By David Futrelle
On the Incels.co forums, a fellow called jerrycan dan reports on a recent date with, er, his own hand.
Brace yourself. It’s NSFW, and probably not safe for your stomach either.
So that happened.
I have a lot of questions, but honestly I’m not sure I want to know the answers.
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Nope, nothing I can add to this, so here’s Jeremy the Bear making breakfast:
@Pagan Reader – Misandrist Spinster:
Thanks, I needed those after reading that. Hope you don’t mind too much given that you don’t like me. /s
But seriously, why would anyone want to share this? I can only imagine that it’s a particularly gross attempt at pulling a “notice me, sempai!” aimed at other incels. Who knows, maybe after all that time he’s developed a fetish for attracting the attention of his fellow losers with disgusting sexual anecdotes. I’ve seen weirder.
Is he confusing super glu for seman? Because that sounds more like he’s had an accident with a tube of super glu than masterbating.
@Paireon
To blame the women of the world for not having sex with him? That’s my best guess.
*puts on armchair sexologist hat*
It could be a form of exhibitionism combined with a humiliation or masochism fetish.
I’m not buying this. My money is on him having made this up for attention.
@Naglfar:
Ah, a leg combover…(or cumover, as the case may be)
Why? Oh god, why?
Back when I was attempting to date — and occasionally even dating! — I tried personal ads, including personals on the phone. (This was, of course, back in the day when telephones were the hand crank model.) You would call a phone number and leave a message. There would be a bunch of people also on the line with you, and they had left their messages too. If you liked a person’s message you would leave a message and they could speak with you right away.
Most of the people on the line were men. Naturally, some were gross. I still recall one guy who had left a message about how incredibly horny he was. He seemed to be super impressed with his own horniness. He said nothing about the kind of woman he was looking for or even how he and she could enjoy sexytime fun. Nope. It was all about him and his penis.
Just like the incel under discussion.
Incels always gotta be one upping each other in everything including grossness
@Naglfar: Yeah, sounds about right now that I think about it (no matter how much I don’t want to; my brain has terrible self-control).
Worst Penthouse Forum letter ever.
WELL OKAY THEN THAT IS VERY INTERESTING I WISH YOU FURTHER LUCK ON YOUR MASTURBATORY ENDEAVOURS