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By David Futrelle
It’s nearly Christmas, and so I’ve decided to give myself an early present by giving in to my strange fascination with the Semen Retention subreddit, again.
Today, some thoughts on “female attraction” and how women aren’t really attracted to any man who isn’t diligently not-fapping, according to a dude who diligently doesn’t fap or, apparently, ever spill his seed in any context.
So there you have it.
This dude’s post got dozens of upvotes on the SR subreddit, because of course it did.
Umm…if ejaculation is not natural, then how would babby formed? These semen retainers don’t seem to know much about the birds and the bees.
Also IIRC if your intent is to get a woman pregnant it’s better to have fresh semen than semen that’s been “retained” for a while.
“Thats not REEEEEAAAALLL attraction.”
Yeah, mate. Walk on. Those grapes are sour as fuck.
The more I hear about Manosphere types waffling on about “seamen retention” and “preserving their precious bodily fluids”: the more I think of General Jack D. Ripper from Dr.Strange Love and that these dinguses watched the film but didn’t catch on that General Ripper was intended to be shown as a sexually stifled, emotionally maladjusted, puritanical machismo dude running off of troll logic, tinfoil chewing conspiracies and pseudoscience who wanted to engulf the world in Nuclear apocalypse and being stupidly dangerous and dangerously stupid for it and generally being the bad guy!
You can’t get any more obvious about the fact this guy and his dubious reasoning is bad road and yet the ilk parroting Rippers rational and “values” think “yeah he was onto something”.
Will I regret asking, what is “PMO“?
@Alan Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm. (I figured it was probably NOT Prime Minister’s Office. *snerk*)
This is, more or less, what the ancient Greeks thought. It worked hand-in-hand (or something-in-something anyway) with their tradition of older men taking younger men as lovers. The younger men were to receive the semen of the older and as a result the magical essence of the older man would help the younger become as knowledgeable, wise, healthy, skilled, and able as the older.
It was the gods who imbued the semen with its magic, but the semen of each individual man transmitted something of that individuals character (which is why the children sired by one man tended to have similarities with that man). The younger men simply took advantage of this divine magic to capture something of the nature, experience and character of the older.
So I wonder if this semen-retainer – or, indeed, all semen-retainers – with his misogyny and magic semen is on a path to reintroduce that tradition.
I mean, isn’t that the logical outcome of magic semen + hating women?
Ugh. Gaaahhhhh. Ugh.
@ fishy goat
Thanks for the explanation. In fairness to the original poster, that would be a plausibly logical progression.
@Hippodameia:
Oh no! A zombie! Run!
You know, I’ve seen a number of zombie movies, and I don’t recall ejaculation playing a part.
@Crip Dyke
Wouldn’t that be the opposite of semen retention, if the older man is giving up his semen to the younger man? Even if they weren’t homophobic, semen retainers would be too selfish to give their semen to other men. They’d want it all for themselves.
@Naglfar
They’re so brimming over with manliness they can afford to share some with young Chads-in-waiting
A semen-retentive man has as much of a place in nature’s grand scheme as no man at all. One who is proud of it is a notch lower.
This has some strange evolutionary implications that I’m sure this dude hasn’t considered. If semen retention attracted females, then through the course of evolution humans would have selected for significantly larger prostates (we’d probably all get prostate cancer by the time we’re 40, for those of us with prostates).
We probably would have also lost the ability to have wet dreams, and the urge to masturbate would be selected against. For how much these people think about not masturbating, they really don’t think very deeply about the implications of what they claim.
@Dalillama
But then they’d lose all their power and women wouldn’t be attracted to them. At least, not for another 3 days. It always shocks me how short semen retainers think it takes to gain the powers. Most people have probably gone much longer than 3 days without masturbating.
@Definitely Not Steve
They’re probably too busy thinking about semen and how great it is to think scientifically.
I know the questions already been correctly answered, but my first thought was definitely “pre-menstrual officer”
I don’t know what that means.
I’ve seen some serious argument that semen is also the “living water” referred to in John 4 and John 7.
In John 4: Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at a well, and offers her the living water, describing it as “everlasting” compared to ordinary water. When she asks him how she can get some of this living water, he tells her to fetch her husband.
