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Don’t go on a meditation retreat with this guy

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By David Futrelle

Ok, I confess that I wandered into the Semen Retention subreddit again. It’s like an addiction for me.

Anyway, I found this guy, who seems to have gotten just a little too excited about his new meditation routine. Just make sure never to sit next to him in meditation class. Or on the bus. Or anywhere, really.

So while I picked up semen retention I also picked up spinal breathing and other types of meditation(highly recommend). These seriously helped me with becoming even more energetic, playful and happy. But recently I've reached a point where the bodily state that would result from me focussing on any of my chakras, or sometimes even while spinal breathing would become not just a charged wakefulness accompanied by a boner and the drive to what's good and necessary, but a borderline pre-orgasmic state of sensation. I usually would loose focus due to the severity of the experience, or stop right there. But yesterday in the evening I made the quite foolish mistake of continuing and staying focussed, which lead to me cumming without touching my genitals whatsoever. Which is quite sad because I felt super energetic the days prior. So guys, learn the lesson don't cum while meditating.

That’s not satori; it’s satorgasm.

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Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

I’ve tried meditating before, but was never much good at it. Similarly, I’ve never gotten an erection from it. Is that even possible, or is this 100% certified BS?

jsrtheta
jsrtheta
11 months ago

Grammar Nazi here. I continue to be amazed at how many people spell “lose” as “loose”, or believe that the past tense of the verb “lead” is “lead”. It’s not. It’s “led”.

Dalillama
Dalillama
11 months ago

@Naglfar
It’s absolutely possible for allistic people to learn to meditate, incomprehensible as it may seem to you or I. And it’s absolutely possible to induce arousal by one’s mental state, as most allosexual people can attest from their own fantasies. Further, meditation can indeed be used to do some quite interesting tricks with blood flow*, and human erections are powered purely by blood flow, so that’s also an affirmative.

*the feedback loop between breathing and heartrate works for everyone, if only you can control your breathing.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 months ago

@jsrtheta

I don’t know about anybody else, but in a world full of actual nazis, it makes me pretty uncomfortable when someone identifies as a “Grammar Nazi.”

There are lots of reasons why someone might struggle with spelling, but I can’t think of any particularly good reasons to go on the semen retention reddit page and describe in detail that time you had an orgasm while meditating, so I’m going to go ahead and judge him more for the latter.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

@Dalillama
So it’s plausible? I still think the OP’s tale is a bit fishy, though. Maybe that it’s from a semen retainer (aka cult member).

@Viscaria

I don’t know about anybody else, but in a world full of actual nazis, it makes me pretty uncomfortable when someone identifies as a “Grammar Nazi.”

Same. It almost seems to be making light of the Holocaust and of real Nazis.

Sophy Cooper
Sophy Cooper
11 months ago

Ommisexual?

Definitely not Steve
Definitely not Steve
11 months ago

Naglfar,

I’ve tried meditating before, but was never much good at it.

I don’t think any of us are as good at it as this guy is!

Or at least, arguably, none of us enjoy it quite as much.

Monday Middlemarch
Monday Middlemarch
11 months ago

The fact that anyone would complain about an orgasm via meditation or any other method saddens me. Shut up and enjoy the gift of your own body, dumb ass!

Why do they think not orgasming grants magic powers? Orgasms are great…everyone should have them on a regular basis with or without a partner. Their ideology assigns shame to a natural release of pleasure.

They have created a cult dedicated to the diminishment of human nature.

TiredYoshi
TiredYoshi
11 months ago

@Naglfar

Tantric Buddhists have claimed for centuries that this was possible. And I swear I actually saw a video of a guy actually having a hands free orgasm while meditating. Naturally, I can’t find it now!! 🙁 I’m not that good at meditation, longest session being 20 minutes. Theoretically, yes it’s possible. BUT; it’s reddit. I’ll give him 50% of telling the truth and 50% chance of BS.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
11 months ago

The thing that make it look fishy to me is that I have non-sexual orgasm regulary enough, and they are alway dry. I suspect that guy invented that and think you alway have a physical response to an orgasm.

