Does this snake’s mouth that looks like a vulva mean that women are sneaky snaky deceivers?

In answer to your title, yes. Yes we are.

What about this coconut?
The story behind it is rather funny. The coco de mer is indigenous to the Seychelles. When European explorers went to the Seychelles in the mid-1700s, they discovered the tree on which the coco de mer grows and believed that, due to its resemblance of a crotch and thighs, it must be the fruit of knowledge from the Bible and that therefore the Seychelles must be the Garden of Eden.

I am going to be extremely nitpicky and say that I don’t think the fruit in the very top picture could be a grapefruit – as far as I remember, pink grapefruits are a 20th-century invention. Maybe some kind of orange?
(Or maybe I’m remembering this wrong, but I do have a recollection of reading about pink grapefruits being first introduced in one of the World Fairs. I’ll look it up later, feeling a bit too tired and lazy right now.)

Ohhhh it’s a photoshop. Sorry, didn’t realise that. I should go to sleep.

And the entire snake looks like a penis, so are penises supposed to symbolize gullibility or something?

That last one is unforgivable, Mr Futrelle. Seriously considering cancelling my monthly donation.

(jk, just in case it wasn’t obvious – but only about the donation)

The correct term is vagina.

Well, it’s not actually hard to get the full vulva open mouth treatment from a snake.

Just find one that hasn’t been exposed to this stupidity and explain it to them. You may develop a reputation as a complete idiot in ophidian circles too, however.

I like the tree.

High Five, Buttercup Q. Skullpants!

Ummmm, “it was a snake that caused woman to deceive man in the beginning”?????????

What woman deceived what man exactly?

Also of note: God never, ever, ever told Eve not to eat from that tree of knowledge. He only told Adam. Adam didn’t have to eat that fruit. He had the choice to listen to GOD or to EVE. So why are we still bitching that the fall of alllll humanity is the fault of women when in fact it was ADAM who did the bad thing?

http://topfamousquotes.com/quotes/it-was-with-a-good-end-in-mind-%E2%80%93-that-392361/

@ CarrieV

Ooh, imagine how differently it could all have gone if Eve just kept the fruit to herself and built human civilisation inside the paradise. Sexy-simple-sweet is not my favoured type, but the world, I mean, paradise, would be so much better if that was the male role model passed on to sons of Adam.

CarrieV wrote on
October 10, 2019 at 9:45 pm:

Ummmm, “it was a snake that caused woman to deceive man in the beginning”?????????

What woman deceived what man exactly?

Also of note: God never, ever, ever told Eve not to eat from that tree of knowledge. He only told Adam. Adam didn’t have to eat that fruit. He had the choice to listen to GOD or to EVE. So why are we still bitching that the fall of alllll humanity is the fault of women when in fact it was ADAM who did the bad thing?

http://topfamousquotes.com/quotes/it-was-with-a-good-end-in-mind-%E2%80%93-that-392361/

Because Paul, unfortunately. 1 Timothy 2:13-14.

@kupo

The correct term is vagina.

The master linguist who pointed this out to us waaay back in february is still working on the matter. I thought I’d go back and remind myself of the event, and following the google docs link from his tweeter brought me to the goddamn Sept. 14, 2019 version.

I don’t think I never really appreciated the confidence of a mediocre white man until now.

Ha, reminds me of a Buddy Hackett joke

https://youtu.be/HWM8CR5WNP8

@Pie

The master linguist who pointed this out to us waaay back in february is still working on the matter.

That’s dedication, for sure. Does he not have better things to do? I don’t feel like reading through his many pages of mansplaining, so I’m not going to read it, it in a way I’m a bit impressed he’s put this much effort into this thing. Most trolls are not this dedicated.

I’m pretty sure the Georgia O’Keefe painting is 100% intentional…

@Pie
Now that’s just beyond pathetic. Dude cannot accept he was wrong about something.

@kupo

The correct term is vagina.

Haha! I nearly spit out my tea when I read this.

It’s clearly snakes, all the way down.

Fruit = snakes
Toast = snakes
Peanut butter = snakes
G O’K Paintings = snakes
Hair = snakes
Trees = snakes
Donald Trump = snakes
Vulvas = snakes

They all clearly exist to make fools of men. Men are clearly the center of the universe.

@ Kupo – V. Nice!

Is the header image by Lucas Cranach the Elder? It kind of looks like his work but it doesn’t match any of the Adam & Eve pictures by him than an image search turns up.

Eve clearly overjoyed at being snakesplained:

“And on the eighth day, Adam invented the blockchain”:

http://lucascranach.org/thumbnails/DE_smbGG_566_FR198C/06_Detail/DE_smbGG_566_FR198C_2010-01_Detail-003.jpg

Satan tries negging:

http://blogs.smartrules.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/eve-crop-e1534894257866.jpg

Adam always looks not the sharpest tool in the shed in any of Cranach’s paintings:

(Morty voice) “G-Gee, I don’t know, Rick Eve, he did seem pretty clear on the whole not eating of the tree thing…”

Ooh, look at this one: it’s got hermaphrodite naga-Satan and even the unhappy pair getting chased out by a really pissed looking sword wielding angel!

http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/jesuscreed/files/2015/06/From-Lucas_Cranach_the_Elder-The_Garden_of_Eden.jpg

“G’wan, be off with yourselves! and if I see you around here again, someone’s getting smote!” 😂

Other stuff old Lucas liked to paint:

1) Old dudes with young wives:

Look! The gold-digging hussy is picking the old lad’s pocket! Disgraceful!

(He also did a couple of renditions of “Lot and his Daughters” too, because of course he did)

2) Any number of Judith and Holofernes/ Salome and St. John the Baptist pictures:

“Last time you say anything about my hat, dickwad”

3) Cross-dressing Heracles:

Crafty ol’ Lucas, passing off his femdom and cross-dressing kinks on his patrons, who think they’re getting a stern moralising image on the sinful nature of humankind… or they were there for the femdom & cross-dressing too 😂

I cannot get over the peanut butter.

That peanut butter is amazing.

@Crip Dyke:

That peanut butter is amazing.

It reminded me of something your fellow blogger over at FtB, Marcus Ranum aka stderr, used to have on his old site: handmade soaps that were very anatomically accurate (his old site used frames so I can’t give a direct link but here is the Wayback Machine link to his old home page. The link is under “More Weird Projects”. Definitely heed the NSFW warning 😉)

@Cat Mara
I can only ask; how did he get soap molds shaped like the genitals of porn stars? Did he make them himself, or can you buy such things?

@Naglfar: I have no idea, though IIRC some porn stars have brought out sex toys moulded after their genitals; I guess he could have used one of them to make a mould for the soap. Or maybe he took impressions from women friends or models who didn’t want their real names used, so he substituted the names of well-known porn stars…

I am going to be extremely nitpicky and say that I don’t think the fruit in the very top picture could be a grapefruit – as far as I remember, pink grapefruits are a 20th-century invention. Maybe some kind of orange?
(Or maybe I’m remembering this wrong, but I do have a recollection of reading about pink grapefruits being first introduced in one of the World Fairs. I’ll look it up later, feeling a bit too tired and lazy right now.)

It’s not a grapefruit at all. Grapefruit’s are crossed pomelos and sweet oranges and didn’t exist in the 17th and 18th centuries.

That appears to be a peeled blood orange, which originated in Italy as “Tarocco” in the renaissance period.

@Cat Mara:
I looked at the 1st Eve & the snake picture you posted and thought “Eve looks like she’s thinking ‘Bitch, please, I will lob this indiscriminate piece of fruit at your head’.”

Would love to have read that in Genesis.