In John 7: Jesus said “He that believeth on me, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water”.
I think it means the semen retainers have it backwards.
Well, David, I hope that isn’t your only Christmas present, at the very least maybe the cats could hoick up a furball or catch a moth for you! Best wishes to you and the furry overlords and for good health in the year to come.
@WWTH
A policewoman the day before her period begins?
@Amtep
If we’re looking at the Bible, the semen retainers also have it backwards another way. The Bible is very clear that men should have frequent sex with their wives. Most hardcore semen retainers seem to think that semen should not be given to women under any circumstances, which is not in line with the Bible. At least, not the way I’ve seen it interpreted.
The “living water” might be wine, or another form of low-concentration alcohol. Back in those days, pre-sanitation, pre-antibiotics, and pre-water-treatment-plants, water was typically sufficiently unsafe to drink, especially near or in population centers, that undistilled alcohol was widely used instead, since it has antimicrobial properties.
Alcohol was also used to preserve food: pickling in alcohol is one common low-tech way to do so, with pickling in brine being another. (Both are apparently beat by pickling in honey. The ancient Egyptians did that, and stuff they preserved 5000 years ago is reportedly still unspoiled and safe to eat.)
Yeah! That attraction that women feel towards sexy men is only fleeting and shallow, not like the everlasting attraction that women feel towards men who don’t ejaculate. Because, you know, it’s really simple to be able to just eternally never ejaculate, especially when women keep uncontrollably throwing themselves at you.
It’s because the (((lizard people))) corrupted the natural course of evolution millions of years ago, with their secret mind lasers and shit. It’s obvious if you think about it for a microsecond.
I got stuck on “only guys with insane amounts of money, status, or social status have girls”, and then its immediate dismissal, not because the OP reconsidered how stupid that sounded, but because the stupid wasn’t extreme enough. Women have zero attraction to men; women have sooper sekrit radar that detects when/how often someone has spooged; and the moment Brad Pitt ejaculates, she’s outta there.
(I also love how “status” and “social status” are two separate things.)
What is this “REAL” attraction he’s going on about that isn’t love (but it’s “spiritual”) and isn’t lust (but it’s “animal”)? So vague. So mystical. So self-serving.
Well, taking the article in question at face value, it suggests something that seems more counter-intuitive than any I have ever considered.
Apparently, by the logic above, the most attractive male to any “proper” female is one who is utterly, completely impotent.
Yeah, not sure I’m buying that one.
Someone with an addiction could probably benefit from going cold turkey for a bit. They could resensitize themselves. Beyond that, abstinence by itself would probably have diminishing returns in terms of benefits.
Perhaps in combination with some other practice. I remember a feminist blog talking about incels that was making the case that men could be happy without sex. I can’t find it now though. But she mentioned a certain yogi who was a virgin, who had undergone MRI scans while meditating which showed strong gamma waves.
Would it make you more attractive to women? I’d say if you’re already attractive, and on top of that you’re kind of aloof about sex, that would add to the attraction. That’s human psychology of wanting something even more if you’re not able to have it.
@Surplus
Out of curiosity, is it still possible to buy things pickled in honey? I’m now curious what things pickled in honey taste like.
That reminds me of this comic:
These are the dumbest people I’ve ever seen and i had to spend last night watching fox news because I’m at my aunts. Had the most vile woman trying to say an abortion was a mother killing a baby after its born.
Of course, the bible interpreters that have received all the attention to their views have always been men.
This raises the possibility that many of the “semen retainers” on the internet may be married, heterosexual women:
@IronCthulhu
Was it this one? Because men can be happy without sex. Interest in doing sexy things is on a scale, with “yes!!!” On one side and “eh, nah.” On the other.
I’d say this scale is usually subdivided further, with “interest in doing sexy things with others” and “interest in doing sexy things with yourself” as two categories.
Sometimes all someone wants is a little alone time, and they’re good. Sometimes not having a partner for sexy times makes people (men, women, and all flavours of people) unhappy.
