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By David Futrelle
Over on the right-wing culture war blog One Angry Gamer, the highly excitable Billy D is absolutely losing it over a lesbian kiss in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Because apparently it doesn’t correctly represent the demographic realities of Dagobah or Tatooine or wherever the movie is set (I really haven’t been paying much attention).
Take it away, Billy boy:
Despite making up a tiny minority of the population, and having practically zero mass-market buying power, corporations and large brands continue to foist upon the general public niche fetishes to indoctrinate and normalize aberrant behavior. In a rush to maintain their trend of cutting out the legs of the Star Wars brand from beneath itself, Disney and director J.J. Abrams followed through with including an LGBT kissing scene in Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker.
The kiss doesn’t even involve any of the main female characters in the film like Rey or Princess Leia or Lt Commander Bleep Bloop from the Grbsnort Sector; it’s a brief “celebratory kiss” between two lady rebels.
But Billy is so pig-biting mad over this fleeting kiss that he launches a weird attack on the authoritarian government of China for not being authoritarian enough — because it chose not to censor the scene in versions of the film shown in that country.
To make matters worse, Disney managed to sneak the scene into the Chinese version of Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker …
[T]he Ministry of Culture and its off-shoot, the Ministry of Culture [sic], apparently did not require Disney to make any edits to the scene, despite China having laws prohibiting the promotion of LGBTQIA+ content .
He then shares some of what appear to be his own sexual fantasies, which were actually sort of hot:
[M]aybe China is a-okay with lesbians lip-locking on the big screen but hate it when two half-naked men are racing their tongues up and down each other’s sweaty bodies like a Dodge Demon and a Camaro SS racing up and down a drag strip?
He concludes by comparing LGBTQ people to Nazis.
[I]f this becomes a trend, and China begins allowing LGBTQIA+ propaganda into films distributed across the mainland, then it’s yet another region brought to yield under the boot-heel of the Rainbow Reich.
Let’s get this straight (no pun intended): The government of China is currently rounding up hundreds of thousands of Uyghurs and other Muslims and putting them in concentration camps — sorry, “re-education camps” — but it’s the Culture Ministry’s act of non-censorship of a kiss in a PG-13-rated Disney film that makes Billy think of fascism.
I have to say, I did Nazi that one coming.
@no politics
None of the responses you received were angry about Star Wars. You, however, seem to be terrified of Star Wars, since you appear to think the kiss in it means that non-straight people are now oppressing straight people.
The replies that you received were in response to the homophobia that you displayed, which exists outside of Star Wars because you (stick with me here) are not Star Wars. You’re a person with really bad opinions that you made the decision to share here, for some reason.
I hope your gay friends upgrade to better friends than you.
The core (known) reason for the existence of sex is genetic diversity (not having everyone being white, for example). We suppose the lack of diversity lead to quick extinction due to the population being too easy to wipe out by diseases.
AFAIK, there’s no recorded instance of that extinction problem in animals (we have found lizards that clone themselves instead of having sex, but they have no major problem as far as I know), but it’s absolutely devastating on plants, who pull out cloning much more often than animals. (bananas and grapevines were hit *HARD* for example)
The vast majority of living being have an alternative to sex, because monocellular organism can just give or receive genetic material, which is why bacterias (and virus) are still around despite not having sex. That being said, some monocellular organism use sexual reproduction as well.
Now, multicellular stuff almost universally use sex, but quite a lot of them are isogame, which mean they have a single gender that can breed with itself. Fungi are an example, so you can safely say that mushroom are gay ; it’s technically correct, the best kind of correct.
Then there’s the hermaphrodits. Sequential one, where people spontaneously change sex, would probably cause some headaches to Rowling, but alway have a defined genre. Other are just both gender all the time. For some, the goal is to impregnate without being impregnated, other just happily boink each other. Thoses one are another example of natural homosexual species. Isn’t Nature grand to give us example of just about any kind of sexual relation ? :p
As a side note, most people consider fungis, slugs, and plants as “less evolved” than great ape, but that’s a complete nonsense. There’s no real way to define an evolution grade, and if one were done it would probably go to extremely resilient and versatile micro-organism. Humans are great and all, but they die pretty easily compared, and as relatively low-count species are hugely sensitive to population drop. In fact, there is a standing hypothesis that the total population of humans was less than 5000 at some point, and that we were super lucky to not inbreed and die off. Nothing like that could even happen to a single specie of fungis.
(also of note : inbreeding isn’t the reason for sex. Species that clone themselves don’t have inbreeding problems, they have other, unrelated problems)
Now, there’s a lot of mammals (most of them, in fact) who have two genders and cannot reproduce by homosexuality. Is heterosexual natural for them ? Of course, the answer is *still* no.
Most people are aware of the bing orgy of some great apes, where sexual relations also serve to bond with each other, which lead them to have sex with anybody they want to bond with, including individuals of the same sex. That’s, generally speaking, the most common reason for homosexuality (and observed in most social mammal, including lions and marmots)
Some species however have *other* reasons to get on with anybody. Apparently, hyena do to assert dominance, for example.
In short, natural sex in living being cover litteraly all kind of activity. It can be homosexual or heterosexual, it can be reproductive or social, it can be voluntary or forced. If you use “nature” to justify *any* discussions among sex, you’re doing it wrong ; nature is her great wisdom decided that sex is a tool for other objectives, and none of thoses objectives are less important than others.
I find it extremely funny that this is the response to some folks questioning why homosexuality is necessarily political, in the comment section of an article about a dude literally named “One Angry Gamer” ranting about how a split-second same-sex kiss in a movie is a harbinger of Rainbow Nazis taking over society.
Apparently his anger is 100% reasonable and justified, but our minor irritation is a complete overreaction.
