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MGTOWs write virtual love letters to their Fleshlights: “Who knew $60 could replace a woman completely?”

MGTOWs do love them some Fleshlights

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By David Futrelle

So-called Men Going Their Own Way are some of the most ignorant motherfuckers on the entire planet. But they do have a certain expertise in a small number of areas — whining, cooking inedible food in great quantities, and of course the fine art of fucking inanimate objects.

Yep, MGTOWs sure do love the Fleshlight — the silicone vagina-simulator that comes inside a plastic shell that looks a bit like the world’s largest flashlight — and aren’t shy about proclaiming this love to the world, at least in the virtual safe spaces MGTOWs have carved out for themselves online.

“[I] fully believe my fleshlight saved my life. by creating an experience in masturbation that was as good as real sex,” wrote TheTruthSetYouFree in the MGTOW subreddit.

“Who knew $60 could replace a woman completely,” he added in another r/MGTOW thread.

Thank you modern silky smooth stretchable plastics. I was released from my hormonal illusions. For a while I still wanted women. I still dated. But sex had 0% power over me. What I saw shocked me. Women literally have nothing else to offer.

“When men en mass value sex dolls, VR, and fleshlights over a woman, it’s game over for the female species,” gloated Gutsybukel, another MGTOW Redditor, arguing (in a separate comment) that

Women are always thinking about themselves and what is there to be gained on their behalf. By men having fleshlights and sex dolls, [women] lose their power and become null and void.

A woman, argued MGTOW Redditor DangZagnut, is essentially

a fleshlight that complains a lot. I can buy a fleshlight for the cost of one date. Except the fleshlight is superior in the sense that it doesn’t have the inherent liabilities as a relationship does.

Over on the MGTOW.com forums, the sentiments are similar.

A Fleshlight, snorts a MGTOW called Boar, is

[a] one-time investment that I don’t have to keep ‘hhaaappppyyyyyy’ or worry about its collision with the Wall and subsequent lunacy.

Oh, and it can’t f~~~in’ tweet!

“We’re getting married next month,” another commenter joked about his Fleshlight. “You’re all invited.”

“[F]leshlights are better than women in every way.” enthused a MGTOW by the name of Anthony.

Now only if they made a version where it would make me a sandwhich afterwards and they’ll be perfect.

That said, not all MGTOWs are quite so fervent in their Fleshlight fanhood. Some prefer vagina-simulators from other brands. Some, as one MGTOW.com commenter put it, “[p]refer to use a human female body to masturbate with.” Then there’s the MGTOW Redditor who insists that his own particular dick is just too big for a Fleshlight to handle.

There’s also a small contingent of men who prefer to craft their own Fleshlight-equivalents. Some keep it all-natural, and simply carve out the inside of a cucumber. Others are willing to devote more time to fashion something a little more sophisticated.

“A vagina is essentially a blind pouch,” explained hmskl’d on MGTOW.com.

It is a muscular walled canal with a soft flexible lining that provides lubrication and sensation. …

It is so simple in design that it can be reproduced by any beginning anatomy student over a weekend in a homeschool science project using nothing more than some kitchen wrap, aloe containing lotion and some cotton and foam pillow stuffing. I mean the engineering of this is so basic that it only takes simple pressure tweaks and twirly twists in design to actually improve on the sensation. If done fairly correctly .. it will likely produce a “holy-moly” result.

Holy Moly indeed. I think we have at last found a MGTOW who is really and truly Going His Own Way.

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Travis
Travis
4 years ago

Tim,

Of course. He is a recent immigrant (with an accent), no less, not some second generation Polish American like Meathead Stivic or something.

The thing is, that blog is so preposterously racist, and so incredibly willing to ignore evidence that contradicts its meme (there are tons of pictures of Taylor Swift in happy skin-to-skin contact with black men), that it is the perfect target blog for David Futrelle to make a mockery of.

A lot of former Heartiste commenters have taken roost there. The most racist ones in particular.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
4 years ago

@Dalillama:

Under the old Brehon legal system, a woman whose husband didn’t perform his duties in the bedroom was legally entitled to take a lover, and her husband legally required to treat her children as his own.