Pretty much the point is this: men can deal with their own emotions re: wanting sex. No one owes it to them. If they don’t have a partner, they can still take care of themselves while they look for someone who likes them enough for partnered sexy times.
No, this is not quite true. ‘Aloof’ is the wrong way to look at this, since it usually means ’emotionally distant’. Just don’t be obsessed with sex, and getting every woman around you to have it with you. Be cool.
Is it appropriate for you to ask her? Is your relationship one that could include sex?
Is she saying no, either with verbal or non-verbal cues?
Has she told you ‘no’ before (verbally or non-verbally)?
Women (i feel confidant stating these things) like a man who a) they are interested in, and b) isn’t BADGERING them about his dick.
It isn’t aloofness that is hot, re: sex, it’s being able to communicate that you’re interested in a non-creepy manner, and then responding to the answer, be it a yes, no, or maybe later (this might also be a soft no) appropriately and with grace.
Buttercup:
lots of money = economic status
popular celebrity = social status
dark triad bad boy = asocial status
chiseled looks = marble status
Clearly, REAL attraction has nothing to do with whether women will have sex or relationships with you. It’s not something women feel consciously, and certainly not something they associate with you personally.
REAL attraction enables women to have fulfilling, procreating life-long relationships with some other man, as nature intended.
@Rhuu
She was making a stronger point that men could be happy because of not having sex. She brought up the example of a yogi who had transmuted his sex drive/sexual energy whatever you want to call it.
It’s true that the semen retention/nofap thing has a lot of woo surrounding it so it would be helpful to remember the guys name for the purposes of this post. I can’t seem to find anything by combining the terms “virgin” “incel” “yogi” “meditation” “gamma”. It was shortly after the Minassian van attack & the flurry of discussion about incels that came from that.
Out of curiosity, is it still possible to buy things pickled in honey? I’m now curious what things pickled in honey taste like
Damn you block quote
Btw I’m driving home from my aunt’s and just saw a Mennonite buggy and horse go by if that gives you any idea lol
Hah, ridiculous.
Everyone knows that women are only attracted by the ownership of multiple mid-sized crepuscular rodents.
Chinchilla Dave is correct. If a man has a chinchilla, I’d be 50% more likely to chat him up. A ball pit full of chinchillas would work even better. There are no diminishing returns on chinchillas.
Me, reading the blogpost header:
Me, after reading the thing:
This needs to be a bumper sticker, so that people will see it entirely divorced from its original context. I love this SO HARD.
That warrant a “it make just as much sense in context” tag.
What about guinea pigs? They’re mid-size rodents, but not crepuscular (they basically alternate between short periods of activity and sleep – which they do with their eyes open). Do women experience Real Attraction to men with guinea pigs? Asking for a friend.
I also would like to say that the only one of my my cis/het guy friends who owns a chinchilla is about 50% percent likely to be as much of a virgin as I am, and whether or not he is is a question whose answer definitely lies in this pre-chinchilla days, so take that as you will.
That chinchilla’s fur is really fucking soft, though, so there’s that.
They are dang cute
My ex-girlfriend had 2 chinchillas. The little chinchillas were so adorable and soft.
@Allandrel
I would hypothesize that guinea pigs are not as effective, but this needs field testing. Send pigs.
In fact, I think all guys out there should give this a shot. Unsolicited pics of guinea pigs would definitely go over better than photos of their pants weasel.
Guinea pigs are like pants weasel : it’s something intimate I would not show to strangers on the internet.
@Ohlmann
Oh, dear. I show strangers on the internet pictures of mine all the time.
My piggies, that is.
Unsolicited piggie pics are, to me at least, quite a few steps up from unsolicited dick pics.
I should hope I have not offended anyone with the unsolicited image of my Siberian Husky that serves as my avatar.
Eh, that’s a case of different persons having different standards, that’s all. You would get photos of thoses from my dead, cold hands.
(TBH, it’s the intent that count for me more than what is shown. What make dick picks incredibly offensive to me is that the intent behind it is rapey at the very best)
(also, I am particulary prude, and wish to not see a lot of stuff that society say is acceptable ; sadly the only acceptable solution in most cases is to not say to anyone that I am uncomfortable)