By David Futrelle
Hey ladies, if you’re so into EQUALITY why aren’t you asking MEN out on DATES? CHECKMATE FEMINAZIS.
That’s more or less the argument of one apparently lonely Men’s Rights Redditor, who recently posted his plaintive (if also slightly belligerent) complaint on the Men’s Rights subreddit today.
“Every girl knows that guys prefer to [be] asked out,” wrote TC1827, “yet so few will do it cause they can’t get that equality goes both ways.”
“It’s a straight up equality issue,” he added in a comment, “with women being unwilling to give up their privilege.”
Ah yes, the privilege of getting their DMs invaded by horny weirdos bearing dick pics! The privilege of being propositioned on the train while wearing headphones with their nose buried in a book! The privilege of, well, you get the point.
Happily, TC1827 has a solution to the problem, and it just happens to be the same as Jordan Peterson’s.
Bring back socially enforced monogamy so that dating is less about sex and more about a life partnership. And socialize equality from a young age so that each gender has an equal chance of being asked out.
So … bring back a more patriarchal system, then “socialize” boys and girls to act in a less patriarchal way? That’s sure to be a grand success.
Or, I dunno, TC1827 and those who agree with him could go sign up for Bumble, the dating app in which the women have to make the first move for any conversations to happen at all.
Somehow I suspect that TC1827 still wouldn’t get the attention he thinks he deserves.
Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.
We Hunted the Mammoth relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!
Even if he signed up for Bumble, I doubt that very many women would want to talk to him.
I do ask guys out.
These guys don’t think I count as a woman, though, given that I’m fat.
That’s fine, as I don’t date misogynist creeps.
It’s not even just MRAs who do this whine. The reality is, most of these men don’t want women to do the asking. I mean, not all men, of course. But men who aren’t particularly feminism friendly think assertive women are slutty or they only want to be asked out by “10s”
I definitely ask a cute and handsome guy out. I can sometimes be shy but on the other hand sometimes I like to celebrate that I have the confidence to do that by actually doing it. Designing an outfit for the experience boosts my confidence. But I admit I still kind of ask a mutual friend if they think he’s interested beforehand. Maybe that seems like I don’t take risks but I really just want to respect someone’s space.
When I was young and wanted to date, I asked guys out. I realized the guys who asked me out weren’t good matches. I was also called a slut on occasion. Still single and no longer want dates. One of the guys I asked out told me I had a beautiful mind. Then he died, sigh.
Dude, it’s not that women don’t ask men out. It’s that nobody wants to ask you out. Because you’re an asshole, and it shows.
Add: guys who asked me out were usually body builders. I asked guys out because of their comments or questions in class. I’m dinky with a big brain, lol! I had one friend mock me for my lack of taste in appearances. She’s not my friend anymore.
Why do really muscular guys want to date dinky women? Odd question. It troubled me back when I wanted to date.
Speaking as a painfully shy person, I would very much like to be asked out by a woman, but none ever have, because OPPRESSION OF MEN and FEMINISM! Or because I’m a painfully shy person and thus never really talk to people enough for them to think, “Hey, I might want to go out with him”.
No, let’s go with what lets me blame my problems on other people. DOWN WITH FEMINISM! Anything else might suggest *I* might need to change, and who wants that?
It never occurred to them that maybe women don’t ask them out because they aren’t interested in them?
Michael Suttkus II, you sound like a guy I would’ve asked out as a young woman. Old woman here. I too was painfully shy; but asked guys out just the same. Please speak up. I have a terrible stutter. Sometimes speaking matters more than errors. I was a teacher – now I’m a tutor.
Stutters – lol!
@Weirwood
Facts.
As a woman happy to ask out men I like, who are available (and who I think I stand a chance with) I have noticed either they assume I am after sex alone (because assertive women must be slutty – and I don’t see that term as insulting) or they are indignant that the woman is not sufficiently hot enough.
They could of course sign up for Bumble but they don’t want that either.
No idea how they think enforced monogamy will help them unless they think it means being assigned a Victoria’s Secret model.
I also oppress men by being old, fat, tattooed, employed, and existing.
I am older, unemployed, and disabled. I don’t exist.
“Why don’t hot chicks throw themselves at me?”, basically.
I think we’ve just witnessed the MRA/incel convergence, if indeed the two were ever separate.
