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Is Jordan Peterson fan art a sign of the impending apocalypse?

Yes, that’s supposed to be Peterson

By David Futrelle

Some public intellectuals are so public that they inspire entire mini-genres of memes. One can find innumerable memes featuring the indomitable Marxist philosopher and hot dog fan Slavoj Zizek, left icon Noam Chomsky, and panopticon theorist Michel Foucault; even someone as seemingly memeproof as Susan Sontag has inspired a few. Lesser intellects like antifeminist think-tanker Christina Hoff Sommers and wannabe thinker Ben Shapiro have somehow inspired memes of their own.

Then there’s Jordan Peterson. The reactionary Canadian fussbudget psychologist has inspired more than his fair share of memes, of course. But he also inspires something more: actual fan art — paintings and drawings that have been fussed over for hours.

Some are near-photo-realistic portraits, skillfully done if not terribly original — most are copied or traced directly from photos circulating online. Though done with love and a great deal of earnestness, they’re not always what you might call flattering to Dr. P. (Click on any of the pics below to see the full-sized originals.)

The further they get from their photo originals, the weirder they become. This guy almost gets the head right, but he seems to have used a package of hot dogs as his reference for Dr. P’s fingers.

I don’t know what this guy was thinking; he’s clearly got some technical skills but the results don’t look much like Dr. P or anyone else in particular.

This alleged portrait of the not-so-good doctor looks more like a black velvet painting of some rockabilly artist no one’s ever heard of.

Here Dr. P looks a bit like a startled deer.

Here he looks about 14 years old:

The proportions in this one are so far off I can only conclude it was drawn while looking in a funhouse mirror.

Oh, they get weirder.

https://twitter.com/baxbooksdeux/status/1020073266323394561

… and even weirder than that.

In case you’re really taken with Zombie Peterson here, you can buy an 28″ by 28″ art print of him for the low, low price of $53.99 — reduced to $37.79 if you act by midnight tonight!!!1!!

But the strangest bit of Peterson fan art I’ve seen thus far has to be anime Peterson, complete with the requisite huge eyes and hair that seems to have been borrowed from Milo Yiannopoulos.

It’s the kind of art that makes you ask yourself WHY WHY WHY?

Look, I understand why people do fan art — if you’ve got the talent (and even if you don’t) it’s fun to draw pics of your pop star idols or your favorite characters from a show you love. It’s possible that when I was in college I might have drawn/traced pics of Prince and Adam Ant because, I dunno, I liked their music and thought they looked cool. But I was never tempted to draw pictures of my intellectual idols, who were decidedly less glamorous and, more importantly, it just would have seemed wrong somehow, at odds with the sort of skepticism and critical thinking that they promoted.

Drawing glamorized pictures of Jordan Peterson seems even more wrong. Idolized as a Great Thinker for our age, he’s actually a ponderous lightweight offering little more than reheated Jung mixed with assorted reactionary bromides. When he moves beyond the trite — “Clean your room” — he can barely write a coherent sentence to save his life. He’s a misogynist and a transphobe and a dietary crank.

Yes, I made fun of most of these pictures. But I’m much less bothered by the assorted artistic failures on display here than I am by the fact that these drawings exist at all. Peterson doesn’t deserve fans, much less fan art. Find someone or something better to draw. Might I suggest kitties?

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Matti Kontinen
Matti Kontinen
1 year ago

This place is a very negative echo chamber of bad thoughts, and bad intentions. I feel very sorry for all of you who are so hell bent demonising a person whose ideas you disagree with.

Is it not enough that the people who made these drawings and paintings did so because they wanted to try and express something meaningful for themselves?

Do you not think that if a person puts so much effort to try and express something about what this individual means to them, regardless their technical ability, that their actions have merit in spite of the judgement of others. These people had at least the courage to show others what they have done, knowing that they would get some scornful replies, and did it anyway.

Would you all punish or condemn a child, or maybe even your own children, if they proudly showed you a picture they have spent time drawing? Would you find fault and immediately jump to criticise their abilities, or would you take the time to ask them what the drawing means to them?

There’s so much malice, and moral superiority in this thread. It’s a little sad, but it also makes me wonder, is some of it a projection of how your parents treated you?

Let’s the people draw what they like, and if you can’t say anything nice, maybe don’t say anything at all.

