By David Futrelle
Why do human beings go to war against one another? It’s a question that’s been around as long as civilization itself, and perhaps longer. Happily, we now have an answer, and it comes from YouTube: According to Sandman, a popular MGTOW YouTuber, it’s all about men’s love of female butts — and the desire not to get nagged by the women attached to these butts. And also men’s desire to rape women from other countries. And then there’s something about killer robots.
It’s not a very coherent argument, frankly.
Sandman begins his 2000-word tirade on the evils of female booty by positing a uniquely ahistorical theory of war as a way to avoid nagging from the ladies. “I believe,” he begins,
that the majority of wars are actually fought because it’s really women’s nagging and never ending demands to creature comforts that light that spark. … My theory is that this is done so women stop nagging them long enough to get some peace and quiet.
So throw away all those history books purporting to explain the causes of war. Forget Archduke Franz Ferdinand’s unhappy demise. War is all about getting women shoes and fur coats so they’ll stop with all the yapping.
You may find yourself asking: if war is all about getting things, don’t men want things too? According to Sandman, not really. While women clamor for “shoes, coats, hats, purses, vacations on the beach” and other fancy swag,
most guys out there don’t really want all that much in their lives. They don’t need a giant mansion and fancy cars. The reason many them purchase those things is because it attracts the best possible women to them. …
I would wager that the majority of male consumer spending is on sporting events and video games. Those are things that take up very little actual resources to produce. Computer code is cheap to replicate and so is the television signal you get beamed to your house with the big game in it.
Just FYI, video games are expected to generate $152.1 billion in revenues this year; the net worth of the NFL, by itself, is nearly $75 billion. But yeah, men don’t spend money on themselves; they just give it to women so they’ll stop nagging.
After delivering this definitive explanation for war, you might expect Sandman himself to shut up. What more is there to say? Apparently quite a bit. Because, as it turns out, Sandman doesn’t just have a theory of war; he’s got several theories all smushed together into one giant ball of bullshit.
In addition to showing their “love of women” by giving their wives and girlfriends fancy shit to shut them up, Sandman argues, men also demonstrate this love by … raping other men’s wives.
[T]hroughout history, men would be sent to war with the promise of being able to rape the other side’s women. And in a time of ancient Greece and Rome, they were able to take those women home from those men that they conquered and turn them into sexy slave girls. Warfare was all about taking the enemy’s riches and giving them to your wife while taking advantage of the enemy’s wife …
The love of women drives men to do unspeakable things for the desire to reproduce.
I’m pretty sure raping women doesn’t have much to do with love.
Oh, but Sandman isn’t done yet. Sandman winds up his incoherent mess of a video with a strange fantasy about a dystopian near-future in which the women of the world have somehow come into possession of killer robots.
Yes, I’m serious, and so, evidently, is he.
[W]omen keep saying that if they ruled the world, there would be no wars. But in reality, if they ruled the world and had robotic armies, they would be more wars than ever.
Uh, what?
As women use technology to fight and conquer peoples in other countries so they could strip them of their resources and for what? So they could expand their shoe collections? …
[T]hat scenario is coming and if women are increasingly killing their own newborn babies and getting away with it in the courts, do you really think that women in the future that start World War Tampon are going to have to face any kind of war crimes for whatever they do … ?
World War Tampon.
We’re talking about handing over weapons of robotic destruction to the more irrational and emotional side of the species.
Well, to be fair, you’re talking about this. I don’t think anyone else is.
What do you think is going to happen if she’s having a rough period that week? Men’s love for women means that we will be willing to hand over the keys to our own robotic destruction to the women that we love.
Right now the only robots killing people are self-driving cars.
We gave women the vote and they helped vote in socialism into the West. … We wanted women to be equal, so we opened the entire workforce to women. And as a result, men’s salaries are no longer enough to purchase the most basic place to live as a single man in a big city. …
Now we’re going to hand over robotic weapons of mass destruction. … If you’re listening to this in 2030 than you are the resistance. Except you’ll be fighting against estrogen controlled killer robots instead of A.I. … You don’t see her face as she decapitates you with her remotely controlled TV 800. …
It’s our love for them that will actually be our downfall.
Well, ok then.
Sandman’s videos — and not just this one — are as bizarre and nonsensical as any Reddit MGTOW rando. But he’s got a smooth if weirdly chipper voice and a surprisingly large audience. His typical videos get tens of thousands of views apiece, with his most popular videos coming close to a million views, and he’s been churning them out since 2013. In total, according to YouTube, his videos have gotten more than 80 million views. 80 million.
