By David Futrelle
Well, here’s a new one, or at least a new variation on an old theme: According to one prolific commenter on Incels dot co, women are responsible for turning men into pedophiles — sorry, ephebophiles — because only underage girls are into weird, incel-looking guys. The proof? The incel making this absurd argument has a 14-year-old female cousin who thinks Adam Driver is hot.
“[T]here exists a whole class of men who cannot attract women their own age as they enter their 20s, yet they remain attractive to girls between the ages of 13-17,” Rassimov wrote in a post on Incels dot co today,
Why? Because they aren’t quite truecel, yet they never develop into traditionally handsome men “real women” crave for. Their youthful looks become a curse when it comes to attracting women past their rebellious teen phases.
His evidence? An informal survey with a sample size of two.
My two female cousins are perfect examples of this transition of preferences; the older one who is almost 19 likes masculine types with buzzed hair, the younger one is 14 and thinks Kylo Ren is the pinnacle of male aesthetics, the older one considers him plain ugly.
Yeah, it’s not as if any adult women are into Adam Driver or Benedict Cumberbatch or any number of other male celebrities who don’t look like the male models with perfectly chiseled faces that incels are convinced that all women exclusively desire.
Rassimov is convinced that it’s only “a matter of time” before both cousins “go Chad only.” According to his logic, the only female human beings incels have a chance with are the ones who aren’t old enough to consent to sex.
Notice how younger teen girls would still have a diverse array of crushes that include “artsy” unconventional types who are skinny, pale men with narrow jaws and unique features, but by the time she’s 20 she cringes at her former crush asking herself “Eww… what was I thinking?”.
Not sure you’re accurately channeling the minds of young women here, chief.
Girls are pretty much basic-bitches by the time they enter their 20s and the only two acceptable standards becomes either; ripped Chad or dad-bod Chad.
In Rassimov’s mind, incels are basically being forced to obsess over girls as young as 13 because no one else will have them. Even if he were right about female tastes — and he’s very definitely not — it’s an appalling argument, just another way these guys are constantly trying to normalize and excuse their obsessive fixation on underage girls.
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I just want to say. I thought Tom Hiddleston was sex on beautiful long legs when I was 14. I think Tom Hiddleston is sex on legs at age 21
Adam Driver with the brain and charisma of Adam Driver is quite attractive. Adam Driver brain swapped with an incel would be repulsive and it has nothing to do with his facial features. I was about to say it would be the same for an Incel swapped with when I realised that almost all examples of famous male crushbait are kind of odd looking, and unlikely to be recognised as Chad material by incels. This is why they’re still banging on about Brad Pitt.
(Chris Hemsworth possibly, but I don’t think he could carry it off if he wasn’t a comic actor. He doesn’t get half the rabid devotion of Cumberbatch or Driver. Chris Evans, maybee?)
@Mogwitch
Maybe…it’s not about the shape of the jaw after all, but about whether someone is talented and with a good personality. Just a hunch.
Fun fact: “I don’t think adult women would bother with my creepy ass” is not, in fact, a good justification to prey on and abuse children.
Hello, I am 33 years old and I think Ron Perlman is a snack. I wouldn’t push Driver or Cumberbatch out of my bed either. Thank you and goodnight.
Never got the Adam Driver thing, but I do like Adam Scott, who is real life handsome but not Hollywood type hot and I like Chris Corner AKA IAMX who is scrawny and dresses androgynously (at least while performing).
Also, celebrity crushes aren’t actually indicative of who a person actually dates or has sex with. I had a hook up with a Christian Bale lookalike once. Other than that, none of the men I’ve been with look like movie stars. The line about how women only want Bead Pity* is complete bullshit.
*That’s how my phone decided to spell Brad Pitt and it’s funny, so it stays.
Hoo boy. Maybe (probably) I’m an outlier, but I was into dudes like Adam Driver when I was 16 and continue to be into them at 40. Also, even as fan of big-nosed, big-eyed, floppy-haired guys, I can recognize that Adam Driver is appealing to a broader audience, as a person’s attractiveness is far more than the sum of their facial features. Of course, that concept is entirely foreign to incels, who judge everybody and everything as the sum of their parts based on arbitrary desirability scores.
