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By David Futrelle
So-called Men Going Their Own Way are some of the most ignorant motherfuckers on the entire planet. But they do have a certain expertise in a small number of areas — whining, cooking inedible food in great quantities, and of course the fine art of fucking inanimate objects.
Yep, MGTOWs sure do love the Fleshlight — the silicone vagina-simulator that comes inside a plastic shell that looks a bit like the world’s largest flashlight — and aren’t shy about proclaiming this love to the world, at least in the virtual safe spaces MGTOWs have carved out for themselves online.
“[I] fully believe my fleshlight saved my life. by creating an experience in masturbation that was as good as real sex,” wrote TheTruthSetYouFree in the MGTOW subreddit.
“Who knew $60 could replace a woman completely,” he added in another r/MGTOW thread.
Thank you modern silky smooth stretchable plastics. I was released from my hormonal illusions. For a while I still wanted women. I still dated. But sex had 0% power over me. What I saw shocked me. Women literally have nothing else to offer.
“When men en mass value sex dolls, VR, and fleshlights over a woman, it’s game over for the female species,” gloated Gutsybukel, another MGTOW Redditor, arguing (in a separate comment) that
Women are always thinking about themselves and what is there to be gained on their behalf. By men having fleshlights and sex dolls, [women] lose their power and become null and void.
A woman, argued MGTOW Redditor DangZagnut, is essentially
a fleshlight that complains a lot. I can buy a fleshlight for the cost of one date. Except the fleshlight is superior in the sense that it doesn’t have the inherent liabilities as a relationship does.
Over on the MGTOW.com forums, the sentiments are similar.
A Fleshlight, snorts a MGTOW called Boar, is
[a] one-time investment that I don’t have to keep ‘hhaaappppyyyyyy’ or worry about its collision with the Wall and subsequent lunacy.
Oh, and it can’t f~~~in’ tweet!
“We’re getting married next month,” another commenter joked about his Fleshlight. “You’re all invited.”
“[F]leshlights are better than women in every way.” enthused a MGTOW by the name of Anthony.
Now only if they made a version where it would make me a sandwhich afterwards and they’ll be perfect.
That said, not all MGTOWs are quite so fervent in their Fleshlight fanhood. Some prefer vagina-simulators from other brands. Some, as one MGTOW.com commenter put it, “[p]refer to use a human female body to masturbate with.” Then there’s the MGTOW Redditor who insists that his own particular dick is just too big for a Fleshlight to handle.
There’s also a small contingent of men who prefer to craft their own Fleshlight-equivalents. Some keep it all-natural, and simply carve out the inside of a cucumber. Others are willing to devote more time to fashion something a little more sophisticated.
“A vagina is essentially a blind pouch,” explained hmskl’d on MGTOW.com.
It is a muscular walled canal with a soft flexible lining that provides lubrication and sensation. …
It is so simple in design that it can be reproduced by any beginning anatomy student over a weekend in a homeschool science project using nothing more than some kitchen wrap, aloe containing lotion and some cotton and foam pillow stuffing. I mean the engineering of this is so basic that it only takes simple pressure tweaks and twirly twists in design to actually improve on the sensation. If done fairly correctly .. it will likely produce a “holy-moly” result.
Holy Moly indeed. I think we have at last found a MGTOW who is really and truly Going His Own Way.
But Demonhype, thinking that far about dah womenz would require treating them like people. And then they wouldn’t be MGTOWs anymore.
@Moggie
Laziness? Toxic masculinity? A combination of the two, maybe? That’s what I’d guess.
Dear David,
Here is a White Nationalist blog that spun out of Heartiste, that is a good source of a ton of material.
https://paworldandtimes.wordpress.com/2019/12/21/diversity-is-alien-microbiota/
The idiot claims Taylor Swift does not even want to touch a black little girl. There are tons of pictures of her getting amorous with adult black men, but this moron chooses to ignore those.
The blogger is a recent immigrant from Poland, who wants to take credit for Western Civ, and demands that black people see him as a superior… again, since he is an immigrant from Poland, and thus white.
Obviously, that MGTOW has never had arthritis.
If this is all it takes to amuse and occupy our adversaries, ’tis a bargain for us as well. Now maybe we can make some progress in areas we care about without their harassment and sabotage.
…which is totally different from exclusively dating fleshlights in order to get away from the uncomfortable feeling of considering another person’s needs.
That’s some master level projection right there.
@ Buttercup:
No, no, you see, he’s thinking about his boner, so obviously he’s not thinking about himself.
@Surplus:
Or whatever I’ve developed over recent months, which leads to me involuntarily right-clicking the mouse quite a lot. I mean, as afflictions go, this is about as minor as it gets, but it does mean my right hand is no longer totally “at my command”.
@Moggie
Muscle spasm?
@Naglfar, I just think it’s old and needs replacing.
I hope it’s the mouse that need replacing and not your body.
Alternatively, I hope you can find a badass cyborg hand. In the RPG Cyberpunk, the first thing my first character said after losing two legs to a rogue rocket was “so, can they have a coffee machine, a pillow, and a missile launcher ?”
Luckily, all three were possible.
