By David Futrelle
Some public intellectuals are so public that they inspire entire mini-genres of memes. One can find innumerable memes featuring the indomitable Marxist philosopher and hot dog fan Slavoj Zizek, left icon Noam Chomsky, and panopticon theorist Michel Foucault; even someone as seemingly memeproof as Susan Sontag has inspired a few. Lesser intellects like antifeminist think-tanker Christina Hoff Sommers and wannabe thinker Ben Shapiro have somehow inspired memes of their own.
Then there’s Jordan Peterson. The reactionary Canadian fussbudget psychologist has inspired more than his fair share of memes, of course. But he also inspires something more: actual fan art — paintings and drawings that have been fussed over for hours.
Some are near-photo-realistic portraits, skillfully done if not terribly original — most are copied or traced directly from photos circulating online. Though done with love and a great deal of earnestness, they’re not always what you might call flattering to Dr. P. (Click on any of the pics below to see the full-sized originals.)
The further they get from their photo originals, the weirder they become. This guy almost gets the head right, but he seems to have used a package of hot dogs as his reference for Dr. P’s fingers.
I don’t know what this guy was thinking; he’s clearly got some technical skills but the results don’t look much like Dr. P or anyone else in particular.
This alleged portrait of the not-so-good doctor looks more like a black velvet painting of some rockabilly artist no one’s ever heard of.
Here Dr. P looks a bit like a startled deer.
Here he looks about 14 years old:
The proportions in this one are so far off I can only conclude it was drawn while looking in a funhouse mirror.
Oh, they get weirder.
… and even weirder than that.
In case you’re really taken with Zombie Peterson here, you can buy an 28″ by 28″ art print of him for the low, low price of $53.99 — reduced to $37.79 if you act by midnight tonight!!!1!!
But the strangest bit of Peterson fan art I’ve seen thus far has to be anime Peterson, complete with the requisite huge eyes and hair that seems to have been borrowed from Milo Yiannopoulos.
It’s the kind of art that makes you ask yourself WHY WHY WHY?
Look, I understand why people do fan art — if you’ve got the talent (and even if you don’t) it’s fun to draw pics of your pop star idols or your favorite characters from a show you love. It’s possible that when I was in college I might have drawn/traced pics of Prince and Adam Ant because, I dunno, I liked their music and thought they looked cool. But I was never tempted to draw pictures of my intellectual idols, who were decidedly less glamorous and, more importantly, it just would have seemed wrong somehow, at odds with the sort of skepticism and critical thinking that they promoted.
Drawing glamorized pictures of Jordan Peterson seems even more wrong. Idolized as a Great Thinker for our age, he’s actually a ponderous lightweight offering little more than reheated Jung mixed with assorted reactionary bromides. When he moves beyond the trite — “Clean your room” — he can barely write a coherent sentence to save his life. He’s a misogynist and a transphobe and a dietary crank.
Yes, I made fun of most of these pictures. But I’m much less bothered by the assorted artistic failures on display here than I am by the fact that these drawings exist at all. Peterson doesn’t deserve fans, much less fan art. Find someone or something better to draw. Might I suggest kitties?
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Well, at least it’s not erotic fan art.
Puppies > kitties
Also, I’m going to guess there is PLENTY of Rule 34 for Lobsterboy.
@Aron:
–BLEAH!!!
Please don’t suggest something like that (true though it may be) unless you’ve got copious amounts of brain bleach you’re willing to share–just…ugh…not just “no,” but “HELL, NO.”
@Aron
For sure. I’m not going looking, but I know it’s there.
Wait…has nobody drawn JP as an anthropomorphic lobster? I hate him as much as the next commenter, but this needs to be a thing.
I am so disappointed by the lack of erotic fan art. When I saw fan art I was expecting something more exciting. Internet you have let me down greatly.
Has nobody drawn JordyPete in that silly gangster get-up from his brief appearance on TVO?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWsxFKF__is
Because that one has me DEAD, y’all.
whats with peterson and lobsters ?
Peterson and his daughter published a book about their all meat diet and how it can cure stuff.
Can’t post amazon link for some reason.
OK, and how does a all meat diet relate to lobsters?
Lobsters follow a “biggest male beats up smaller males and gets the females” reproductive strategy. Which is the one Peterson thinks humans should follow, because it gives him the pantsfeelings, I guess.
He does not seem to endorse the part where the females have a thousand babies at a time and abandon them to be eaten by predators, though.
Is there any lampooning/satirical JP art at all? An anthropomorphic lobster might only be the start.
Honest fan art of JP would depict him leading a horde of sea lions.