I always get Adam Driver mixed up with Keanu Reeves. (shrug)
Thankfully, I never get incels mixed up with guys even cringey-ass Younger Me would have thought were hot.
@Lainy:
That is because Tom Hiddleston is, in fact, sex on legs. I prefer my men older and am nearly twenty years older than he–but I would never kick him out of bed, for eating crackers or much of anything else.
@Bina
Incels probably like Keanu. He was the first one to take the red pill.
Adam Driver is indeed hot.
Also hot in my book: Tom Hiddleston. Orlando Bloom. Daniel Gildenlow. Sean Brennan. Oh, I used to think David Bowie was gorgeous, but his being a child rapist kind of ruined that forever.
Point being
a) There’s a lot of room for men to be stupidly hot without conforming to some rip-roaring manly-man concept of bodily form
b) Don’t blame women for patriarchal policing of male bodies and presentation, it’s not us setting those bullshit standards
c) Nothing ruins the effect of physical beauty quite like being a goddamn creep.
@Naglfar
groan
That would be disgustingly ironic considering he’s one one of the less creepy male actors out there, TBH.
These guys have NO idea. I don’t know if you guys would know the British tv program Poldark (it was a massive deal in the UK) but the ladies I know fancy both the chadish Ross while also holding a candle for sweet, skinny Dr Enys and weird evil George. In my early twenties my biggest crushes were Aragorn from LOTR and Tim from the Office. I now have a bad case of oneitis for my husband. Basically preferences are vast and varied and their whole worldview is utter dross.
Primarily fictional men, real women. (And enbys everywhere, but representation is weak.) That’s my pickings.
And my current obsession is a four foot three terrible tubby lad. He’s…certainly not safe, but at least he’s equal opportunity and doesn’t harbor any grudges…
@Cyborgette
Indeed. Most of the men I find most attractive are not the hyper masculine “chad” ones. I have kind of a thing for more effeminate or androgynous looking men.
@WWTH: Adam Scott all the way!!!
Jorge Garcia!!
Y’all are of course correct about the role of talent and personality in male attractiveness.
It is also indisputably true that generally speaking people who identify as straight ladies have varying, wide-ranging tastes in chad.
That being said, Monsieur Rassimov has clearly never seen Adam Driver without a shirt. He should definitely google that right now before he says any more ridiculous things.
Having not only seen Mr. Driver without most of his clothes, but up close and in person, I can attest to the fact that he is incredibly large and fit; all qualities normally attributed to chads. He’d be worth a second look even if he were boring, let alone the charming and funny person that he is.
Congratulations, y’all — been a while since I last did the laughing/dry-heaving combo.
That said, gimme skinny androgynous nerdy peeps, plz — I’m not a fan of Mr. Universe types.
@dashapants
I understand Mr. Driver was in the Marines. (Not an ex-Marine, I also am given to understand there’s no such thing as becoming an ex-Marine once you become a Marine in the first place.) That might have a large part to do with that. And it’s all useful muscle, not just for-show bodybuilder muscle, too. Not that incels probably know or care about the difference.
@Naglfar:
Thankfully, that was just a part he was playing. But how very like them to misinterpret everything about that part.
I should point out that Steve Buscemi and Danny Devito are famously “ugly” celebrities and that both of them – while not particularly lusted after – are almost universally beloved for just being very kind and charismatic people. The lack of even basic effort put into anything by self-declared incels somehow continues to astound me.
@Bina
And to willfully ignore that it was two trans sisters who made it, and that it was about their struggle to realize their inner truth, not about MRA’s self-delusion on their own importance.
Then again, willful ignorance is a lot of their shtick, and Mr. Reeves is likely a much nicer person than they’re ever capable of being.
My first major crush – Gene Wilder. I had posters of him when I was a teen. I do not know the names of these current guys. Life is good. My most recent crush? My mechanic, lol! I’m an old woman. My mechanic is old too.
What the heck is “dad-bod Chad”? I thought Chad by definition was a swole gym rat.
My male celebrity crush has long been David Wenham (although I secretly think Lucas Piazon is the most ridiculously beautiful man I’ve ever seen). I don’t think he registers anywhere on the incel/chad scale. He was at his most chadly when he bulked up for “300”, but usually he plays dorks. Explain that, incels.