Shloop shloooi
Shloop shloooi
1 year ago

Wow the hive mind to hate is real here, it’s like a pathetic compatition. I mean the man talks out of his arse but I feel like I can hear your tears.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
1 year ago

All I can say is that culture requires boundless power, at least according to this JP quote generator I’m fond of.

vaiyt
vaiyt
1 year ago

Lobsters follow a “biggest male beats up smaller males and gets the females” reproductive strategy.

That’s not even true. The lobsters in the study Peterson used as a basis for his crackpottery are solitary and their reproductive strategy is more of the “whoever manages to find a female in the middle of the ocean gets to mate” kind. They were behaving aggressively because they were stuck in a confined and stressful space.

Mk
Mk
1 year ago

Ah, I see. This is a misandry, er anti-misogyny website.

Weasel-Rah
Weasel-Rah
1 year ago

Was the study done on captive lobsters even? Awesome.

Even if they do behave that way naturally, I’d love to hear Peterson explain how it meshes with his forced monogamy philosophy.

An Impish Pepper
An Impish Pepper
1 year ago

People like JP seem to define any present-day human behaviour they approve of as “natural,” so it only makes sense that they’d selectively try to apply this to animals like wolves and lobsters, even in situations that anyone else would consider unnatural, as circular evidence of their beliefs.

Allandrel
Allandrel
1 year ago

Wow, any mention of Lobsterdad just causes the Lobsterboys to crawl out of the woodwork, chanting “out of conteeeeext.” Maybe there’s some way to use this as an energy source?

It doesn’t surprise me at all that Peterson’s lobster drivel doesn’t even reflect wild lobster behavior. That puts it right in line with all the Alphas vs. Betas crap that the manosphere is so enamored of despite being debunked decades ago.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Ah, I see. This is a misandry, er anti-misogyny website.

comment image

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago
Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

… Whoops, looks like standard HTML doesn’t work? Let’s try that again:

… Nope. Wow. Okay I’m just confused.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@WWTH
I think to them, it’s a zero sum game. They think that if you’re against misogyny, you must be a “misandrist”.

Come to think of it, these people have a lot of views that are zero sum. To them, the only alternative to hating people who aren’t white is to hate people white people. Or they think that to support LGBTQIPA+ rights is to oppose straight and cisgendered people. They don’t realize that it’s possible to support rights for a group without opposing rights for everyone else.

@Cyborgette
The site has some weird stuff when you try to post straight up HTML. I’ve tried and had very mixed results. What exactly are you posting?

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

@Naglfar

Embedded image.

And yeah, zero sum thinking is… ubiquitous. And IMO very much encouraged under white supremacist capitalist patriarchy (or whatever you want to call it). Believing we have more to lose helps keep us in line.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Cyborgette
The comments won’t accept HTML for images, but it usually works to just put the URL so long as it ends in an image extension.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Matti Kontinen

if you can’t say anything nice, maybe don’t say anything at all.

You first. I don’t go to blogs I disagree with and post comments about how awful everyone there is because I disagree with them.

Kim
Kim
1 year ago

Oh look, a fat fuck mangina loser using the creepy sleazoid strategy of being a male feminist shakes his soft chubby little fist and mewls like a scared kitten at a great man.

I got news for you Captain Creepy; No one respects or likes male feminists. Not even feminists who see you are useful idiots.

But you keep trying to lose your virginity before you die in your mom’s basement.

tim gueguen
1 year ago

This is another thread where I sit here going “Hmmm, who alerted the fanboys their hero is being criticized, and where?’

Sarity
Sarity
1 year ago

As always, lobsters drive-by pile in one by one to emptily whine and accuse instead of defend their precious idol with anything of substance.

Any one of you care to try justifying the “enforcement monogamy” quote again? We know you can’t, it’s just fun to watch you fumble trying.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Would you all punish or condemn a child, or maybe even your own children, if they proudly showed you a picture they have spent time drawing?

So, you’re comparing Jordan Peterson fans to children?

comment image?itemid=7229976

tim gueguen
1 year ago

@Kim, in what way is Peterson a great man? What makes you think David is a virgin? Are you eating nothing but beef and salt?

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Kim

Oh look, a fat fuck mangina loser using the creepy sleazoid strategy of being a male feminist shakes his soft chubby little fist and mewls like a scared kitten at a great man.

David doesn’t appear to be mewling like a scared kitten. I mean, he’s not the sad person who has nothing better to do than post angry comments on blogs they don’t like.

I got news for you Captain Creepy; No one respects or likes male feminists. Not even feminists who see you are useful idiots.

Actually, every female feminist I’ve asked has said they want to see more male feminists, and a large number of them are married to male feminists. I find it odd that they would marry men they don’t respect or like.

