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Is Jordan Peterson fan art a sign of the impending apocalypse?

Yes, that’s supposed to be Peterson

By David Futrelle

Some public intellectuals are so public that they inspire entire mini-genres of memes. One can find innumerable memes featuring the indomitable Marxist philosopher and hot dog fan Slavoj Zizek, left icon Noam Chomsky, and panopticon theorist Michel Foucault; even someone as seemingly memeproof as Susan Sontag has inspired a few. Lesser intellects like antifeminist think-tanker Christina Hoff Sommers and wannabe thinker Ben Shapiro have somehow inspired memes of their own.

Then there’s Jordan Peterson. The reactionary Canadian fussbudget psychologist has inspired more than his fair share of memes, of course. But he also inspires something more: actual fan art — paintings and drawings that have been fussed over for hours.

Some are near-photo-realistic portraits, skillfully done if not terribly original — most are copied or traced directly from photos circulating online. Though done with love and a great deal of earnestness, they’re not always what you might call flattering to Dr. P. (Click on any of the pics below to see the full-sized originals.)

The further they get from their photo originals, the weirder they become. This guy almost gets the head right, but he seems to have used a package of hot dogs as his reference for Dr. P’s fingers.

I don’t know what this guy was thinking; he’s clearly got some technical skills but the results don’t look much like Dr. P or anyone else in particular.

This alleged portrait of the not-so-good doctor looks more like a black velvet painting of some rockabilly artist no one’s ever heard of.

Here Dr. P looks a bit like a startled deer.

Here he looks about 14 years old:

The proportions in this one are so far off I can only conclude it was drawn while looking in a funhouse mirror.

Oh, they get weirder.

https://twitter.com/baxbooksdeux/status/1020073266323394561

… and even weirder than that.

In case you’re really taken with Zombie Peterson here, you can buy an 28″ by 28″ art print of him for the low, low price of $53.99 — reduced to $37.79 if you act by midnight tonight!!!1!!

But the strangest bit of Peterson fan art I’ve seen thus far has to be anime Peterson, complete with the requisite huge eyes and hair that seems to have been borrowed from Milo Yiannopoulos.

It’s the kind of art that makes you ask yourself WHY WHY WHY?

Look, I understand why people do fan art — if you’ve got the talent (and even if you don’t) it’s fun to draw pics of your pop star idols or your favorite characters from a show you love. It’s possible that when I was in college I might have drawn/traced pics of Prince and Adam Ant because, I dunno, I liked their music and thought they looked cool. But I was never tempted to draw pictures of my intellectual idols, who were decidedly less glamorous and, more importantly, it just would have seemed wrong somehow, at odds with the sort of skepticism and critical thinking that they promoted.

Drawing glamorized pictures of Jordan Peterson seems even more wrong. Idolized as a Great Thinker for our age, he’s actually a ponderous lightweight offering little more than reheated Jung mixed with assorted reactionary bromides. When he moves beyond the trite — “Clean your room” — he can barely write a coherent sentence to save his life. He’s a misogynist and a transphobe and a dietary crank.

Yes, I made fun of most of these pictures. But I’m much less bothered by the assorted artistic failures on display here than I am by the fact that these drawings exist at all. Peterson doesn’t deserve fans, much less fan art. Find someone or something better to draw. Might I suggest kitties?

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Nequam
Nequam
1 year ago

Well, at least it’s not erotic fan art.

Aron
Aron
1 year ago

Puppies > kitties

Also, I’m going to guess there is PLENTY of Rule 34 for Lobsterboy.

ObSidJag
ObSidJag
1 year ago

@Aron:

Rule 34 for Lobsterboy

–BLEAH!!!
Please don’t suggest something like that (true though it may be) unless you’ve got copious amounts of brain bleach you’re willing to share–just…ugh…not just “no,” but “HELL, NO.”

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Aron
For sure. I’m not going looking, but I know it’s there.

Wait…has nobody drawn JP as an anthropomorphic lobster? I hate him as much as the next commenter, but this needs to be a thing.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

I am so disappointed by the lack of erotic fan art. When I saw fan art I was expecting something more exciting. Internet you have let me down greatly.

Bina
1 year ago

Has nobody drawn JordyPete in that silly gangster get-up from his brief appearance on TVO?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWsxFKF__is

Because that one has me DEAD, y’all.

Fabe
Fabe
1 year ago

whats with peterson and lobsters ?

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
1 year ago

Peterson and his daughter published a book about their all meat diet and how it can cure stuff.

Can’t post amazon link for some reason.

Fabe
Fabe
1 year ago

OK, and how does a all meat diet relate to lobsters?

