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Bad news, lesbians: You aren’t real, according to some dudes on the internet

That’s what you think, lady!

By David Futrelle

Lesbians around the world face a deep existential crisis today as it has been revealed that they do not, in fact, exist. At least according to some dudes on the internet. Specifically, some dudes on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, long a hotbed of Lesbian Denial.

In a recent discussion, a commenter by the name of NathanHollister explained that so-called “lesbians” are just straight women who can’t find quality men.

Lesbianism is not real. It’s just women who are sick and tired of unmasculine, wussy, spineless soyboy men. They will magically turn straight for a real sexy, charming man.

Basically, women who cannot find a top 20% man become lesbians. Women who can find a top 20% man but also are kinky sluts become “bi”, but mainly because they know a threesome with another girl would turn their man on.

Other commenters agreed with the “can’t get a man” theory.

“Lesbians only exist because Chad said ‘no’ and didn’t give them attention,” declared edgysecularist.

Still others feel that lesbianism is more about the hatred of men than the lack of them. According to bbhuntt:

Any ‘lesbian’ Is really a straight person who doesn’t like men and is willing to have intercourse with women rather than not have intercourse. …

Being a lesbian is the ultimate move of feminist and nothing more. It’s all a giant game

Sir_manalot suggested that it was also about status, as no one apparently has more status than women today.

[W]omen just fuck whoever they believe is highest on the social chain. Right now, women are being given a bunch of unearned power and so lesbianism is in.

Fortunately for men — or at least for the cis men who make up the overwhelming majority of MGTOWs — they have one great advantage over all these fake lesbians. And it can be found in their pants.

“You have a dick and they don’t,” wrote rejac218.

They will never know what a woman’s pussy really feels like from balls deep. You should laugh right at them.

But of course as MGTOWs they don’t spend any time at all fantasizing about said pussies. Nope! As SprinterLyfe reminded his fellow Own-Way-Goers:

Pussy is all women have to offer. By placing little or no value on pussy, we regain control of ourselves, finding legitimate freedom from feminized cultures bent on enslavement and domination of men by women.

And there’s no greater proof of the freedom these men have from women than their tendency to discuss these completely unimportant-to-them women angrily on the internet all day every day while talking about how cool their dicks are. That’s what male freedom looks like!

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
4 years ago

@Ooglyboggles
Glad to hear it. The video you posted was alarming — but it’s easy to misunderstand a message on the Internet. All best wishes.

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

The idea of the 20% top men are the only one getting beautiful young women attention is really funny to me. I’m a conventionally attractive young woman and 4 nights ago I had an erotic dream about beetlejuice for some reason and enjoyed it. Only thing i thought about when I woke up was “when the fuck did I last watch beetlejuice. Why was beetle juice in my subconscious all of a sudden” but then the really creepy thing is after I had that dream Pinterest started giving me pins about beetlejuice and i don’t follow Anything about beetlejuice. That’s how deep are phones listen to us it probably heard me talking in my sleep.

@oogly
You are loved here. I hope work and the college transfers goes well for you.

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

I’m blazed as a kite right now, so I’m sorry if that was over sharing. I don’t want it to seem like I’m into corpse, it’s just his voice I swear. I like raspy voices. Is he a corpse? He’s a ghost, a ghost corpse demon thing.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

@Lainy : I think sex with supernatural entity can be icky, but that’s on a case by case entity. He have more personality than a MTGOW so it would up to whether his skin is still in good shape, somewhat supple, and if he don’t stink to all heaven. As a sort-of ghost, he could be very presentable, but I also see him as trying to be repulsive to gross out people.

While saying what would be definitely oversharing, I have had stranger, and ickier, erotic dreams.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
4 years ago

@Catalpa
I’ve heard “you’re not asexual, no one just wants to have sex with you” used as a put-down. I really don’t get it, since it seems like a win-win situation to a person uninterested in sex.

