By David Futrelle
Now the incels are mad at the Buddha.
Seems that several weeks ago one prolific Incels.co commenter called speedtypingincel discovered a post on a Buddhist message board claiming, based on an extremely close reading of ancient Buddhist texts, that the historical Buddha was an astonishing 6 foot 7 inches tall, thus rendering him irresistible to women and allowing him to “heightmog” virtually all other men of his time and ours.
“That’s the reason he had so many followers,” speedtypingincel wrote. “BONES are the most important thing in the world.”
The incels have been raging about this claim ever since.
“A rich chad who had everything in life telling poor incels not to give a fuck,” complained someone called Sparrow’s Song.
Sounds like a conspiracy to keep people docile and prevent violent uprisings. … Now I understand why the TaIiban destroyed that Buddha statue in Afghanistan, it was a reminder of a rich chad hypocrite who told people just to cope while both physical reality itself and society fucked them over and it was a massive stone heightmog as well.
Not sure this is an entirely accurate description of Buddha’s teachings, bro.
Glad they did it, the last thing they needed was cucked symbol of coping and accepting getting bullied while they are in the middle of an uprising against the biggest bullies in the world. … Sand prophets, messianic manlets, and ancient Greek high IQ posters will always be better than bootlicking buddhists.
A commenter called Neggr was a bit more concise, complaining that “Buddha was a slim gigachad.” Yet another griped that the Buddha was “a mogging machine” — that is, a man who out-alphas all the other men in his vicinity — “who had everything.”
More than a few expressed their astonishment that a a prince would give up a life of pleasure and ease to take up a quest for enlightenment. As someone called Hell put it
Buddha had a wife and even children and god knows how many concubines he fucked until he got bored and decided to have his extended vacation beach party.
Then he gets back and tries to convince everyone to be celibate lmao.
jfl at ricecels that fell for this crap
This has been today’s Comparative Religion lesson, incel-style.
Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.
We Hunted the Mammoth relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!
Excuse me, but I am the mogging machine, here.
@kupo
You better than anyone!
It even appears now there is an incel book! I will not link it, but has anyone had a chance to read it who can offer a review? It’s called, The Blackpill Theory: why incels are right & you are wrong. It’s been promoted on incels.co
A mogging machine:
(A Unimog, a German military truck popular with offroading campers, who call themselves ‘moggers’)
@moregeekthan
Ah, that one’s unique to mmorpgs, and hence well out of my wheelhouse.
It is in your nym
The discussion of incel and gamer slang reminds me that “mogging” is also a thing in World of Warcraft: it is short for Transmogrification, which is WoW is when you change the appearance of your equipment to look like other equipment of the same type. Basically, it lets you use the gear that has the best game values while still being able to play Pretty Pretty Dress-Up to your heart’s content.
I spent four months killing a Lovercaftian Old God once a week in the hopes that I could loot some cool looking shoulder armor from his corpse. It wasn’t even as powerful as the shoulder piece that I already had I only wanted it for Pretty Pretty Dress-Up purposes.
@Stacey
I really dig that! It sounds like the etiquette gives you the emotional space to really develop what cooperative play or narrative you want respectfully, and it’s also just nice to hear that you’re in a cool group that you’re psyched about! 🙂
@Allandrel
Pretty Pretty Dress-Up is extremely valid
Wow, even when talking about non-European groups they like they give off racist cringe vibes. And you know they’re way fucking deep in the rabbit hole when they’re actually cheerleading Talibans of all people.
Also, pretty sure the 6’7” thing they decided to fixate on (because at this point they like being angry and so will fixate on any random shit to fuel that anger) is just some weird fanficcy flex by a random Buddhist with a rather poor understanding of Gautama Siddhartha’s teachings.
The slang and measurements talk made me laugh.
They really are incapable of viewing anything except through their weird sexual anxiety, aren’t they.
@Kara
Thank you! Yes, you’re so right in your take on it I think.
We work as each other’s go-betweens in the practical part of setting stuff up and setting up the start of the relationship. It’s slow and gives people time to feel comfortable but it’s also exciting.
(And maybe TMI warning here but hope this is ok) It’s like there’s a build up to enjoy. Each little stage is exciting. I was talking about that in the open thread like how my mentor and friend in the group who is a really amazing woman gave me as a gift a bodyharness made for a (hot and ripped) man’s body that I actually get to put on the guy who I’m going to be allowed to formally claim as my slave.
So yes because of the formality and protocol in our group although of course I’ve seen pictures I don’t even know his name and am not supposed to. But also because of the mutual trust of our group and our friends in the group arranging this I can know in the back of my mind that the real person he is wants this and trusts me and the real person that I am. But because it’s only in the back of our minds you’re right it creates a safe and trusted space for me to experience and enjoy him just as the hot male body harnessed and on my leash doing what I want. We all do journaling and creative writing to go with this and I’ve been writing about how I feel like maybe I am symbolically resisting patriarchy’s objectification of women’s bodies by reversing that — but in a more compassionate and woman-centered way because I’m not going to have sex with him and don’t want to right away or maybe ever but want to just pet him and run my hands over those beautiful muscles and cradle his handsome chiseled face and admire him as my pet. He is exactly what incels call a Chad and I love it and I feel I am resisting incels’ ugly ideas by admiring and enjoying him that way.
