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MGTOW Redditors: Women use sophisticated boob-presentation technology to confuse and enslave men, or something

Those can’t be real

By David Futrelle

Fellas! Have you heard about this thing called a “bra?” The ladies wear them on their boobs and get this, they don’t just wear them to keep their bazoongas from going all floppy when they walk around. No, sometimes ladies use sophisticated bra technology to make their boobs look bigger than they really are! So they can hypnotize you with their big boobs … even if they don’t have big boobs!

A couple of days ago one Man Going His Own Way called end_all_wars posted a 100% medically accurate diagram of the effects of this devious technology in the MGTOW subreddit to let his colleagues know about the insidious danger of this sort of false falsie advertising.

Terrifying, huh? These devious ladies have various boob-enhancing technologies at their disposal — from pushup bras to padded bras to chicken-cutlet-looking silicon bra inserts, which can apparently turn the tiniest of breasts into Dolly-Partonesque uberboobs. Or so say the MGTOWs who have encountered this technology in the wild.

“I got fooled a few times LOL,” wrote someone called CpuDoc67.

Nothing is worse than when you are expecting melons and you end up with two bee stings.

The experience of seeing giant balloon boobs transform into regular-sized boobs with the removal of the bra is apparently quite traumatic.

“I wouldn’t call them bee stings.” wrote TheTruthSetYouFree.

[M]ore like, bread dough before its cooked, lumpy and kind of weirdly shaped. small for sure … but so poorly formed and droopy you just want to puke. been fooled HARDCORE only once but fuck, looked like DD to a post pregnancy flappy shitty ass B cup that somehow was small and also have the gravitational effects of a J cup.

A commenter called Scaralamozzi was also quite discomboobulated the first time he witnessed a small breast reveal.

The first time i noticed how much pushup is there in a bra i was shocked. I still remember the exact moment it happened.

Another commenter was stunned to discover that even b-cup boobs are affected by the forces of gravity.

I legit had 2 young girls in their twenties with saggy b cups that I thought would be firm c-cups. Oh well, I fucked them anyways but it was weird having to hold up their tits when I grabbed them.

So weird to discover that boobs are not in fact bags of sand.

A commenter called Valor_X was rocked to his core by the mere notion of pushup bras.

When I first learned about push up bras it blew my mind

It was all a lie

Indeed. some suggested that all the things that women do to make themselves look more conventionally attractive are cruel deceptions. According to Paul_G1, these tactics

It’s the equivalent of a guy wearing 3 inch insoles and a muscle suit under his shirt with a George Clooney mask.

Says everything

It’s all lies

The plastered on make up,hair extensions, the push up bras, the tights that firm up their flat asses.

Take it off it’s like wtf? What happened? Why the fuck do you look shit? Bait and switch.

It’s been accepted as normal now.

Always look at her as what she is. The raw thing. I know women that wake up 30 mins before their “bf” Just to do their makeup. The man’s never seen her real face.

The horror.

I’m going to go lie down for a while to recover.

But before I go: MGTOWs and other misogynists, as you may have gathered from that last comment, also have very strong feelings about makeup in general (and lipstick in particular), which you can read about to your heart’s content in the Mammoth archives.

H/T — Reddit’s badwomensanatomy subreddit, which reposted the wonderful diagram above.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Viscaria
Viscaria
1 year ago

I legit had 2 young girls in their twenties

So much gross in a mere nine words.

epronovost
epronovost
1 year ago

so much gross in a mere nine words

No my young padawan, so much lies in a mere nine words.

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 year ago

So much gross lies in eight words. I’m reasonably certain that “2” doesn’t count as a word even if it substitutes for one.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

These fuckwads always forget that sometimes sophisticated boob presentation technology makes big boobs look smaller. I have H cups and they definitely look a slight bit less huge when they’re all harnessed.

Definitely not Steve
Definitely not Steve
1 year ago

I have a very strong suspicion that these lads’ expectations are a bit colored by the women they’ve seen in porn. Either they’re used to seeing fake boobs, or they’ve just seen them in the most flattering camera angles and lighting possible, combined with substantial airbrushing and post-processing.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Viscaria, Snowberry
Just the phrase “MGTOW” packs so much gross in one acronym.