@Kevin:
Well, there was that comic from Michael Kupperman which I linked to a while back:
https://thenib.com/an-interview-with-professor-jordan-peterson
@ Moggie
Thanks. Maybe there’s even a rich vein of JP satire out there that we haven’t encountered yet.
The 7th pic reminds me of something.
@Fabe: Just because my comment appears directly below yours does not reply it is in response to your comment.
Wow, this article has no bias at all lol. I really do think you are taking everything he says out of context. Have you ever watched one of his videos or do you just believe what your friends say?
They are so desperate to capture what they perceive as “intellectual intensity” (which in Peterson’s case always looks like medium indigestion from eating meat without spices), he never looks like himself.
On a related note. I recently did some research on Jung’s relationship with Sigmund Freud and OH GOD, the man has been white washed beyond belief. Like, Jung was so ungodly anti-semitic and openly hateful towards everyone non-Germanic, it was almost hilarious. And if you take a closer look at his “archetypes”, you see that this existentialist worldview just engenders all that vicious hatred for the other.
So, while I get that Freud was neither ethical in his research, nor scientific, his idea of first listening was revolutionary. Why the fuck is Jung even still a thing?
Each day we stray further from God
@Moggie
That comic is great. Manages to combine a bunch of the dumbest JP ideas into one humorous story.
@TheKND
Also constipation. I imagine an all meat diet has some interesting effects on bowels.
Probably because old white dudes like JP are obsessed with him because they think “he was hateful, and he was a psychologist. Therefore, my hate is scientific!”
@Fabe
Weasel-Rah sums it up pretty accurately, but the thing that really sticks out to me about the lobster thing is Jordan’s justification. He claims that they diverged from us millions of years ago, therefore what they do is a base instinct. This is obviously not how evolution works, but that doesn’t stop him.
I want someone to confront him about bonobos, which are much closer related to us and have a matriarchy. I think his head might explode.
The cartoon from Geopolitical Fiend makes Peterson look like the villain in a John Constantine comic.
I’m fairly certain Constantine would call him a wanker, too. I’d read that little one-off strip.
About the lobster thing: JBP isn’t saying we should organize our society like the lobsters do, he’s simply trying to shut down criticism of Western hierarchies. Hierarchies are natural, he is saying, so trying to replace patriarchy, capitalism, etc. with more horizontal systems is unnatural and therefore bad.
At least, that’s how I understand it. JBP is fond of making vague noises about how we should embrace authoritarian ideas – for example, he’ll talk about how we need “enforced monogamy” without saying anything about how monogamy would be “enforced” – then getting huffy at people for inferring he’s an authoritarian. He’s really a very bad communicator.
@Mrs. Obed Marsh
I think the vagueness is intentional. He wants to be vague enough that he has plausible deniability whenever anyone takes him to task for being an authoritarian/fascist/Nazi.
*sigh* Of all the frankly brilliant people that have laboured at my cherished alma mater… this is the assclown that gets the fanart.
Not Ursula Franklin. Not John Charles Polanyi. Hell, Rick Salutin is the kind of contrarian who’s begging to have chintzy fanart done of him.
But no, they pick Kermit the Fraud as their internet dad. You know,
But on the topic of Rule34, Lobsters and Jung…
Content warning: erotic weirdness
I guess I’ll start with the less weird thing. Anybody seen Isabella Rossellini’s Green Porno series, where she playfully dresses up in costume as various animals and playacts their reproductive processes? It’s education, funny and off-putting all at once! Definitely worth checking out the snail one.
The more weird thing tangentially involves Jung. My internet gallivanting once brought me to a porno comic by Spanish artist Raulo Cacares titled Agua Calientes (Hot Water) about a buxom sex-loving Jungian Psychology professor who travels to a rural town looking for her former lover/student/less-buxom Psychology Professor after the latter suddenly goes missing. Hijinks ensue as the chesty protagonist navigates a bizarre series of adventures involving a serial-killing mountain woman, a Demeter-worshipping cult, military experiments, six-fingered extra-terrestrials, a strange bacteria that makes people sex-obsessed, a black metal folk band that performs sex acts on stage, a reclusive goatman and somehow Jung comes into all that.
I’ve never been able to find an English translation, so maybe the plot has some coherence, but… if nothing else, Raulo’s artwork is reeeeallly good. Disturbing, but good.
Certainly stuck in my brain if nothing else.
Some Redditors are disillusioned with Peterson for allowing his daughter to date a black man. Also, she Instagrammed herself posing in her underwear in front of her toddler, which is an unforgivable sin, apparently. They’re about to turn on their lobster messiah.