It wasn’t just children conceived in his household: it was the custom for any unmarried woman who found herself pregnant to name the local chief as the father. Apparently, the chiefs were cool with this because it made them out to be total alpha Chads ?, plus the kid would be raised in the chief’s family (or, more likely, fostered out)

There was no distinction between children conceived in and out of wedlock in Brehon Law when it came to the distribution of an inheritance. This was one of the things the Anglo-Normans found particularly odious (apart from, you know, mostly fining criminals instead of imprisoning and/or mutilating them)– not only did these “barbarians” not pass authority from father to son like decent people, they let bastards inherit! Degenerates!

In fact, the only mention of homosexuality in that code held that if a man was too busy with his boyfriend(s) to satisfy his wife, she could seek divorce on that account.

Under Brehon Law, a woman’s testimony was not normally acceptable in court, except on one occasion: if a husband refused to grant a divorce, the woman could take him to court and spill all the tea about him and his marital failings in front of the judges. I wonder how many guys dared to go through with that! In any case, when a woman left, she took her personal property and her dowry back.

It’s sometimes spun in Ireland that Brehon Law was somehow very liberal and enlightened because of stuff like this– in many ways it was extremely inequitable– but it was relentlessly pragmatic and designed for a sparsely populated country in which there was no centralised authority to speak of (the notion that there was a High King at Tara who exercised sovereignty over the entire island was a pleasant fantasy of mediaeval historians mooning about the Good Old Days™ before those awful Sasanachs showed up). The only institution a person could count on for protection was their own family (their immediate family and larger kin-group) so families had to work. There was no point in prolonging a marriage that one or both partners wanted out of; indeed, it was downright detrimental to the social fabric. Trial marriages were a thing too– get married for a year and make sure you can stand one another before committing to the long haul. Some historians estimate that the bulk of Irish people only contracted Brehon marriages until as late as the eighteenth century and never bothered having their unions validated by the Church, which makes me laugh when right-wing Catholics start bleating about “traditional marriage” in this country. In fact, the performative “family values” of the conservative Christian set make me laugh generally: they can only maintain a façade of same because of the modern social safety net. My ancestors had to live their “family values” and were far more realistic about it as a result.

Sorry, ranting now. For anyone interested in this stuff, I’d recommend Fergus Kelly’s A Guide To Early Irish Law. It’s horribly expensive (a result of it being a short-print-run book by an academic outfit) but your library might be able to snag a copy on Inter-Library Loan.

Dalillama
Dalillama
4 years ago

Trial marriages were a thing too– get married for a year and make sure you can stand one another before committing to the long haul

The basis of one of my absolute favorite stories from Irish history. It seems that Grainne ní Mhaille contracted such a trial union with Risdeárd an Iarainn Bourke, and moved with him into his fortress tower at Rockfleet. Some months into the marriage, Bourke went off to do some administrative duties on his lands. When he came back, he found Rockfleet was full of Grainne’s retainers who won’t let him in. And here’s Grainne herself, shouting down from the window “Risdeárd Bourke, I divorce thee! And I’m keeping the castle!” And she did.

IronCthulhu
IronCthulhu
4 years ago

@Demonhype

We’ll set up a fund to ensure there is an artificial vagina for every MRA, MGTOW, etc penis, and I think you would be surprised at how many evil feminists would be eagerly donating to it!

It’s really just sour grapes with these guys, and all women know it. But give the tech another ~20 to mature. Whether it’s VR or sex robots, men really will be just as happy with that as they would be in a relationship. But I doubt that feminists will be as relieved as you think they will.

If a large number of unwanted men just walk away from the table and stop trying altogether, the remaining men will realize they don’t have to try as hard any more. And women will have to compete over the remaining men unless you’re into polyamory.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@MeltedCthulhu

If a large number of unwanted men just walk away from the table and stop trying altogether, the remaining men will realize they don’t have to try as hard any more. And women will have to compete over the remaining men unless you’re into polyamory.

