By David Futrelle
Now the incels are mad at the Buddha.
Seems that several weeks ago one prolific Incels.co commenter called speedtypingincel discovered a post on a Buddhist message board claiming, based on an extremely close reading of ancient Buddhist texts, that the historical Buddha was an astonishing 6 foot 7 inches tall, thus rendering him irresistible to women and allowing him to “heightmog” virtually all other men of his time and ours.
“That’s the reason he had so many followers,” speedtypingincel wrote. “BONES are the most important thing in the world.”
The incels have been raging about this claim ever since.
“A rich chad who had everything in life telling poor incels not to give a fuck,” complained someone called Sparrow’s Song.
Sounds like a conspiracy to keep people docile and prevent violent uprisings. … Now I understand why the TaIiban destroyed that Buddha statue in Afghanistan, it was a reminder of a rich chad hypocrite who told people just to cope while both physical reality itself and society fucked them over and it was a massive stone heightmog as well.
Not sure this is an entirely accurate description of Buddha’s teachings, bro.
Glad they did it, the last thing they needed was cucked symbol of coping and accepting getting bullied while they are in the middle of an uprising against the biggest bullies in the world. … Sand prophets, messianic manlets, and ancient Greek high IQ posters will always be better than bootlicking buddhists.
A commenter called Neggr was a bit more concise, complaining that “Buddha was a slim gigachad.” Yet another griped that the Buddha was “a mogging machine” — that is, a man who out-alphas all the other men in his vicinity — “who had everything.”
More than a few expressed their astonishment that a a prince would give up a life of pleasure and ease to take up a quest for enlightenment. As someone called Hell put it
Buddha had a wife and even children and god knows how many concubines he fucked until he got bored and decided to have his extended vacation beach party.
Then he gets back and tries to convince everyone to be celibate lmao.
jfl at ricecels that fell for this crap
This has been today’s Comparative Religion lesson, incel-style.
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@naglfar
Pretty harmless, really. AoE= area of effect, DPS=damage per second, and BoE appears to be a game called Blades of Exile, which probably is basically like Skyrim or summat. AoE has been part of gamer jargon since before there was any such thing as video games, tbh, but DPS seems to have cropped up since the turn ot the century.
Hah, the slang…. This is the very definition of “I know something YOU DON’T!!”
The root of igno-right-wing fantasy lies somewhere in the vicinity….
That’s it. Where I went to college there was a professor in Communications who was a feminist scholar and taught about how language and powe connect.
We can turn that on its head though and subvert them by taking their language and making it ours though I learned.
Hey, @Moggie! ::waves:: Just got back from 5 1/2 hours in the rain doing get-out-the-vote door-knocking in my nearest marginal – JC4PM that’s what I say 🙂
I suspect it’s not impossible that I might have done some door-knocking in your constituency in the last few days too, just possibly perhaps maybe (been going to marginals because I’m in a safe Labour seat – just down the road, if you’re in the one I’m guessing at)
@Naglfar, yes that is exactly what they’re doing.
@dalillama @naglfar
BoE can also mean Bind on Equip, which means the item is tradable to other players as long as you don’t equip it.
(moderately embarassed I know this)
@opposablethumbs
Woooo! Just voted labour in a Tory seat, fingers crossed for the #YouthQuake.
I suspect I am measurable only in millichads. SAD!
I think their slang is really funny, but only because of how, like, juvenile and goofy everything is. I suppose it’s a strength for sub-par propaganda to be so straight-up childish that no one reasonable takes it seriously, but everything they come up with to define their worldview sounds like a bad Pokemon fangame from, like, 2007. My cute little Siddhartha evolved into a MegaChad at level 29, since I gave him the bird-poop helmet of enlightenment to hold.
Also, imagine being so petty that you read the founding story of Buddhism and your only takeaway is that a “GigaChad with all-caps BONES gets whatever he wants” … like, yeah, dudes. That’s what happens at the start of the story. Then he realizes he’s still unhappy and unfulfilled and decides to re-prioritize. Everyone else goes, “oh, man, if the highest and most privileged of us is still unhappy to the point where he declares those privileges meaningless, maybe we should change our priorities too.” It’s like reading Aesop’s Fables and calling the fox an idiot for not knowing the grapes were sour in the first place.
I dunno, man. It’s pretty sad. They close themselves off to meaning and emotional depth to the point where they only feel absolutely terrorized by their own sex drive.