Weasel-Rah
Weasel-Rah
1 year ago

Lobsters follow a “biggest male beats up smaller males and gets the females” reproductive strategy. Which is the one Peterson thinks humans should follow, because it gives him the pantsfeelings, I guess.
He does not seem to endorse the part where the females have a thousand babies at a time and abandon them to be eaten by predators, though.

Kevin
Kevin
1 year ago

Is there any lampooning/satirical JP art at all? An anthropomorphic lobster might only be the start.

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

Honest fan art of JP would depict him leading a horde of sea lions.

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

@Kevin:

Is there any lampooning/satirical JP art at all? An anthropomorphic lobster might only be the start.

Well, there was that comic from Michael Kupperman which I linked to a while back:

https://thenib.com/an-interview-with-professor-jordan-peterson

Kevin
Kevin
1 year ago

@ Moggie

Thanks. Maybe there’s even a rich vein of JP satire out there that we haven’t encountered yet.

gijoel
gijoel
1 year ago

The 7th pic reminds me of something.

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
1 year ago

@Fabe: Just because my comment appears directly below yours does not reply it is in response to your comment.

Ash
Ash
1 year ago

Wow, this article has no bias at all lol. I really do think you are taking everything he says out of context. Have you ever watched one of his videos or do you just believe what your friends say?

TheKND
TheKND
1 year ago

They are so desperate to capture what they perceive as “intellectual intensity” (which in Peterson’s case always looks like medium indigestion from eating meat without spices), he never looks like himself.
On a related note. I recently did some research on Jung’s relationship with Sigmund Freud and OH GOD, the man has been white washed beyond belief. Like, Jung was so ungodly anti-semitic and openly hateful towards everyone non-Germanic, it was almost hilarious. And if you take a closer look at his “archetypes”, you see that this existentialist worldview just engenders all that vicious hatred for the other.
So, while I get that Freud was neither ethical in his research, nor scientific, his idea of first listening was revolutionary. Why the fuck is Jung even still a thing?

Linus Engberg
Linus Engberg
1 year ago

Each day we stray further from God

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Moggie
That comic is great. Manages to combine a bunch of the dumbest JP ideas into one humorous story.

@TheKND

which in Peterson’s case always looks like medium indigestion from eating meat without spices

Also constipation. I imagine an all meat diet has some interesting effects on bowels.

Why the fuck is Jung even still a thing?

Probably because old white dudes like JP are obsessed with him because they think “he was hateful, and he was a psychologist. Therefore, my hate is scientific!”

@Fabe
Weasel-Rah sums it up pretty accurately, but the thing that really sticks out to me about the lobster thing is Jordan’s justification. He claims that they diverged from us millions of years ago, therefore what they do is a base instinct. This is obviously not how evolution works, but that doesn’t stop him.
I want someone to confront him about bonobos, which are much closer related to us and have a matriarchy. I think his head might explode.

Batgirl
Batgirl
1 year ago

The cartoon from Geopolitical Fiend makes Peterson look like the villain in a John Constantine comic.

I’m fairly certain Constantine would call him a wanker, too. I’d read that little one-off strip.

Mrs. Obed Marsh
Mrs. Obed Marsh
1 year ago

About the lobster thing: JBP isn’t saying we should organize our society like the lobsters do, he’s simply trying to shut down criticism of Western hierarchies. Hierarchies are natural, he is saying, so trying to replace patriarchy, capitalism, etc. with more horizontal systems is unnatural and therefore bad.

At least, that’s how I understand it. JBP is fond of making vague noises about how we should embrace authoritarian ideas – for example, he’ll talk about how we need “enforced monogamy” without saying anything about how monogamy would be “enforced” – then getting huffy at people for inferring he’s an authoritarian. He’s really a very bad communicator.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Mrs. Obed Marsh

At least, that’s how I understand it. JBP is fond of making vague noises about how we should embrace authoritarian ideas – for example, he’ll talk about how we need “enforced monogamy” without saying anything about how monogamy would be “enforced” – then getting huffy at people for inferring he’s an authoritarian. He’s really a very bad communicator.

I think the vagueness is intentional. He wants to be vague enough that he has plausible deniability whenever anyone takes him to task for being an authoritarian/fascist/Nazi.

Katamount
1 year ago

*sigh* Of all the frankly brilliant people that have laboured at my cherished alma mater… this is the assclown that gets the fanart.

Not Ursula Franklin. Not John Charles Polanyi. Hell, Rick Salutin is the kind of contrarian who’s begging to have chintzy fanart done of him.