@Dreamer:
You’re right, it IS odd. Not so much the question, though, as the answer. I think these guys are not-so-secretly domineering, and they’re looking for an easy mark. They’re as insecure as they are massive. Maybe they’re massive because they’re insecure. I do notice they don’t gravitate much to me, since I’m on the taller side of average height, and fairly big-boned. I take after my late dad and tend to gain weight mainly as muscle, with very little effort. It’s a great asshole repellent, although it does tend to thin the herd considerably where prospective dates are concerned. The idea that a woman could take these guys on and it would be a fair fight (or close to it) makes them squirmy.
Not that I care at all, as insecure assholes of any shape or size are most definitely Not My Type.
I call it the doll fetish. I’m really thin,short and petit. I can still fit into large child sizes of clothes pretty well. Like for pants. Not really shirts cause my breast are very large but I have dated guys that are like this and will constantly talk about how small I am, how delicate my hands are, constantly comparing out loud how much bigger their bodies are from mine. It becomes a very huge turn off very quickly because while I may like being submissive in the bedroom I do not have a passive and delicate personallity that they would keep trying to throw on me because of mu body type. I know I am smaller and weaker then even the average size white woman. I know that if most men wanted to they could actually pick me up and throw me against a wall. I don’t need a constant reminder how weak my meat suit is and how vulnerable in the world i am.
Well, let’s be generous for the sake of a thought experiment and say that indeed women should ask their partner more often then they do now. The problem though is if you aren’t asking people to date you, you must basically entice those people to ask you out and that can be a lot of work. I would be very surprised if that man was down with spending the time, effort and money necessary to be good at enticing the people he wants to entice. I also doubt he would be willing to deal with the unintented consequences of such a practice like having to deal with the people that have been enticed but aren’t interesting to him.
Yes, because when looking for a partner for life, women are certainly less likely to pass an unstable misogynistic loser than if they were just looking for a one-night-stand…
Oh wait, that makes no sense at all!
Of course, what they really mean is that they want women to be so desperate to get together with someone, anyone, that they are willing to settle even for misogynistic losers.
Shows how insecure they are. I do not want a wife who marries me because I am “better than nothing” and stays with me because she has nowhere else to go. No, I long to find a kindred spirit who marries, has children with, and stays with me till the bitter end because she wants me, because she loves me, because she chose me.
Furthermore, no matter how much they are hysteric/fantasise about a all women having the sex life of a porn character, there are still a lot of women that are looking for a life partner. But, as I said, most of them would never consider manospherians because unstable misogynistic losers are about the least suitable people for a happy and stable marriage.
I think an internet friend of mine said it best:
– Just Along For The Ride
I do think it’s amazing that one man doesn’t get asked out on dates & he assumes that ALL MEN don’t get asked out on dates. & it’s because of feminism & all that. Not his own sterling personality.
The “About” paragraph for the Men’s Rights subreddit:
Shorter & clearer:
A man’s right to sex with beautiful women can turn out to be an illusion if they perceive him as a jerk.
Discuss the unfairness of this.
This is the “About” paragraph for the Men’s Rights subreddit:
Shorter & clearer:
A man’s right to have sex with beautiful women can turn out to be an illusion if they perceive him as a jerk.
Discuss the unfairness of this.
I guess this is a bit relevant:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/nov/05/pickup-artists-teaching-men-approach-women-industry-street-harassment
I’m not sure that these guys fantasize about only 10s along them out. A lot of what motivates these bozos doesn’t seem to be sex or relationships themselves, but the social validation that they anticipate receiving from other dudes after demonstrating their manilness and desirability.
It wouldn’t surprise me if these dudes also fantasized about being asked out by less conventionally attractive women, and then being able to publically reject and mock/berate her for daring to think that she might be worthy of his attention. That would suit their desires both for male validation and being able to hurt women.
I used to ask guys out.
I have been told that I’m pretty good looking. You’d think that this would work in my favor in approaching, but haha! Joke’s on both of us! When I approached guys, I would get 1 of about 3 possible reactions.
1) they thought I was a prostitute trying to get their money and flipped out.
2) they thought because I am good looking there must be something wrong with me to be single and not just sitting eating bonbons or whatever, and flipped out
3) they think that in order for me to be approaching them, they must be just so incredibly captivating and I must be obsessed with them, and flipped out.
Come on, dudes, I’m just trying to get laid like the rest of you!