Samantha Kaswell
Samantha Kaswell
11 months ago

I have news for this guy, and others like him. The “seeds of creation,” as he so delicately put it, do not reside only in men’s ballsacks . A woman’s eggs actually carry more genetic material then sperm does. For one thing, the mitochondria is far too large to fit in a sperm and contains the DNA that allows us to utilize energy and metabolize properly.

Without the mitochondrial DNA, life – as we know it – cannot exist. And only the mother can pass it on to her children. If I were asked, I would have to say that, as far as nature and life are concerned, female mammals are far more valuable than their male counterparts.

I realize that it is not politically correct to say that, but 1) the truth is the truth, whether you embrace science or not and 2) I believe that women are, in some ways, stronger, smarter, and wiser than most men – with some notable exceptions – and we tend to take the long view, putting immediate profit and political power lower on the ladder of life and putting our children and the living world higher on that ladder. Again, there are notable exceptions, such as that de Voss nightmare who masquerades as a woman.

I think it may be time for the women and children of earth to stand up and take back the power that was taken from us and that we gave away to men. Oh, wait…that’s already happening all over the world! Greta Thunberg is one who comes to mind.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
11 months ago

@Samantha Kaswell : while I appreciate the sentiment, life *can* exist without mitochondrial DNA, since life appeared before mitochondres, and saying that a part of a population is more valuable than another is widely anti-scientific and meaningless.

The second part about ascribing about all possible qualities to a gender is widely sexist too and miss a very important point : how to not become monster once in power. Which, as you note, seem to happen regardless of gender (and religion and ideology and age and whatnot)

The solution to white nationalism is not “becoming another [meaningless feature] nationalist”. That way only lie another slaughter.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

Why do they think not orgasming grants magic powers?

Because they buy into pseudoscientific ideas debunked centuries ago.

@Samantha Kaswell
The problem with such gender essentialist statements about women are that they are what TERFs like to use to say trans* women aren’t women. I’m a woman, yet I have no eggs and therefore cannot produce offspring, does that mean I’m not a woman to you?
I’m not sure if you meant it that way, but this is reminiscent of a kind of argument that TERFs use to disqualify trans* women. Similarly, the bit about Betsy DeVos “masquerading” as a woman reads as transphobic as well.

Allandrel
Allandrel
11 months ago

@Samantha Kaswell

Again, there are notable exceptions, such as that de Voss nightmare who masquerades as a woman.

We have TERFsign!

Citerior Motive
Citerior Motive
11 months ago

Why do they think not orgasming grants magic powers?

Because they buy into pseudoscientific ideas debunked centuries ago.

More like despunked, amirite?

(I am not right.)

moregeekthan
moregeekthan
11 months ago

Be careful, David. My mom always told me if I went to the semen retention subreddit too often, I could go blind.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
11 months ago

@Naglfar

It is possible to get all kinds of body responses during meditation. Autistic sensory stuff, gender dysphoria, OCD, and (C)PTSD probably don’t help depending. It helps a lot of people, but it’s a tool, not a panacea.

CN: personal/mental health related stuff below

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Pre transition I was unable to do breath counting meditations without getting nausous. These days I use said breath meditation pretty often for calming myself down under stress, but avoid anything more complicated outside of group/class settings. I’ve also had to develop different ways to keep my brain in check, e.g. counting upwards by powers of 2 or 3 to cut off PTSD trigger responses.

I’ve also been present for some (other people’s) really horrifying intersections of advanced meditation and unmanaged mental illness. White middle-class culture has glommed onto this stuff as, like, absolutely harmless and helpful for everything, but that’s really not the case any more than it is for e.g. coffee or aerobics.

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
11 months ago

I have trouble meditating, too. Listening to certain sounds can help me, like the reverberations of a gong. I listen to a recording of that.

Very, very light doses of salvia divinorum have been known to help a friend of mine. It’s difficult to ingest such light doses, however.

Hambeast
Hambeast
11 months ago

Naglfar – Your good response to Samantha reminded me (apropos of nothing much, but there I am) of when I was still identifying as pagan and Husbeast (still pagan) and I were trying to find a pagan community.