But you keep trying to lose your virginity before you die in your mom’s basement.

I have it on good authority that David isn’t a virgin and doesn’t live in a basement (not that there is anything shameful about either of those). Is that literally the only strategy you have, untrue ad hominem attacks on a man you don’t like?

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

Noticed a lot of Peterson stans popping up here. David, are there any worse ones you’re not letting through? I’m rather curious to see the worst of it, like one of the mailbag posts or “comments I don’t let through.”

Tovius
1 year ago

@Naglfar
I would be very surprised if there weren’t worse ones. Not sure I’d want to see it, though.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent, Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent, Bard of the New Movement
1 year ago

Huh. Noisestorm’s song output has really gone downhill. I mean, Crab Rave got memetic status for good damn reason, but Lobster Invasion is just bullshit.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

I quite like #3 as it has a bit of an Egon Schiele¹ vibe going on but, yeah, as a portrait, I’d have to be told that it was supposed to be JP.

¹ Egon Schiele: gifted artist, terrible person. Not quite Eric Gill levels of terrible, but getting there ☹️

Bluecat
Bluecat
1 year ago

Re: Dr P in the garden of Eden – evidently he’d eat the serpent (with salt) and scorn the apple.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

LOL @Kim, projecting much?

Gosh, what is it about JP posts that brings out all the trolls.

Mrs Obed Marsh
Mrs Obed Marsh
1 year ago

To the trolls: remember that Internet personalities are not your friends. They most likely don’t even know you. Going after everyone who criticizes them just makes you look like a cultist.

footprints in wet clay
footprints in wet clay
1 year ago

whenever these trolls come crawling out I can’t help visualizing a bunch of zombies, moaning about misaaaaandry and conteeeeext instead of braaaains.

occasional reader
occasional reader
1 year ago

Am i the only one who think the Peterson by Xiquip (the blue one) looks a bit like the Elusive Man from Mass Effect ?

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
1 year ago

I’m finding it super hilarious that all of the ‘DEBATE ME!!!!’* trolls always do drive by comments, and don’t stay to defend their views at all.

It’s almost as if they know that, in a space where any of the posters could notify the owner of the website that the trolls reached the point where they are more annoying than amusing and they would subsequently be banned, they aren’t interested in haranging people.

It’s super weird!

Also it doesn’t make *them* look very good that we know that 95% of the lobster ‘notice-me-sempai’ stans will never post a follow up, engaging with the community. I assume they are scared.

Big bad logic fans, unable to articulate how our critisms of J to the P are wrong. I think it’s probably because they have only ever talked about him with other indoctonated souls, or have won the ‘debate’ with the magic phrases ‘Out Of Context!’ or ‘Have You Watched All His Videos And Read All His Books?’

They always seem puzzled and offended when we point out that a ‘great communicator’ should be able to communicate his ideas oh, i don’t know, CLEARLY. Without needing 100s of hours of video to explain what should be a simple ass concept.

If you need someone to tell you how cleaning your room improves your life, may i recommend Mary Kondo? I have certainly found her ideas to be helpful.**

* i am making the pretty reasonable assumption that these same posters regularily get annoyed when people won’t debate them on, say, twitter.

** at the end of her first book, there is some fat shaming. She talks about how cleaning one’s living space frees one up to do other things they have wanted to do, and one example (iirc) was lose weight and ‘look healthier’.

I could have really done without that, Mary Kondo. 🙁

Allandrel
Allandrel
1 year ago

There’s a Kondo-based joke that I love:

Kondo: Does this item spark joy?
Me: No.
Kondo: Does this spark joy?
Me: No.
*Three hours later, in an empty house*
Me: Oh wait I have depression.

Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
1 year ago

I’m upset I wasn’t in time for this thread.

We haven’t had a proper troll invasion for ages, and the one time they do show up I have to be in a meeting 🙁

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@Violet
Thus far, all the trolls have been hit and run. You haven’t missed much.

Weasel-Rah
Weasel-Rah
1 year ago

Ironically, if Peterson was looking for an accurate “big bully male hoards all the submissive females for himself” archetype to follow, that is pretty much how sea lions do.

Robert
Robert
1 year ago

I spend more time on the r/JBP Reddit than is probably good for me *.If the regulars there are examples of how Petersonthink improves your life, I would run a mile in tight shoes to get away from it.

*I’ve long had a fascination with picking up big flat rocks and seeing all the squirming life underneath.