@Demonhype:
Funny how many of them believe that. I was only talking to someone the other day about The Midnight Court/ Cúirt an Mheán Oíche, a late 18th Century Irish poem, the main plot of which concerns the women of Ireland putting the men on trial for, well, not satisfying them sexually, either running off to become priests or waiting till they’re old and decrepit and useless in bed before marrying, with some digressions into the merits of cuckoldry that would make the average manospherian white with rage. ? Although it was written by a man, I can’t help but suspect he did so after hearing some conversations between women he knew. ?
(The Irish Government in the mid-20th Century had something of a problem on its hands with the poem because it is undeniably a classic of verse in the Irish language; but its subject matter was unacceptable in the Catholic supremacy of the time. They dealt with the matter basically by banning any attempts to translate it into English, figuring that most people’s Irish wouldn’t be up to the task of figuring out the poem’s mix of “high” verse conventions and the colloquial Irish of 150 years past. They were probably right on that score too: I’ve only read it in translation but it’s very funny)
@Cat Mara
Under the old Brehon legal system, a woman whose husband didn’t perform his duties in the bedroom was legally entitled to take a lover, and her husband legally required to treat her children as his own. In fact, the only mention of homosexuality in that code held that if a man was too busy with his boyfriend(s) to satisfy his wife, she could seek divorce on that account.
@Cat Mara
Any time anyone spews this phrase, I find it obligatory to add: “with you.”
Usually in my head, since I rarely encounter that phrase in the wild….
@Cat Mara
Out of curiosity, do most people in Ireland speak Irish? When I visited County Cork, I saw a number of signs in Irish and a lot of Irish place names, but I didn’t hear anyone speaking it.
@Gaebolga
In an unpublished, half-finished manuscript I started writing for a satirical novel, there is a scene where a misogynistic leader (heavily inspired by MRAs) says that and someone responds with “most women enjoy sex, just not with you.”
Ot But I don’t think I will have time to say it on the actual day so I’ll say it now Merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone. I hope your days are filled with love and cheer and lots of tasty food. I have three dinners to go to so I might die, but if I do, just know it was one happily on my one day when I’m a glutton. Normally I have a pretty healthy athletic diet, but I’m about to blow it and I hope you all get to do the same! I hope your new years is amazing and you next 12 months is full of peace, prosperity and a lot of good things.
@Lainy And the same well-wishes to you and yours. <3
And to David and all Mammotheers: Merry ChristmasSolsticeHannukahKwanzaaFestivusPanchaGanapati
OGodIKnowImMissingSome 😀
@Lainy and Everyone else
Happy holidays and happy new year!
Merry Catmas, everyone!
The local Chabad house normally displays a public menorah on a patch of land at the end of my street, but it hasn’t appeared this year. I hope this is not due to rising anti-semitism.
Probable TMI:
I’ve made use of sleeves (not fleshlights, but similar materials) and gotten some of the most intense climaxes of my life.
I’ve had sex with women where I was unable to climax.
I’d take the latter any day, on account of the, y’know, having fun with another person.
Also, it disgusts but does not surprise me that many of these guys do not promptly clean their toys. Consider how they treat everything else.
@Travis that guy is going to be in for a surprise when he discovers there are still people in English speaking places that don’t think Poles are acceptable white people.
Happy Hogswatch everyone.
@Naglfar:
It’s complicated. Yes, all road signs and some other things are bilingual, and there are places, mostly on the West coast (the Gaeltachta) where Irish is still the language of day-to-day life, but elsewhere it’s a different story. Irish is a compulsory subject in school at both primary & second level so most people have spent at least 12-13 years learning it for an hour or so a day, assuming they didn’t attend an all-Irish school. So most people have some passing competence in the language but don’t speak it for various reasons. Part of it is simply the smothering effect of English– it’s very difficult to get that full-on immersion that’s necessary to build fluency– but much of the reluctance IMO is down to the fact that Irish is taught really, really badly in schools. People leave school with a bad attitude towards the language, resolving never to speak it again. Even today I have friends from school I’m still in touch with who will be reduced to fury if Irish is mentioned, mostly down to a particularly awful Irish teacher we had who seemed to regard it as his personal mission to beat (I’m being literal here, the guy was a violent scumbag) the language into his pupils ☹️
Okay, first things first: Dave, I clicked on all the these miggie “cooking” links you had early in the post, and as a dude who’s actually decent at culinary endeavors (gonna help my mom today do some of the cooking for the Christmas eve family dinner), all I can say is this 2-for-1 combo quote: “Abandon all hope all ye who enter here. The horror… The horror…”
As for the fleshlight thing… Ew. No wonder they think it’s better than an actual woman, because for the life of me I can’t imagine a woman (except maybe a self-hating, non-sexual masochist) wanting to have anything to do with these guys after even a single evening. Just the fact that they literally reduce women to being cocksleeves (but with more disadvantages… ugh I think I’ll have to shower after this) is just damn skeezy… And fuck, if you’re gonna use sex toys, clean the goddamn things after use! No wonder women won’t give you the time of day except as strictly necessary if that’s your level of (non-)hygiene!!!