This is the sort of propaganda that millions of YouTube viewers are feeding themselves on a regular basis, which is, I have to say, even more depressing than the thought of imaginary robots cutting off my head.
H/T — Thanks to @TakedownMRAs on Twitter for highlighting this video.
Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.
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Haven’t read those books (Raistlin has a pretty nifty song by Blind Guardian based on him which is as far as my knowledge goes. He doesn’t seem like the type to fetch me anything), know the kender by reputation in D&D (basically what Allandrei described). I was trying to reference Jim’s commentocracy videos where he pretends to be french nobility and I could never quite make out what he calls his servant. Raistin was the closest I got. :p
I think things might be at the point that no matter how or when Trump leaves office there will be conspiracy accusations.
@Battering Lamb:
I think it’s Royston.
Why do I have this mental image of Terminators with large fake boobs stomping on skulls?
I’m not sure I get his argument. Women start wars by nagging men into going to steal other men’s stuff’, then men rape the opponents’ women and bring them home as sexy slave girls- and the women at home are good with this why? Is it that aside from being sexy slave girls they’re good at housework so the nagging women can sit around all day trying on shoes? I don’t think my wife would appreciate me bringing home a sexy slave girl that I’d already raped on the grounds that she can also do dishes.
Certainly, if he dies or suffers a dramatic health decline while in office. The MAGA cult has been building image of him as some ageless, highly fit superman.
Regarding his recent hospital trip, it probably wasn’t that serious because elderly people often get these sudden health hiccups. (Though I have to say, the DPRK-style secrecy and handwaving around it is really pathetic.)
On the other hand, Trump being in his 70s (and seemingly not exceptionally healthy for his age) makes me think there’s a poor chance of him lasting functional until January 2025. Honestly, I think he’s only marginally functional for the job even now. His campaign really needs the superman image for the 2020 election, hence the secrecy and handwaving.
Aside from death or a sudden decline, there’s actually a chance he’ll live very long with slowly advancing dementia. That’s part of what creeps me out with the “jokes” about him staying in office past his second term. If the Republicans could pull it off, and there was no other way for them to cling to power, I could see them eventually playing out a Norwegian Blue skit with severely incapacitated Trump.
The White House has a fairly well-equipped medical facility on the premises, so whatever it was, it must have been something urgent that required more powerful diagnostics. There was a video loop from this weekend of Trump and the WH physician hustling to the limo. Behind them, the Secret Service were running. (One of the SS had a grin on his face, which was interesting).
Seems entirely normal to run to the car for a routine unscheduled physical at 4:00 on a Saturday afternoon.
@Lumipuna
That’s certainly how they keep drawing him. It is SO CREEPY.
That is pretty much what they did with Reagan, who was already showing major signs of deterioration during the re-election campaign.
@Moggie: Ah, Royston. I wouldn’t have guessed that. I was really sure about the ‘a’. :p
Crap, that would even work with the memes comparing Trump to the Emperor from Warhammer 40K (who is a husk artificially kept alive as a symbol of the imperium, which is in fact a fascist state).
I need a drink. Tea, definitely.
The only consistency these “arguments” ever hold is: men do bad things because women make them do it but also because men are biologically driven to do it and its women’s fault for not preventing them.
THEREFORE, it’s the nagging wives’ fault that the sexy slave girls are being captured and raped, even if said wives don’t like it. Checkmate feminists.
There are conspiracy theories regardless of what happens. It may cause conspiracy theorists to spin more yarns, but they do that anyway and if he dies in office it will definitely prevent him from winning again.
There’s a bit of a conspiracy theory afloat right now (that I’m not buying) that posits that the party is using Trump’s health to push him to resign before the impeachment to spare the shame of him getting impeached. It’s probably not true, seeing as I don’t think Trump would ever resign.
Count me among the Jim Sterling fans. Although I’m not a gamer by any means (hell, “gaming” for me normally means firing up a Spectrum emulator for a few rounds of Jet-Set Willy ?), he’s been fighting to raise awareness of the shitty work conditions in the gaming industry and the use of predatory mechanisms like “loot boxes” even in games ostensibly aimed at children.
I worked on a project where the QA lead had done a stint in a games company. He said he’d never go back to a place that toxic ever again. Insane hours and a culture of “rock star” developers allowed– encouraged, even– to shit on everyone below them in the pecking order. This was the late 90s, it’s probably tens of times worse now given the sums of money involved.
