By David Futrelle
Why do human beings go to war against one another? It’s a question that’s been around as long as civilization itself, and perhaps longer. Happily, we now have an answer, and it comes from YouTube: According to Sandman, a popular MGTOW YouTuber, it’s all about men’s love of female butts — and the desire not to get nagged by the women attached to these butts. And also men’s desire to rape women from other countries. And then there’s something about killer robots.
It’s not a very coherent argument, frankly.
Sandman begins his 2000-word tirade on the evils of female booty by positing a uniquely ahistorical theory of war as a way to avoid nagging from the ladies. “I believe,” he begins,
that the majority of wars are actually fought because it’s really women’s nagging and never ending demands to creature comforts that light that spark. … My theory is that this is done so women stop nagging them long enough to get some peace and quiet.
So throw away all those history books purporting to explain the causes of war. Forget Archduke Franz Ferdinand’s unhappy demise. War is all about getting women shoes and fur coats so they’ll stop with all the yapping.
You may find yourself asking: if war is all about getting things, don’t men want things too? According to Sandman, not really. While women clamor for “shoes, coats, hats, purses, vacations on the beach” and other fancy swag,
most guys out there don’t really want all that much in their lives. They don’t need a giant mansion and fancy cars. The reason many them purchase those things is because it attracts the best possible women to them. …
I would wager that the majority of male consumer spending is on sporting events and video games. Those are things that take up very little actual resources to produce. Computer code is cheap to replicate and so is the television signal you get beamed to your house with the big game in it.
Just FYI, video games are expected to generate $152.1 billion in revenues this year; the net worth of the NFL, by itself, is nearly $75 billion. But yeah, men don’t spend money on themselves; they just give it to women so they’ll stop nagging.
After delivering this definitive explanation for war, you might expect Sandman himself to shut up. What more is there to say? Apparently quite a bit. Because, as it turns out, Sandman doesn’t just have a theory of war; he’s got several theories all smushed together into one giant ball of bullshit.
In addition to showing their “love of women” by giving their wives and girlfriends fancy shit to shut them up, Sandman argues, men also demonstrate this love by … raping other men’s wives.
[T]hroughout history, men would be sent to war with the promise of being able to rape the other side’s women. And in a time of ancient Greece and Rome, they were able to take those women home from those men that they conquered and turn them into sexy slave girls. Warfare was all about taking the enemy’s riches and giving them to your wife while taking advantage of the enemy’s wife …
The love of women drives men to do unspeakable things for the desire to reproduce.
I’m pretty sure raping women doesn’t have much to do with love.
Oh, but Sandman isn’t done yet. Sandman winds up his incoherent mess of a video with a strange fantasy about a dystopian near-future in which the women of the world have somehow come into possession of killer robots.
Yes, I’m serious, and so, evidently, is he.
[W]omen keep saying that if they ruled the world, there would be no wars. But in reality, if they ruled the world and had robotic armies, they would be more wars than ever.
Uh, what?
As women use technology to fight and conquer peoples in other countries so they could strip them of their resources and for what? So they could expand their shoe collections? …
[T]hat scenario is coming and if women are increasingly killing their own newborn babies and getting away with it in the courts, do you really think that women in the future that start World War Tampon are going to have to face any kind of war crimes for whatever they do … ?
World War Tampon.
We’re talking about handing over weapons of robotic destruction to the more irrational and emotional side of the species.
Well, to be fair, you’re talking about this. I don’t think anyone else is.
What do you think is going to happen if she’s having a rough period that week? Men’s love for women means that we will be willing to hand over the keys to our own robotic destruction to the women that we love.
Right now the only robots killing people are self-driving cars.
We gave women the vote and they helped vote in socialism into the West. … We wanted women to be equal, so we opened the entire workforce to women. And as a result, men’s salaries are no longer enough to purchase the most basic place to live as a single man in a big city. …
Now we’re going to hand over robotic weapons of mass destruction. … If you’re listening to this in 2030 than you are the resistance. Except you’ll be fighting against estrogen controlled killer robots instead of A.I. … You don’t see her face as she decapitates you with her remotely controlled TV 800. …
It’s our love for them that will actually be our downfall.
Well, ok then.