LOL

I mean, do you seriously think this is what will happen? MRAs and MGTOW are a tiny fraction of the population, and I don’t think any feminists were going after them anyway. Really, the only major effect would be that we wouldn’t keep getting hit on by annoying men we don’t want to date. The only men I or any other feminist would want to date are not the ones who would be walking away. So no, there will not be increased competition for men.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

Whether it’s VR or sex robots, men really will be just as happy with that as they would be in a relationship.

I’d be much happier* single than with a man like that, anyway, so it’s really a win-win.

*I mean, even studies show this. It’s scientific fact.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

I can’t see why VR or sex robots would compete with real human for relationship.

Also, if a large number of men stop trying to get relationship to concentrate on thoses toys, roughly as many women will do that too. Men and women behave in much of the same way after all.

IronCthulhu
IronCthulhu
4 years ago

@Naglfar

MRAs and MGTOW are a tiny fraction of the population, and I don’t think any feminists were going after them anyway.

I’m not talking about MRAs & MGTOW. Even if they were all misogynists (they’re not, just like how feminists don’t all hate men), being a misogynist isn’t the only reason for not being able to find a partner. Looks, mental health issues, emotional trauma, can all be reasons for lack of a romantic partner.

Then there are men who could get a partner but who will opt for the convenience of technology instead. It’s not just going to be cheeto-encrusted neckbeards.

@Ohlmann

I can’t see why VR or sex robots would compete with real human for relationship.

Assuming we’re talking about someone who has options. These products are being marketed towards people who feel that they don’t. It could also be for people who want a break from relationships or who even want to use it as a way of spicing up a relationship.

Also, if a large number of men stop trying to get relationship to concentrate on thoses toys, roughly as many women will do that too.

Or they’ll just share the remaining men among themselves in a hookup culture, unless these men start raising the bar too high for a large chunk of the female population.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

@IronCthulhu : I mean, I am all in favor of soldiers getting that instead of prostitute, but that don’t prevent them from also getting a wive. Same thing for submariners and more generally sailors. So, just like the bottom two, it really isn’t in competition.

Also, I know of roughly the same number of men and women who don’t currently try to get into a relation for whatever reason. In both case, generally speaking it’s because [the other gender] are clearly all asshole. Really no gender difference here.

Funnily enough, while the number are too small to do statistics on that, it seem to apply to homosexuals just as well as to heterosexuals. I guess that humans in general are assholes.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
4 years ago

Heh, I imagine that even if sex robots became A Thing, a significant proportion of the guys who’d end up buying them wouldn’t even use them: they’d form clubs and stuff to obsess endlessly over them.

Sexbotter A: Oh, you’re still using the old phthalate-free integument? I find the new metamaterials far more realistic.
Sexbotter B (determined not to be upstaged): Well, you know, I was going for a more retro vibe…

(I have a friend from university who was– is– a keen scuba diver. When his kids started being born, his opportunities to dive became more limited, so it used to infuriate him when he was able to get away for a few precious hours that many diving club members were far more interested in attending on the pier all afternoon stroking their chins and opining on the finer parts of diving technique and equipment than, you know, actually diving. It goes without saying that nearly all these types were men seeking to impress others with their supposed erudition and the ridiculous amounts of money they were spending on equipment for their hobby ?)

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@TwistedCthulhu

Even if they were all misogynists (they’re not, just like how feminists don’t all hate men)

False equivalency. Not only has it been repeatedly shown that the vast majority of feminists do not hate men but have more positive attitudes towards men than non-feminists, but the thing is that feminism is an actual human rights movement. MRA and MGTOW are reactionary backlashes that don’t help anyone. By definition, these movements are misogynistic and their members are misogynists.

Then there are men who could get a partner but who will opt for the convenience of technology instead. It’s not just going to be cheeto-encrusted neckbeards.

There already are men who could get partners but aren’t actively seeking them. Net result of technology still = no noticeable change.
When pornography began to gain popularity, conservatives made apocalyptic predictions about it ruining society. That has yet to come true. I imagine the same will be true of sexbots if and when they become a thing.