@Definitely Not Steve

I have a very strong suspicion that these lads’ expectations are a bit colored by the women they’ve seen in porn.

I suspect the very same thing. These stories sound a bit fishy.

It seems that while many men fetishize large breasts (e.g. a lot of porn for the male gaze has actresses with big breasts), I’d imagine that actually having large breasts could be inconvenient sometimes.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

My god they are stupid

Crip Dyke
1 year ago

I’m just gonna go with Lainy’s response here.

…although I will selfishly note that I was just writing about the consequences of NOT covering your breasts with fabric if you’re “female”* and living in Utah.

*That’s a quote quote, not a scare quote. Included because it’s entirely unlikely that the Utah courts have figured out what “female” means for the purpose of that law.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Crip Dyke
WTF? So showing breasts in your own home is a crime if someone is offended? Talk about snowflakes.
More seriously, though, that’s awful. My guess is that another major group to be hurt by this law will be breastfeeding parents. This will become just another way to prevent people from feeding their children.

Regarding the definition of “female” for the law, I don’t expect that it will be a very good definition. Utah is, as shown now, not a very progressive state. I’m guessing they’ll probably limit it to AFAB people.

I’ve tried to argue with people about issues like this, and they often respond by saying that breasts are a secondary sex characteristic. I point out that beards are also a secondary sex characteristic, and ask if men with beards should be required to cover up in public. Nobody has ever made a law about that.

I was in Utah a few months ago on vacation. Beautiful rocks and mountains, but clearly an idiotic government.

BBBB
BBBB
1 year ago

Nothing is worse than when you are expecting melons and you end up with two bee stings.

I had that happen at a farmers’ market once.

Shadowplay
1 year ago

… if men with beards should be required to cover up in public. Nobody has ever made a law about that.

Both Henry II and Peter the Great want a quick word with you. You want them together or seperate?

Dalillama
Dalillama
1 year ago

Only Peter, the British beard tax appears entirely mythological.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
1 year ago

How does obsessing over women’s lingerie and makeup fit in to the “going their own way” picture? What kind of men’s issue is women’s fashion, anyway?

Shadowplay
1 year ago

Aww. I always liked that tale. 🙁

Genjones
Genjones
1 year ago

Crip Dyke- if I’m reading this legal definition correctly, that technically also makes natural breastfeeding illegal.

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
1 year ago

Jeeeeeez, if seeing a woman bare breasted bothers you in any way, just politely look away! For Pete’s sake, it ain’t rocket science.

Heck, I find it awkward, but it’s so easy to just shrug and look away and it doesn’t hurt ANYONE.

Pie
Pie
1 year ago

with a George Clooney mask

Oh my god you are so old.

Crip Dyke
1 year ago

@genjones:

It certainly can, though it’s not guaranteed. It depends on whether anyone would be “likely to be affronted or alarmed”.

So, if anyone in Utah is some repressed religious bigot that breastfeeding in public is pretty much the same as fucking in public, then yeah. Fortunately, I’m sure those people are so rare that no one would say that a breastfeeding parent is “likely to affront or alarm” anyone…

…oh no, wait. Utah.

FSM these people chap my hide.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

Nothing is worse than when you are expecting melons and you end up with two bee stings.

Yeah, yeah, I hear you, MGTOW. That’s a really sad story. Go your own effin’ way already and leave women’s breasts alone.

I hope that nothing is worse in my life than the times I was expecting a human being (because a guy acted like a human being at the outset) but instead ended up with a guy who was inadequate in many, many ways and decided that controlling me would be the way to gain the power he craved so very badly. I hope.

Crip Dyke
1 year ago

@Naglfar:

Regarding the definition of “female” for the law, I don’t expect that it will be a very good definition. Utah is, as shown now, not a very progressive state. I’m guessing they’ll probably limit it to AFAB people.

Oh, no, it will be worse than that.

In Texas they had a history of ruling that trans people couldn’t marry anyone. The lower courts would just rule against whatever the trans person said that they wanted, and the final court of civil appeal (they have a separate supreme court for criminal appeals) would just never take any of their appeals so no binding precedent could be created and what another court of equal standing rules is only supposed to be “persuasive”, not a final word. Courts are free to rule differently from their peers, just not their superiors.