Sandman’s videos — and not just this one — are as bizarre and nonsensical as any Reddit MGTOW rando. But he’s got a smooth if weirdly chipper voice and a surprisingly large audience. His typical videos get tens of thousands of views apiece, with his most popular videos coming close to a million views, and he’s been churning them out since 2013. In total, according to YouTube, his videos have gotten more than 80 million views. 80 million.
This is the sort of propaganda that millions of YouTube viewers are feeding themselves on a regular basis, which is, I have to say, even more depressing than the thought of imaginary robots cutting off my head.
H/T — Thanks to @TakedownMRAs on Twitter for highlighting this video.
Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.
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Really? What about Bill “I’ll vote for Trump so I don’t have to pay taxes” Gates? Or Trump himself? I don’t think he bought Mar-A-Lago for Melania.
Also, someone needs to change their Twitter name or their ‘nym here to “estrogen controlled killer robot.” I can’t afford HRT right now, so someone other than me.
Mr. Sandman, I assume, must know this song:
Exit light,
Enter night,
Take my hand
We’re off to World War Tampon
The world according to MRAs: Behind every shitty thing men do is at least one woman whose fault it is.
I wonder if this is fueled by existential dread at the possibility of a President Warren?
I don’t speak fluent Migtoe, so I might be reading too much into it…
Ok, sorry to hang out my gamer here, but… right now, basically every big video game studio is under scrutiny for abusing their employees. Some places to the degree that management calls, and I quote, “For new bodies”.
“Little resources” MY ASS!
@Gaebolga
I’m getting that vibe as well. A similar thing happened when we thought Hillary Clinton was going to be President.
Right now I’m very mad at Hillary though, because it turns out she’s a TERF. Not entirely surprised, but not pleased at all.
@TheKND
WTF are they doing to their employees? That sounds awful. It also sounds vaguely out of a cyberpunk novel.
O/T: Chick-Fil-A finally caved and (they say) they won’t be giving to anti-LGBT hate groups anymore. Not sure if this is true, but conservatives are melting down on Twitter about it and it is so beautiful. Especially where Dave Rubin complains about cancel culture and and declares that he’s no longer going to Chick-Fil-A in the same tweet.
Did this dude take a huff of something halfway through? It goes from normal migtoe crazy into stupid bizarre.
Only in MGTOW land is the logical conclusion to “soldiers rape the women in places they’ve conquered” going to be “therefore, women are bad.”
And I can just about guarantee that video games take more resources than shoes. A lot of metals have to be mined to make electronics. Just today I saw an article about how children as young as 4 in Madagascar are mining mica to be used in electronics.
@WWTH
I’m guessing the advocates of “justice for men and boys” are fine with this, however, seeing as the children in question are most likely not white.
I so wish this was Poe’s Law in action. Unfortunately it isn’t.
These chuds have been fomenting rage and entitlement for years and we’ve Ben seeing the results of that.
Everything from the Christchurch massacre, to Gilroy, to El Paso, to Stoneman Douglas.
It won’t stop.
Let’s say, for sake of argument, Trump loses in 2020 by a landslide.
He’ll claim it was rigged and these rage filled chuds will commit an avalanche of domestic terrorism.
@Alexis Filth
Even before the election, if polling is close I worry about some Nazi trying to assassinate the Democratic nominee. Judging from how Trump has acted before, it doesn’t seem at all unlikely for him to actually call for the assassination of his opponent as stochastic terrorism. IIRC he already called at one point for his supporters to kill Hillary during the 2016 election.
I for one welcome our ESTROGEN controlled Killer Robots, who will gladly share their Super Estrogen with those who follow the.. eventually they will turn in not Banksian Culture AIs, who will rule over us, and have awesome hillarious feminist names. And thank us, all women, for finally bringing Space Socialism, in the form of our almost benevolent AI spaceship Rulers.
Estrogen-controlled robots is a new one to me. I always figured the killer robots would be based on the same old silicon and inorganic circuitry we’re used to, but I guess a computer driven by endocrine signaling is theoretically possible.
Maybe Sandman got his inspiration from the traditional version of the song, “Over the Hills and Far Away.” But the song doesn’t mention anything about bringing back shoes and/or sexy slave girls.