We found so many groups that excluded trans women from their women-only spaces, that we finally gave up. The one or two that didn’t, were too far away. That was when I started getting disillusioned with the pagan community and eventually just went atheist.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

@Cyborgette

Autistic sensory stuff, gender dysphoria, OCD, and (C)PTSD probably don’t help depending.

That could have something to do with it, as I have at least 2 of those.

@Hambeast

We found so many groups that excluded trans women from their women-only spaces, that we finally gave up. The one or two that didn’t, were too far away. That was when I started getting disillusioned with the pagan community and eventually just went atheist.

I’m surprised there was so much transphobia in paganism. My knowledge of paganism is limited, but most of the ones I’ve met are liberal and sexually open, so I would expect them to be accepting of trans people.

And I’m glad you think my response was good. I’m trying to give some benefit of the doubt, but at the same time I am aware Samantha has made very essentialist comments about women in other threads. It could be that she didn’t mean to be cisnormative, but that kind of gender essentialism is a warning sign of TERFism.

Cindy
Cindy
11 months ago

@Samantha Kaswell

If intelligence is determined by what gametes they produce, as you seem to argue, I wonder where you think trans people fit in. Are trans women of lower intelligence than cis women? Are trans men of higher intelligence than cis men? 🤔

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

@Cindy, Samantha Kaswell

If intelligence is determined by what gametes they produce, as you seem to argue, I wonder where you think trans people fit in. Are trans women of lower intelligence than cis women? Are trans men of higher intelligence than cis men?

And would said trans man’s intelligence drop if he got an oophorectomy? And what about intersex people? I know that many (most?) intersex people are sterile, but I also know that some can produce gametes. There was one notable case of a woman with a 46,XY karyotype who had typical female development and was fertile, giving birth to a daughter with the exact same situation.

Of course, there are also cis women who are born without ovaries or get them removed. TERFs don’t like to acknowledge this, but such women do exist. Yet another way in which TERFs hurt cis women.

In my view, gender essentialism is inherently sexist, as it posits immutable and pseudoscientific gender differences and stratification. When TERFs say that trans women can’t be women because they lack ovaries/a uterus/whatever, it sounds an awful lot like when misogynists say that (cis) women are inferior because they don’t have testicles.

Amy E
Amy E
11 months ago

Agree with the comments here regarding gender essentialism. We need to consign it to the dustbin. Unfortunately there’s still widespread ignorance, so I fear it will take time.

In my view, gender essentialism is inherently sexist, as it posits immutable and pseudoscientific gender differences and stratification. When TERFs say that trans women can’t be women because they lack ovaries/a uterus/whatever, it sounds an awful lot like when misogynists say that (cis) women are inferior because they don’t have testicles.

Very much this.

Definitely not Steve
Definitely not Steve
11 months ago

[Trying to post this for the third time, my posts keep getting eaten by the kraken]

@Samantha Kaswell:

For one thing, the mitochondria is far too large to fit in a sperm and contains the DNA that allows us to utilize energy and metabolize properly.

Fun fact, that’s a misconception. Human sperm have many mitochondria, contained in a sheath directly behind the head to power the flagella. There are as many as 50-100 copies of mtDNA in each sperm. Granted, that’s not nearly as many as the ~100,000 to a high of 10,000,000 (yep, that’s ten million) copies in an oocyte, but this actually leads me to…

Fun fact the second, nobody knows why humans only inherit maternal mtDNA. Sure, you’d expect that the paternal mitochondria might just get out-competed, drowned out in an ocean of other mitochondria. But the numbers still don’t add up. You don’t have inheritance rates of 1/1000th paternal mtDNA. It’s much lower than that (although it isn’t actually quite zero!).

There are a variety of mechanisms that have been proposed and investigated – such as chemical modification of the paternal mtDNA so it doesn’t replicate, or the fertilized oocyte actively targeting incoming mitochondria for breaking down and recycling.

The latter mechanism has been observed in flies, using a cellular process called autophagy: [link redacted]

But of course biology is messy and so the answer can’t be the same for mice and humans: [link redacted]

Fun fact the third: no one has any clue why it even matters that paternal mtDNA doesn’t get inherited. But it’s a nearly universal thing (there are known cases where paternal inheritance is “leaky,” including sheep and chickens), so there is almost certainly some evolutionary reason for it.