So until Obergefell, trans people always got a raw deal, no matter sexual orientation, no matter gender assigned at birth, no matter stage of transition. Nothing mattered except that the courts got to rule against trans people. It was fucking awful.

i expect no less from the Utah courts in relation to this statute.

ObSidJag
ObSidJag
1 year ago

@Naglfar:

I’d imagine that actually having large breasts could be inconvenient sometimes.

Not just inconvenient but downright painful.

TMI for what follows:
I used to not be able to see my feet due to being overly endowed. Also used to have killer headaches, back aches, etc., and I still have the grooves in my shoulders from where my bra straps cut into me. When I ran, I had to cross an arm over my chest to keep them from hurting me.

And I don’t even want to talk about the “attention” I used to get because of them–ugh.

I had reduction surgery in my mid 20’s. MD took a 1lb & 1.5lbs out of them respectively–so, yeah, literal pain.

Haven’t read all the comments so have probably been ninja’s somewhere.

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

Here’s a more entertaining presentation on this subject:

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
1 year ago

Re: Inconvenient breast size

Just my guess, but insofar as women generally feel it necessary to wear a bra for support at all, I’d take that as an indicator of inconvenience.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
1 year ago

It was all a lie

Once again, unrealistic standards collide with reality. They get mad when women are too fake, and they get mad when women are too real.

My favorite part is when they expect unsupported DD+ breasts to be gravity-defyingly pert.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

Anyone have more info about Peter’s beard ban?

@Crip Dyke

Fortunately, I’m sure those people are so rare that no one would say that a breastfeeding parent is “likely to affront or alarm” anyone…

…oh no, wait. Utah.

There are a shocking number of people who seem to be opposed to public breastfeeding, including some women. I’m not sure if it is sexual repression, a manifestation of ingrained misogyny, or a mix of both.

i expect no less from the Utah courts in relation to this statute.

So it will affect all trans folks? This law sucks even more than I thought. Now it’s both misogynistic and transphobic.

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants
My guess on the expecting huge breasts to defy gravity is that they’ve only ever seen them in the context of a) porn, where the women have surgery to make their breasts bigger and it’s edited to make them look more pert or b) comics where all the women have DD+ cups that act like B cups.

Regarding George Clooney masks and 3 inch insoles, there’s nothing stopping people from wearing those things. I mean, it’s a bit unusual, but if all the MGTOWs did that, it would make it much easier to find and avoid them.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

Oh, god… the trauma….

I so feel for the poor thing

🙁

Allandrel
Allandrel
1 year ago

@Moggie

OMG, she is hilarious and I love her.

“Boobies. No boobies. Boobies. No boobies!”

@Naglfar

You’d think that pron would actually have helped them recognize some of the variety in breast shape and size. Sure, there are lots of performers with implants, and lots with uncommonly full but naturally pert breasts, there are also plenty of small-busted performers. But it wouldn’t surprise me if these guys ignore their existence just like they ignore any women they see IRL that do not rank high enough on their “HB” scale.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Allandrel

there are also plenty of small-busted performers. But it wouldn’t surprise me if these guys ignore their existence just like they ignore any women they see IRL that do not rank high enough on their “HB” scale.

It says here (link a little bit NSFW) that the average bra size among porn stars is 34B, which is actually smaller than the average bra size of all women in America (34DD). My guess is, however, that the women in porn, even if they don’t have any implants, use lighting and editing to make their breasts look better than they would off camera. Also, it seems like a large amount of porn does feature women with very large breasts, and it’s possible the MGTOWs are viewing just that porn.

Victorious Parasol
1 year ago

These guys have such strange ideas about grooming and presentation.

MUST PEACOCK TO ATTRACT THE FEEEEEMALES!

DAMMIT, WHY DO I GOTTA WIPE MY ASS TO ATTRACT THE FEEEEEEMOIDS?

WHY DO WIMMINZ TAKE SO LONG IN THE BATHROOM?

DID SHE USE A SPATULA TO PUT ON HER MAKEUP? UGH!

Personally, I don’t wear makeup except on very special occasions, but I do take care of my skin.

