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By David Futrelle
Yesterday, the acid-loving, frequently-naked internet personality Aella — perhaps best known for a series of Reddit “Gone Wild” posts involving garden gnomes — had some thoughts on trans women she decided to share on Twitter. This was perhaps not the best idea, as these were the thoughts:
She doubled down on these very bad ideas in the responses to her tweet:
This is the sort of misogynistic and transmisogynistic garbage I’ve come to expect from incels and MRAs, who sometimes fantasize about “becoming a girl” (or at least identifying as one) because being a man is so darn hard. It’s just a teensy bit weird to hear it coming from a woman, albeit one who doesn’t see herself as a feminist.
H/T — Twitter’s @LLW902, whose tweet alerted me to Aella’s comments
Oh, yeah, nothing fixes the problem of feeling down about how mediocre your life and accomplishments are like voluntarily taking up an identity that is regularly the target of harassment and hatred and strangers volunteering their opinions of how terrible and bad you are.
The standards of “success” for straight white men are so damn low.
Who exactly is this person? I haven’t heard of her, but judging from this she doesn’t seem to really know what she ‘s talking about. I haven’t transitioned yet (for various financial and social reasons) but when I do it‘s not about how easy or hard it is to be a certain gender. It’s because I identify as a woman and want my body to match.
…and I check her Twitter to see that she is complaining that she needs to block “radical trans” activists b/c trans people are (understandably) pissed at her. She may not be a feminist, but her rhetoric sounds straight up like a TERF.
She also linked to a subreddit for detransitioners, which is obviously going to strike some nerves. I’m sure plenty of people detransition for perfectly valid reasons, but it seems like a significant number of high profile detransitioners (like James Shupe, Blaire White, etc) then turn around and say that because they weren’t actually trans that trans people don’t exist, or start badmouthing the trans community a dozen ways. Or become scaremongering conservative spokespeople against trans folks. Or straight up TERFs.
The stupid just never ends.
@Naglfar
Has Blair detransitioned? I thought she was just an asshole
@Bakunin
Last I heard, she was doing so. Her Wikipedia page says so, and she put out a video called “I’m Detransitioning.” I didn’t watch it, because I didn’t want to suffer through it. I’m just guessing based off of the title.
She’s definitely an asshole. That I know for sure.
EDIT: Forced myself to watch the first 2 minutes of the video. She’s getting off hormones to try to make sperm. Not sure if that counts as detransitioning, but she apparently thinks so.
Dear Aella,
I do not give a rotten damn why a person chooses to transition. It ain’t none of my business.
P. S. It ain’t none of your business either.
TERF is an alt-right gateway drug.
@Hippodameia
Did you see what happened earlier that David RTed? A TERF on Twitter asked for a replacement term because we figured out what “Gender Critical” meant, and someone suggested “Gender Realist.” They’re not a gateway drug to the alt right, they’re a part of it on par with the others.
Speaking of TERFs, Graham Linehan appears to have started a new platform for TERFs called Glindr. Not sure if it’s a joke or serious. A possible competitor to Spinster for the Nazi-adjacent transphobic asshat demographic. The next time someone says TERF is a “gendered slur” I will point out that one of the most noxious ones is a cis white man.
@Definitely not Steve:
Came here to say that being (cis, het, white, etc.) male really is life on the easy setting. If you can’t hack that, you sure as hell aren’t cut out for life as a trans woman.
(Or a cis woman either, for that matter.)
Long time lurker to the site. As a trans woman I had to respond to this since my experience transitioning has raised a few questions adjacent to the concern of “what ifs.” Two years on and I still imagine “what if I did not transition?” I suppose I would have been miserable like I was for most of my life. When I came out and started this journey I did think about some of the straight male privilege I abandoned, but that thought was irrelevant to my happiness which I felt is divorced from the myriad of safety and conveniences men are offered.
This in reverse? I cannot fathom thinking that it was difficult as a man because I was, well, not male. Aella’s argument seems to assume that trans women before coming out were upset over what maleness entailed rather than being forced to express a gender we are not due to happenstance.
I identify as female, so clearly I’m more interested in issues involving women than I am with the so-called struggles of men that MRAs, incels, et al harp on.