@Ohlmann

I guess that humans in general are assholes.

Probably true.

@Cat Mara

a significant proportion of the guys who’d end up buying them wouldn’t even use them: they’d form clubs and stuff to obsess endlessly over them.

Oh, for sure. That’s what seems to have happened with the MGTOWs and their fleshlights (and pillowcases full of aloe).

Crip Dyke
4 years ago

And women will have to compete over the remaining men

lol

The regressives just can’t stop assuming that we are all compelled by biology.

We don’t **have to** do anything. If we don’t want to date you, we just won’t date you. The fact that there are other people we do not want to date who have declared themselves married to their fuckdolls doesn’t enter into it.

Weird how that works, free will and all.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

Something that the topic of sexbot inspire me is that, as an alternative to the classic turing test, I would say that if an Artificial Intelligence is competent enough to make me want to integrate it to my family (as a significant other or as an adopted children), then that AI is A – sentient and B – entitled to be considered (and protected) as a full person in the society at large.

IronCthulhu
IronCthulhu
4 years ago

@Naglfar

There already are men who could get partners but aren’t actively seeking them. Net result of technology still = no noticeable change.

I never said men who could but don’t. I said men who could but who opt for the convenience of technology instead.

When pornography began to gain popularity, conservatives made apocalyptic predictions about it ruining society. That has yet to come true.

Depends on what predictions you’re talking about. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are lots of negative consequences that we’ve simply adapted to, like the boiling frog in the pot.

I imagine the same will be true of sexbots if and when they become a thing.

One of my less dystopic predictions about sex tech is that it will culminate in a kind of sexual egalitarianism. I mentioned earlier about the Striking Vipers episode of Black Mirror.

If this became the way people had sex in the future, where you could enter a virtual world with any physical appearance you wanted, your looks would effectively no longer be a factor. Neither would gender. Or even personality when I think about it.

In an online world where you’re connected to literally billions of people, you couldn’t even be a big enough asshole on purpose to not be a match for somebody. And if you were, you could simply pair up with an AI-driven character or something.

@Crip Dyke

The regressives just can’t stop assuming that we are all compelled by biology.

If you’re immune to your biology then more power to you.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I see we’re having a merry trollmas in here.

It’s real cute that MGTOW think that sexbots will provide all the sex and compliments of a girlfriend without the man having to put in any time, energy or money. Technology is plenty time and energy consuming. A robot that can pass as a human is going to cost a lot just up front. Then there’s the cost of keeping it powered, maintainence and repairs, cleaning, etc. A lot more money than springing for dinner on Valentine’s day. And you know men are going to race to compete with each other over who has the newest, hottest, most high tech bot. You all going to wind up replacing them every few years.

But, sure. Keep on with the fantasy that men will leave us en masse for sexbots and we’ll finally be sorry we didn’t want to turn ourselves into subservient wives for misogynists. The sexbot revolution has been predicted and not come more times than the rapture at this point.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@AluminumFoilCthulhu

If you’re immune to your biology then more power to you.

We all are “immune to biology” the way you define it. Part of what separates humans from many simpler animals is that we have the ability to control our own actions and aren’t simply motivated by primal drives. Freud was disproven decades ago. Plus, biology doesn’t work that way anyway. We are all very much still bound by biology in what is does mean, such as that we are all mortal and carbon-based life forms.

If this became the way people had sex in the future, where you could enter a virtual world with any physical appearance you wanted, your looks would effectively no longer be a factor.

Looks are for the most part not a factor. People of all appearances can find partners, regardless of what the incels tell you. But hey, if technology makes sex better, I don’t really think that’s a problem. In such a future I’d be far more worried about the same technology things I worry about today; that is, massive corporations controlling our data.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@WWTH

A robot that can pass as a human is going to cost a lot just up front.

If one even can. The only sexbots I’ve seen for sale are creepy and would not fool most people into thinking they’re humans.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Yeah, I’d probably prefer VR sex to robot sex because the uncanny valley effect is too much for me. But I just can’t see VR sex ever feeling like more than high tech masturbation as opposed to something that can replace a relationship.