Hambeast
Hambeast
1 year ago

Huh. That drawing on the right, minus the rounded part, is exactly what a bodice or corset will do.

Husbeast and I used to do a lot of Renaissance festivals. He is an undisputed master of creating cleavage out of nothing* (using a Renaissance style bodice, of course.) I’ve seen him lace up a skinny lad and make him a respectable cleavage. I’ve seen him lace up busty ladies with different results, based on what the lady in question asked for; one wanted comic-book bazongas and ended up fleshy melons just inches under her chin. The other one wanted a more subdued effect and looked like she was maybe a C-cup afterward.

Some folks with breasts like to treat them like hairstyles; different looks for different days, what’s the big deal?

*He’s also a whiz at braiding hair! I always look great at a Ren festival thanks to him.

ObSidJag
ObSidJag
1 year ago

… a shocking number of people who seem to be opposed to public breastfeeding,…ncluding some women…if it is sexual repression, a manifestation of ingrained misogyny, or a mix of both.

Naglfar, I had read somewhere (very long ago) that one of the reason, in addition to what you cited, is because we, as a society, have sexualized women’s breasts to the point that we’ve lost sight of their original, nutritive function–feeding a baby–and only see them as sexual objects.

I know I personally get uncomfortable seeing someone breastfeed in public, but I also know that’s on me, not the person breastfeeding.

And, oh, yeah, btw, men have breast tissue as well; hence why they can–and do–get breast cancer. Don’t hear much of a shit fit thrown when they go shirtless (unless it’s those male presenting people who have more on top than *other* people think they should–ugh, that’s an unwieldy sentence, just from a purely grammatical standpoin–sorry).

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@ObSidJag

one of the reason, in addition to what you cited, is because we, as a society, have sexualized women’s breasts to the point that we’ve lost sight of their original, nutritive function–feeding a baby–and only see them as sexual objects.

Humans are the only animals with permanently enlarged breasts, so we are likely the only species to eroticism them like this. It’s a bit frustrating that we’ve forgotten their original biological purpose in favor of the male gaze.

And, oh, yeah, btw, men have breast tissue as well; hence why they can–and do–get breast cancer. Don’t hear much of a shit fit thrown when they go shirtless (unless it’s those male presenting people who have more on top than *other* people think they should

Indeed. I have a friend whose father (a cis man in his 50s) got breast cancer.

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
1 year ago

Gdangit Migtoes, go your own way already. Preferably off a cliff.

Regarding boobs, I believe my partner when they say they just wish they could leave them at home. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend had a funny song on the subject.

https://youtu.be/aZx5zfkG6oU

Catalpa
Catalpa
1 year ago

I have the perfect solution for this dude. If he finds a woman he’s interested in, all he needs to do is tell her about how deceitful and treacherous he thinks women are for wearing bras, and he’ll never have to worry about seeing small or imperfect or saggy breasts ever again.

Dalillama
Dalillama
1 year ago

@Naglfar
Peter the Great wanted to modernise Russia, and went round to France to see how to do it. One of the things he noticed was that nobody wore a beard, so when he got back home.he made a law that everyone had to shave. This was deeply unpopular, as the Orthodox church held that shaving beards was a grave sin. So eventually Peter compromised and allowed anyone who paid a tax (varying by their social status) to carry around a beard token, entitling them to wear a beard. Anyone bearded caught inside a city without such a token was forcibly shaved on the spot.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Dalillama
Interesting. I was unaware that such a law had existed. I stand corrected regarding beard legality.

ObSidJag
ObSidJag
1 year ago

@Battering Ram:

my partner when they say they just wish they could leave them at home.

There was a female comedian, whose name escapes me, who had an entire routine based on how it would be more convenient it would be if we had different sizes for different occasions including removing them completely so our partners could enjoy them while we napped.

@Naglfar: I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s father.

Grace
Grace
1 year ago

Naglfar:

I’m guessing they’ll probably limit it to AFAB people.

If you were willing to risk some money, I’d take that bet. It will only take one woman who can pass as cis going topless somewhere to get arrested and in front of a judge for the reasoning to suddenly be, “Well, you wanted to be treated like a woman, so that’s how this court is going to treat you.”