(I assume people saying things like that don’t know not all asexuals are averse to sexual activities.)

uglykoala
uglykoala
4 years ago

Homosexual woman stares at her hand, shrieking as it slowly fades from existence.

Jackson Ayres
Jackson Ayres
4 years ago

Now, I’m curious, if lesbians and bi-women are just the product of “not having a man”, then what’s the deal with gay and bi-men? Do they just want more of the “top 20%” of men too?

Katamount
Katamount
4 years ago

Ohhhhhhkayyyy… you know I get that MGTOWs don’t believe women have the same capacity to think as their galaxy-brained selves, but to be incapable of having basic preferences? Misogyny breaks brains, folks.

I hate to say it, but I think there’s some subconscious porn influence going on here. If the only exposure they have to lesbians is the male-gaze-centred adult material around the web, it just reinforces the idea that lesbian attraction is merely for the gratification of men. I might be reading too much into it though.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Jackson Ayres

what’s the deal with gay and bi-men? Do they just want more of the “top 20%” of men too?

IIRC MGTOWs think that gay men are really horny straight men who can’t find a woman so they start having sex with each other. Or maybe that’s what another branch of the manosphere thinks, they all blend together after a while. It’s wrong in a different way than their view on lesbians, but obviously wrong and homophobic nevertheless.

@Katamount

you know I get that MGTOWs don’t believe women have the same capacity to think as their galaxy-brained selves, but to be incapable of having basic preferences?

It also contradicts another manosphere idea: if women are incapable of having basic preferences, what about the supposedly universal preference for Chads? I’m sure they have an illogical explanation they can pull out of their asses.

I hate to say it, but I think there’s some subconscious porn influence going on here. If the only exposure they have to lesbians is the male-gaze-centred adult material around the web, it just reinforces the idea that lesbian attraction is merely for the gratification of men.

I think you are correct that MGTOWs got their ideas on lesbians, like many other things, from porn. Especially seeing as MGTOWs have previously shown themselves to be very interested in porn. I’m guessing their definition of “going their own way” from women doesn’t include not watching adult content that has women (as pretty much all straight or lesbian porn does).

Viscaria
Viscaria
4 years ago

“You have a dick and they don’t,” wrote rejac218. “They will never know what a woman’s pussy really feels like from balls deep. You should laugh right at them.”

I’m just fascinated by this. What could it possibly even mean? I will never know what a lot of things feel like to other people. I will never know what someone else tastes when they eat cake, and I can eat cake myself. Where does the humour come in?

I think maybe rejac218 is of the opinion that having a penis in a vagina very far is the most pleasure a human being could experience, and so the laughter is because (cis) lesbians will never be able to experience this. I’m not being facetious, by the way; I really do not know for sure what he’s trying to convey. This is just my best guess.

But how does he know that’s the most pleasure someone can have? After all, he will never know what it feels like to have something inside his vagina very far. He will never know what it feels like to have his clit played with or play with it himself. Maybe those are even better! Who knows? Not rejac218.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

@Viscaria : I agree with your interpretation, and I would add that I have a vague and nauseous feeling that he think of that as some way to brand someone as his property.

I mean, he clearly isn’t concerned by the feeling of his partner at all, but I feel that above simple selfishness he is enjoying substracting something to his partner in some way.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
4 years ago

@occasional reader:

Chad ? Incel lingo on MGTOW forum ?

These right-wing groups tend to cross-fertilize each other. By which I mean whatever bullshit one of them comes up with soon spreads to the rest.

@rv97:

When I mentioned not having changed my browser configuration recently, that included extensions (adding, removing, or changing their configurations). Sorry that wasn’t made more clear.

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
4 years ago

It also contradicts another manosphere idea: if women are incapable of having basic preferences, what about the supposedly universal preference for Chads? I’m sure they have an illogical explanation they can pull out of their asses.

If I were to hazard a guess they think of women as some kind of sex-dispensing robots programmed to pursue Chad, as opposed to a person with an internal life who has likes, dislikes, feelings etc. Like a man, or something. You know, dehumanizing and objectifying and all that rot.