@Catalpa
@Crip Dyke
OK then, sorry, as I said before kinda new here so I don’t know all the ins and outs. It was an honest mistake with no hidden implications. Goes to show even I have some ways to go, but at least I’m willing to make the effort, so I hope there’s no hard feelings.
@no politics
Hmm, name’s already a red flag/dog whistle, but let’s see what they have to-
-ah, OK then. Troll confirmed. Also hypocrite because if it’s “simply a space film” why do you care yourself?
Also, “hetero sex is why we’re all here so I’m implying it’s bad to show non-hetero stuff” is… kinda a non-argument?
@Paireon
It really is a non argument. By that logic movies shouldn’t show anything other than PIV heterosexual sex. There should be no Star Wars at all, only porn.
His behavior is also quite bot like. Not that I think it’s actually a bot, but more that he didn’t get the reaction he expected, and despite that continued his script.
That’s a common occurence on the far right, and one I truly don’t understand. I understand hatred even if I dislike it ; I understanding fearing anything different ; but I don’t really understand the complete denial of reality and the voluntary blindness.
The only way that make sense is if they are D&D solipsist mages and can use their delusion as if they were real items.
@Naglfar – And also, to flip it on its head, all the non-hetero sex didn’t stop any of us from being here either.
At this point that could actually be an improvement… Unless Disney compromises and the only Star Wars stuff produced is Star Wars porn?
OAG is the same guy who lost his mind because of a tiny ass flag. He’s pretty much the poster boy of shopping for reasons to be mad.
@Ohlmann
In a way, they can use their delusions like real items. Donald Trump got himself to the presidency by telling blatant lies until people began to believe him and started seeing things that aren’t there.
It’s older than Trump, too. Hitler (or possibly Goebbels, it’s been attributed to both in different sources) said “Make the lie big, keep it simple, keep saying it and eventually they will believe it.”
lol
I didn’t check back for a bit.
no politics thinks kissing is a reproductive behavior necessary to prevent extinction? Someone needs a sex ed class. Or they need to scream about heterosexual people engaging in fad behaviors like holding hands and kissing. I’m not really sure what their critique is.
Of course, maybe that’s because they’re so far ahead of me intellectually they’re able to invent new words like “estute”.
But they like both kinds of music: country and western!
White straight male gamers are also objectively a small part of the population. As MovieBob pointed out, these CHUDs were happy when the popular culture embraced comic books led primarily by white men. But now they are no longer the favored minority, so time to whine.
Every time someone disagreed with them. Disagreement is blasphemy, and therefore must be fueled by demonic anger and hatred at God, or something.
You know: deeply non-political analysis.
Come to think of it, if reproduction is the most important aspect to keep in mind when making a story, then shouldn’t no politics be incredibly concerned about the massively unbalanced ratio of male characters to female characters in Star Wars? The population needs approximately a 1-to-1 ratio of men to women for ideal reproductive functioning, but the ratio of men to women in the movies is 2-1 or greater (Luke, Han, and Leia. Anakin, Obi Wan, and Padme. Rey, Finn, and Poe. The ratio only gets worse when supporting characters and villains are taken into account). That’s not how nature works at all! How unrealistic and political!
If these gay friends actually exist, I think they would be annoyed at being the implication of their mere existence in media as identity politics.
@LindsayIrene:
Doesn’t even matter. You know that no politics is a troll because they’ve announced their vehement opposition to identity politics…
…and also vehemently announced their own sex identity and the sexual orientation identities of their friends.
What a maroon.
@Crip Dyke
Even just the first of those by itself should be enough evidence that they’re a troll. About the only people who complain that much about identity politics are conservatives of various stripes who are arguing in bad faith or skidmarxists/”anti-woke left” types also arguing in bad faith. I have yet to hear anyone begin a good faith argument with decrying identity politics that way.
@politics:
If it’s “simply a space film” why did you make such a fuss over a lesbian kiss in it?
Tell that to the person in the mirror.
Oh, is it biotroof time again already?
Booooooring…
Damn, another one who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice.
@Surplus – Dang, that negative peace/positive peace thing is inspired. Imma lift it for myself.
@Paireon:
Make sure you give appropriate credit to Dr. King.
@Ohlmann
I’m reminded of the experience I’ve had several times, at several jobs.
Co-worker: Did you see the game last night?
Me: I do not follow sports. At all.
Co-worker blinks, is silent for a second: Michaels sure pulled it out when he squigged the blagger, didn’t he?
Me: I do not follow sports. At all.
Co-worker: Thought we were finished when the ref called a moptibool, but Jackson sure whamped that klurk. You ever see something like that?
Me: I do not follow sports. At all.
Co-worker: Best game ever.
At times like that I am really, really tempted to launch into a detailed history of the articulation of G.I. Joe action figures. Fair’s fair.
@Allandrel
I know the exact same experience, because I don’t follow sports either. In high school, since I was in the band, we had to play at football games occasionally and other members would try to condescendingly explain how football worked to me despite my repeated explanations that I didn’t need them to, that I was fine. Consequently, I have a vague understanding, but not enough to actually follow the game, and frankly it just doesn’t interest me enough to learn more.
I think it has something to do with some idea of common ground. To someone obsessed with sports, they might assume everyone else is and think that it’s a good think they can start a conversation with. Then, when we say we don’t follow sports, they can’t process this and just keep going on a pre-scripted course.
@Paireon
S’all good. Do better in the future and you’re golden.
@Catalpa – Thanks, will try. (Yes, Yoda, there is something as try. Fuck you if you disagree, you green prune backwards-talking muppet)
OAG should be happy (but won’t be of course, it would go against his brand), Disney edited the kiss out for Singapore.
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