But no, they pick Kermit the Fraud as their internet dad. You know,

But on the topic of Rule34, Lobsters and Jung…

Content warning: erotic weirdness

I guess I’ll start with the less weird thing. Anybody seen Isabella Rossellini’s Green Porno series, where she playfully dresses up in costume as various animals and playacts their reproductive processes? It’s education, funny and off-putting all at once! Definitely worth checking out the snail one.

The more weird thing tangentially involves Jung. My internet gallivanting once brought me to a porno comic by Spanish artist Raulo Cacares titled Agua Calientes (Hot Water) about a buxom sex-loving Jungian Psychology professor who travels to a rural town looking for her former lover/student/less-buxom Psychology Professor after the latter suddenly goes missing. Hijinks ensue as the chesty protagonist navigates a bizarre series of adventures involving a serial-killing mountain woman, a Demeter-worshipping cult, military experiments, six-fingered extra-terrestrials, a strange bacteria that makes people sex-obsessed, a black metal folk band that performs sex acts on stage, a reclusive goatman and somehow Jung comes into all that.

I’ve never been able to find an English translation, so maybe the plot has some coherence, but… if nothing else, Raulo’s artwork is reeeeallly good. Disturbing, but good.

Certainly stuck in my brain if nothing else.

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
1 year ago

Some Redditors are disillusioned with Peterson for allowing his daughter to date a black man. Also, she Instagrammed herself posing in her underwear in front of her toddler, which is an unforgivable sin, apparently. They’re about to turn on their lobster messiah.

Aron
Aron
1 year ago

@Katamount I saw ‘Green Porno’ live in Boston about five years ago. It was one of the greatest performances I have ever seen.

She is a goddess.

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

@gijoel:

The 7th pic reminds me of something.

Yes! That’s the first thing I thought of!

Well, actually I thought of the literal version, because pipe wrench fight.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
1 year ago

@Nequam

Well, at least it’s not erotic fan art.

Great, now I can’t get the thought out of my head. Not cool man.

@Lainy

I am so disappointed by the lack of erotic fan art.

https://imgur.com/B0fdcaY

(can somebody tell me the codes for inserting pics? I have desperate need of them)

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
1 year ago

@Diego – Just make sure the link you post ends in an image format. So, this:

comment image

is the exactly the same, but with .gif

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 year ago

@Diego Duarte:
To insert an image, just typing in the URL should work, but it should be only http and not https, it needs to end with .gif, .jpg, or .png, and it should be on a line of its own. So http://i.imgur.com/B0fdcaY.gif should work:

http://i.imgur.com/B0fdcaY.gif

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@LindsayIrene

They’re about to turn on their lobster messiah.

And not a moment too soon. Hopefully soon he goes back to being a nobody. I’m sick of hearing about him.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
1 year ago

@Jenora and Rhuu

Thank you!

@Moggie

Honest fan art of JP would depict him leading a horde of sea lions.

comment image

Ahmed Omani
Ahmed Omani
1 year ago

“I don’t like Star Wars, so please stop drawing fan art of it.”

This is how you sound right now.

Weasel-Rah
Weasel-Rah
1 year ago

The “pure instinct” justification for hierarchies is still cherry picking nonsense.
Other animals who are millions of years old: ants and bees, matriarchal, communal organisms with disposable males. . Some squids/cuttlefish have two types of males, a large, aggressive one who fights other large, aggressive males, and a “pseudo female” male who looks like and socializes with the females. The females reproduce with both types.
And that’s not even getting into anglerfish or mantises. Even among the famously aggressive chimpanzees, the whole idea of the alpha male was turned upside down when the researchers began dna testing among studied troops and discovered that the babies were often not fathered by the big brute who makes all the noise, but by other, “subordinate” males who treat the females better.

Grace of Spades
Grace of Spades
1 year ago

With the hands in pic 2, I’m always going to think of him as Dickfingers Peterson.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
1 year ago

In addition to that, there’s thousand of example where animal instinct isn’t the best possible behavior. Some predator exploit the predictability of the flight reflex on their prey to make them “flee” directly toward them, for example. And panic-induced trample in human often massively increase body count in fires and catastrophes.

So any attempt at saying “we should follow our instinct” should at least demonstrate that’s it’s not worse than current behavior.

Weasel-Rah
Weasel-Rah
1 year ago

That, and frankly, if it was instinct, we would already be doing it.

I have severe doubts about how devoted Peterson would be to his ideas of hierarchy if say, Dwayne Johnson showed up at his door asking his wife for a date.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Weasel-Rah

I have severe doubts about how devoted Peterson would be to his ideas of hierarchy if say, Dwayne Johnson showed up at his door asking his wife for a date.