Hark now the drums beat up again
For all true soldier gentlemen
So let us list and march I say
And go over the hills and far away
Over the hills, and o’er the main
To Flanders, Portugal and Spain
Queen Anne commands and we’ll obey
And go over the hills and far away.
And we shall live more happy lives
Free of squalling brats and wives
Who nag and vex us every day
So its over the hills and far away.
So he recognizes that stagnant wages are a problem – but he blames women for it and hates socialism. I guess wealthy CEOs and an increasingly corrupt government played no role. Ok then.
@RoyBoy
I’m only familiar with the Nightwish song of the same name, so I was trying to figure out what that had to do with anything. Apparently there’s no relation even though those lyrics still more or less work in the rhythm of the Nightwish song.
Given Sandman’s argument that women are avaricious warmongers, he’s gonna have to define “the best possible women.”
Of the top of my head: Extensive ‘crunch periods’, sometimes through the entire production cycle. Crunch being the name for extensive unpaid overtime (100 hour workweeks for months is apparently not uncommon). This crunch mentality is deemed a normal and necessary part of game development as opposed to a failure in planning (and giving it a cutesy nickname like ‘*insert Company* Magic’).
On top of that, most people working on a game are usually fired en masse once the game is done (usually with the excuse that the profits didn’t live up to expectations, even though the company sold more units than ever before and made more than the previous year).
And then there’s a lot of tech-bro culture and hostility towards female and nonbinary employees. Harassment etc.
I’m not an expert on any of this, this is just what I gathered from following what’s being talked about in some parts the gaming scene (mainly some more socially focused youtube channels).
As for the OP: Sure, let’s ignore all the complex social-economic factors in why nations go to war. It’s all because of ladybutts. How silly of me to think anything else. /sarcasm.
Wait, the ancients had a way of turning women into girls, and even sexy girls, at that?
How and when did our species lose this crucial de-walling technology? Did the wily females start using it to their advantage to fool hapless men out of their hard-earned bonbons to get more fur coats? Did men take it away as part of the compromise where they, (out of the goodness of their noble hearts) gave women the vote? Did Christianity somehow cuck everyone out of it?
Inquiring minds want to know!
@ masse mysteria
It must be a lost technology; like Greek Fire.
@Masse_Mysteria
Forget the hanging gardens of Babylon, this is a true wonder of the ancient world!
@Naglfar
I know! And he just says it like it’s nothing. Must be that superior manly-man brain keeping him calm even at the nubile face of wonders.
(I should probably stop now.)
@Kat:
You could probably construct an Anselm-like ontological argument for the existence of lingerie models.
I’m in slackjawed awe at this bit of rhetorical stupidity:
He so badly needs to “win” this debate, he picks up the goalposts, field, and stadium and moves them into another dimension where they can never be found.
Why in the world would women have robotic armies? For what? I thought the purpose of war was to get away from horrible nagging women in order to collect more women to bring home.
Only the best possible women come running when there’s a sports car or fancy mansion, especially when it’s attached to an awful personality. 100% not gold diggers.
Sporting events take up massive amounts of resources. One NFL game costs, at a minimum, about half a million dollars to produce. All the land that goes towards parking, the staff, the concessions, field maintenance, the electricity that goes towards lighting and sound, the salaries for players and staff (not to mention the toll of the players sacrificing their bodies and brains for entertainment…can’t pin that on women, dude, you’ve just claimed sports as a male-coded purchase). Golf courses use huge amounts of water, fertilizer, and pesticides; there’s an environmental cost there. Car racing: vast amounts of fuel and rubber. And the TV signal: does he think it just emerges out of the air, with no special equipment required to generate it, no camera people or color commentators or signal towers?
Compared to that, a ball of knitting yarn looks cheap and sustainable.
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Of course, the minute any women shows interest in this man because of the assets he bought to capture her interests, he’d probably denounce her as hypergamous.
Every once in a while, I think about taking up knitting. Maybe I should try again.
Well, I’m sure he means most conventionally beautiful/imparting the most social status, but he’s quite obviously overlooking the fact that anyone who is only attracted to someone because of their “giant mansion and fancy cars” will pretty much by definition be a highly materialistic person.
No doubt he believes AWALT, so I doubt he thinks it’s relevant, and it certainly winnows down the pool of “best” women to pretty much include only gold-diggers, which conveniently reinforces his misogyny, so…yeah.