me.

So, my “attraction” towards her was an invention of hers: who in her right mind thinks that people could be attracted towards an anonymous poster on the net?

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
4 years ago

@Lainy

Shorter Eric: Don’t try to force your opinions on me; that’s man’s work!

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

@ Eric

nice ablism there. I might not be in my right mind. That’s not why you disgust me. and that’s not why I’m telling you that my attraction to women has nothing to do with you a man, like you think it does. And don’t talk about me like I’m not here, I hate when trolls do that.

Eric Lauder
4 years ago

@Lainy:

Saying “no” to someone who doesn’t even remotely asked or approached you implies that you think that he’s attracted by you.

That’s entitlement, specifically entitlement towards male attention.

How so, since you claim to be atracted to women?

Looks like there’s a little anectode proving the Cyprus study…

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

@Gaebolga

that made me laugh while drinking something and now protein shake is trying to come up my nose. Haven’t that happen to me since I was like 12

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

@Eric

Your just really dumb aren’t you. Latch on to someone else troll okay. Stop being bitter because I told you no

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Eric

So, my “attraction” towards her was an invention of hers: who in her right mind thinks that people could be attracted towards an anonymous poster on the net?

You created the innuendo. She was saying she wasn’t interested. At no point did she say she was attracted to you.

David, are you reading this? Eric provides a whole new thing to deconstruct if you want.

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
4 years ago

How so, since you claim to be atracted to women?

omg omg omg did Eric just presume Lainy’s sexuality omg omg omg.

I’ll be waiting for Eric’s apology hahahaha!

I think someone recently put it in a way… A way I’m remembering…

It would be nice to have some apologies for having presumed my sexuality, but I do not want apologies at all costs: I know it’s hard to recognize your own prejudices.

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

How so, since you claim to be atracted to women?

I don’t claim, I am, I’m also married and it’s not my fault you don’t understand a no pal. Or a clear word of disgust

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Lainy

it’s not my fault you don’t understand a no pal. Or a clear word of disgust

If he doesn’t understand, it’s because he’s choosing not to. I’m sure deep down he knows full well what you mean, he’s just being a jerk*.

*I would say he’s being an ass, but that would be unfair to versatile and helpful donkeys

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
4 years ago

Dumbass wrote:

who in her right mind thinks that people could be attracted towards an anonymous poster on the net?

Wow. I didn’t think he could get any dumber.

@Dumbass

Have you actually met any humans before? Is this your first time online? How are you capable of operating a keyboard?

Eric Lauder
4 years ago

@Rhuu

“Uh, Lainy was saying that she would not have sex with you”

When attraction or lack of attraction between us was not on the table…

@Naglfar

Expressing sexual disgust towards those who didn’t sexually approach you is either sexual harassment or trying to coerce into sex.
Pick one.
The alternative being that people should be allowed to shout “you’re sexually disgusting” to random people who aren’t approaching them.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Gaebolga

How are you capable of operating a keyboard?

Can someone suspend his typing license? This is clearly a moving violation.

@Eric

Expressing sexual disgust towards those who didn’t sexually approach you is either sexual harassment or trying to coerce into sex.

She was sitting she wasn’t interested when you said all sorts of falsehoods. That’s not harassment. You want to know what harassment looks like, read our thread on catcalling. You are not being harassed, you are merely being disingenuous.

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

@Naglfar

Yeah well half my kids aren’t showing u to class today because of the weather and I’ve got nothing else to do for the next half hour while I wait to see if anyone is coming at all. My private lessons canceled today, the snow storm in my state is having is really messing with my schedule so this is a nice way to not think about it lol. Would you like to hear something nice my husband decided to do because I think it’s really sweet? I know I talk about him a lot on this blog, I guess it’s the newly wed phase and me missing him so much.

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

Oh my god, now I’m sexually harassing mr. “all lesbians are just to give men boners so they can get super pregnant”. I love it.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Lainy
I’d be happy to hear about your husband.

Eric Lauder
4 years ago

Which part of this is unclear?

Saying “no” to someone who doesn’t even remotely asked or approached you implies that you think that he’s attracted by you.

That’s entitlement, specifically entitlement to male attention.

Plus, it would be nice to see David trying to deconstruct the above affirmation 😀

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@Eric
You seem to be having trouble with blockquote, so let me give you a tutorial.

If you have javascript enabled
Method 1:
1. Copy the text that you want to quote.
2. Paste it into the reply field.
3. Highlight the text.
4. Click the ‘quote’ button.

Method 2:
1. Copy the text that you want to quote.
2. Click the ‘quote’ button; it will insert the opening tag.
3. Paste the text after the tag that was inserted.
4. Click the ‘quote’ button again; it will insert the closing tag.

If you have javascript disabled
1. Copy the text that you want to quote.
2. Type <blockquote>
3. Paste the text after the tag.
4. Type </blockquote>

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

@Naglfar

So I definitely out number him in the number of tattoos right now. He got his first one about a year ago which is one of his life mottos. He said he’s been wanting to get something for me since we just got married, but he didn’t want to do a name or a face because that’s both bad luck and cheesy, so he decided to get a small moon with two bats, one smaller and one large to represent us flying off into the night as bats together. It was the sweetest thing.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
4 years ago

@Lainy

I’m tempted to make a joke about how I’ve never been a supporter of sexual harassment, but I’ll make an exception in this case, but Dumbass isn’t capable of understanding it as humor.

…which would actually make it funnier. So let’s just say I made the joke.