I feel stupider just having written that down.

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

I wonder how they would react if they were introduced to their counterparts in the lesbian separatist movement.

Also, they’ve clearly never heard of dildos.

Couch Thing
4 years ago

I guess this counts as magical thinking?

I am glad that this site exists, but every time I come here I feel like like my brain breaks a little more. I have a rut in my forehead from rubbing it. Can we fix these people with education?

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Battering Lamb

If I were to hazard a guess they think of women as some kind of sex-dispensing robots programmed to pursue Chad, as opposed to a person with an internal life who has likes, dislikes, feelings etc.

That sounds like something they’d say, that women would have blind drives but not conscious preferences, while men have something more.

@Anonymous
They probably wouldn’t be fans, simply because the political lesbians are women.

Couch Thing
4 years ago

@Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)

You win. I shall not attempt to think of any funny things to say about this issue, because I could never top yours.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

Say, if lesbians don’t exist, then how are they taking over Christmas?

Leum
Leum
4 years ago

@Naglfar: it’s simple: lesbians don’t exist so if they take over Christmas, Christmas will also cease to exist.

Beyond Ocean
Beyond Ocean
4 years ago

@Surplus

Were you keeping your browsers up to date? I think I recognize the behaviour you describe and I’m 99% sure it’s a browser optimization, since it happens in every page for me, from quite a few Firefox versions back.

It is possible for pages to detect if they’re visible or not, but it’s also in the name of resource optimizations primarily, because that’s what most people seem to care about most when choosing browsers.

I share your concerns about JS-heavy web pages, but also, you’re not really fighting the capitalist system by keeping pages in an unfocused browser window. Sorry.

Jesalin, Goddess of Lust & Pleasure
Jesalin, Goddess of Lust & Pleasure
4 years ago

Basically, lesbians are women coming their own way.

:heart:

Ingmar
Ingmar
4 years ago

Didn’t have time to read comment so I’m likely ninjaed, but, if women only seek “top 20%” of men otherwise they become lesbian, first there should be close to 80% of lesbians, but yeah I forget, they think this top 20% shares most women.
But even if the fault is how pussified us men are, there would still be technically this top 20% and I guess a part of women who couldn’t share their part of these ones would still turn a lesbian. Or maybe they mean that they are so pussy they wouldn’t as they call it, settle for betabucks?
But I guess their logic is base on the high of the moment, then they choose another one, with no unifying coherence.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
4 years ago

@Beyond Ocean:

Hold on — are you seriously suggesting that browser manufacturers would silently make a change that broke major functionality? (In this case, the ability to go do something else and come back to it if a page was being slow to load, rather than being forced to single-task then.)

And how would this explain TWN not displaying some data (temperature, current sky conditions) if its site is not kept focused until it’s done loading?

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
4 years ago

Imagine being so incredibly insecure and entitled that you think women would go out their fucking and date each other just to spite you?

The fact that this is 2020 and the last 5 years have been an absolute dumpster fire of Nazi resurgence and generalized misogyny, coupled together with ever-growing terrorist attacks against women, and yet women are still into men, should provide the ultime proof that sexual orientation is not a choice.

And that’s not even counting the last 5,000 years of human civilization…

Beyond Ocean
Beyond Ocean
4 years ago

@Surplus

Hold on — are you seriously suggesting that browser manufacturers would silently make a change that broke major functionality?

What can I say, it’s a tradeoff. It allows people to open a hundred tabs and not blow up their memory completely, apparently.

I wouldn’t call the fact that you have to wait for the site to finish rendering after switching back to it “breaking major functionality”. At the end of it, you should end up with the same site after a minor delay. You said as much about Facebook.

I checked TWN quickly, and I wasn’t able to see any breakage. I did see a big delay, and the site made my CPU skyrocket when I clicked anything. It’s probably just a really shitty JS-coded site, so that’s why it probably broke for you.