By David Futrelle
On the Incels.co forums, a fellow called jerrycan dan reports on a recent date with, er, his own hand.
Brace yourself. It’s NSFW, and probably not safe for your stomach either.
So that happened.
I have a lot of questions, but honestly I’m not sure I want to know the answers.
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Umm…why did he feel it necessary to document this? I mean, even fellow incels probably don’t care about one guy’s cum getting stuck to his leg. Although I’m sure they’ll find a way to blame this on women. Probably something about how since Stacy wouldn’t have sex with him, he had to masturbate and this happened.
Also, is it just me or does anything that compare semen to food (e.g. gravy, yogurt) turn other people’s stomachs as well? I have no problem with semen itself or other words for it, but anything comparing it to food is eurggh.
I have questions. Mainly one question. Why. Why did he write it and why did you share it? XD
http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/brain_bleach3_4282.jpg
Why…..did he LEAVE it there long enough to dry?
Especially since from the sound of it he seems to have been standing up while pounding.
Which…also opens the question of whether he cleaned the floor right away, either.
Brain bleach:
When I think men couldn’t break my brain anymore than it does they prove me wrong.
Btw David Futrelle everybody please read this
PEWDIEPIE HAS SEXUALLY ASSAULTED AND HARASSED WOMEN AND HIS FANS ARE HARASSING THEM TO SILENCE THEM! PLEASE EVERYONE SUPPORT THESE POOR WOMEN!
https://twitter.com/kalina_chung/status/1156135426509303808
Y U DO???
@Fruitloopsie
That’s awful. PewDiePie has been Nazi rapist scum since the beginning yet millions still love him.
I wish for healing and good luck to the women he harmed. They’re up against a powerful enemy.
@Naglfar
Agreed on the food thing. You can make any food disgusting just by adding the word “man” as a prefix.
So to you a Manwich is *not* a meal?
@Allandrel
I’m also grossed out by semen references that include the word “baby.” Yes, I understand that sperm is needed for conception, but mentioning it in the same sentence seems too close to sexualizing babies.
Why cum on the floor? I just don’t get it. I no longer get my period, but when I did, I didn’t let the blood drain onto the floor, or whatever.
I remember reading about a study done of hotel bedspreads. (I know how weird this sounds.) The researchers were shocked by the amount of semen on them, and the DNA findings indicated it was from many different men. Use a towel, at least.
It’s not liquid gold, but they could keep a little more of it to themselves . . .
I once went on a blind date with a guy who used the term “baby batter”, as if my uterus were a griddle. There was no second date.
So he left it on his leg long enough for it to dry? That’s….disturbing.
I don’t know, but whatever he paid for a security deposit, it’s not nearly enough.
@Pagan Reader
ITTY BITTY KITTY COMMITTEE~! <3<3<3
*hedsplort*
*ahem*
@Dormousing_It
Bad aim? That’s the most likely explanation I can think of. Many men have bad aim and do not seem to care.
I knew hotel bedspreads were gross, but this is a whole new level. Now I will be unable to get that image out of my head next time I go to a hotel.
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Maybe he wanted to try waxing but didn’t understand how it worked?
Naglfar
Ditto.
Everybody:
This thread is so nasty lol.
There’s been quite a few men being outed as predators and creeps recently like tyga, TI, onision, projared and more and hope their victims get justice.
@Naglfar – Could be. I thought he might be doing a variation on that thing kids do where they spread Elmer’s glue on their hand, let it dry, and peel it off to reveal a perfect impression of their palm.
How’s he going to explain the rope-patterned bald spots on his legs to his wagecuck co-workers?
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Well, in all the jobs that I’ve worked I haven’t spent much time studying the hair on my coworkers’ legs, so I’d imagine nobody will notice unless he’s a model or athlete (and he probably isn’t). Plus, if his legs are that hairy, some of the other hair will cover it.
I can’t believe I’m devoting this much thought to some random incel who came on his leg.
@Naglfar:
When I stay at a hotel, I always remove the decorative bedspread from the bed before I go to sleep. I have no idea how often they are washed.
@Pagan Reader – Misandrist Spinster:
I think my favorite pic is the 2nd one down. I love it when cats snuggle together.
Incel, I don’t know you but I do know a lie when I read one. Your semen isn’t Super Glue. Or Elmer’s glue. Or even flour mixed with water. What next: your semen is so powerful it started a fire? Or maybe your house exploded when you ejaculated? Or possibly the pizza delivery person looked in your window, caught your finale, and applauded you? I don’t think so.
Well, it’s a good thing I ate before I read that. I certainly don’t have an appetite now.
Dude shower! This is just gross.
Yes, this story, as disgusting as it may be, is also as fake as it is gross.
There is no way you could ever “peel” dry semen off of yourself like glue. It would just dry up and flake off. I don’t know why incels also have to make their own self pitying stories as horrible as possible.