As for the prospect of Trump’s sudden dramatic health collapse, I already saw people on Twitter make references to the 1993 film Dave. I saw that film long ago on Finnish TV, and now went to rehearse the plot on Wikipedia.
Anyway, it seems that nowadays the reality is just too strange for the premise of that film. Can you imagine Bill and Ellen Mitchell being written like Donald and Melania Trump? Or Gary Nance like Mike Pence?
The President cheating his wife with a hot young White House staffer? Makes too much sense to be realistic these days.
@ Alan Robertshaw
O/T I have a question about courtroom arcana.
As a barrister’s gown comes to show its age, is it customary to leave it that way as a sign of the wearer’s presumed long experience?
@Naglfar
In a way, yes, they do*laughs* I have a bunch of islands that are near where a giant dimensional catastrophe happened, so that’s my Pulp Fiction place, where I can put anything anomalous there, since many of the early D and D stuff had lots of aliens, spaceships, and other stuff. So anything that doesnt quite fit in, can go on one of the islands. Crashed spaceships because of the pull of the disaster, white Amazons who are confused by all the people looking for them, and alot more. It’s also where I’m planning my Pirate campaign. It’s an area near where South America would be, so theres quite a few empires there, with North America being ruled by a Coalitionof Tribes that have more advanced technology, mostly because the catastrophe was more focused on South America, leaving the Tribes alone to grow and prosper. So theres lots of politics in the area. And thank you. I’m at my Moms house, and she has Alzheimers. So definite stress. I go into comments section when I’m in a more aggressive mood, plenty of people who deserve a tongue lashing, the rest of the time I avoid them.
@Allandrel
Oh yeah, Kender are bad for inexperienced DMs. Really good for experienced ones. I just like them because they are fearless jerks who want to know what’s in everybody’s pockets, which fits my playstyle pretty well*laughs*
Something strange is going on. I can’t find tonight’s Dem primary debate! All the previous ones have been televised. I have it on good authority that the next one is tonight. But it doesn’t show up in a search on my TV set-top box, though “post-debate analysis” does, on CNN at the late hour of 11 PM.
According to Wikipedia it’s being hosted by NBC, but nothing shows up on NBC but the normal NBC Wednesday night television programming. It’s not on CNN before the “post-debate analysis”, either.
Apparently, it either doesn’t actually exist, isn’t actually tonight, or they didn’t put the word “debate” in the title.
Does anyone here know anything more?
@Surplus
I’ll be streaming it online via MSNBC.com. I assume it’s possible to stream online in Canada as well.
Regarding watching on television, I’m noticing the same problem you have. Every article I can find says it will be live at 9 ET, but MSNBC’s website doesn’t list it.
I can guarantee that it’s tonight, though, so this is odd. Probably an error on MSNBC’s end, but I’m not sure what to do. Is streaming it online an option for you?
I’ve been playing tabletop roleplaying games for 30+ years and this is STILL my most hated phrase. It’s always used as a justification for doing shit that is either nonsensical or hostile to the rest of the party/players.
After many years of being plagued by this phrase, I finally found the perfect response:
Dipshit: “But it’s what my character would do!”
Me: “Then make a better character.”
Reads comments about Jim Sterling and D&D and all that sort of thing
All that nerd-talk AND a leftist bend?
I… I think I’m finally home…
Single tear of manly joy
@Paireon
Welcome home. Glad you found it.
@ Kevin
Amongst some members of the bar very much so.
It’s wigs though that are the real determinator. ‘White Wig’ is a bit of an epithet for a newly qualified barrister.
To the extent that an appeal was allowed when a judge referred to counsel in those terms as it was indicative of bias and dismissive attitude.
Always happy to meet people with similar interests. Welcome Home! 🙂
If I can recommend some good British gaming channels, Eurogamer and Outside Xbox/Outside Xtra are very good. Eurogamer mainly do livesteams and episodic Let’s Plays (they have done Dark Souls, Bloodbourne, Until Dawn, Dark Souls 3, Alien Isolation and are currently doing Final Fantasy VII. All three channels have women on the team, Outside Xbox/Xtra mainly do lists, but also stream and LP too. Eurogamer is quite sweary, Outside XBox/Xtra is a bit more PG.
@ Alan Robertshaw
Many thanks. Interesting bonus about the wigs, too.
And also: once again, somebody is unclear on the difference between periods and PMS.
“What do you think is going to happen if she’s having a rough period that week?” LOL