Until she gets to jail.

https://thinkprogress.org/transgender-woman-arrested-for-exposing-breasts-jailed-with-men-8011009ab201/

Grace

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@ObSidJag

There was a female comedian, whose name escapes me, who had an entire routine based on how it would be more convenient it would be if we had different sizes for different occasions including removing them completely so our partners could enjoy them while we napped.

I don’t have female presenting breasts yet (but hopefully soon I can afford to medically transition), but I see how that would be useful. Though I must admit, disembodied breasts would kind of creep me out a bit, so I’ll pass on the enjoying them while their owner naps.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

What has always annoyed me about big breast is the stereotypes that get placed onto me because of them. Like somehow having big breast means I’m over sexed and a bimbo.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Grace
You’re probably right. Judges will want to give trans* women the worst treatment they can, and that will include arresting them for this kind of law.

This shouldn’t be a law at all. Anyone have any thoughts on how we could challenge it in the courts or get rid of it other ways?

vaiyt
vaiyt
1 year ago

This is almost cute, like watching a bunch of teenagers fumble around the realities of sex after growing up with porn. Except they’re grown ass adults who should have figured out this shit already.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

@ Naglfar

It’s a bit frustrating that we’ve forgotten their original biological purpose in favor of the male gaze.

Particularly as it means nursing women tend to be legally prevented from feeding their infants!

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 year ago

@Grace: Sadly, that’s not the only such incident, just the most widely publicized one. There have been at least a few others, and the most recent incident happened in 2016. Supposedly, the reason why this happens is because in some states, the courts determine gender mainly in terms of outward presentation, while the prison system determines gender in terms of either birth certificate or genitalia. And reminder, while it’s gotten better, there still exist states where birth certificates can’t be changed.

Of course we’re just talking about publicly or semi-publicly exposed breasts here. If you include transwomen who were jailed just for being suspected of being a prostitute, and then transferred to a men’s prison upon finding out they weren’t cis-women, the list would be much longer.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Snowberry

there still exist states where birth certificates can’t be changed.

And even in many states where they can, it is difficult, such as requiring surgery as a prerequisite (which many can’t afford and/or don’t want) or requiring a bunch of bureaucratic hurdles. Or if you live in a different state than you were born in, like I do, it’s often difficult to do remotely, requiring travel to state courts in other states.
Not to even mention that most states don’t recognize non-binary folks at all or allow birth certificates with non-binary markers.

Viscaria
Viscaria
1 year ago

It’s been a whole day but I want to talk about the second half of the quote I mentioned earlier.

Oh well, I fucked them anyways

Many congratulations, oh great sex-haver

but it was weird having to hold up their tits when I grabbed them.

What does this even mean? They weren’t going to fall off if he let go. He was not required to hoist them up to clavicle height in order to touch them. Also, are we to assume that he did all of his boob-touching (see note above re: many congratulations) while everyone was standing, because boob physics are going to do totally different things if you’re lying on your back/front/etc.

But also don’t call people in their 20s “young girls,” definitely don’t call people you’re having sex with “young girls,” and please never put any words together in any combination ever again.

GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
1 year ago

A few days ago an add popped up- while I was reading the Washington Post site that .. well, if i”d just taken a sip of something, I’d be buying a new keyboard. It was for butt-enhancing male undershorts. It sounds like female dishonesty is spreading to men. I mean height-enhancing shoes are one thing, but … I’ve known very few men who were not big enough asses naturally.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

This kind of reminded me of a funny story from when I was in high school. I got in a disagreement with another student in my anatomy class about how to say the word clitoris. I pronounced it clit-tor-is because that’s how I was taught, but this other girl pronounced it cliter-ris- basically. It got into a lot of back of fourth and I remember being 17 and thinking, thank god I’m not having this argument with a guy or I’d be shutting him down pretty quickly. I’m 21 now and I still don’t know how to pronounce it because I’ve heard it been said both damn ways now.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Lainy
I’ve heard it both ways as well. It might just be a regional dialect thing. I say it the same way as you.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
1 year ago

Lainy – I’m never quite sure if “flouride” is an alternative “correct” spelling for fluoride, or a common misspelling nobody bothers to point out. Maybe it’s even a distinction without difference.

Though now I notice my browser spellcheck does in fact flag “flouride”.