So, for a positive turn, I dunno if any of y’all are into tabletops or Lord of the Rings-style fantasy worlds at all, but the BONES obsession reminded me of a silly one-off character from Dimension20.
edited for just the link, because I absoLUTELY don’t know how to embed properly: youtube.com/watch?v=03Mi3Rwcn94
@Lainy, Naglfar:
You just made me devote several brain cells to recalling whether “Yamaka” is a Japanese motorcycle/electric organ company. (It is not, I was thinking of Yamaha.)
@Crip Dyke
Since you’re a woman, wouldn’t you measure yourself in Stacys (attach SI prefix of your choice)?
@opposablethumbs
As I figured. Here in America the president just signed an executive order that he claims is to prevent antisemitism on campuses but actually declares Jews to be foreigners. An antisemitism classic!
I talk a lot about falls and crackers a lot these days (practicing with my bullwhip) but if someone overhears parts of a conversation maybe it sounds we’re talking about snacks falling off the shelf. There’s a pun in there somewhere but I’m not sure where.
@Stacey
I love it! My mind jumps to calling your sub your clumsy grocery delivery man, in polite company, with pointed winks.
Stacey – I just recently attended a seminar on online retail, and learned there’s some formal business theory called “Service dominant logic”.
Oh the things we kinksters end up sniggering at…
@Kara.
Oh, you are brilliant…I love that!
My group, though, has a lot of high-protocol events though and the guys I am basically being fixed up with as slaves are guys I’m only going to be interacting with in really formal interactions. I say really formal but it’s also really intimate and I find that really powerful, you know? It does put some pressure on us all to be really practiced in how we move and talk and interact but I come from a dance background and love that and for me it’s like really beautiful performance art and beautifully collaborative really even if I’m dominant. It’s really sweet actually. I say slave because that’s their role in our group and they have protocol obligations at events but I have responsibilities too of course and the way it’s explained to me it’s almost more like they’re role is as my pets for that time so I’m in charge but have to take care of them too. It’s like really beautiful drama and performance art and our group does creative writing to go with it all.
But I *love* your sense of humor and would definitely get a kick out of sharing that with my friends I’m more informal with. It’s really cute and I love it!
@opposablethumbs:
Thanks for GOTV! I’m in Hampstead and Kilburn (Tulip Siddiq). So, maybe you’re going door-to-door in Kensington, or Finchley and Golders Green? Kensington is about as marginal as it gets: 20 votes in 2017!
Good on you, @LollyPop!
aha Moggie, yes we are just down the road in North Islington. Went to Tulip Siddiq’s get-out-the-vote last time, in ’17 🙂 but this time have been going to Kensington and to Finchley-and-Golders-Green over the last couple of weeks, plus yesterday and today in Chipping Barnet (350-something votes in it). I was guessing Finchley-and-Golders-Green from your description, so I was close but not quite 🙂
@moregeekthan
Yeah, that’s what I was going for. I play a lot of Star Trek Online and it has Bind on Equip items.
I’m on the edge of my seat for the UK results, but the leader of Canada’s Conservatives just resigned amid a story that he used party funds for his kids’ private school tuition.
Oh, the teeth gnashing is just delicious.
A 6′ 7″ mogging machine? Now I’m picturing a cross between the Buddha and Peter Steele (RIP) circa 1995.
If a 6’7″ ripped guy with a gentle soul and inspiring words about peace and acceptance makes incels jealous they deserve it for their bad attitudes. In the meantime I want such a sweet beautiful hunk for my stable.
@Naglfar:
There actually is a (humorous) unit for feminine beauty: the millihelen. Applied to a woman whose face is pretty enough to launch but one ship (compared to the mythical Helen‘s thousand, natch).
I have no idea how many millihelens I rate, BTW.
@Stacey:
Same here.
And the jolly old fat guy is welcome to hang around, too, because jollity is always a good thing in a man.
@Bina
I love that and so agree. Positivity means so much to me!
(Only the handsome ripped hunk on my leash under my whip though!)
But for hanging out *yes* jollity, good spirits, love and positivity and *respect* in any person with any body is what my soul wants.
@Bina
So, Santa Claus? Not super familiar with the guy, but I hear he likes milk and cookies.
The unfortunate thing about Santa is the whole “knows when you’ve been bad or good, so you better be good” part. It sounds rather Orwellian that there is somebody out there who is constantly watching and will punish you if you don’t follow the rules. So you better be good for goodness sake, or to Room 101.
@Bina
I find that extremely hilarious. I believe I am rated in microhelens then (one or two persons might launch a war for me). I suspect most people are, except stars like Taylor Swift, who could be rated in gigahelens.
The problem with millihelens is that you’re using metric prefixes with Troy units.