I am not a Buddhist by any stretch (though I sometimes read from the Dhammapada before I meditate) but AFAIK many of the physical descriptions and representations of Gautama Buddha are meant to be symbolic rather than literal: for example, I understand that the thing on his head that looks like a man-bun is a symbol of his elevated consciousness. If a Buddhist text claimed that he was of unusual height, I’d suspect that it was more a metaphor for him being able to see further than most, or something on those lines.
Also, their characterisation of the Buddha as having given up a life of pleasure for asceticism is misleading¹: Buddhism was supposed to be a “middle way” between the two extremes of self-indulgence and self-denial. Buddhist monks live frugal lives but they don’t practice the kind of extreme self-mortification found in other religions. In the legends of his life, Gautama tried the life of an ascetic after he became disgusted with his previous hedonistic life and found it unsatisfying: a person who spent their life eating, drinking and screwing and tries to deny themselves those things is just going to spend their time thinking about them anyway and making themselves miserable. The One Weird Trick™ he espoused was to learn not to want them in the first place. That insight was why he was called Buddha, “the enlightened”, in the first place.
¹ Much unprecedented. Such surprise. Wow.
@StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
Congrats on your slave. Part of why I like BDSM even though I’m not part of any groups at present is how it allows subversion of patriarchy and other norms. Enjoy.
Dad Bodhi.
(sorry)
@Naglfar
Thank you so much, that is really nice of you to say that! YES subversion or norms can be so powerful.
I haven’t taken possession of him yet but have the option of doing so at one of our events tonight or at our event tomorrow night. I spent time last night and during my break today just making sure I am kind of familiar with the layout of his harness so I’m not all fumbling around with it in the moment.
I mean it looks really sexy on a handsome guy but as a practical matter before we actually do it it first seems like a bunch of straps and buckles that can get all tangled up. Definitely impresses on me that doing this for real is not like jerks think porn is but to make 30 minutes of a beautiful live drama it takes hours and hours of practice and communication. But that’s art and it’s worth it. So yes in the moment tomorrow I have to be able to get him into it and everything buckled and locked so it’s snug but doesn’t hurt him but without fumbling so my motions seem firm and decisive but caring. That’s why it reminds me of theater.
I’m more comfortable with my bullwhip (I’m not striking him or anyone with it but cracking it is only for dramatic effect when I give verbal instructions so that means I have to really know what I’m doing to *not* accidentally hit anyone since it’s a real whip and can be dangerous if you don’t know what you are doing). But with lots of practice I feel really confident now. I even carried it to work today (not to crack but as an accessory to my outfit) and I love the feel I get from having.
Replying to you has inspired me to journal after when we are slow here in our salon so thank you for the inspiration!
@Stacey – So you are literally a Stacy who’s in a relationship of sorts with a Chad. As a dude with almost every stereotypical incel trait except the bitterness and misogyny, I find this hilarious (in a good way – hope you and him are happy together for a long time).
@Paireon
If you mean to talk about the irony that my name is actually Stacey, yes, I love that too. As for my slave I don’t know his name and as I kind of explained above it’s kind of a symbolic point that I don’t so that I can just enjoy him as the gorgeous male body that he is and at my whim. Like I said it’s an act of resistance against patriarchy by turning the objectification of women on its head. So I’m proud, as a Mistress, to say I don’t know or care what his actual name is as long as he’s tall, handsome and ripped, and on all fours at my feet wearing the harness I put him in, on my leash and respectful of the sound of my whip cracking. It’s important for the psychology of where I am right now that I say that clearly using those words if I respond to anything about his name. I hope that makes sense. But yeah he’s a “chad” in the generic sense of the word the way creepy incels mean it so if you meant to talk about the awesome irony of that then yes.
I don’t know what you mean when you say you have every stereotypical incel trait except misogyny and bitterness because aren’t those the two things that really define an incel? Or maybe you mean incels’ own stereotypes of themselves. Either way of course I don’t judge a guy’s or anyone worth as a person by their body or appearance but just insist on the right to do judge by those things for choosing who I want to do anything sexual with but of course that second part goes without saying for normal people right? Just not whiny incels.
@StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
If you do ever decide to name your slave, you could name him Chad and bask in the irony.
@Nagflar
Oh, eventually we will probably meet in regular life and I’ll know his real name then but for the present we are enjoying the curated short dramatic live vignettes because that’s what we decided on. I do see the irony though.
What I’d rather do is walk him in front on a bunch of whiny incels and tell them off for their entitled attitudes. That would be powerful. I’ve been practicing enough with whip cracking that it’s starting to become more natural to work a crack in when I raise my voice for emphasis to make a point in conversation and I find myself becoming more aware all the time of whether I have enough space wherever I happen to be clear of people and furniture or whatever to be able to do like a coachman’s crack safely. So it’s becoming more natural.
The funny part is that some “ancient Greek high IQ posters” — or rather, Greek-SPEAKING and Greek-INFLUENCED thinkers in southern Asia — actually practised Buddhism after Alexander the Great’s successors set up Hellenistic kingdoms in Bactria and the Punjab.
Oh, and if you want to talk about heightmogging, I think Confucius was NINE feet tall according to legend.