Definitely not Steve
Definitely not Steve
11 months ago

Well this time my post seems to have stuck. I’m not sure if it’s because I removed the links. Does someone know if that could be why it didn’t post the first two times last night? I’m happy to re-post the references if someone is curious, but I’m nervous to include references in future posts if they will get my posts eaten.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

@Definitely Not Steve
The mammoth works in strange ways…sometimes comments with links don’t go through. I don’t know why. It seems to be random, so I’m not sure of a solution. Anyone got better ideas?

I was aware that paternal mtDNA is inherited at rates much lower than mtDNA, but I was unaware about the sheep and chickens. TIL something. Thank you.

The cool thing about mtDNA is since it is primarily from the mother, we can use it to trace back all humans to the most recent woman from whom all modern humans are descended, referred to as “Mitochondrial Eve”.

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
11 months ago

I really agree with everyone about the problems with gender essentialist thinking.

My slave is a cishet man (and that a cishet man, and such a gorgeous one at that, can experience and create together with me what we do is really amazing to me, by the way)

My mentor and I are both cishet women and one of her friends who helps me is a trans woman whom I love dearly too and I can’t see how anyone could say we aren’t three beautiful and amazing women.

I am so grateful again for all the great people here.

Michael Suttkus, II
Michael Suttkus, II
11 months ago

Samantha Kaswell

I have news for this guy, and others like him. The “seeds of creation,” as he so delicately put it, do not reside only in men’s ballsacks . A woman’s eggs actually carry more genetic material then sperm does. For one thing, the mitochondria is far too large to fit in a sperm and contains the DNA that allows us to utilize energy and metabolize properly.

As has already been pointed out, this is incorrect. It doesn’t even make any sense. If sperm do one thing well, it’s swim. Swimming requires utilizing energy and metabolism. Without mitochondria, the sperm would just sit there waiting for eggs to come to them!

Check out the wikipedia article on sperm for a diagram, complete with all the mitochondria in it!

Without the mitochondrial DNA, life – as we know it – cannot exist.

Also, no true. Lots of types of life do not have mitochrondria, in particular bacteria universally lack them.

I realize that it is not politically correct to say that,

Useful rule, anything following “it’s not politically correct to say this” is going to be rude and probably outright laughably false. For example…

but 1) the truth is the truth, whether you embrace science or not and

True, and every single thing you’ve said so far has been scientifically false, whether you embrace that or not is up to you.

Nothing more to address that hasn’t been said better than I could.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

@Michael Suttkus, II
The “whether you embrace science or not” part is another common one among assorted fascists. White supremacists use it as a jumping off point for rants about race and IQ, TERFs use it to go on about essentialism. Because, by their logic it can’t be wrong if “science” says so. Of course, as shown by Ms. Kaswell above, we have rather different definitions of “science” and “facts.”

Pink Haired Old Lady
Pink Haired Old Lady
11 months ago

@Hambeast,

My trans wife and I attend an annual pagan festival in Ontario, and it’s totally trans inclusive. Along with the King Stag and Huntress competitions they have one for people who don’t identify as binary or totally one gender. We are both atheists, and participate in some rituals as a psychological tool. Rituals of all kinds are as old as humanity.

Also recently joined the choir at a Unitarian Universalist church. We are presenting an original Christmas musical tomorrow at Don Heights UU church in Toronto. If any of you happen to live in the GTA, feel welcome!

Cats In Shiny Hats
Cats In Shiny Hats
11 months ago

@Monday Middlemarch

Not everyone can have or has desires for orgasm. I can’t do it and have zero drive for it. I’m not going to speak for all asexuals, but there you go. For me there is no drive, no desire, no ability. If people don’t want them they shouldn’t have them. It’s all the junk wrapped around these particular guys that is the problem.

@all the people regarding the problematic term Grammar Nazi

I tell people I am a grammar pedant. It has the benefit of being precise.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
11 months ago

I tell people I am a grammar pedant. It has the benefit of being precise.

I’d consider myself a grammar, spelling and typing pedant.

(not to mention semantic pedant)

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
11 months ago

@ Samantha Kaswell

Again, there are notable exceptions, such as that de Voss nightmare who masquerades as a woman.