But but but, Jordan’s a Nice Guy&trade, so Dwayne shouldn’t take his wife. He’s a hard-working beta who deserves a wife. /s

Betrayer
Betrayer
1 year ago

Most species of lobsters don’t behave the way JP claims, the guy is a complete pseudointellectual hack.

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
1 year ago

Isn’t the reason that he chose lobsters is because they share a neuro chemical we have?

Or, at least, one of the reasons he chose them. According to this article, it’s serotonin.

And what always confused me is that serotonin isn’t an uncommon thing, AFAIK?????

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Rhuu

And what always confused me is that serotonin isn’t an uncommon thing, AFAIK?????

You are correct. It’s found in basically every animal more complex than a jellyfish, and some plants and fungi (though for a different purpose). I want JP to try to explain how mushroom hierarchies show us anything about how to run society.

@Ash

I really do think you are taking everything he says out of context. Have you ever watched one of his videos or do you just believe what your friends say?

Unfortunately, I have watched some of his videos. Jordan Peterson is an idiot who is bigoted in so many ways. If anyone actually looks to him as a role model or inspiration, that is just sad. There’s really no context that makes his shit any better.

Shadow
Shadow
1 year ago

Wow, this article has no bias at all lol. I really do think you are taking everything he says out of context. Have you ever watched one of his videos or do you just believe what your friends say?

Damn, right on schedule. Say what you want about JP, but say least his trains run on time!

Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

Told you, dude. Sea lions.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 year ago

There’s also the fact that, quite bluntly, he rose to prominence by flat-out lying and fear-mongering about a minor change to the Canadian Human Rights Code. He said it was going to criminalize the use of the ‘wrong’ pronouns. In practice, all it really means is that if you’re harassing somebody and deliberately using the wrong pronouns is part of how you do it, it can be treated as a more serious crime. It’s still as difficult to prove as harassment usually is.

I ended up in a rather heated discussion with a couple of old friends about this at one point. One had been listening to Peterson, and hadn’t engaged critical thinking facilities yet. Between myself with some (admittedly minor) understanding of how the law actually works, and the other friend who was ex-military, transitioning, and had pulled up and read the exact wording of the change in question, we managed to get him to stop trying to convince us that Peterson was right.

(No idea how deep it really sank in, but this friend was more the ‘catches bits of pop philosophy every so often and tends to not think about them too critically’ type rather than the ‘personal self-image invested in the status quo’ type, and we’re still on speaking terms, so I like to think we’re good.)

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Ahmed,

Can you please point out where exactly David told anyone to stop making Peterson fan art? I mean, he did suggest drawing kitties instead, but he’s not going and harassing the artists or anything.

Also, the difference between this and Star Wars fan art is that Star Wars isn’t misogynistic and transphobic and Star Wars is way cooler than Jordan Peterson. I’d even rather sit through the Jar-Jar Binks scenes in Phantom Menace again then try to sit through a Jordan Peterson video. Much less obnoxious and long winded.

Weasel-Rah
Weasel-Rah
1 year ago

Ash, you can find the man inspirational if you like, but be honest with yourself. All the good parts of his advice are things your mommy already told you when you were five.

Rodd
Rodd
1 year ago

Your article says a lot more about you than about Dr. Peterson. It’s also incredibly puerile to level insults without any supporting evidence.

An Impish Pepper
An Impish Pepper
1 year ago

I was moderately disappointed once with a law student that I know. He was passionate about certain human rights issues and I thought maybe he was all right. But then he started describing how the people he works with are usually much more liberal than him. Eventually he started talking about Jordan Peterson and trying to give a nuanced defense. This is a law student and he of all people should know better.

A. Noyd
A. Noyd
1 year ago

For anyone who hasn’t yet seen Ian Danskin’s recent video on “How to Radicalize a Normie” yet, it might be worth a watch before engaging with the Peterson stans who are showing up here. In particular, it addresses why the incoherence of Peterson’s messages don’t faze them and how that connects with their fixation on getting others to watch his videos and read his books.

A. Noyd
A. Noyd
1 year ago

weirwoodtreehugger says:

Also, the difference between this and Star Wars fan art is that Star Wars isn’t misogynistic and transphobic and Star Wars is way cooler than Jordan Peterson.

The bigger difference is that Star Wars is a work of fiction while Peterson is a creator of fiction. So a more appropriate analogy on Ahmed’s part would be asking people to stop making fan art of George Lucas.

Though, there’s still the issue of how Lucas is at least honest his works are fiction while Peterson pretends he’s generating facts. Really, it’s more akin to Chairman Mao iconography if anything.