Tohka
Tohka
4 years ago

When men en mass value sex dolls, VR, and fleshlights over a woman, it’s game over for the female species,” gloated Gutsybukel, another MGTOW Redditor, arguing (in a separate comment) that

Women are always thinking about themselves and what is there to be gained on their behalf. By men having fleshlights and sex dolls, [women] lose their power and become null and void.

The female species? Seriously? I know these men are young but they ignore biology so blantantly.

This whole mentality of wishing for a genocide of half of the human species because women are human beings with rights and autonomy is incredibly alarming. I don’t see mgtow surviving much long the more their narrative turns away from “just men living their best lives” and into “sex toys will eliminate women from the world for good!!!!” Alot of spaces online are being wiped clean because of their hate speech and call to violence. I do hope they’re next on reddits chopping block and that they’re being watched on some sites. I know they branched into r/mgtow2 where they wanted to seperate from all the misogyny but even then it’s still has posts like ‘what use is a woman’ etc. Mgtow is conditional. They know it. It has never been about general self improvement but to whine at women in general at the door before they leave. And they want to rag every man down to their miserable level. If women were to drop everything, relinquish our rights and become chained to a stove, they’ll happily jump on board again. They want sex slaves. It’s pathetic and I’m disturbed that they continue their rethoric of wishing for our genocide as if it’s nothing.

Also they completely ignore normal men and women who want families? The entire LGBT community? Or the fact that sex toys like sex dolls, regardless of their advancements, will just stay in the realm of porn?

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

@Naglfar : while most of the time, and in particular for relationship, primal instinct are more of a polite list of suggestions in the back of your brain, sometime it … isn’t a polite suggestion. I don’t say that at all with painful memories of having to seek a neighbor to get rid of something I have phobia for.

Now, is there *anyone* who feel compelled so strongly to find a mate that they lose all reasons and switch to reptilien brain ? I very highly doubt it. And it’s not the attitude of the MRA bozo that will convince me of that.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

@tohka : why would sex dolls stay in the realm of porn ? I mean, apart from the fact it’s deep into science fiction and that it can cause a lot of ethic problems, an artificial companion would have a lot of use. Helping spacionauts staying sane for year-long missions, like Mars mission, for example, without inflating the count of actual human too much.

Sex functions would be quite secondary to thoses artificial intelligent, that being said. Then again, in a relationship, sex is often secondary.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Ohlmann

Now, is there *anyone* who feel compelled so strongly to find a mate that they lose all reasons and switch to reptilien brain ? I very highly doubt it. And it’s not the attitude of the MRA bozo that will convince me of that.

That’s closer to what I meant. I know people can have phobias and I don’t mean to hurt those with phobias at all. I have some of my own. What I meant is that people don’t have the uncontrollable need to reproduce that some manospherians think we do.

Tohka
Tohka
4 years ago

@OhlMann
Oh it’s my belief just purely based from what is seen already with other sex toys. In porn, it’s a common tool that alot of people find pleasure in and outside of it, it’s something personal you keep inside the bedroom and.. online lol (but with how the climate of politics is shifting towards becoming much more conservative than in past due to alot of conservative younger gens, openly discussing anything with sex and sex toys could shift dramatically too.. ) . I haven’t experienced anyone un ironically consider their sex toys as partners in public which is what alot of mgtows hope to change in lieu of replacing half of the human species right now. It’s disturbing. I can’t imagine having the energy to wish for millions of deaths based on their sex alone

I can see what you’re saying about space flights but like you said, it’s Sci fi right now. I kinda hope we fix our own environmental issues first before we go off into another..

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Tohka

I can’t imagine having the energy to wish for millions of deaths based on their sex alone

It’s probably a good thing that you can’t do that. It means you’re not a monster like them.

Tohka
Tohka
4 years ago

@Naglfar
Yup!
I’m sorry it’s not on topic but I love your dog in your picture so much lol