Not cool, friend.

I hope the pushback you’ve gotten here helps you to think through what you’ve said, the values those statements prop up, and what people objected to.

Trans women are women, even without eggs. Trans men are men, even with eggs. (Note: if you do travel in the TERF sphere, i am using those terms in the proper way, not the super confusing TERF backwards way.)

I learned some things from the corrections to what you said, so i want to half thank you for putting those mistakes out there. It’s always interesting what a community as diverse as this knows!

The reason i only ‘half’ thank you, though, is because your statements are setting off TERF or proto TERF alarm bells for myself, as well. I want people to learn, as hopefully you will through the reaction to your post, but not at the expense of some of the more vulnerable members of the site (commentariat + lurkers).

If you truly did not realise what reactions you’d receive, and aren’t a ‘terf’, ‘gender critical’, or (apparently?????) a ‘gender realist’, i hope being told that your statements ring those alarm bells helps you to understand why, and do some reading/thinking on it. It feels like you are working from an older understanding of gender, and i’m just going to have to go with the more modern understanding.

You have been previously corrected on the ‘sperm don’t have mitochindrial DNA’ thing back in 2018 so… This seems like it might be a favourite argument of yours, to trot out to show how essential an egg is. I’m sorry, but i have to listen to science here. *shrug*

Your emphasis on ‘woman and their children’ is a bit reductionary. Women don’t need to have children. Women might not even want kids, or want them but not he able to afford them, or can afford them but are terrified of the world becoming a hurricane on fire thanks to climate change.

Men can be good parents as well, and i think it’s pretty important that we keep that expectation front and centre. The culture around men’s parental responsabilities has started to shift! We’ve got a ways to go, yes, but it’s started.

Hambeast
Hambeast
11 months ago

Naglfar & Pink Haired Old Lady – None of the groups we met with were at all trans exclusive in general, but they all seemed to have some sort of women-only regular meeting for some reason, from which trans women were mostly excluded. Most had no equivalent for men, which also irked me.

We would press the representatives for their reasoning and got a bunch of gender-essentialist talking points. It was very frustrating.

But I’m only talking about a half-dozen groups, so not at all a representative sample! Also, this all took place at least ten years ago.

We live in an area that sprang up in the early 2000s and there wasn’t any sort of pagan group (or much of anything else non-Christian, for that matter) so we had to go kind of far and wide, mainly Orange and San Diego Counties.

Husbeast has found a group that is truly all-inclusive but he has to drive almost an hour to get there. I go with him for general fellowship stuff, but not rituals. No one is banned from rituals, mind you, I just don’t wish to participate. The group is very accepting and supportive of spouses/significant others who aren’t believers and we’ve made a fair few good friends there.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

@Rhuu

super confusing TERF backwards way.

Do you mean the deliberate misgendering that TERFs do with terms like “TIM” for trans women (I’ve never heard them say “TIF” for trans men but it wouldn’t surprise me)?
The way TERFs use those terms confuses non TERFs as well. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve corrected well-meaning people who think a trans man is called a trans woman and vice versa as a result of TERFs misleading them.

I learned some things from the corrections to what you said, so i want to half thank you for putting those mistakes out there. It’s always interesting what a community as diverse as this knows!

Me too! I learned about the sheep and chickens and their mtDNA from Definitely Not Steve’s post.

You have been previously corrected on the ‘sperm don’t have mitochindrial DNA’ thing back in 2018 so…

She’s also previously endorsed Alyssa Milano’s sex strike, which was panned for being unfeminist. And she’s talked about women being destroyed or replaced, which is a popular TERF talking point.

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
11 months ago

@Nagldar – that, but also just flipping ‘transgender man’ to mean ‘transgender woman’. Here’s an example, WARNING FOR TRANSPHOBIA AND EXCUSING/JUSTIFYING IT

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“I’ve never said trans people should not have rights,” the Vancouver-based alleged provocateur told a sold-out audience. “I’ve never said that trans women are not real women. I’ve said that trans males are male.”

[Meghan Murphy]’s been accused of transphobia and bigotry, called a fascist, vilified as a heretic, threatened with death.