First post and it was on my phone, I hope it suffices!
@Bina,
I get what you’re saying, but I’d be a bit careful with how you choose your words here. There are lots of cis hetero white men who, for one reason or another, struggle. It could be financial struggle (late-stage capitalism is not kind to the poor), mental health struggle, physical health struggle, or emotional struggle (life happens to everyone). Life is hard for lots of people.
But those difficulties never happen because a person is white, straight, or male, and they are usually more manageable because of it.
Hope that doesn’t come across as tone-policing, it isn’t meant to be.
Can’t be a TERF if you’re not a feminist! There’s always a gotcha.
In other news: A friend came out as a woman today; so happy for her!
You see people that never even started to read about transition in that kind of post.
When I asked a therapist, he said me that, for a basis, it was highly adviced to change job and city, just to limit the emotional damage of seeing so many people turn against you. (because the gender dysphoria in me in only cyclical and probably not *that* strong, I backed out)
Also, the society is *highly* tolerant to white males that don’t behave like traditional white male. I never have seen one be chided because being not being toned enough. The only point that seem easier is that a women can dress like a men with less problem than a men can wear a dress or skirt (I mean, outside of kilt and equivalent). But that’s probably a false equivalency since nowaday men’s clothes are effectively androgenous clothes.
@numerobis
A better way to say it would be that someone can’t be a TERF if they don’t call themself a feminist. TERFs aren’t actually feminists for the most part. There are a few who actually do in some ways act like feminists (e.g. Meghan Murphy), but they are the exception, not the rule. Most TERFs don’t even do anything feminist, they just co opt the rhetoric for their own ends, hence the proposed alternative term “fauxminist.”
@NautaliaC
Same here. Even before I fully understood that I was trans I cared far more about women’s issues. That also could have something to do with the fact that in our society women face many more issues, so I’d be more inclined to focus on those issues.
Person raised fundie has messed up ideas about gender: film at 11.
After reading that Daily Dot profile, I think she’s on a journey away from an abusive, cult-like upbringing. Maybe she’ll make it all the way to being a decent person eventually.
I’m partial to calling them FARTs — Feminist Appropriating Regressive Transphobes.
(or “assholes”)
@Otrame
Word.
Unless it’s a mate transitioning. They’ll tell you why, in that case. Well, seems like more telling themselves, really. Not much need to do more than listen carefully and not dob your foot in it.
Women do face more issues. It amazes and saddens me how in so many areas womens’ work is devalued. I read about how patriarchy-dominated talk always said housework isn’t real work but it’s more than that. Women’s work in the service industry isn’t seen as “real” and also if your work is creative and you’re a woman they will infantilize it as “she’s just playing” I think. Like work I do that I enjoy and that inspires me isn’t real because it’s a woman doing it and enjoying it. But my whole life I have used creativity as a form of resistance.
That’s because female-coded things are seen as being lesser in our society.
And also because women fought long and hard for the right to wear trousers. We have it easier now because the generations before us fought. I’d support men fighting for the right to wear female-coded apparel, but the vast majority won’t because female coded things are considered lesser.
Interesting, my ladyfirend and I were talking about something kind of similar yesterday.
I identify as genderqueer and, in thinking about it before, I’ve realized that part of the reason may be because I’ve absorbed too many stereotypes about what it is, or means, or “how to be” a “man” and, as I don’t really fit almost any of those, the label just doesn’t feel right to me.
Never really have any dysphoria to speak of, I’m ok with sex, it’s strictly identity in relation to being labeled “man” simply because of how I present
*Note- Nothing said here is meant to apply to anyone but me, I only speak for/about myself
Not being a feminist is exactly like a TERF, yes.
@Citerior Motive
True. I could have phrased better by saying that she may not self-identify as a feminist but she sounds like a TERF. Practically the only thing distinguishing TERFs from other assorted alt-rightists is that they call themselves feminists even though they actually aren’t.
Reading these inspired me to write today (in my journal I mean) about the vitality of women’s ability to choose how we express ourselves.
@Stacey
That’s great to read, but as someone who is struggling with both gender issues (as someone born with typical XY body parts) and who is rather vulnerable to TERFs’ ideology, IDK if I can say the same thing.