Later on in the article, the horrific Rosie DiManno continues with:

Transgender men in cis-gender women’s shelters, rehab facilities, women’s transitional housing, rape crisis centres, denies females the feeling of safety they require. Trans rights are overwhelming women’s rights, putting them in intolerable situations.

And i was confused what she was talking about, until i realised that she’d tipped her TERF hand here, and *also* flipped the genders. Because what she is claiming is a woman and will always be a woman (a trans man) should have no problem in women’s shelters, right? She would say they are all womaning together. (Note: they are not, just to be clear. Trans dudes are dudes.)

This was all in response to the backlash the toronto library got, after hosting a huge TERF. The opinion piece is here, but it’s full of bullshit. Content warnings DEFINITELY apply.

I actually emailed the star, don’t think i ever heard back though.

Usually trans men are forgotten about, honestly. TERFs are so obsessed with traditional gender roles that they don’t care about a woman who wants to be the ‘better’ gender (a trans man), just angry about a man who wants to give up all of his status and privilege to become the ‘worse’ gender. (Trans woman)

Which is all BULLSHIT, of course. And not very feminist at all.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

@Rhuu
I read that article when someone here (Katamount?) was talking about Meghan Murphy’s hate thing at the Toronto Public Library. The article is awful, and is a clear example of TERFs deliberately obfuscating terminology. Of course, I don’t think I need to say who else likes to deliberately obfuscate words for their agenda (hint: rhymes with light dupremacists).

Usually trans men are forgotten about, honestly. TERFs are so obsessed with traditional gender roles that they don’t care about a woman who wants to be the ‘better’ gender (a trans man), just angry about a man who wants to give up all of his status and privilege to become the ‘worse’ gender. (Trans woman)

And when TERFs do notice trans men, it’s usually to claim that they’re misled lesbians, or to claim that they’re traitors to womankind, or something. Or occasionally to offer a sort of condescension about it all.

Alexis Filth
11 months ago

@Samantha_Kaswell
TERF spotted.

as for the claim of a tantric orgasm through meditation. I’m sure it happens. Dunno if the Nofap muppets have the necessary discipline or if this is just some chud bragging with bullshit to seem better than his fellows.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 months ago

@Alexis Filth

Dunno if the Nofap muppets have the necessary discipline or if this is just some chud bragging with bullshit to seem better than his fellows.

I’m pretty certain it’s the latter. That’s what they always do, what with all their claims of superpowers from jizz.

And it looks like Ms. Kaswell is neglecting to respond. Probably because she realizes she’d get banned if she says much more in the same direction. She’s very carefully skirting the line of being TERFy but not enough to get banned.

Alexis Filth
11 months ago

@naglfar
what’s funny to me has always been the nofap claim of superpowers to attract women after not jerking off for a couple weeks.
I mean if that was the case there’d be a lot of depressed people with dicks just drowning in feminine attention.
I know when I was severely depressed I didn’t feel like doing ANYTHING masturbation included.

GR
GR
11 months ago

Delurking re: transphobia in pagan circles – Part of the problem is that there’s a significant emphasis on the menstrual and reproductive cycles in a lot of goddess-oriented pagan ritual material. Transwomen are often excluded on the grounds that they don’t have the necessary organs to have the same experiences. The rituals are for people who menstruate (or used to) or have been pregnant (or could become pregnant). Not, mind you, that they check at the door. If you can pass for a cis woman while nude (a lot of these rituals are nude), they’ll let you in.

@Hambeast, I am sorry you ran into so much bigotry. There’s a really nasty TERF vein through goddess-oriented paganism, the same way there’s a nasty white supremacist vein through Norse-flavored paganism. It sucks. It’s all finally being discussed in the open, which I take as a hopeful sign.

There are also a nonzero number of super queer pagan types around, and we’re gaining visibility as well. Outside the Charmed Circle is a great blog (and there’s a book coming in January!) on the subject.

Allandrel
Allandrel
11 months ago

@Alexis Filth

Heck, a number of the “field reports” talk about things like “being surrounded by half a dozen young women, sitting on the floor and gazing up at them adoringly” after two days. That doesn’t even take a medical condition – just being busy, tired, or not feeling like it for a few days.